Reverse
by InkButterfly
Summary: Sequel to Reset. Mikado is now living happily with his two lovers but something doesn't feel right. He's had enough of dressing like a girl. It should be okay to change back again, right? Izaya x Mikado x Shizuo.
1. Dodging a bullet

Title: - **Reverse**

Rating: - M

Main pairings: - Izaya x Mikado x Shizuo

Disclaimer: - I don't own Durarara

Warnings: Yaoi, language, Izaya

Summary: - Sequel to Reset. Mikado is now living happily with his two lovers but something doesn't feel right. He's had enough of dressing like a girl. It should be okay to change back again, right? Izaya x Mikado x Shizuo.

**Dodging a bullet**

_A/N:- I had a lot of requests to do a sequel for this one, so yeah here it is. Enjoy._

Getting married. It's supposed to be the best day of your life. The planning could be stressful but on the actual day the church was all done up, the seats were filled and the music played loud. While standing in front of the church door in a lovely white flowing dress, the groom stands waiting at the alter for the two of you to finally join as one and enter into the next phase of your lives together as newly weds.

That was the way it's supposed to be anyway. Today however was a day from hell. Not only had this not been planned, there was no proposal or agreement. Yet there was a silver ring on a slim finger one size too small so there was no way for the band to accidentally fall off. The dress although beautifully embroided was too big, if there was too much movement an accident would happen.

Two familiar girls stood behind holding the back of the dress, one happy and loud the other quiet. The veil blocked whatever was in front. Walking blindly the specially made cuffs that bound her ankles dug into soft skin. This wasn't planned, waking up half asleep to be forced down the aisle wasn't fun. The music continued to play making her feet move in the only direction that didn't cause pain.

It was a slow and painful walk to the alter, though the giggling girls made it seem as if she wasn't being forced against her will. There was no point looking up to see the groom. Only one person would be crazy enough to think he could get away with this. "As I thought, you look beautiful." It didn't stop the blush rising at the gentle touch. The veil was slowly lifted crimson and blue meeting.

A quick glance around the decorated church showed that the seats were empty, the only ones here were Izaya, his two sisters and the priest that would seal her fate, binding her to the sneaky informant. There was no running and no escape. Sly hands slipped into her own clasping tight. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered her tod-" Izaya waved his hand.

"You can skip that bit." Why was he rushing things?

They had been living together long enough for her to know what was behind that poker face. Izaya was trying to hurry it along and glancing around the room for someone that should be there on the supposedly happiest day of her life. "Izaya, I want to do this properly." Crimson eyes narrowed suspiciously, after all she had been taught by the best. "Please?"

Stroking the back of his hand, she made sure her blue eyes were wide and watery, her lips pouty as she nibbled the bottom, it was a seduction technique that neither one of her lovers could stand up to. Sharp crimson eyes rolled, looking away. "…Its fine. Start again." Kanra smiled sweetly knowing she had brought some time. But would it be enough?

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to witness the joining between Izaya Orihara and Kanra Orihara." The priest coughed staring intently at her.

"You two aren't related are you?" Everything was working out perfectly. The mask was cracking, Izaya looked irritated. Shaking her head innocently she squeezed her lover's hand tighter.

"Not by blood." The priest nodded, happy to continue.

As she hoped they begun again. "Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join Izaya Orihara and Kanra Orihara in matrimony, which is commended to be honorable among all men; and therefore is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, discreetly, advisedly and solemnly. Into this holy estate these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

As is on cue the atmosphere became deadly silent, a loud rumbling surrounded them. "Tch! Carry on!" The priest was frozen standing completely still staring around wildly as if the sky was about to fall. Kanra hid a smile not wanting to show how relived she was. "Izaaayyaaa!" The two large doors at the back slammed open banging back against the walls.

There in the doorway stood her other lover, the more protective of the two. Shizuo Heiwajima the fortissimo of Ikebukuro and the owner of half her heart. Kanra couldn't take her eyes away drinking in every inch, the sun beaming in to highlight the faux blond hair. To everyone else he was a monster but to her he was an angel, someone that would protect her from everything. Trying to take a step forward the cuffs dug into her ankles.

Their locked gaze broke as she was pulled back to face her manipulative lover. "Priest-san, you can continue." Glancing up she knew there was no way that was going to happen. The man looked terrified clutching his cross and mumbling what sounded like a prayer. "Tch! Shizu-chan, fancy seeing you here." The reply was an angry growl.

Kanra read the situation knowing if someone didn't stop the two strongest from fighting then the church was going to look like a graveyard. Breaking Izaya's hold on her, she hiked up the long dress attempting to run forward. As expected the cuffs stopped her sending her sprawling to the floor. "Ow!" Both of them were by her side in an instant, a smile touched her lips as she was swept off her feet into the blond's strong arms.

Her arms wrapped around his neck, head on his shoulder as she was held bridal style. Izaya was checking her head for any injuries where she had face planted. "You didn't get hurt?" Shaking her head she relaxed knowing everything was okay. "Shizu-chan, why did you interfere?" It looked like another argument was going to break out. The two strongest would still fight but not as bad as before. The three of them were living together.

Kanra flushed when the flowing material was pulled further up her legs revealing the cuffs. "I knew you were up to something. What the hell are these?" Within seconds the middle of the cuffs had snapped allowing movement. "Sorry. I can't risk breaking them completely." All over again she was falling in love.

"Its okay, I just want to go home."

"Any problems? Flea." Shizuo's voice was cold, even as he held her gently. "You're sleeping on the sofa tonight." Here they go again. The informant gasped.

"Shizu-chan, it was only a joke." Both she and the blond showed their distaste. "Or could it be you're jealous? You can be the mistress." Kanra could hear the volcanic temper rumble under the surface. Reaching up she gently touched his cheek.

"Shizuo, can we go home now?"

Without another word her lover carried her from the church as Izaya skipped beside them keeping up with ease. It was more than a little embarrassing since everyone was staring at them. "This isn't fair, it looks like you two are the ones that got married." She could feel coffee and crimson clash again.

"Shut up, flea." This was everyday life and she wouldn't change it for the world.

Well actually there was something she would change. There had been a chance to change back which had been taken away. "Shizu-chan I want to carry her." Kanra tightened her grip. "Kanra-chan, don't be mad." Angry was an understatement. Right now if she had her knife she would be using it.

It was Izaya that unlocked the door letting them in before her other lover smashed it again. At last they were home. "Take the cuffs off." A small key fit into each lock the heavy cuffs hitting the floor. Her legs wobbled a bit as Shizuo tried to set her down.

"Can you stand? Flea! They left a mark." Sure enough there were deep red indents across her skin. For once the raven looked guilty, running his fingers along each one.

She wasn't surprised when she was back in strong arms and carried into the large bedroom that they all shared. Kanra was set gently onto the bed, unclipping the veil, it was placed on the bed while she moved her long raven hair out of the way. It was Izaya that helped her out of the dress, unzipping the back. The sooner the dress was off the better.

It wasn't long before she was sitting in her lace bra and panties. The informant was smoothing out the dress. "We can use this next time." Kanra glared at him, reaching behind to unclip her bra and revealing her completely flat chest. If there was one thing she wanted to change, it was how everyone saw her.

The next thing to go was the long raven wig, because she wasn't a girl at all. She was a he living a completely new life. Shizuo ruffled his hair which he had let grow since there was no point in cutting it, so yes he did look more like a girl. His birth name was Mikado Ryugamine. It was thanks to Izaya and Shizuo that he was still alive and breathing.

Even though he had grown up ordinary, he was anything but. He had created a colourless gang for fun, the Dollars. The group had taken on a life of its own and he was the only one to control it. He alone was there leader. But with great power comes enemies. His wasn't the only gang in Ikebukuro, there was the yellow scarves and blue squares, along with Saika's army. It was when his identity was revealed that Izaya had to step into a burning building to save him.

His life had been saved and after some planning on the informant's part, his death had been faked. His new identity had been as Kanra Orihara, Izaya's sister. After a series of events and a lot of guilt, both Shizuo and Izaya had become his lovers and protectors. Those close to him knew who he was, even dressed as a girl. Anri, Celty, Aoba and of course his ex best friend Masaomi who had tried to set their home on fire.

But now that was in the past and he was still stuck as Kanra Orihara. Mikado had no intention of living his entire life dressed as a woman. As Kanra he had his own place in Ikebukuro. Now it wasn't just the two strongest of Ikebukuro, it was three. "Shizuo, Izaya. I don't want to dress as a girl any more." It had been the only thought in his mind. Putting on make-up everyday was time consuming and tedious, the panties were a danger to his growing manhood.

Crimson eyes narrowed. "No, things are fine the way they are." No matter how much he pouted or looked wide eyed and innocent it didn't look like the raven would change his mind. "Mikado-kun is dead and buried, Kanra." He knew that, after all he had attended his own funeral as heart-breaking as it was. For him to suddenly re-appear alive and well would cause a lot of damage, especially to his parents.

Shizuo ruffled his hair trying to cheer him up. "Its okay, we'll find a way around it." The blond was always the more caring of the pair, not afraid to show his true feelings.

"Shizu-chan, can I talk to you?" Mikado waited on the bed watching as his two lovers left the room. Even if it wasn't as Mikado it didn't matter, as long as he got to live as a boy. Opening the top drawer and removing the facial wipes he quickly cleared the make-up from his face.

Removing the constricting white lace, the teen slipped on a pair of boxers he had managed to buy, though they would soon be disposed of. He knew his lovers were worried about him, even if they argued, there was no doubt that the three of them loved each other. But everything seemed so long ago now. As Kanra he was working as an informant. The danger had passed. It should be okay for him to become male again. Right?


	2. The two informants

**The two informants**

Shizuo sighed glancing at the closed bedroom door. "What?" He still wasn't happy with the stunt Izaya had pulled. "Its dangerous for Kanra to become someone else. It won't work again. It barely worked the first time." The faux blond shuddered slightly remembering everything that had happened. "Shizu-chan. Kanra needs to remain as she is."

He knew that. "Flea, As long as she's happy, I don't care. I'll protect her." His lover laughed bitterly. "Yes, because you did such a good job last time. Who was it that pulled her out of that fire while you were trapped under some stairs? She needs both of us protozoan." Clenching his fist, the pair glared at each other.

"Do what you want, I'll continue to watch over her and you're still sleeping on the sofa tonight." Shizuo didn't care if the flea was pouting or not, opening the bedroom door, Mikado smiled up at him. "Feeling better?" The teen nodded hopping from the bed.

"Much. Can you burn the dress for me?"

The red rings were still there around the small ankles, making him want to throw something at his lover. "No! We can use it again a-" Shizuo slammed the door.

"Thanks." The teen clung to him, crawling into his lap as he sat down. Using his foot, the chest of drawers slid over and blocked the door.

"Hey open up." Ignoring the banging on the door, the pair shared a quick kiss.

"Should I put the wig back on?" To him it didn't matter but the flea was right. "I guess I'm staying as Kanra for now..." Gently cupping the teen's chin, Shizuo kissed him again not liking how upset his lover looked. "For now you can be whoever you want." Mikado grinned at him tipping them backwards. "I love you, Shizuo."

Neither one noticed the banging had stopped, the two lost in each other as they made out on the bed. "That wasn't nice, Shizu-chan." Izaya put his knife away climbing through the window. It didn't mean anything to him that this was the highest floor in the building. "Kanra, what are you wearing? You're a girl, these don't suit you."

Nudging the brute out of the way, Izaya climbed onto the bed, fingers sliding under the waist band to slide the boxers off. The teen's eyes lit up in anticipation. "Get dressed Kanra, we have work to do." Mikado nodded silently watching as Izaya struggled with the chest, left the room and discarded his boxers.

"Ah! I have work too." With a quick kiss the blond was gone leaving him alone.

Mikado rummaged though the drawer pulling out a pair of panties, maybe next time he would be able to buy some more boxers. Fixing the wig back on again, the long raven hair fell over his shoulders. With a sigh the teen reached for the make-up.

"Good morning, Izaya-nii." Kanra smiled walking slowly to her desk. Sharp crimson eyes looked over her following her legs since she was wearing yet another high neck top and a skirt. Pulling the chair back she took a seat. Her desk was right beside her brother's but far away enough that Izaya could spin safely around in his chair without hitting her.

Usually the older raven would say something but since his secretary had just walked in, there was nothing he could say. "Good morning Namie-san." The raven haired woman glared at her boss, sending a smile her way. "Good morning, Kanra. Do you want a drink or something to eat?" Izaya was ignored completely.

"Namie-san, where's mine?" Hands on hips the woman glared at him.

"Get it yourself, you should know where the kitchen is." With a sigh Kanra turned on her computer. It was the same every morning. "Why are you so nice to Kanra then? I'm the one that pays your pay check." She could see Namie gritting her teeth.

"Fine! I'll make you a damn coffee." The day had just begun and already Izaya had pissed the secretary off.

Once the computer had finished starting up, Kanra typed in her own password to login. It had been a good step to become a trainee informant and Izaya's partner. At first she hadn't been trusted at all, except for the accidental meeting with Shiki. Her progress had been slow since Izaya was notoriously known as the best.

It had started with a few small cases, tracking down missing pets and whatever her partner passed to her that he didn't view as dangerous. In reality while she was working, Kanra wasn't supposed to leave the apartment. If she did it was under the supervision of her other lover. "Thanks Namie-san." Usually all three would wake up in the morning, one of them making breakfast depending on energy levels and who could move.

Dragging the plate in front of her Kanra started on her toast, taking quick bites as her stomach reminded her that she was hungry. Blowing on the hot liquid she took a sip. When she was with Izaya there was a need to feel grown up. When she was with Shizuo she could act as spoilt as she wanted. "Namie-san! You put sugar in this."

Shaking her head Kanra opened her emails, as well as the Dollar's message board and the chat room. No one was on in the chat room, there was nothing interesting on the message board. The gangs had settled down. Closing them both down it was time to get to work.

The first few requests were searching for missing cats. With a sigh Kanra shook her head. They were regular clients. How did someone manage to lose a cat that much? Marking the emails as unread she looked for something more interesting. Old habits died hard, the curiosity to be extraordinary was an ongoing problem.

The next one was a cry for a help. "Izaya-nii, I think this is your one." Crimson eyes glanced up from where he was arguing with Namie. "Oh? Let me see." The main informant stood behind her, head resting on her shoulder as he read from the screen. Izaya was slightly clingy and very possessive. "Ah! Yeah, that one is for Nakura. Forward that one to me." Doing as instructed the email was deleted.

"Izaya-nii, you can get off me now." Her heart was quickening.

"Hm? Why is that? Kanra." That smooth voice was like silk against the shell of her ear. Kanra clenched her fingers trying to calm the rising fever running through her body, her face was already on fire."

"If you two are going to openly flirt, then I'm going home." Namie was watching them a bemused look on her face.

In response Izaya's hands drooped around her neck. "Like you can talk. You know you want to be all over Seji-kun."The new mug slammed down on the older raven's desk, hot liquid spilling everywhere.

"Hey! You're cleaning that up." The secretary smirked slipping a hand into her pocket. "Ugh. I forgot he gave you his number. Don't you dare call Shizu-chan back here." Kanra coughed quietly.

"Can I get back to work?"

Now she was on her way to becoming well known and she had something Izaya didn't. A heart. Kanra could openly sympathize with her clients, while her brother took the more clinical approach, so if it was something upsetting and delicate, it would be down to her. It meant though that there was a fair few requests for love advice.

It was close to lunch that there was a knock at the door. Since the blond had a key it wasn't him. "Namie-san." The secretary glared at him opening the door.

"Oh great. Come in." A girl with long hair and red eyes came in. Immediately Kanra knew what this was about.

"This one is yours." Shooting her own glare at Izaya, Kanra stood to greet her new client.

"Hi there. I'm Kanra the informant, you need my help?" The girl sniffled nodding her head. "Namie-san, please can you make some drinks?" Namie nodded walking away.

"At least some people ask." Gently resting a hand on the girl's shoulder, Kanra guided her into the private room that had been set up. That was the bad thing about having the desks side by side. If it was anything dangerous she would be involved for overhearing.

This way they had privacy. Slowly closing the door, Kanra showed her to her seat. "How can I help you?" Most likely it would be therapy again. The girl sniffled bursting into more tears. This was going to take a while. "My fiancée. I think he's cheating on me."

"What makes you think that?" The room was small but cosy with window access for a quick escape if need be. The chairs were large and comfortable, where you could sink into them, the table small but fit in with the rest of the room.

In her hand she held a clipboard and pen, jotting down the details. "When we first got together-" The door opened, Namie walking in and carefully placing the mugs down. "Thank you, Namie-san." The long haired raven left the room shouting something at Izaya.

"Um, when we first got together we would always be together, we were happy. Then I got pregnant and he proposed." Kanra could see the small bump and the silver band. "But lately he's been distant. My calls always go to voice mail, he doesn't come home until late. I think he's...cheating on me."

Kanra remained silent. The girl was in a delicate position and the first time she had been careless and Izaya had to fix things as Nakura. "Are you sure he isn't working extra shifts for you and the baby?" She was just a kid herself, this was out of his league.

"No. We have a joint bank account, I see everything that goes in. I brought a statement with me." Kanra took the folded piece of paper opening it. She recognized the restaurant name and the hotel. "I've never been to either of these places."

In this case, it was pretty open and shut but without proof there was nothing she could do. Her answer was going to make things worse. "Do you want to wait here? Or I can call you back?" The girl shook her head. "I'll wait here." Kanra nodded.

"Then I need a few more details from you."

Closing the door, Kanra sighed making her way back to her desk. "What's wrong? Kanra." Shaking her head, the chair was pulled back. Slumping in her seat, her fingers quickly went into the programme Izaya had set up. Though legal or other means, her brother and now her had access to every camera in Ikebukuro.

The client had given her the statement along with a photo of her fiancée. Going into the cctv inside the restaurant, Kanra backtracked to a week ago when the money was taken. "Crap!" Sure enough there was the guy in question, his arms draped over another woman. It didn't look like a co-worker the way they had their tongue down each other's throats.

Kanra felt miserable as she printed off all the incriminating evidence she had found. Opening the top drawer she took out the legal documents as well as her partner's business card. "Be careful Kanra." With a nod of her head, the teen steeled herself taking the pile into her sobbing client.

Gently closing the door, she took a seat wondering where to start. "Hikari-san, I've finished my investigation. I'm sorry. I've got the evidence you need, along with some legal advice. I have a friend who is a doctor, he can help you with any thing you need for the baby. This is someone you can talk to about anything. I'm sorry."

The girl wiped her eyes shaking her head. "No, its okay. I knew what was happening. Thank you for your help. For now I'll go back to my parent's house, until I figure out what to do. Its not just me I have to think about." Kanra blinked as the girl hugged her tightly. "Can I ask you to do one more thing? Please return this to him and let that know what he is."

Kanra remained seated long after the girl had gone. She wasn't a good judge of character but it looked like she would be just fine. The silver band sat on the table where it had been left. The door opened footsteps sounding behind her. "Take a break if you need to." Standing up she let Izaya sit down, dropping into his lap. "Izaya-nii, how do you do this? You find pleasure in people's pain but for me it hurts. I just ruined that girl's life."

Izaya's fingers played with her hair, her head rested on his shoulder. "Its my job to watch over my precious humans. Suffering is part of their lives. You helped free her Kanra. She'll leave him and start again. Her whole future will be planned around raising that child." Kanra narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"How do you know that? I didn't say anything." Izaya only grinned.

"I observe people, remember? I have a client in half an hour so I'm going to need this room." Nodding her head her fingers tightened not wanting to leave just yet. "We can stay here until then." Kanra smiled closing her eyes. "Thanks, Izaya-nii."


	3. A little shopping

**A little shopping**

"See you later, Izaya-nii!" Making sure the computer was locked, Kanra leaned over kissing Izaya quickly and waving to Namie on the way out. The client that would be arriving shortly would be the very person she wasn't supposed to be getting involved with.

Izaya's main client Shiki. She had accidentally gotten his attention and now the informant was doing everything he could to keep the man away from her for her own good. It was hard work avoiding the limo, since her lover's sisters asked to see her all the time and somehow a dark haired girl would always be at the same place. Her name was Akane and Shiki was in charge of her safety.

Which was why instead of taking the stairs and risk being seen, Kanra climbed out of the window hurrying down the fire escape. From where she stood she could see the sleek vehicle as it parked up. It was a good thing she hadn't taken the stairs or the elevator, that would have been one awkward meeting.

Making her way down, Kanra grinned as she flipped over the last one, landing gracefully. Izaya would be proud. Pulling her long hair into a twist, she threw up the fur trimmed hood quickly hurrying away from their shared apartment. Unlike the raven she didn't get bored. She still had her friends to keep her company, as well as her other lover.

Which was where she was heading now, footsteps light against the pavement. It wasn't hard to find the irate blond. All she had to do was follow the damage. Usually it was worse during his chases with Izaya. In the distance she could hear the screeching of tyres and grinding of metal. Moments later there was an out of control blue car swerving across the road, the roof had been cut clean off.

Kanra grinned hurrying in the direction that the car had come from. There he was as handsome as usual. No that wasn't the way she would describe him. Hot, strong, gentle with a huge heart. "Shizuo!" Waving her hands, her steps quickened towards him. Everyone else was keeping their distance, since the surrounding area was strewn with vending machines, sign posts and there was the roof the car was missing.

It looked like her lover was in a bad mood. Not that it mattered, although Shizuo's temper was explosive, albeit quick so as soon as those rage filled coffee eyes turned to follow the calling of his name, they warmed immediately settling on her. The signpost fell from his grip, outstretched arms opening for her.

Kanra smiled running into them. Her lover embraced her, strong arms gently around her waist. That usual frown slipped into a smile meant only for her. "What are you doing here?" Her smaller arms wrapped around his back. "I thought I'd come and see you. Izaya has a client." She didn't need to say which one.

"I'm done here. I'll buy you something to eat." Shizuo placed a kiss on her forehead, letting her go to take her hand. "I'm glad the flea is keeping to his promise." It sounded like her lover was mad with Izaya, even so the same gentle smile was in place. "Where do you want to go?"

Kanra returned the smile squeezing the larger hand. "Why don't we go to that bakery?" When she was with Shizuo, the raven would help indulge her lover's legendary sweet tooth and when she was with Izaya she would share his love for fatty tuna. She was the link that although the weakest out of the three, held them together.

"How are your ankles?" Whilst Izaya masked nearly everything, everything showed on her blond lover's face. There were no secrets between the two of them. Toeing at the ground, Kanra glanced away. "You went down the fire escape again, didn't you?" Slowly nodding her head, she waited for a scolding. When it came to her health both of her lover's were in agreement.

"Woah! Shizuo, put me down." Kanra was swept from her feet into strong arms. "I'm serious." A whimper left her, hands covering her eyes as her face heated up from embarrassment. Everyone was staring at them.

"I'm not letting you go." His voice was stern and left no room for argument. With a sigh Kanra tugged at the skirt to make sure the wind didn't catch it.

"Shiki-san, what can I do for you?" Izaya grinned opening the door to the private room. He noticed the man glance around quickly before stepping inside, it wasn't hard to guess what he was up to. Shiki wouldn't be getting his hands on Kanra. The two gorilla built bodyguards followed behind. Shiki took a seat in one of the chairs, the two men standing behind him.

"Orihara-san are you ready?" Namie had made herself scarce leaving the three of them alone. He would dock her pay for it later. Closing the door, Izaya plastered a cocky grin on his face skipping over the other chair, the one he and Kanra had been making out on only a little while ago. There was no need to worry about her, like a magnet she would've found the third person in their relationship. Maybe after this, he would meet up with them.

"The other informant isn't here?" Izaya snapped out of his daydreaming relaxing in the chair.

"I'm afraid not, she had some errands to run." The man opposite nodded but said nothing.

"I see, perhaps then we can get to business?" Izaya smiled taking the picture that was slid across the table. "I want you to find something."

One brow raised crimson eyes narrowing on the photo. It was a picture of a gun. Well then, this was interesting. "The organization has lost a gun?" The room grew colder, quick fingers reached into pocket for his knife.

"The correct term would be stolen. Yesterday evening someone broke in and stole that gun." And Shiki wanted it recovered.

"Were the prints wiped?" That icy aura was back. With a sigh Izaya flipped the photo over seeing nothing on the other side. "I suppose I shouldn't ask who the weapon belongs to?"

Shiki stared back calmly. "That would be wise. I need that gun found. Once you have it the payment will be deposited into your account."

Business as usual. "Of course, I will inform you once I have the information, unless you want me to recover it as well?" The man in the white suit was already standing.

"Just the information will be enough. Good luck." Izaya smiled waving as the three left the room. He didn't move until the front door of his apartment slammed shut.

Someone had been stupid enough to steal a gun from the Awakusu-kai. Not only that but the weapon hadn't been been wiped clean and whoever it belonged to could end up in a lot of trouble. "Ah, such a troublesome request." Izaya sighed leaving the room. He wanted to go and find his two lovers, yet if he didn't deal with the problem Shiki had soon, then it could come back and bite him.

"Shizuo, this isn't the bakery?" Kanra blinked in confusion. Shizuo was carrying her into a large shopping centre. "Where are we going?" Gently the faux blond lowered her to her feet. They had stopped hurting a long time ago, there had been no need to carry her.

"Come on." The raven hurried along finding herself standing outside a clothing store.

"Why are we here?" Even so she slipped her hand into his.

The two of them walked hand in hand past the children's clothing. "I thought I'd treat you. You know Izaya won't apologize for that wedding incident. Pick whatever you want." Kanra beamed throwing her arms around him. Her hand was released.

"You aren't coming?" The blond shook his head.

"You can handle it on your own." Gently she was pushed away. "I'll meet you back here."

Kanra sighed nodding slowly. It was rare that she got to go shopping and choose for herself, usually Izaya would order everything, whilst Shizuo got everything from his brother. Heading towards the brightly coloured sections, she looked back regretfully at the boys clothing section. Shaking her head with a sigh, Kanra looked away.

Shizuo sighed his fingers twitching in need for a cigarette. It didn't help that those in the store were staring at him. Fists clenching he kept calm walking around. Kasuka was the one that brought everything for him and still did, although Izaya had offered to buy him something. From the corner of his eye he could see the sales assistant watching him.

It was a tough choice deciding what to buy. One by one the articles of clothing were folded over his arm. No doubt Kanra would be finished soon. Flicking through the hangers he found a nice pair of black jeans, now all he had to do was find his correct size. It was easier than he expected, well almost. Grabbing the rack a bit too hard, the blond cringed as the steel groaned underneath his grip.

Next was the shoe department, his own were more than a little worn and really he could by his own rather than bother his brother with such a trivial request. His eyes widened as he spotted a pair he liked. "Damn it." They didn't have his size.

"Excuse me, may I help you?" Glancing up from where he was crouched the sales assistant stood waiting with a smile.

"Do you have these in another size?"

Kanra swept around the store finding things that would suit her. At first she had been carrying the small bundle in her hands, now she was holding a basket. Picking up another skirt she held it against her facing the mirror. That was added to the basket. It was dangerous when she liked almost everything. Maybe she should stop and put things back.

A hand landed on her shoulder making her jump. "Shizuo. Sorry, was I taking too long?" The faux blond shook his head.

"No, I just finished myself." Crimson eyes widened. Her lover was buying for himself?

"Oh. Um I think I chose too much." Coffee eyes glanced into the basket.

"If it's what you want. Do you need anything else?" Shizuo was being patient with her. Her own gaze slid to the lingerie section.

"Go ahead, Kanra." A large hand gently ruffled her hair.

Izaya glanced up hearing a key turning in the lock. At last his two lover's were back. "We're back." Shizuo was first in holding a ton of bags. One brow raised. The protozoan had been shopping? "Welcome back." Opening the drawer, the photo of the gun and the information he had found was placed inside, a small key locking it for safety.

"You went shopping?" He recognized the shop name from the bags. His eyes widened slightly as a plastic container was placed on his desk. "You brought me fatty tuna?" The blond shrugged moving to walk away. "Shizu-chan." Pushing back his spinning chair, Izaya threw his arms around his lover.

"What's the occasion?" Kanra was watching as the two of them kissed.

"Does there need to be one? I need to put these away."

Izaya watched him. Usually the protozoan wouldn't splash out. He knew exactly how much his lover was paid from working with Tom and with everything he had just brought it should leave him with very little. "You know if you wanted anything, I could get it for you." He had more than enough money to support his two lovers.

"Its fine." Crimson eyes narrowed in suspicion, opening one of the bags.  
"You brought Kanra clothes?" Again he was met with a shrug. "Shizu-chan." The door closed. Turning around the raven stared at Kanra.

"How did he pay for everything?" Something wasn't right and he hated not knowing.

"Cash. Is there a problem?"

"I'm not sure yet." But he would find out.

Kanra sighed watching her two lovers. If she was right then soon they would be heading for another argument. Shizuo was sitting on the bed one of the cake boxes in his hands. The only bags left on the bed belonged to her. Kanra began taking the tags off and folding them away. "Shizuo, Izaya-"

"The flea worries too much. I brought some things in the wrong size, I already removed the tags so if you want them keep them."

His lover left the room with his cakes. The raven picked up the bag Shizuo had been talking about, mouth dropping open. The clothes were her size exactly, the few t-shirts, two pairs of jeans, boxers and trainers. They were all correct. Dropping down on the bed, Kanra clutched the clothing, feeling warm. Izaya wanted her to remain as she was. But the bundle in her hand showed Shizuo's support for her wish.


	4. When it happens to you

**When it happens to you**

Crimson eyes narrowed seeing his lover sit down on the sofa, nibbling at the cakes. Taking his fatty tuna Izaya dropped down next to him, their shoulders touching. "What's wrong, Shizu-chan?" He knew something was different, the protozoan was usually unpredictable. Those warm coffee eyes were averted.

"That's the last time I decide to buy you anything." Still his lover didn't look at him.

"Don't get me wrong, Shizu-chan. I'm very grateful." Placing the container on the table, the raven moved closer climbing into the faux blond's lap, the box of cakes now in his hands. "If something was wrong, you would tell me, wouldn't you?" His fingers rested on his lover's cheek, gently pulling him forward so their eyes met. "Shizu-chan."

"I can handle myself, flea. You know that." Shizuo sighed, giving Izaya a quick kiss. As usual the raven didn't want to stop at chaste. The cake box was placed on the table, the impatient raven connecting their lips, tongues entwining. His lower half stirred in response, Izaya grinding down. The bedroom door opened, Kanra standing in the doorway watching them.

Crimson eyes danced. "Lets take this to the bedroom." Izaya jumped off of the blond's lap, skipping around the sofa to join Kanra. "We can't forget Kanra."

"...Yeah, okay." Izaya said nothing plastering a grin on his face. It wouldn't be good if their younger lover caught on. It was hard enough to keep Kanra out of trouble as it was.

Kanra was smiling as he led her inside, the shopping bags had been cleared away. A shame since he wanted to see what the pair would buy themselves since their clothes were usually brought for them. Izaya licked his lips at the thought of the blond in something other than that bartenders uniform. As much as he liked taking it off layer after layer, it did nothing for his lover's figure.

No one else apart from him and Kanra knew the bodyguard so well. Which was why alarm bells were ringing in his head, signalling that something was off. Usually the two of them would be bickering over who got to take Kanra first. Glancing behind him he could see his lover hadn't moved yet. "Shizu-chan" Izaya sang wrapping his arms around a blushing Kanra. "I guess I'll shower our princess with love first."

That got him moving, strong arms snatching the younger raven from him. That usual frown was gone replaced with a smile that didn't quite reach those far away eyes. "Did you forget? You're sleeping on the sofa, flea." Izaya pouted.

"Shizu-chan!" He whined moving closer. He could have the brute wrapped around his finger in a second.

It helped when Kanra was a blushing mess, then again it was his fault. "Shizuo, please?" Two against one. Shizuo huffed directing them through the bedroom door. The three of them fell onto the bed a tangle of limbs. Izaya began working on the blond's bow tie, noticing how half hearted his lover was trying to remove his top.

Everything seemed to stop when a shrill ringing filled the room. Kanra blinked in confusion, whilst the faux blond seemed to freeze, muscles tensing underneath him. "I have to get that, you two can continue." Izaya covered his worry with a smirk, refusing to move.

"I'm sure it can wait." Leaning close, crimson eyes widened, staggering back as he was pushed. "Shizu-chan..." The blond was already rushing through the door to get his phone.

"Izaya-nii, is Shizuo okay?" So she could tell something was different as well. Moving closer to the doorway he could see his lover pacing talking quietly on the phone. It looked serious, the look on his lover's face tugged at his heart strings. How was he supposed to continue like this? Dropping down on the bed, Izaya grinned up at Kanra. "So are you going to show me what Shizu-chan brought you?"

Kanra flushed looking down at her feet. "Izaya-nii." She wasn't the dressing up doll type.

"I'll show you." Pulling open the drawer, she had made sure the boys clothes had been hidden under a mass of silk, frills and lace. Taking out a new pink pullover with silver stars along the bottom, she held it up.

"Eh? You're not going to model it for me?" Her lover's voice teased against her ear.

"...I-I could wear it tomorrow." Taking one step back, there was no escape from the arm wrapping around her waist.

"Hm, you could. What else are you going to wear?" Kanra knew it was a distraction from what Shizuo was doing, she happily went along with it not wanting what they had to end. "How about these?" Izaya held up a pair of new lace panties she had forgotten to take the tag off.

"Izaya-nii!" The two of them laughed, Kanra chasing Izaya around the room, as he leapt over the bed.

When Shizuo returned it was clear nothing was going to happen, the faux blond stripped off heading for the bathroom, only to walk smack bang into the centre of the door. If Izaya wasn't going to follow it up and find out what was wrong, then she was. There was a nasty feeling in the pit of her stomach. Shaking her head in dismissal, her arms tightened around Izaya.

Her lover thumped around making a lot of noise. It was a long time before he left the bathroom, heading straight for the bed. His hand rested on her head gently lifting her chin and placing a chaste kiss against her lips. "Good night, Kanra." Izaya got the same treatment. "Good night, flea." The raven turned and left the room.

Shizuo climbed in under the covers turning over. It looked like nothing would happen between them tonight. Leaving the light on, Kanra went to join Izaya who was at last eating his beloved tuna. The box of cakes remained on the table. "Izaya-nii, I'm going to sleep too." Crimson eyes flicked up to meet her own.

"Good night, Kanra." Izaya was just like usual.

"Yeah, good night." It didn't take her long to get ready for bed, snuggling under the covers next to her lover. Her arms wrapped around herself, trying to quell the unease.

The next morning when she awoke, Kanra found the space on her left empty. Turning over Izaya was still fast asleep on her right. It wasn't even six yet. Sliding from the bed, the raven smoothed down her night dress tiptoeing across the carpet. It was unlike the faux blond to wake up so early.

The man in question was in the kitchen cooking breakfast, another surprise since Izaya was usually the one up at the crack of dawn. He looked distant and worried, placing some of the pancakes in a small tub. "Good morning, Shizuo." For now it was better that she wasn't suspicious. The blond jumped turning around, his fingers pushed the box out of sight.

"Morning, I didn't think you'd be up early." The smile was forced, his arms embracing her.

"Same here. Izaya-nii is usually the first one up. You look good." A blush dusted her cheeks taking in her lover's new appearance. Gone was the repetitive uniform replaced with a white fitted shirt that showed the perfectly toned torso off. The charcoal jeans were loose past the ankles but they too hugged slim legs.

"Thanks, the jeans feel a bit too tight." Kanra looked down covering her nose.

"It's fine. You look perfect." Perfectly hot, she couldn't help but feel a little jealous if Shizuo was going to go around like that. Even the dyed blond hair was styled. The fortissimo could easily pass as an idol.

"I made you and the flea breakfast, I have to get to work." Another chaste kiss and the blond was gone, slipping his new boots on at the door. The container was gone, leaving two plates, one plain for Izaya and the other for her. The ones in the tub could be for work, there were no dirty plates, so she knew he hadn't eaten. That had to be it. Taking her own, she took a small bite.

Kanra sat at her desk going through her old case folders. Cheating. It was a frequent topic with her clients, every one had partners that couldn't remain faithful. The signs were usually clear. Shizuo had seemed guilty... "No!"

"Hm? No what? Its not good to talk to yourself, Kanra. Where is Shizu-chan?" Izaya came around the desk to drape himself over her shoulder.

"Work, I think. He was up pretty early." Too early. "He made pancakes."

"...Did he? I missed seeing him in his new clothes. Maybe I should go and bother him. Ah! I still have that to find." Kanra said nothing, not wanting to pass her doubt onto the other informant. "Pancakes but no coffee, such a brute. What are you doing today?" The raven was already grabbing her clothes heading for the shower.

Izaya took a seat at his desk, waving as Kanra left the apartment to meet a client. He knew it was a lie. There was no doubt that the trainee informant had come to the conclusion that the blond was cheating on them. The thought had crossed his mind too. His hand came slamming down on the desk, his knife burying into the wood.

As much as he would like to follow after the protozoan, the blond knew his scent best, so much that he couldn't get within sight distance. For now he would let Kanra follow and see if it was true. And if it was...Well then the fortissimo would find himself in very hot water. He wouldn't allow any cheating from either of his lovers.

For now he had his own work to do. Finding a missing gun. Opening the drawer, Izaya smoothed the picture over his desk, yanking his knife free. "Now then. Where do I start with finding you?" For now he couldn't afford to worry about anyone. One mess up and it could all be over, that was the nature of the business he was in.

One of his phones began to ring. Fishing out the correct one in irritation, his eyes narrowed seeing the screen. Why would his sisters be calling him? Still at least they hadn't bothered him bursting through the door. Kururi didn't use the phone, unable to speak in normal sentences. "What do you want, Mairu?"

_Izaya-nii! _The other voice sobbed at the other end. His sister was strong and rarely shed tears. _I can't find her. She's gone. _The photo was slid back into the drawer.

"What do you mean?" It must be serious if his sister was crying and asking for his help. The two twins were little devils unless it came down to Kasuka or Kanra.

_I don't know. We were getting ready for gymnastics, then she was just gone. Izaya-nii, please. Help me find her._

"Alright. Calm down. Where are you?" Listening to the broken sentences, the informant was already reaching for his coat, locking the apartment door. "I'm on my way." It was thanks to his two lover's that he was able to improve his relationship with his sisters. They still offered to get rid of him and other mean suggestions, yet they were still blood. He hadn't meant to corrupt them and now it looked like Kururi had been dragged into a bad situation.

Kanra wiped her eyes ducking around the corner. Shizuo hadn't gone to work with Tom, instead he was briskly walking through a growing crowd. It was thanks to her training she could easily follow, hugging the fur trimmed coat around her. Making sure she wasn't too close, Kanra tailed her suspicious lover perfectly, so much that Izaya would be proud.

Her stomach dropped though watching the blond stop outside a hotel. It was looking bad, she didn't want her hunch to be true, it would wreck everything, throwing the balance out once again. It was lucky that she had pocketed Izaya's collapsible binoculars. Instead of heading in after Shizuo, Kanra looked at the opposite building, quickly scaling her way up along the balconies.

From here she could see through the windows, now she only had to see if she could see the blond. The raven had almost climbed halfway before she caught sight of two people standing in front of one of the windows. One was unknown, a hooded sweatshirt hiding their identity, the other was the newly styled blond, the pair of them were embracing.

Kanra reeled back dropping the binoculars, down they fell lost somewhere on the ground below. "...Why?" She had never expected that this would happen, Shizuo loved them...so why? Quickly climbing down from the building the confused raven began running away from the hotel. What was she supposed to tell Izaya? Wiping viciously at her eyes to stop the tears from falling, she failed to watch the roads like she was supposed to.

With no Izaya and no Shizuo beside her, there was little she could do in the ice cold presence of the intimidating yakuza. The sleek limo slowly pulled up beside her, the tinted window winding down. "Well isn't this lucky? The door was pushed open, inviting her into the shadowed interior.

"Hello, Shiki-san." Kanra cursed as her voice wobbled. Her luck had run out.

"Come in, I'll give you a lift back home." That tone left no room for argument, it was more like an order.

Her feet moved unable to disobey the polite sternness, climbing into the limo, she nervously took a seat, jumping as the door closed. "I wanted to talk to you, It's a shame I haven't been able to catch you. I have an offer for you." The man smiled. "I don't think you'll refuse." Kanra swallowed tugging at the hem of her new navy skirt. Why did Shiki look so confident?


	5. Slithers of discord

**Slithers of discord**

Kanra clenched her hands together squeezing her knees together. Izaya wasn't here and neither was Shizuo. The door was firmly closed, the engine starting up, the sleek vehicle rolling forward. Until it stopped she was trapped. A shiver ran through her feeling the cold aura around the elder raven.

Shiki was dangerous and Izaya had given her explicit instructions to keep away from him. Today she had failed and now she was forced to listen to his request as an informant. It would be rude to turn down Izaya's best client.

"I would like you to work for me." Crimson orbs widened still refusing to look at the man, her fingers nervously drawing patterns on her knee. "I've seen your work first hand. Doesn't it feel too cramped working with Orihara-san?" This wasn't happening. She couldn't bare to be apart from her lovers.

"I-I like working with Izaya-nii, he's teaching me everything." Biting the inside of her cheek Kanra forced her head to move gazing briefly into those dark eyes before she had to look away.

"That may be true, however I haven't seen you outside of the apartment unlike Orihara-san. The cases you are given are small and easy, correct?"

The inside of the limo felt suffocating, the expensive interior seemed to make everything seem smaller. It didn't help with the intimidating yakuza focusing all his attention on her making her feel like a small helpless child. "Izaya-nii doesn't want me in any...danger."

"Yet you can handle yourself. You could be so much better with proper guidance. I'm offering you a chance to grow away from Orihara-san's suppression. If you continue this way you will only be bound to small jobs, you will never surpass him." Kanra shook her head, she didn't want to surpass her lover.

"I-I'm not sure." If she straight out refused the man, he might do something to her or Izaya.

"I understand. You can think it through, I'm a patient man. Take your time. Its a big decision." Kanra blinked in confusion.

"What do you mean?" She could stay where she was couldn't she? Shiki smiled leaning back.

"You would be living with me. I can guide you, make sure you are the best at what you do. I would be your guardian, you can live how you want under my protection."

The trainee informant shrank back trying not to show her shock. "H-How I want?"

"That's right, you are originally male. Girl or boy, its no concern of mine. I believe this is your stop." She hadn't noticed the wheels had stopped rolling, the door held open for her. "Think about it and let me know you decision." Kanra nodded trying to stop her fingers trembling.

"...Thank you." Was her voice shaking? Was her fear obvious?

Climbing from the suffocating presence, her fingers gripped the top of the door for support, freezing as her name was called. Slowly turning around she gazed into those dark eyes. "I trust you won't make a mistake, who knows what could happen..." Taking a step back Kanra tried not to stagger, the door slammed shut. The driver didn't bother looking at her as he climbed in the drivers side. The dark tinted windows stopped her from seeing the yakuza but she knew he was staring at her from the inside.

"Keep it together. Keep it together." Biting her lip, Kanra watched Shiki leave her field of vision her legs finally giving way, slumping to the ground outside of her apartment. Was that the case? For her to regain her true identity she would have to leave her possessive lover? Fishing into her pocket, trembling fingers found her phone, going for the first speed dial. All her strength had vanished. Her chest ached hearing the constant ringing. Was she not that important to him any more?

The first time it went to voice mail, the second time her call was answered after several rings. _Kanra? Is everything okay? _Shizuo. At least he had answered. _Kanra?_

"...C-can you come and g-get me?" Why was her voice shaking so much?

_...I'm at work at the moment. Where are you? _Kanra let the phone slips from her fingers. Her lover wasn't at work he was in that hotel. Her vision blurred tears beginning to fall. He had lied to her.

Izaya stared down at his little sister, throwing her arms around him. The dark blue shorts and long white t-shirt did nothing to hide her figure. It was weird not seeing his two sisters together, even weirder that the loudest of the pair was clinging to him with tears running down her cheeks.

"You came? You really came?"

Truthfully he hadn't meant to corrupt his siblings, trying to keep a distance. In the end it hadn't helped, both of them becoming little devils. Mairu had become the loudest and Kururi the quietest. It was they had decided between them and that's what he had accepted. "Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?" They weren't close but if anything happened he would be there.

Mairu sniffed getting his jacket dirty. "B-because I try and get you in trouble and I would always handed you over to Shizuo so I could meet Kasuka." Izaya pushed her away sighing at the state of his favourite jacket. Crouching down,his arms wrapped around her shaking form.

"I'm here now, aren't I?" Gently yanking the hood back, he ran his fingers through her hair.

"Yeah. Thanks Iza-nii. But you know if I get to see Kasuka, I'll still give you up to Shizuo-nii." Izaya grinned. "Oh? It wouldn't matter, we live together." Mairu grinned scrubbing at her eyes. "Now where is your sister?" If anyone hurt the twins there would be hell to pay.

"We were getting ready for gym, then I turned around and she was just...gone. Kuru-nee doesn't leave my side. Find her for me." Izaya nodded standing back up, looking for a tissue in his pocket.

"That's my job. Come on, lets go find her." Out of the two twins Kururi was the quietest and most dangerous. Mairu would fix the situation, whilst Kururi would bide her time, her reactions deadly and volatile.

Together they checked the surrounding areas, the gym was clear. Next to him Mairu was trembling eyes wide as she clung to his arm. The pair of them had never been separated and by the looks of things it looked like they had become so dependant on one another that they wouldn't be able to go their separate ways. "Come on, lets keep looking."

Shizuo stared at his phone mumbling his younger lover's name. It sounded like she was crying. Scared and crying and he wasn't there. But shouldn't Izaya be with her? The call had been cut leaving him standing in confusion. There was a bad taste in his mouth knowing he had lied to her. Slipping the phone back into his tight jeans pocket, the faux blond glanced at the still halfway full tupperware box.

"I have to go." Back to his upset lover and find out who had dared make her cry. A hand rested on his own, swallowing thickly, Shizuo brushed it off.

"You're leaving?" Why was this so damn hard? "You promised you wouldn't."

"...I'll be back. I'll bring more food." Desperate arms clung to him refusing to let go.

"Stay. Please stay." As much as he wanted to there was still Kanra and Izaya.

"I can't. I'm sorry." Returning the embrace, Shizuuo closed his eyes wishing he wasn't in this situation.

"Why? Why can't you? Its because of them. Isn't it? Its always them. Do you not care about me any more." Shaking his head, he pushed a little harder than necessary.

"I'm sorry. I'll be back." Not wanting to listen to the loud sobbing, Shizuo slipped out of the hotel room closing the door behind him. Collapsing against it, the fortissimo slid down head in his hands wondering what the hell to do.

"There she is." Izaya slowed pointing at one of the tables outside a café. Kururi was sitting happily drinking what looked like a milkshake, opposite her sat a familiar teen and one he was wary of Aoba Kuronuma. "Ah." Glancing down his younger sister was looking downcast.

"Sorry Iza-nii. Looks like I called you for nothing. I didn't know she was on a date."

Kururi and Aoba, he couldn't say he didn't see it coming, the two were close. It would be a lot healthier than the twins current relationship. "Mairu?" His sister laughed covering her eyes.

"Ah, so that was it. She didn't tell me. I guess she didn't want me to know." Izaya said nothing knowing she was crying behind her hand.

His gaze narrowed seeing Aoba staring directly at him waving an arm. "Mairu, we're going to interrupt." There was something off with the entire situation and he didn't like it at all.

"It's fine. Lets leave them alone." Mairu mumbled quietly. Izaya sighed dragging her along.

Mere moments later he was standing beside the table, his younger sister staring up at him with a small smile. "Kururi, you should inform someone when you vanish." The smile didn't quite meet her eyes. Instead of answering him, the quiet twin left her seat knocking the milkshake onto the floor. She barged past him throwing herself at a red eyed Mairu.

"K-Kuru-nee?" Izaya watched the pair embrace each other, a slight tremble visible from the missing twin.

"They'll be fine. Now then should we talk?" Aoba was looking up at him mirth in his eyes and a smirk on his lips. "Somewhere private. We wouldn't want to get in the way of that." Turning around he could see his sisters lip locked. Shaking his head he silently moved past them gently tapping Mairu's shoulder.

In his pocket his phone was vibrating. Leaving it ring Izaya followed after the young raven, keeping his eyes peeled for any sign of a trap. "Don't I get a thank you?" They were far enough from his sisters.

"For making Mairu panic?" His sarcastic question was met with laughter.

"For protecting Kururi. That's the problem with you and Shizuo, you don't realise that people you care about can be harmed."

Izaya stroked along the flat side of his blade keeping his poker face up. "Kururi doesn't see me as a potential boyfriend, she only has eyes for her sister. But you already knew that." Aoba stepped closer his hand clenched into a fist. "I think this is meant for you."

Something cold was dropped into his open palm. "It was in the wall of the warehouse next to where she was tied up." Izaya stared at the silver bullet resting in his palm. "It looks like you've gotten your sister tied up in another mess."

Clenching his fist, the raven slipped it into his pocket. "Oh? I see. And why exactly would you be telling me this?" The teen rested against the wall.

"Because I intend to protect her. Even if its not that way, I'll still be in her heart and as the leader of the blue squares I will protect her." Izaya blinked admiring the teen's determination.

"Then do so. Lets see if you can. My sisters can handle themselves. Lets see if Kururi wants to be protected." Turning away, Izaya flipped up his hood heading home.

"Orihara Izaya. Where is Kanra-senpai?"The informant was already skipping through his precious humans. Too clean. Too easy. The whole thing had been a distraction and judging by the bullet he had a pretty good idea of who had arranged it.

Kanra sat in the meeting room slouched in the chair. Her phone was on the floor where it continued to flash signalling someone calling. Everything was falling apart. Izaya wasn't here and wasn't answering his phone, Shizuo was cheating on them and had lied about it. What was right any more? After the problems they had gone through to get together, shouldn't their relationship be unbreakable?

The raven sighed slumping further down. No, no relationship lasted forever. How many cases had she taken on that had proven that? "Kanra? Izaya? I'm home?" Her hands rested on the chair ready to pull herself up, heart pounding in her chest. But how was she supposed to face him? She knew where he had been.

"Kanra. Is everything okay?" There he was standing in the doorway, gazing at her with love and concern. Kanra nodded allowing herself to be pulled into a hug. "Did something happen?" She didn't know what scared her more, Shiki's offer or the fact their relationship might not last. Izaya would need to know but she knew he wouldn't take it well. For now though she could enjoy the warmth of her lover trying to ignore the fact that only a while ago he had been with someone else.

Izaya threw open the door panting harshly. Damn, he shouldn't have left her alone. "Kanra? Are you still here?" The door to the private meeting room was open, the raven sitting on the faux blond's lap resting against his chest. Izaya sighed glad nothing had happened, his gaze travelling over his lover's new wardrobe.

With a low whistle he moved closer. "Damn Shizu-chan. Why are you here? Shouldn't you be at work?" The protozoan had never been good at lying, looking at the wall beside him.

"Kanra called and seemed upset, so I asked Tom if I could leave early."

Without a word Kanra brushed the blond's arm away storming from the room. Izaya followed her movements with his eyes knowing there was something wrong. "...Did he? Tom-san is too easy going with you." His lover said nothing getting up from the chair. Izaya whistled again liking how snug those jeans were. He couldn't help reaching out and squeezing those fine globes.

"Oi. Hands to yourself."

But what had prompted the new change? Why was Kanra so upset? "Shizu-chan, if you want I can call Tom-san for you and apologize." In front of him his lover flinched.

"No that's okay. I'll go in early tomorrow." The smile was fake, the guilt in those coffee eyes evident.

"Are you sure? I could do it no-"

"Drop it, flea." His lover growled heading for the door. "I'm going for a smoke."

Izaya sighed hearing the door slam rattling against the hinges. Shaking his head the raven pushed open the door to the bedroom, where Kanra jumped into his arms sending them both to the floor. "Kanra? What's wrong?" The girl only sobbed burying her head against his chest. Why was everyone abusing his favourite coat today?

"Shizuo- Shizuo is- I followed him-" Izaya held her tight guessing at what she had seen. At least that was the only problem.

"Is that all? I'll deal with Shizu-chan. You didn't run into anyone else?" Crimson eyes looked away and he knew she had been caught by Shiki. The bullet was heavy in his pocket. Was the yakuza that determined to get his hands on Kanra? It was a little insulting to his reputation, since he was the best informant.

"Come on. I'll make us something to eat. Everything will be okay." He had his two lovers, all three of them were bound together and he wouldn't allow either one of them to walk away from their relationship.

"Really?" Kanra looked up hopeful. Shiki, Shizu-chan or the gun. Which problem should he deal with first? "Yeah. I'll make sure it will."


	6. Distance and confusion

**Distance and confusion**

_A/N:- Thank you for the reviews and onto the next chapter. Enjoy._

Shizuo leaned against the railing lightly banging his head. Both Izaya and Kanra were suspicious of him. That look of hurt was one he had never wanted to see on the teen's face. "What the hell am I doing?" The blond growled exhaling smoke in front of him. It wasn't fair on either one of his lovers.

The phone in his pocket vibrated again and since both his of his lovers were in the apartment it could only be one of two people. Sliding his hand into his back pocket Shizuo held his phone glaring at the screen. Accepting the call Shizuo barked down the phone before the other person could get a word in. "I'll be there soon." Ending the call he turned around hearing the door open.

"What do you want, flea?" Izaya stood there without a word his head tilted slightly. Shizuo knew he was being analysed. Gritting his teeth and stubbing his cigarette the blond let the butt fall.

"What's going on, Shizu-chan? You're not a very good liar. Kanra thinks you're cheating on us, that's why she's so upset." Cheating? Is that what they really thought?

"What about you?" His actions would maybe give that idea but cheating? He loved both Izaya and Kanra. "Do you think I'm cheating?"

"Do you think I would allow you to? You're mine, Shizu-chan." The flea smirked hands in his pockets.

"Whatever. I have stuff to do." Walking past his forearm was grabbed sharp crimson staring into his own.

"Why don't you stop acting like the lone wolf and ask for my help? You do need it, right?" Shizuo bit his lip shrugging the hand away.

"This isn't something you could help with, Izaya."

x-x-x

Kanra sat at her desk eyes fixed on the door. Izaya had gone to talk to Shizuo. Clasping her shaking hands together she knew there was nothing to do but wait. Izaya and Shizuo had known each other longer. She could be wrong accusing her lover of something he hadn't done. It hurt to think that the trust between them was breaking.

Reaching up Kanra clenched her fingers in her long dark locks slowly pulling it forward until the wig fell onto the desk, the fake locks spiralling over the keyboard. Closing her eyes the trainee informant leaned back against the chair resisting the urge to run out and eavesdrop. She had told Izaya her fears, it was now up to him to deal with them.

Her own demons were lurking closer, Shiki's tempting offer not far from her mind. The only ones that she held dear in her knew life was Izaya and Shizuo, if they didn't love her any more...then why should she stay? Why suffer at wearing constricting panties every day? But they did love her, the ravenette knew it with absolution. "Help me, Iza-nii."

The yakuza had offered her what she most desired. Why couldn't there be a single day without the frills and girlie clothing? No. She shouldn't think like that. It was for her own sake, her own protection from those that had once before destroyed her life and would set out to do so again.

x-x-x

Izaya closed his eyes hearing the door slam shut behind him. The protozoan wasn't cheating on them he had known as soon as he had seen the brute's expression. Perhaps he had been too quick to judge angered at how it had upset their younger lover. It wasn't like him to do so, proof that his whole world was becoming just Shizu-chan and Kanra.

Even so something was wrong, something the bottle blond couldn't tell them about. Either way he was going to find out what was wrong. Opening his eyes Izaya turned on his heel pulling open the thick door and making his way back to his apartment. It wouldn't do well to keep Kanra waiting, especially after she had met with Shiki.

"Kanra, I'm back." Opening the door he could see the girl slouched in the chair head in her arms. Closing the door softly behind him the informant sighed crossing the room. Slipping between the gap in the desks Izaya crouched down brushing the short dark bangs out of the way. "You shouldn't sit like this, it will damage your back." He lightly scolded.

The teen nodded slowly looking tired. "Where is Shizuo?" Izaya sighed not too sure how to answer.

"I don't know. Something urgent came up. Kanra, he's not cheating. Shizu-chan isn't the type to." It surprised him how much conviction there was in his own words. The protozoan would never betray them.

"T-Then what is he doing? Why is he sneaking around?" The teen sniffed sitting up and demanding answers. Izaya said nothing scooping up the wig and balancing it on the tips of his fingers.

"I don't know yet. Whatever it is I don't like it." The informant wanted nothing better to do than march straight to the hotel the brute's so important guest was staying at and demand to know the truth. He hated it when he didn't have the answers. The problem was Kanra. Izaya couldn't leave her on her own.

"Can we go to the hotel? Shizuo's guest should still be there." Wordlessly Izaya nodded seeing the gleam in his lover's gaze. Before the blond was declared innocent the other secret would have to be revealed.

x-x-x

Shizuo sighed miserably trudging along the asphalt. A car had been offered to pick him up yet he had declined not wanting to spend any longer with them unless it was necessary. It was funny how gangs challenged him or tried to ambush him normally. That was why he was walking in the shadows of alleys keeping out of sight. A single scratch on his face and everything would be ruined.

Slowing his steps his nose twitched in disgust. Gritting his teeth the fortissimo spotted two teens exchanging money and something else. Stupid idiots throwing their lives away. Storming up to the pair Shizuo grabbed the older of the pair the one who now held the money while the other ran free only for the blond to trip him up. "What the hell are you doing?"

The teen grinned sheepishly giving him cock sure attitude. "What's it to you old man? You want some?" As soon as he locked eyes on the mysterious package Shizuo hit the roof lifting the now scared teen by his throat. "Where did you get it?"

x-x-x

Kanra clung to her lover's arm as they neared the hotel in question. Whatever was inside or whoever was inside was something Shizuo had tried to hide. "Iza-nii, is this right?"

"What do you mean?"

"Shouldn't we wait for Shizuo to tell us?" Even as her conscience made a stand her legs continued moving in sync with Izaya's.

"That stubborn protozoan won't tell us." Izaya laughed bitterly. "He wouldn't want to get you in any trouble. As for me I guess some feelings from the past remain."

Kanra blinked shaking her head. "Shizuo loves you, there's no way he has any hatred any more." Shizuo loved the both of them whole heartedly, didn't he? Either their lover would be in that hotel room or they would come face to face with the one that had Shizuo on edge.

The doors slid open the hotel sign bright above them. Guilt ate away at his nerves. Thanks to Izaya he was used to prying into people's personal lives, just not those that he cared about. "Its too late to go back now. You still doubt Shizu-chan, right?" Wordlessly Kanra nodded following Izaya inside.

x-x-x

"You're late!" Shizuo sighed not surprised. The idiot was beginning to seriously to piss him off. "Get changed." Closing his eyes the blond let himself be ushered into the room a white curtain pulled across. Glancing down he chuckled lightly. No one had noticed that the clothes he wore were still in perfect condition.

Everything was all ready for him hanging up on their individual hangers and labelled. Checking his phone Shizuo closed his eyes seeing that he had no messages or missed calls. The flea hadn't really answered him. It was possible that Izaya thought he was cheating. Both of them doubted him, it didn't matter about his feelings for them.

"Damn it." Dropping his head in his hands Shizuo closed his eyes trying not to think about the current situation. Everything was out of control and not even his brute strength would solve it. The curtain was yanked back harshly the angry man staring at him.

X-x-x

Izaya hid a smile thinking about how cute his adorable younger love was. The teen was holding his hand staring at the floor. If he pointed out that it was Kanra's idea to come here...shaking his head the informant pushed the thought out of his head. It wouldn't do any good to tease either of his lovers with the way things were.

For now he needed to hold himself in check until everything went back to normal. Taking the stairs two at a time Izaya's sharp eyes followed the numbers on the doors. "It's here." Kanra mumbled holding tighter to him. There were no texts or messages on his phone, Kanra was the same looking disheartened.

Knocking loudly on the door they waited. Inside the room he could hear a loud thud a single voice. The door flew open the single occupent staring at them in confusion. "Eh?" Kanra blinked looking up at him for answers. Aoba's words came back to him. _That's the problem with you and Shizuo, you don't realise that people you care about can be harmed._

Taking control Izaya stepped inside pushing the hooded figure back before he could run. He didn't need to be an informant to know what was wrong. Hollow eyes and sunken cheeks said it all. The quiet hero was once again protecting someone. "You're not n-"

Izaya glared at the source of their unease. "No, I'm not. What have you done to yourself?" The grey hood was pulled up the figure shrinking back against the sofa hiding behind the mess scattered over the table.

x-x-x

"Okay, hold it there." Click. "Move a bit to the left. A bit more." Like a marionette his body moved as instructed. Click. "Almost done." Click. Click. "Maybe unbutton the top few buttons. I'm sure your manager won't have any arguments, Yuuhei." Shizuo said nothing undoing the first button. Any further and the scar on his chest would be revealed. "Okay, change outfits."

Pushing himself up Shizuo walked away from the set up catching his reflection in the large mirror. Pretending to be someone you're not, he knew all too well what it felt like. At least his situation was hopefully temporary. Mikado was stuck as he was. "Yuuhei! Why are you spacing out?"

Shizuo glanced at his brother's manager the man who had single handily got him caught up in modelling. It was supposed to be Kasuka up there having his picture taken. As it was he was reduced to sitting or kneeling so his taller height didn't give him away. Closing his eyes the fortissimo took a deep breath breathing out slowly. His brother's career hung in the balance. The moment he stepped out of line everything would come tumbling down.

x-x-x

Kanra shrank back not liking the way the hooded figure was staring at him unseeing. Izaya was standing protectively in front of her. "Well Kasuka-kun? What have you done?" It was unbelievable that the actor his lover had been so proud of was reduced to a shell huddled on the sofa biting nervously at his too short nails.

"Where's nii-san? I want nii-san, he promised he wouldn't leave me alone. He promised." Kasuka muttered. "I-I changed my mind. I want my money back. I can be good, I'll be sensible. I-I won't buy any more. I- I can stay clean. "

"Iza-nii." Taking a step back the raven didn't look at her eyes focused on the not quite stable actor.

"Kanra. Go and call Shinra. Get Celty to come and pick Kasuka-kun up." Her eyes widened seeing Izaya's expression. With a shudder she drew out her phone quickly selecting the correct number. "Shizu-chan shouldn't be dealing with this on his own." Kanra nodded in agreement feeling guilty at the relief in her heart.


	7. Heart to heart

**Heart to heart**

It was finally over. Leaving the photo shoot for the last time Shizuo pulled the wig from his head letting his bottle blond locks show. "What are you doing?" Kasuka's manager hissed closing the door and barricading it as if the actor's entire fan base was trying to get in. "Put it back on. Whilst you are still in the building and in view of the paparazzi you will play your part as Yuuhei's double." Letting his head drop the blond sighed in resignation.

His job was to protect his brother's career until he was well enough again. At the moment he didn't know how long that would be. "I know." Clenching his fists Shizuo breathed deep calming himself down. Fixing the wig he knew it was time to leave.

"Hm, you've improved a little. Remember don't show any sign of emotion on your face. Try not to walk around like a street thug. You are impersonating a model and one of the greatest actors in Japan. Do you have any idea what will happen if Yuuhei's fans find out their hero has turned to drugs?" Shizuo let the words wash over him.

It was for Kasuka. Everything depended on him. Responsibility. How he hated that word. There were too many things that had become precious to him and he knew if he wasn't careful he would lose them all. "I'll be careful." Biting his lip Shizuo paused instead biting the inside of his cheek. Right now he couldn't afford to have a single scratch on his body.

"Good. I'll drop you off at the hotel." The hotel a block away from where his brother actually was. Without looking at his reflection Shizuo stood heading for the door. It was hard trying to walk like a model while slouching to make sure the height difference wasn't discovered. Nodding at the people on set the blond followed after Kasuka's manager.

x-x-x

The double life was beginning to get to him. Leaving a message for both Izaya and Kanra that he would be late Shizuo entered the hotel clutching hold of the takeaway boxes. It was all he could manage at such short notice. Kasuka would forgive him, if he even recognized him. Waving at the receptionist, Shizuo took the stairs not wanting to stop for a moment.

Taking a deep breath his forehead rested lightly against the door. It was painful watching the younger brother he had been so proud of fall. He knew Kasuka wouldn't do that shit willingly which meant someone was behind it and when he found them they would suffer. By keeping his lovers in the dark he was only adding tension to their relationship. Apart from the love they had for each other there was nothing to hold them together.

They weren't married, they didn't have kids...There was nothing. As soon as Izaya decided he was bored everything would end. Pushing the key into the lock Shizuo pushed the door open. "Kasuka, I'm back. Sorry I didn't have time to cook you anything, if you're not happy with this I could pay for room service. Kasuka?" The room was empty. Usually his brother would come running to him wanting affection and to know he wasn't alone or he would be curled in a ball shivering in the corner.

"Kasuka?" Dropping the takeaway containers on the table Shizuo began to panic throwing open the bathroom door. "Kasuka!" Slamming the bedroom door back on its hinges every muscle in his body tensed locking him in place. Kasuka wasn't in the room but there was someone else.

"Kasuka-kun isn't here Shizu-chan." Izaya sighed standing up from the edge of the bed. "Did you really think I wouldn't find out? I'm an informant, its my job to know everything. You should have told me-us about this."

"Shizuo, I- I'm sorry." Kanra cried still sitting on the bed. "I didn't know. I thought the worst." Shizuo remained frozen. He hadn't expected Izaya and Kanra to be here. Stupidly he had underestimated them.

"Where is Kasuka?" His brother wasn't sane enough to go outside or be in the company of others. Not to mention if someone actually recognized him.

"Shizu-chan..."

"Where the hell is my brother, Izaya. What did you do to him?" Storming forward his fists curled in Izaya's coat lifting him form the ground.

"Relax, Shizu-chan. Celty took him to Shinra. Its better for a doctor to look after him. You know he's going through withdrawal. This isn't something you should be dealing with on your own. I know you're trying to search for the dealer. You live with two informants and you didn't think to ask?"

Shizuo sighed relaxing his grip on the door. "Its not your problem. I'm dealing with it."

"Shizuo, What are we to you? I thought we were supposed to trust each other and not keep secrets. I thought you were cheating on us." Averting his gaze Shizuo felt guilt eat away at him.

"Kanra, You're all important to me. I didn't want to pass my problems onto you, I didn't want you to worry."

Izaya laughed bitterly. "Well you failed there. We're involved. Kasuka-kun will get help from Shinra and Celty. Now I think we all need to talk. Its not just you that's being attacked." Blinking in confusion Shizuo stepped further into the room leaning back against the wall.

"What do you mean attacked? They hurt Kasuka not me."

"Precisely. This isn't a direct attack, whoever is behind this is going for our weak points in other words those we care about. "Someone tried to kidnap Kururi."

"What?" Shizuo gasped. They had gone out to hurt Izaya too.

"Aoba Kuronuma stopped it and is currently acting as a protector for both of my sisters. At that time Shiki-san approached Kanra. The moment we were distracted he got to her." Both of their gazes turned to the quiet teen on the bed.

"He asked me if I wanted to live with him. He said that I would have the freedom to be who I wanted." Shit that was why his lover had been so upset. Kicking off the wall Shizuo stepped forward crouching down in front of her.

"I'm sorry Kanra, I was so preoccupied with my problems, I failed to notice yours. Know that I would never cheat on you ever. Do you forgive me?"

"Ooh, are you going to beg me for forgiveness too?" Izaya grinned.

"Shut it, flea." Although he was smiling too. All the seriousness had drained from the raven's face.

"Shizuo, There's no need to forgive you. You didn't do anything wrong." Kanra smiled hugging her lover. "I'm sorry I accused you of cheating."

"Who else would love the fortress of Ikebukuro but us?" Izaya smiled curling an arm around Kanra's waist. "So the change of outfit...not that I'm complaining." Shizuo sighed in relief feeling everything drain exhaustion taking over. Slumping forward his hands rested on his lovers' knees.

"Kasuka's manager said I walked like a street thug. I've been doing modelling jobs acting as Kasuka." It was thanks to Izaya and Kanra that he stayed upright.

"I was going to say, lets go home. Do you think you could leave the room?"

"Yeah. Wake me up when it gets here." Shizuo pushed himself up barely managing to get on the bed. Curling into a ball he was out like a light in seconds.

x-x-x

"Are you going to call a cab?" Kanra asked watching her lover sleep. Almost ten minutes had passed and Izaya hadn't made a move.

"No. Shizu-chan needs to sleep. No doubt that manager will keep bugging him. We'll stay here tonight and go back in the morning." Izaya was already stripping off sliding under the covers next to the blond. "Are you coming in?" Nodding her head Kanra took off her clothes leaving her bra and panties on. Both Shizuo and Izaya had been attacked while she hadn't.

"Izaya-nii, am I next? Whoever tried to hurt your family, hasn't tried to hurt mine yet. Am I next or is this my fault?" Sliding under the covers Kanra shuffled closer hugging the sleeping blond. Underneath her fingertips she could feel his heart beating.

"I'm not sure yet. Your life is a new one meaning my family is your family. The closest ones to you would be me and Shizu-chan. The way Shiki-san approached you though at the correct time...Get some sleep Kanra, we'll worry about it in the morning."

"...Okay." Leaning over she gave her lover a kiss moving on to the sleeping blond before settling down and closing her eyes. All doubts had been blown away, the three of them were back on the same page. The next time she saw Shiki she would hopefully have the courage to say that she didn't want to go with him. Shizuo and Izaya were her home.

x-x-x

Izaya was still awake sitting up resting his head on his knee. His two lovers were fast asleep all worry and stress gone from their features. Like this he could see that the protozoan had lost weight, most likely on purpose so he could give a better act as his baby brother. Kasuka was in serious trouble, it would take a lot of will power and help to get him back to his usual self. "Silly Shizu-chan, trying to play the hero by yourself. You know it gets you into trouble."

Kanra looked like she had made a decision. Which he knew would not please Shiki. The teen would choose to stay with them no matter what. Izaya sighed knowing he should probably warn Anri. It was unlikely but the two were friends. He doubted Kanra would be targeted since they had already been. Whoever was behind the attacks was singling them out, trying to demonstrate their power. Again his mind went back to Shiki.

The search for the gun was nothing but a distraction. If he had chosen work over his lovers then they wouldn't all be peacefully sleeping in the same bed. Izaya had chosen his lovers instead and that meant all three of them now knew what was going on. Now they could support each other against the threat. Resting his head on the blond's shoulder his fingers entwined with Kanra's. "Sweet dreams you two."

x-x-x

Anri stayed silent as she stood with Celty. The dullahan and her best friend apart from Mikado had allowed her to come around when she wished. That was the only reason why she was witnessing the illegal doctor struggling to take care one of his patients and not just any patient. It was the fortissimo's brother Kasuka. They had met when the three of them had thrown a house warming party to let everyone know they were living together as lovers.

Back then the actor had taken his brother to one side whilst Mikado had watched with worry. Whatever was said didn't affect anything. Now here he was right in front of her looking pale and shivering violently. A hand rested on her shoulder forcing her to look away. Held out in front of her face was Celty's PDA. _Come on, I'll take you home. Please don't tell anyone about this. _

Anri nodded pretending that she hadn't seen anything. Keeping secrets was no problem for her. She had her own, then there was Celty's and the fact that Mikado was still alive and living as Kanra. Everything was tightly locked away for the sake of their friendships. No doubt her friend was suffering worrying over the blond.

Leaving the apartment the teen followed after the dullahan. Taking a seat on the motorcycle shadows curled around her head creating a helmet. Wrapping her arms around Celty's slim waist the raven held on as the bike roared to life speeding out into the night.

Sirens pierced the hair blue and red flashing closer. Shaking her head she could feel the tremor against her cheek. Celty hated traffic police. The bike sped up keeping distance. Anri froze hearing a shot ring out. The bike shuddered underneath her the front wheel stopping throwing them into the air.

With nothing to stop her Anri felt herself soar before crashing into the asphalt. Celty wasn't too far away from her the yellow helmet cracked on the ground, the bike had transformed into a jet black horse laying on the ground. Feeling her eyes slip she could feel something damp underneath her head. Trying to reach out to her fallen friend the teen's vision blurred her fingers dropping catching sight of a figure walking towards her.


	8. Time out

**Time out**

_A/N:- Thank you for the reviews and onto the next chapter. Enjoy. _

Izaya was the first to wake taking a moment to gaze at his two sleeping lovers. The blond was sleeping like a log brows furrowed unable to relax even when he was fast asleep. Pressing a finger gently between his lover's eyes he tried to help him relax. For now it would be best to leave them sleep.

Before the phone reached its second ring, Izaya's hand was in the blond's pocket cutting the call. The number belonged to Kasuka's manager, the cause of his lover's stress...well partly. Whoever had tempted Kasuka with illegal narcotics was the one to blame. "Mm." Glancing up his other lover stirred blinking awake. "...Izaya?"

Placing a finger against his lips Izaya ended a second try quietly slipping from the room. Kanra followed after fixing her hair. "Good morning, Kanra." Izaya grinned slipping his arms around her waist. He already knew there was only sachets of instant coffee in the room. "Sleep well?"

"As well as I could. Aren't we going to wake Shizuo up?" Kanra asked quietly clutching at his top.

"Not yet. He's been through a lot. Lets let him sleep." The phone rang again and as much as he wanted to crush the device beneath his foot he couldn't. For a start the blond wouldn't take kindly to him taking control. "Why don't we order room service?" The raven smiled opting instead to turn the phone off and picking up the menu.

"Good idea. I'll order Shizuo all of the sweet things." Kanra smiled softly eyes flickering over the menu. "They don't have any tuna." She noted seeing the sour look on Izaya's face.

"I know what I'm putting in the suggestion box." Izaya muttered darkly. "This room is linked to Kasuka's bank card which Shizu-chan is currently in charge of. Ah. Why don't you order?" Letting Kanra take over, Izaya answered his own phone. "Shinra. Is Kasuka-kun okay?" He already knew that when the protozoan woke up he would try rushing off.

_He's going through withdrawal. Its bad Izaya. If Shizuo is-_

"Shizu-chan is my- our responsibility. You're the doctor get Kasuka-kun back on his feet." Izaya spoke quietly stepping back to see the blond still fast asleep.

_...There is something else. Last night when my beloved Celty took Anri-chan home, someone attacked them. _

Taking in the new information, Izaya squeezed the bridge of his nose glancing over to where Kanra was happily ordering a mountain of food for the three of them. "Any injuries?"

_Celty is fine. Anri-chan is resting in one of the beds. She has a few rough grazes but nothing that won't heal. _Shinra explained.

"A warning then." Izaya concluded leaning against the back of the sofa. "Keep me updated on Kasuka-kun. I don't want to be the one to stop him when the brute's seriously pissed off."

_Haha. I don't think we've seen the worst of Shizuo's anger. _Izaya nodded in agreement. He knew how much effort his lover put into holding himself in control. Even now he wasn't sure if the blond had ever been fully relaxed with him. No matter how many sides he saw of his lover, there was still something he had missed, still something new to surprise him.

It was the same with Kanra. "Good bye, Shinra." Hanging up the phone he could see the blond still asleep and his other lover talking animately on the phone.

"The strawberry cheese cake, three slices please. Two fresh cream doughnuts with extra cream and two large glasses of milk. I think that's it. Thank you." Izaya raised a brow seeing numbers and ticks next to everything on the dessert menu. "Do you think that's enough?" Kanra asked hanging up the phone.

"I think that's plenty enough. You're spoiling him." Kanra hung her head low.

"We missed it completely. I didn't realise anything. I failed as an informant. How am I supposed to uncover everyone's secrets when I can't figure out Shizuo's?" Izaya sighed bringing the younger raven into his arms.

"Everyone has secrets, Kanra. I have secrets, Shizu-chan has secrets, you have the biggest secrets. But those secrets are necessary, they keep us safe. Do you understand?" His fingers slid through Kanra's hair placing a soft kiss against her forehead.

"...yeah. I'd prefer it if you would tell me the truth though, even if it hurts."

"Shinra called. Kasuka-kun is the same. Someone attacked Celty and Anri-chan. Both of them are fine." He added seeing the look of panic on Kanra's face.

"G-good. I-" Kanra shook her head clenching her fists. "We should stick together."

"What's going on?" Both of them looked over at the now awake blond standing at the door. "Where's my phone? Is Kasuka okay?"

"He's the same as you last left him, Shizu-chan. Shinra will take good care of him." Izaya sighed warily watching his lover.

"What time is it? Is that daylight?" Where as Izaya was careful, Kanra blew caution to the wind running into her lover's arms. "You said you would wake me."

"Shizu-chan, you needed to rest."

"Like hell I -" Coffee eyes widened slim arms wrapping around him. "Kanra?"

"I ordered room service. Please don't rush off." Izaya relaxed seeing the tension release from his lover's shoulders.

"...I suppose." Shizuo ruffled Kanra's hair a soft smile on his lips. "Sorry for worrying you." The blond stretched hearing his bones crack. He had to admit he did feel rested. Seeing Izaya flinch made him force down the monster inside, ruffling his hair too.

"Oi. I'm not Kanra, protozoan."

"I know, flea. You looked afraid." Izaya averted his gaze biting his lip.

"T-that's n...Kasuka is the most important person to you. I was expecting you to tear anyone in your way apart."

"Idiot. You three are the most important people to me. Kasuka is in...safe hands. I don't want to let the two of you out of my sight." His cheeks darkened not believing that he was being so honest about his feelings.

"Hehe. I never expected you to be so soppy, Shizu-chan. I suppose we're all on the same page now. Kasuka is safe with Shinra and Celty. Anri-chan is with them. Shiki-san will be looking out for Kanra. Kasuka-kun's manager will be searching for you and I still have this stupid decoy gun to look for."

Shizuo and Kanra nodded in agreement understanding the situation. "Never a dull moment." Izaya sighed dropping back on the sofa. "Somehow this is less amusing than I thought it would be. We're caught up in everything this time."

"Shiki-san is after us, right? We're all together." Kanra smiled clasping their hands together. "Can we forget everything for at least a few hours?" As if to proof her point someone knocked loudly on the door.

"Room service." Hopping away from her lovers Kanra found herself skipping to the door. Reaching to open it, another hand rested on top.

"You can never be too careful." The raven breathed against her ear.

A trolley with a large tray on top was wheeled into the room. Shizuo glanced at it picking it up with ease. "Thanks." He grunted waving the young man away. The door closed all three of them sighing in relief. "How much did you order?" His eyes widened seeing the spread on the tray, taste buds watering at the sight.

Next to him Izaya grimaced reaching for the mug of coffee. Kanra licked her lips picking up the glass of fresh orange juice and a slice of cheese cake. Which meant... The rest was for him? Usually Izaya was on his case trying to get him to cut down on the sweets and cakes.

"I can't eat all of this." Shizuo groaned reaching for one of the glasses of milk.

"Then leave it. It's on your baby brother's card anyway." Izaya smirked taking a sip of his coffee. "This place needs a decent coffee machine. How much do they charge a day here?"

"More than I earn with Tom." The blond admitted. "I still haven't said anything to him. What if-" The three of them glanced at each other the same thought passing through their minds. It was Izaya that finally broke the silence.

"Tom-san will be fine. He's your employer. If they were making everyone we knew a target then you can add Simon to the list. I think everyone is safe for now. Eat up protozoan, I can smell the sweetness from here." Shizuo grinned savouring the fresh cream doughnut. Leaning forward a hand pushed him away. "You know I don't like kissing you when you taste like artificial flavourings."

"Better than nicotine though, right?" Izaya glared at him, whilst Kanra drank her orange juice, mirth in her eyes seeing the problems in their lives pushed under the surface for even a moment.

"...I suppose. Both are horrible habits you should stop. Don't you think so, Kanra?"

"I like Shizuo's kisses." She blushed squeezing the glass.

"See, flea. Your kisses taste like tuna and coffee. You know I don't like bitter stuff." Shizuo complained trying to decide what to eat next.

"Tch. You never complain when we're kissing." Izaya retorted.

"That's because-"

"Because you balance each other out." Kanra chimed in. "The bath here is big." She added hinting the next way they should spend their time together.

Izaya grinned leaning back. "Why don't you go and run the bath? Unless Shizu-chan wants to stay here and stuff his face?" The informant teased.

"Every time I hear about some poor kid suffering from an eating disorder, I think its your fault." Shizuo muttered licking his lips.

"Aw, I love that you think of me, Shizu-chan. Not everything is my fault you know."

"No. Just most of it. Nothing you do surprises me any more." Izaya gasped bringing a hand to his lips.

"Eh? You wound me." The raven hid a smile. "Not even when I put Kanra in a dress and almost made her my wife? Or did you wish you were the one in the dress?" Shizuo choked on his second glass of milk wiping at his lips. "Haha. You look surprised."

"Damn flea. No, you're more like a cockroach."

"Ouch. You know they can survive anything. They won't die even if you step on them."

"Exactly. So make sure you don't get hurt, idiot." Without another word the blond stood putting down his empty glass on the tray going into the bathroom to check on Kanra.

"Hah? Sh-Shizu-chan?"

x-x-x

"This is nice." Kanra smiled slowly lowering herself into the water between her two lovers. The bath was big enough to accommodate all three of them with ease. Even so she moved back encased in Shizuo's strong protective arms. Who knew when the next time they would have to relax together would be. "Crap." Tugging the wig free Mikado groaned feeling the damp ends.

"It will dry." Izaya reassured arms crossed resting his head on the side of the bath. "Your hair is all flat." Reaching out the informant ruffled the short raven locks bringing life back into it. "You must be tired of all of this. I'm sorry."

"Flea, are you drunk?" Both of them looked at him wide eyed.

"Drunk on what? I'm taking notice of my lovers. Shizu-chan, your roots are starting to show. From now on if you have any problems, tell me first."

"...Flea, are you being...nice?" Shizuo reached out placing his palm against the raven's forehead. "Your temperature is normal." Mikado laughed cheerfully looping his arms around the two of them.

"Mikado-kun, you understand me, don't you? I'm always nice." Mikado covered a laugh placing a kiss on Izaya's cheek.

"Where's mine?" Shizuo growled low harmlessly. Mikado kissed him too.

"So spoiled. Did anyone bring any clothes?" Izaya asked.

"I have my model clothes here. They'll drown a shorty like you." Izaya smirked splashing water over his lover.

"Sometimes, Shizu-chan I think you forget who the seme is in this relationship." Shizuo growled splashing him back. Mikado smiled moving back out of the way so he didn't get splashed.

"Maybe I just don't want to break your scrawny ass." The blond defended moving back out of the way to avoid being splashed again. Izaya moved forward pouncing on them sending them both under. Mops of blond and raven hair rose from the water, both of them coughing and spluttering. With one hand Shizuo pushed the flea under brushing the wet hair from his eyes. Not one of them let their problems or negative feelings rise to the surface buried beneath their feelings for each other.


	9. Back to trouble

**Back to trouble**

Shizuo opened his eyes quietly slipping from the bed. Grabbing his clothes he quickly got dressed silently leaving the room. They had taken their break and now it was back to him pretending to be his movie star brother. "You're going then, Shizu-chan?" Damn. He should have known Izaya would be awake.

"Yeah. The longer I leave it the more Kasuka's career will be in danger. If you need me call."

"You haven't learnt anything, have you? This isn't just about you protozoan. You are a target." He knew the flea was right but then again that was what he wanted. "Think about it Shizu-chan."

"I have to go, flea. Take care of Kanra...and yourself." With that he hurried away taking the stairs. Once he was down the first flight, the blond looked back seeing if his lover had followed him. The coast was clear. Izaya would have gone back to protecting Kanra, the most vulnerable one out of the three of them.

As for him he would be perfectly fine with his strength. He would continue to act in the place of his recovering brother and when he found the culprit they would pay dearly for their mistake. The temptation to go straight to Shinra's to see his brother's progress was strong. Instead he had his phone in his hand already calling back Kasuka's manager who was none too happy about his vanishing act.

_You're late. Do you care about your brother's career?_

"There was an emergency."

_They'll be an emergency here if you don't hurry up. _Shizuo hated him. He hated being told what to do and damn he would like nothing better to do than shut the big mouth up. _I'm parked outside the hotel. Get a move on. _The line went dead leaving him to make his way back to the hotel he was supposed to be staying in.

x-x-x

Kanra blinked stretching in the bed. Her eyes snapped open seeing that she was alone. "Shizuo? Izaya?" Hopping out of bed, the raven fixed her hair reaching for the clothes at the end of the bed. Her curiosity was peeked seeing female clothes instead of Kasuka's old modelling clothes that her lover had said they could wear.

Quickly pulling on the skirt and blouse, Kanra left the room seeing Izaya on the sofa. "Good morning, Kanra. Just in time room service came a few minutes ago." The raven was already awake? Then that must mean he was the one that went out to get her some proper clothes.

"Where is Shizuo?" She asked sitting down and lifting the tray.

"Gone. He went back to impersonating Kasuka-kun. Its just us for now. What do you want to do?" Shizuo was already gone, without saying goodbye?

"I'm going to see Celty-san and Sonohara-san." She was worried about the two of them and she knew Izaya wanted to check on them too. After what had happened and knowing they were all targets, Kanra was anxious that Shizuo was out there on his own, even if he was bigger built and stronger than them.

"Good idea, We'll check up on Kasuka-kun while we're there." Izaya smiled though it didn't meet his eyes. The informant was worried and that wasn't a good thing. She knew by now that her lover didn't like not knowing what was going on. Sometimes it could be a challenge but this time they were directly involved.

x-x-x

Shinra let them both in before hurrying back to Celty. The dullahan looked perfectly fine even as the illegal doctor got in her way fussing over her. Closing her eyes Kanra heard the inevitable punch from the irritated woman. "Ooh." Opening her eyes she watched the love sick raven clutch his ribs as he doubled over a strained smile on his face. "What did I do to deserve that, my beloved?"

Shinra was promptly ignored, Kanra finding herself in a hug. _Are you okay? Izaya told me what happened. I can't forgive anyone that tries to hurt you three. _

"I'm okay, Celty-san. Is Sonohara-san okay?" She asked watching as Izaya drifted off with Shinra.

_She got off lightly. We've decided to keep her here until we know its over. _Meaning Celty had decided and told Shinra what would be happening. A puff of smoke made itself known showing how angry the dullahan was. _This is my fault. I should have been on my guard. _

"There was nothing you could do. Thank you for protecting her." Kanra smiled following after his friend. He was taken to the guest room which would now be Anri's room. Knocking gently on the door he waited for permission to enter.

"Come in." A soft voice responded. Opening the door Kanra stood shocked seeing her friend sitting up in the bed, bandages wrapped around the length of both of her arms and neck, a padded patch on her right cheek and stitches over her left eye. Light grazes? As if. She couldn't see beneath the blanket but Anri's legs were probably bandaged. Hurrying to Anri's bedside she took a seat on the bed. "Kanra-chan." The raven reached for her glasses. Kanra could tell she was in pain.

"I'm sorry." Taking her hand Kanra bowed her head. "This is because of me. I'm so sorry." Anri squeezed her hand back a sad smile on her face.

"Its not because of you. It was bad luck. I'm stronger now thanks to the two of you." Kanra sighed miserably. For a girl's face to be injured... "Kanra-chan, its not your fault. I'm happy you could visit me. I didn't break anything and these will heal." It didn't make her feel any better. "Promise me you'll be careful. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"I-I promise. I'll be careful."

"Thank you. Could you maybe pick up some of my clothes from my apartment?" Anri asked quietly a faint blush on her cheeks.

"Why don't you borrow some of m-" Kanra cut herself off looking down at her flat chest to Anri's voluptuous one. "Uh...sure. I'll drop by." She didn't need to ask why Celty hadn't already offered. It was clear that Shinra would be more protective now that he knew someone was out to get them. "I'll go and get them. I'll be back soon."

Leaving the room Kanra saw Izaya leaving the other one face tense. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah. I'm going to pick some clothes up for Sonohara-san. I should be okay on my own." Izaya nodded and she knew it would be difficult to find some time alone by herself to vent.

x-x-x

"You're late." Kasuka's manager muttered standing stern. "Your next modelling shoot is in less than five minutes. Do you know what this is doing to your brother's reputation?" Shizuo said nothing his fists clenched as the man scolded him. "I want you in make-up now." The blond slouched slightly trying to make himself look shorter as he walked into the make up room taking a seat. Glaring at himself in the mirror, Shizuo reached for his wig fixing it over his dyed locks. Maybe it would be been better to remove his bleached colour rather than rely on a wig that might blow his cover.

Making sure every spot of blond was covered Shizuo sat back waiting for the make-up artist to enter the room. "Change of plan." The manager was back in the room holding something in his hand. "Its too late." The blond gasped as the newspaper was slapped down in front of him.

_Popular actor caught doing drugs. _

_Yuuhei Hanejima, the number one actor in Japan was recently caught doing drugs. Reporters have found that several movie offers have been turned down. Is this because his schedule is so busy or because he's gone down a dark more self destructive route? _

"Fuck!" Shizuo glared at the photo of his brother holding the offending package. Grabbing the news paper he tore it in half and then quarters letting the confetti spill all over the floor. It was all over. Kasuka's reputation had been tarnished. It was all over.

"This shoot is cancelled. Your brother's antics will be all over the media. Go back while I try and get out of this." Shizuo slammed his fist into the table storming from the room. "Take off the wig." The blond ignored his brother's manager walking away. Pulling up the hood on his sweatshirt the blond pulled it down low.

He wasn't sure how the media had gotten a hold of his brother's schedule but they were outside the studio spread out like vultures holding their camera's and microphones. Walking straight past the windows, Shizuo headed for the back exit where it was all clear. After all who would think that a top class actor would walk through a filthy alley? Lengthening his strides he quickly walked away knowing he had failed in protecting Kasuka's reputation.

"Yuuhei Hanejima." The blond stopped keeping his head low. In front of him was a group of three men, the tattoos and bad attitudes were a sign that he wasn't dealing with the press. "We were doing our usual rounds and wondered if you would want another fix? Same price as usual. Unless you want something harder?"

Shizuo froze absorbing the conversation. This was it. Right in front of him were the scum bags that had dragged his baby brother down the wrong path. "You want to supply me drugs?" Mocking chuckles met his ears.

"Woah man, it looks like the previous batch messed with your head. Why don't you come with us? I'm sure we can find something more appropriate for you." The three of them turned away and Shizuo followed.

x-x-x

Izaya stuck like glue to his younger lover as she picked out clothes for the injured raven. For now the one most at risk was Kanra, he had to keep her safe from Shiki and any other threats. A ping sounded his phone showing the latest news. "Shit. This is bad." There as the first article was the revelation of Yuuhei Hanejima taking drugs.

"Izaya?" Closing the page he quickly dialled the blond's number knowing how the press would react. Kasuka's every move would be on record from now on. The protozoan was still posing as the actor meaning he would be the one in the spot light. The phone kept ringing before switching to voice mail.

"Don't do anything stupid, Shizu-chan. Kanra, we need to go." His lover nodded quickly piling clothes into the bag. "Now is not the time to blush over your friend's underwear."

"I-I'm not." Kanra blushed not paying attention to the lace that brushed her hand. "Is Shizuo in trouble?" Izaya scrolled through the latest news. The press were outside of the modelling studio. "Izaya? Is Shizuo in trouble?" There was no problems with the media. The problem was the chat room sightings.

"I think Shizu-chan might have found Kasuka-kun's dealers." It was the worst case scenario especially since his lover was angry and an angry protozoan was dangerous. "We need to find him before he hurts them or worse." Otherwise he was going have to pay a large amount for bail.

x-x-x

"Thanks." Anri smiled taking the bag. "This should be enough for a while." Izaya watched the pair of them. Kanra was still full of guilt over her friend being hurt and Anri... well she was happy enough but hiding something and that was probably something she had seen when she had been attacked.

"Its no problem. If you need anything else let me know." His lover was ready to go already saying goodbye.

"See you soon, Kanra-chan. Orihara-san, can I talk to you?" Izaya raised a brow sharing a glance with the teen. Stepping out of the way the informant let Kanra pass by. Slipping into the room he closed the door so it was just him and Anri. "Thank you. I didn't want to let Kanra-chan know."

Izaya nodded slipping his hands into his pocket and taking a seat on the bed. "You wanted to talk about the attack?"

"Yes. I-"

"It must have been scary being confronted by yakuza like that. Celty-san will protect you so they don't try anything." Anri was shaking her head, her eyes tearing up.

"Y-you don't understand." The teen sobbed clutching at his sleeve. "It wasn't yakuza that attacked us." Izaya had a bad feeling. "...It was Kida-kun."


	10. Choices you make

**Choices you make**

Izaya blinked taken aback. The teen couldn't have said what she had. The one after them was Shiki. The yakuza was the one that wanted Kanra's services and the girl herself. As leverage they had been indirectly threatened. "What was that, Anri-chan?" He asked quietly. He knew everyone in Ikebukuro, those who were currently in the city and those who were not. There had been no indication of Kida's return.

There had been no sign of the blond teen since their altercation the last time he was in Ikebukuro. The head of the yellow scarves had been left out of Mikado's faked death. In revenge he had set the apartment building on fire expecting all three of them to burn suffering a hot fiery death. It had almost gone that way.

Back then the protozoan had played the hero trying to rescue everyone. The result was being trapped under broken stairs. If not for Kanra's faith in him and the training the pair had made her go through things could have ended up very differently. It was thanks to them all working together and the dullahan's timing that they had all survived and got out safely.

Of course he had been more than a little angry at the culprit, hinting that the vengeful blond had actually tried to kill the one he was trying to revenge. Kida had left knowing that he had tried to end the life of his best friend. That should have been the last he saw of both Kida and Saki. Yet here was Anri denying Shiki's involvement.

"I- I said it was Kida-kun." The teen repeated quietly. "He's changed. His eyes were so cold. I think he's back for Mikado-kun." Izaya groaned running a hand through his hair. Shizuo, Shiki and now Kida. Their problems continued increasing. "W-what are you going to do?"

"That is none of your concern, Anri-chan. Don't repeat any of what you just said." Getting up to leave trembling fingers locked around his wrist.

"Did Kida-kun really want to hurt me?" Izaya couldn't answer. The number of threats had increased to three. For now he needed to track down a certain livid blond. "Please protect him." The raven waved her away leaving the room. Celty and Shinra were waiting outside for him.

"Kanra-chan!" Izaya called loudly knowing exactly where his lover had gone. There was no response but then again he didn't expect one. Kanra had sneaked into the unstable actor's room. With a sigh he moved close to the door seeing the actor sitting in the corner of the room a shell of his former self.

"Kasuka-san, the ones that sold you the drugs, do you know who they were?" Clever girl. The informant was impressed that Kanra wasn't panicking. Her jaw was set firm, eyes focused on the broken actor. Kasuka began to tremble curling in on himself and he knew time was up. Stepping into the room Izaya pinned the younger Heiwajima to the wall with his knife.

"Kasuka-kun, I'm afraid your brother has already met with your dealer. I need to know exactly what happened so I can find them." Empty eyes blinked staring back at him like a dead fish. "I know you understand me. Shizu-chan is angry that his little brother was dragged down the wrong path. Do you know what he'll do to them?"

"...Y-yes. It was a te-" Izaya pressed the blade down silencing the actor.

"Kanra, can you make me a coffee?" He kept his voice even and calm. It wasn't good for his lover to be in the room especially when he already knew who the culprit was in the first place.

"I-I want to stay here."

"No! Leave the room." A long pause filled the room before Kanra stood.

"Yes, Izaya-nii." In three quick steps the door slammed shut. Now both his lovers were angry. Turning back to the actor he took the blade away.

"Now tell me." Taking a step back Kasuka shuddered slumping against the wall. Taking pity on the human Izaya guided him over to the bed. "I should warn you that your condition has been exposed. Shizu-chan had been doing his best as your substitute. This morning the media showed their findings."

"...I failed. I didn't mean to be like this. A few months ago, it was after the second from last scene to my latest movie. I went back to my trailer. There was this teenage girl waiting in there for me, I thought she was a fan." Izaya knew that could only be Saki. "She had a taser gun in her hand and kept poking me with it. I was twitching on the floor when the door opened again. There was another teenager. This one was a blond haired boy, his eyes were so cold. He told me that I was necessary for the cracks to show."

Izaya held up one hand silencing the actor. The door opened Kanra standing in the doorway holding a tray of drinks. "Kanra, I'm almost done here." The teen ignored him carrying the tray closer. Kasuka was staring into space biting at his already bloodied nails. "Kasuka-kun, you were saying? Kasuka-kun!" Izaya barked startling the man.

"I-I...He gave me these little pink pills. The first one I was forced to swallow. I didn't know that he had put the packet in my pocket." The actor finished dropping his head.

"You got addicted." The informant summarised checking his phone. Dialling the blond's number he waited until once again it went straight to voice mail.

"I didn't mean to." Izaya waved him away. He wasn't a doctor, it wasn't his job to fix the fallen actor. "...Nii-san?" Leaving his drink where it was Izaya quickly left the room with Kanra in tow. For now the disguised male didn't need to be aware her best friend was back.

x-x-x

The door slammed shut, Shizuo finding himself in a small cluttered room. There were another two men and a woman lounging lazily over the chairs. On the table were several packets. These were the bastards that had harmed his brother. "Choose what you like. I recommend this one." Shaking his head Shizuo stepped towards the table fist clenched.

They hadn't realised that they had the wrong person but they did now. Tugging back his hood and tearing off the wig, the blond stood angrier than he had ever been. It was one thing to hurt him but to hurt his little brother? Unforgivable. "H-Heiwajima Shizuo?" The woman asked voice shaking. One by one they realized exactly who they had messed with.

The powdered packages went flying across the room as his fist went straight through the flimsy wood. "Yuuhei Hanejima. Which one of you sold it to him?" As expected half of them tried to run and the other half charged at him. Shizuo stopped them with ease. The first slammed into the sofa, the second hit the wall and the third he released quickly seeing a wet patch at the front of his pants.

Planting himself in front of the door the blond growled as the smarter two jumped through the window running out onto the street. Shizuo gave chase ripping the door from its hinges. Pausing momentarily he could feel his phone vibrating. It wasn't the first time. Reaching into his pocket he saw the flea's name flash up onto the screen.

One, two, four, seven missed calls and a voice mail. Shaking his head the blond dropped his phone back into his pocket before he broke it. Izaya would be fine without him. His phone kept ringing over and over. Taking a deep breath Shizuo answered the phone. "What?" He growled angrily.

A nervous chuckle sounded on the other end of the phone. _You sound angry, Shizu-chan. How is the model shoot going? _

"You mean you haven't heard?" Unclenching his fist Shizuo leaned back against the wall. "The press know. Is there something wrong with Kanra?"

_No. She's with me. I heard. Its all over the media. Where are you now? I know who threatened those we care about. _Shizuo growled remembering the dealers.

"So do I. I have to go." Going to end the call he heard the raven shout.

_Shizu-chan, don't do anything stupid. Go back to Shinra's and see your brother. Leave this to us. _Shizuo clenched his fist again slamming it against the brick wall.

"Stay out of this flea." Hanging up the phone Shizuo roared hurrying after his quarry.

x-x-x

Kanra watched her lover talking quickly into the phone, Izaya had finally managed to get through to Shizuo. It didn't sound like a good conversation. The call ended as quickly as it had begun. "Shizu-chan? Stupid protozoan." It looked like it hadn't gone well.

"Izaya? Where is Shizuo?" The informant glanced up shaking his head.

"About five minutes from tracking down Kasuka's drug dealers and landing them in hospital or worse. Lets go." The two of them were already on the look out for the blond. Exiting the café Kanra stepped back watching as a car flew through the air flipping over as it hit the ground and scraping across the road.

"Found him." Kanra murmured pointing at the wreckage. The roof of the car had been cut off cleanly leaving it a crumpled shell. The crowd screamed running out of the way, while she hurried in the direction the destruction had come from. "This way." A thick sign post came careening towards them. Izaya pulled her out of harms way.

"It will be a surprise if Ikebukuro is still standing after this. Are you sure you don't want to wait at home?" Kanra glared at him hand on her hip. Zipping forward the raven crashed into someone that hadn't moved out of the way. "Kanra, watch where-" Her lover trailed off staring past her. Curious Kanra looked up apologizing for bumping into...oh no.

"That's all right dear." Kanra recoiled feeling her heart pound violently from panic, surprise and happiness. The two adults were painfully familiar though she had no idea why they would be in Ikebukuro. There was nothing here for them any more. "Such a mess, all these flying objects, its a wonder no one gets hurt." Taking a step back she grabbed Izaya's hand squeezing hard. The man and woman were staring at her. Somehow the Ryuugamines were in the city. Their son was long dead crushed under the weight of jealousy and power hungry gangs.

Mikado's parents had been left in the dark about his faked death. The man looked as if he had aged ten years, the woman looked dangerously fragile, neither one of them were smiling. Not trusting herself to speak Kanra relied on Izaya to guide her through the mine field. Although he looked as surprised as she did.

"Kanra, come on. We have something urgent to attend to." Slowly she took a step to the side before walking briskly on ahead. "Why would your parents be here?" Izaya asked quietly most likely talking to himself and not her. Glancing behind her she could still see the pair walking slowly in the opposite direction, an empty space between them.

That was Mikado's place. Right there between them. "They didn't recognize me." Kanra mumbled quietly. "My parents didn't recognize me." A hand rested on her shoulder in comfort. Shaking her head she stepped into her lover's arms accepting his embrace.

"Of course not. They went to your funeral. I don't know why they're here yet. Do they know anyone else in Ikebukuro?" Kanra slumped wrapping her arms around the raven's waist.

"...No. The only one they would have known is Masaomi." She could feel the raven tense before relaxing again. "Do you think Masaomi still hates me and sent them? I can't face them. I'm going to go home after all." Pulling out of the raven's arms Kanra rubbed at her eyes.

"Be careful. Go straight home. No, wait in the café for Celty or call a cab. I'm going after Shizu-chan." Kanra nodded turning away. She could hear Izaya's footsteps as he ran in the opposite direction. Taking out her phone she called Shizuo.

A smile touched her lips in relief when she got through on the first try. _Kanra? Did something happen? _Her lover sounded calm and relaxed despite being angry.

"I need you. My- Mikado's parents turned up."

_Where's the flea? Never mind where are you? _Kanra looked around giving up her location. _I...I'll be there soon. Sit tight and stay out of sight. _Izaya hadn't been able to stop the blond but she had. Ending the call the raven held the phone to her chest. Shizuo was coming.


	11. Friend or foe

**Friend or foe**

_A/N:- Ah its been a while on this one. Here's the next chapter. Enjoy. _

Kanra smiled leaning against the wall hugging the phone to her breast. Shizuo was on his way. After Shizuo Izaya would arrive, the three of them together again. That was when she felt safest. Taking a step forward the teen jumped feeling a hand cover her eyes. Too small to be Shizuo's and too rough to be Izaya's. "Guess who."

An icy chill ran down her spine remembering the last time she had heard that voice. The happy tone with a joking edge and the bad jokes. It was because of her that his voice had become so cold and bitter. Vengeance had changed the teen in the worst way possible. The only thing Kanra could recall was the heat under her feet, those rough hands crushing her throat and the hatred that both her lovers held over losing their home and almost their lives.

"...Masaomi-kun." It was thanks to Shizuo's strength that she had survived and it was down to being with Izaya that she had survived. Fire was a deep fear that froze her movements. It was Kida that had set the apartment block on fire in a last ditch attempt to get revenge before vanishing with his girlfriend.

Soft laughter tickled against her ear. "I'm glad you remember me. We need to talk." Glancing around she could see there was no sign of Shizuo yet. "Mikado. I'm glad you're still alive." Kanra gasped making sure the blond hadn't been heard. Her true identity was a secret. Taking his hand she pulled him away from any people. Yet she still kept close to the area for when Shizuo showed up.

"Please don't say that aloud." She begged. There was already enough trouble without any lingering gang members discovering who she was. Kida smiled apologetically.

"Ah, I see. Kanra-chan it is then. Your disguise is a little too good. I didn't realise who you were until it was almost too late. I'm sorry." Kanra said nothing unsure on if she should forgive and forget. It didn't matter if Kida didn't realise her true identity. It didn't change the fact that he had tried to kill not just the three of them but anyone else that was in the building at the time. "When that bastard hinted at who you were. I-I never wanted to hurt you. I'm really glad you're okay."

He looked sincere. Kanra squinted taking in every detail. The blond looked like he was going to cry, one eye twitching. "I should have told you. You were my friend, I should have told you."

"No, you had your reasons. I know you can never forgive me for what I've done but I wanted to see you to apologize." Reaching over Kanra took Kida's hand.

"We've all done things we regret. Its why I'm stuck like this in the first place." Although grateful to Izaya, she didn't want to look like his twin any more. "Thank you, Masaomi. Thanks for trying to get revenge for me. I guess Izaya and Shizuo won't see things that way though. If you're staying in Ikebukuro then make sure to keep out of their way. They can be a little...overprotective."

The blond chuckled leaning forward. "Look at you with the two strongest wrapped around your little finger. What happened to my meek best friend?" Kanra smiled sadly.

"He died. Ah. Shizuo. I have to go." Rushing towards her lover was, Kanra blinked her wrist caught. "Masaomi?"

"Can I still see you? I mean not around those two obviously. We're still friends, right?" He looked like a kicked puppy, shoulders hunched, lip pouting. Kanra smiled pulling her wrist free.

"Yeah, we can still be friends. I have to go. See you later."

"Count on it." With her wrist free, Kanra ran skirting through the crowd only to slam into a broad chest, warm arms enclosing around her. Shizuo. Shizuo was here and everything was going to be all right.

"You're here." The raven smiled.

"You called. Is everything okay?" The blond asked voice full of concern. "Where the hell is the flea? Why did he leave you alone?"

"He went to stop you. Mikado's parents are in Ikebukuro."

"Damn it. Interfering flea. I said I would handle it." His lover growled. Kanra smiled rubbing Shizuo's arms. She could feel the slight tremor running through them. "He shouldn't have left you alone."

"Izaya told me to wait for Celty or call a cab. I was the one that was wandering around. Shizuo, take me home?" Kanra blushed finding the ground gone beneath her feet. Strong arms held her like a princess. "I can walk." She mumbled cheeks turning scarlet.

"I know you can. Put up with it for a little while." Brushing her hair behind her ear, Kanra closed her eyes letting her lover carry her from the crowd and back to their shared home. "Kanra. Thanks for calling me."

"Izaya called you first. He was worried about you."

"Tch. Old habits I guess. Izaya can't always stop me. You did." Opening her eyes Kanra looked up seeing that the blond was looking straight ahead averting his gaze from her. A small smile formed on her lips, fingers squeezing tighter in Shizuo's shirt.

"I needed you and you came. I should be thanking you. Still you have a dangerous man after you. That idiot shouldn't have left you alone." Shizuo shook his head still not looking at her. "You should call Izaya. Let him know where we are."

"Aren't you going to do it?" Kanra asked quietly averting her own gaze in embarrassment seeing what a public display of affection they were making. Shizuo stopped feeling a hand on his hip. Kanra's hand dipped into his pocket rummaging around for his phone.

"Kanra." The fortissimo breathed in warning. "Watch where you're touching."

"Ah. S-sorry. I was trying to get your phone. Ah got it." The raven proudly held up his phone flicking it open. "Izaya is on speed dial, right?"

"Third." Shizuo confirmed. Kanra nodded pressing the specified key thinking who came before Izaya in importance according to the blond. The first one was obviously Kasuka, then the second one...it couldn't be her. The thought of being before Izaya in his heart made her heart swell in happiness. Of course all three of them loved each other or else they wouldn't be in such a situation. Still the fact that Shizuo loved her more than Izaya made her skin feel tingly.

_Shizu-chan. About time. Tell me you haven't done anything stupider than usual. _

"Izaya its me. Shizuo is taking me home." There was a long drawn out pause on the other line.

_Kanra? I told you not to move from that spot._

"I didn't. I called Shizuo and asked him to come and get me." Well not quite asked. Desperately begged in a needy voice. There was another long pause. Had she said something wrong?

_You asked him and he just dropped everything and came back? _Kanra flinched hearing the slither of ice in her lover's voice.

"Yeah."

_I see. I'm on my way back. _The call cut leaving Kanra staring blankly at the phone. What was it that she had done wrong? She was allowed to be dependant on the pair of them, so why had Izaya sounded so bitter?

"Something wrong?" Shizuo asked slowing his steps. Kanra blinked looking at the phone then back up at Shizuo. It couldn't be, could it? "Kanra? Everything okay? What did the flea have to say?" Now that she thought about it, Izaya could've been jealous. The informant had called Shizuo and failed to get through to him resorting in going to physically find him. Whilst she had uttered a few words and here the blond was by her side.

"He'll meet us at home." Kanra didn't say anything else not knowing what Izaya's reaction would be to seeing the both of them together. "You can let me down now." Shizuo's lips twitched upwards. "Fine." Being carried didn't feel too bad. Her lover was gentle keeping his steps even so she wasn't jostled around too much. "Shizuo."

"Hm?" The blond asked not really paying attention. Kanra could see his mind was on other things and that scared her. What would happen when she was safe at home? Where would the vengeful fortissimo rush off to?

"No nothing." Maybe it was a fluke. Maybe it wouldn't work twice. Then there was Celty getting hurt. Had Izaya shared that information or left him in the dark? Kanra kept her mouth closed not wanting to set her lover's anger off. For now it was better that the two of them go home to relax.

"Hn. Do you want to stop off for something to eat?"

"No. I'm okay. Unless you want to eat." The raven smiled.

"No. Its fine."

x-x-x

The front door opened when they reached the top of the stairs. "Its about time." Izaya called leaning against the door frame. "Kanra-chan did you get tired of walking?" Pushing against Shizuo's chest Kanra flushed jumping down. "Shizu-chan, finished your little temper tantrum?" Behind him came a soft growl along with grated teeth.

What was Izaya doing? Shouldn't they be trying to pacify their lover? Not pushing his buttons and angering him further. Somehow it felt like Kanra was standing in the middle of an explosion waiting to happen. Slinking forward she quickly stepped out of the way and past Izaya. Leaving the two of them to sort out their differences the raven headed for the bedroom only to be stopped by a glare burning a hole in her back. The bedroom was out then.

Instead she hurried over to her desk loading up her computer. She didn't look hearing a crunch. It was obvious that the wall outside was damaged. There were some times when she knew instinctively not to get between Izaya and Shizuo. This time was one such case. Pulling open the drawer the raven took out her headphones plugging them into her ears.

As soon as the computer had loaded she opened up her playlist turning the volume up loud enough to block out the jibes and taunts. It couldn't be helped that she could still see them. The door slammed shut both of them in the apartment. She almost cried out seeing Izaya slammed against the wall but the sound died in her throat seeing that the raven had got his own back slashing himself free.

Kanra hugged her computer to stop it falling from the table. Izaya's desk wasn't so lucky, the computer sliding to the floor only to be caught in slim arms. Tugging out one of the headphones Kanra heard Izaya curse. "Damn it. Watch my computer."

"You started it. Don't get in my way." Shizuo snapped back. "What is your problem?" The computer was safely back on the desk but Izaya was on the floor rolling out of the way to dodge the blond's punch.

"Is that all you've got, Shizu-chan? I think you've gotten weaker." Catching Izaya's wink in her direction Kanra nodded putting the headphones back in. Now that she was back home she could see where Kida was living and just how long he had been back in Ikebukuro. From the corner of her eye she could see the bedroom door fall open, her lovers toppling though only for the door to close.

Whilst she could help Shizuo and give him warmth and comfort. Izaya was the one who could readily control the fortissimo. Kanra sighed feeling guilty for ever doubting the informant. If they left Shizuo alone his rage would become uncontrollable and continue to build up.

x-x-x

Twenty minutes had passed and his lovers had yet to emerge. Getting up from the desk Kanra walked to the bedroom door, placing an ear against the wood to listen in. It didn't take long before she was sitting back at her desk relieved that everything was okay. Izaya had subdued the fortissimo but things still weren't safe for her. When they were she had no doubt the door would open and she would be invited in. Neither one of them wanted to hurt her so when the two of them were playing rough she wasn't allowed in.

That didn't mean she felt isolated or excluded though. Her lovers more than enough made up for it with how much time they spent drawing out her pleasure. For now it was fine to leave them alone. Kanra smiled clicking the mouse, watching as her message flashed up on the chat room. Kida had been easy to find and now that they were in contact there was no problem with her chatting to the blond without Izaya or Shizuo knowing what she was up to.

Hearing the door open Kanra looked up seeing Izaya's head poked around the door. "Kanra, are you coming?" The raven nodded closing down the evidence of what she had been doing before following Izaya into the bedroom.


	12. Frustrations

**Frustrations**

Frustrations were easy enough to deal with in their household. If one of them was feeling down or wound up the other two in the relationship would help dissolve the negative mood. That was the case now and from what Kanra could see Izaya had already done most of the work. Closing the bedroom door Kanra quickly joined the pair on the bed. Izaya looked smug whilst Shizuo looked a little dazed, weak from pleasure.

"Kanra's turn." Izaya sang arms grabbing around her waist. Kanra rested back against the older raven's chest. It was warm. It was comforting and easy to forget everything. Working on her clothes her hand was lightly smacked away. "I didn't say to get undressed. You've been a bad girl today." Izaya whispered in her ear. Ah! The informant was still sore about Shizuo coming to help her.

"Iz-ah!" One of the raven's hands clapped over her mouth stopping her cries, the other slipped under the hem of her jumper squeezing her bra. Kanra blushed a light weight falling into her lap. The bra padding sat useless in her lap. "St-ah!" The raven gasped Izaya nibbling the top of her right ear. Both hands were under her bra, expert fingers taking her perky nipples prisoner. Leaning forward her long hair flopped forward covering her reddened cheeks.

She had almost forgotten what it was like to be teased by Izaya. The man who was still known as her older brother to everyone but a select few. Izaya chuckled lightly tongue licking along the shell of her ear. "Nn." Kanra moaned moving her hand to cover her ear. Her wrist was caught in a strong grip that made sure not to hurt her. Raising her head she found herself staring into burning mocha orbs. "Shizuo."

"On your knees." Izaya rubbed her nubs between two fingers. With a small nod of acknowledgement Kanra balanced herself on her knees back arched under Izaya's ministrations. Her hands held up the hem of her jumper. Body trembling Kanra looked pleadingly at her other lover who at the moment seemed more satisfied in watching her.

Biting her lip Kanra could feel herself growing hard. The one part of her body that distinctly proved she was male. Her panties grew tighter making her regret going along with Izaya's decision to choose her clothes for her. The pink lacy panties she had been coaxed into wearing felt constricting adding to the sensations assaulting her nerves. "Ah! Shizuo. Shizuo." Leaning further forward her forehead rested on her lover's chest.

Gentle fingers ghosted along the outside of her thigh giving her something to focus on instead of everything Izaya was doing. If not she would be swept away by the raven. Kanra chewed her lower lip watching Shizuo's hand move over her skin along the inside of her thigh moving teasingly higher. "Are you ignoring me, Kanra?" Izaya asked with a teasing lilt.

Her left nipple was left neglected, Izaya's hand slipping out from underneath her jumper. Sly fingers drew small circles over her adam's apple coaxing her to lift her chin. Izaya's finger and thumb rested on her chin cupping her face. "Izaya. nn." Her vision was limited to their ceiling unable to see what either of her lover's were doing. "Ahn!" Kanra squeaked, Shizuo's hand vanishing under her skirt. Already she was about to explode.

Taking a moment to glance down she could see Shizuo had changed his position, kissing her belly free hand toying with the waist band of her skirt. Her ear had become Izaya's personal chew toy, though as usual the raven quickly grew bored with the area, sharp teeth grazing lightly against her throat. Kanra jolted Shizuo touching her arousal for the first time. She knew she was a mess, knew she wouldn't out last Shizuo or Izaya in the bedroom but she would damn well try. A challenge like any other she mused with a smile. Anyone else caught between the two strongest in Ikebukuro would have run a mile. Not her. She couldn't be happier being between the hot pair.

All three of them were frustrated. Sexually, physically and emotionally. This was the best way to solve the problem. Sometimes a kiss, a cuddle and a pat on the head saying everything would be okay didn't mean anything. In the morning her skin would be a reddish purple from Izaya's marks of possession.

Letting go of her jumper Kanra smirked. Dropping her hand behind her back she quickly found purchase in between Izaya's legs blindly kneading the swollen flesh hot in her hand. Her lover gave a brief gasp of surprise breathing against her neck. "What are you doing Kanra?"

"Too slow. Need you." Kanra panted spittle dripping down her chin. "Please don't tease." All movement stopped both of her lovers looking at each other. Kanra was given a brief reprieve to catch her breath waiting for her body to stop trembling. All too easily her lovers got her wound up building her up and up and up.

"You give up too easily, Kanra. Pleasure is a good thing. You like it when we make your body sing." Izaya lifted her skirt touching her panties. "Too much for you, hm?" Kanra reluctantly nodded slumped in Shizuo's arms. "Okay. We won't play so much. Where did I put the lube? Shizu-chan I didn't use it all on you did I?"

"You didn't use any on me, damn flea." Shizuo growled wrapping his arms lightly around her. "It will be in the drawer where it always is."

"Oh yeah. I didn't did I. Here it is. Shizu-chan, you can go first." Kanra smiled finally shrugging her panties off. The skirt she didn't mind as much. Resting all of her weight against the blond Kanra took the lube squeezing a generous amount onto her lover's fingers. "I'll wait my turn." She heard Shizuo growl something unintelligible but she knew the gist of what he wanted to say.

Kanra clutched tighter to the blond raising her hips, wet gel slicked fingers pressing inside her ass. "Ah. There. Please." Her hips bucked impatiently in her desire- no her need to be satisfied. It was Izaya's fault her body had become like this. Shizuo's larger hand held her still keeping her steady. Head flopping down on the blond's shoulder Kanra handed all control over to him.

X-x-x

"Why are you always carrying her?" Izaya grumbled watching the blond carrying an exhausted and weak kneed Kanra in his arms. It was a little irritating. Not that he wanted to be carried like that. No way he would rather cut himself with his own knife rather than be carried like a princess. If he went by the relationships of his humans then it could possibly be jealousy. Out of the three of them he should be loved the most yet Kanra and the brute had a rather more caring bond between them. When they looked at each other it was with warmth.

"Its called responsibility, flea. She took both of us. Its no surprise she's exhausted."

"Yeah, the monster lost control again. Let her rest. I need to check something." Izaya quickly left the room. He was supposed to be the most dominant in the relationship yet at times when it mattered the most it was only Kanra that could get the protozoan to see sense. A few words was it? He had chased after the blond trying to track him down to stop him from doing anything stupid. It seemed that was all they could do. Run and chase after each other.

In his arms the fortissimo would submit yet if Kanra wasn't in the picture he doubted there would be anything between them. With a sigh Izaya picked up his computer looking around the mess their latest tussle had created. He didn't turn around hearing the bedroom door close. "She's asleep. I'll help you tidy up."

"Yeah. You did most of the damage."

"Izaya? Something wrong?" The protozoan asked clueless as ever. Why was it the brute was only instinctive when something bad was around?

"Hm? I'm a little tired myself."

"I'm not surprised." the blond scoffed straightening up the table."Maybe you ought to slow down." Izaya paused glaring at his lover.

"Maybe Shizu-chan shouldn't make me go chasing after him every time he loses control." Izaya spat flexing his knife. "I suppose in future we could always let Kanra call you back like a dog."

"What are talking about? Are you sulking?" The blond asked seriously. Things could easily dissolve into another fight between the pair of them. "You were the one that left her alone. I can handle myself. I'm a monster, remember? I should call Shinra and see how Kasuka is doing." Izaya hurled one of his knives at the blond smirking when it was caught between the brute's teeth. "Feel better now?" The blade was spat out falling to the floor in pieces.

"A little." Izaya conceded taking a step closer. Izaya wrapped his hands around the blond's throat tugging him down. The sharp edge of the knife sat lightly against his lover's throat. "I want you to remember something protozoan. I met you first. I took your first time. You are mine."

x-x-x

Shizuo blinked staring at the flea who seemed agitated. "I don't need you to remind me. What's wrong with you today?" Izaya's hands around his throat didn't hurt. It seemed like the flea was the one struggling with something. "Did you get to check what you wanted to? He asked instead attempting to change the subject.

The flea visibly relaxed his strange moment over-whatever it was. "Not yet. I was tidying up. Did Kanra say anything to you? Until you got there she would have been on her own. An opportunity that shouldn't have been wasted. Wouldn't you say?" Shizuo grit his teeth getting what Izaya was suggesting.

"You're saying Shiki caught her? She didn't say anything, only that she had seen her parents."

"Mikado's parents." Izaya corrected. "That's suspicious considering that everything has happened. Shiki will wait until he gets a chance. Kida-kun is reckless. I would say that the two of them met during that short window. Keep an eye on Kanra make sure she doesn't do anything stupid. Though I guess we should be more worried about you."

Shizuo sighed shaking his head. "She would say something. He won't touch her." That he would make sure of. Kida had a lot to face up to. Last time the kid had run away after trying to destroy them and this time the blond was back. This time they knew what was coming. No harm would come to Kanra.

x-x-x

Kanra stretched pressing lightly against her hips. Once again she had overdone it inciting her two lovers. Her own fault. She preferred it when they didn't hold back. To her right was Izaya one arm slung over her waist. On her left Shizuo lay both arms holding her in an embrace. Kanra smiled resting her hand on Shizuo's arm.

Kissing both Shizuo and Izaya, Kanra carefully slipped from the bed stomach growling. Neither one of them had woken her letting her sleep in. Finding her way into the kitchen the raven flicked through the cupboards finding nothing that she could eat without risking waking the other two up. Opening the fridge she settled for one of Shizuo's pudding cups knowing he wouldn't get that mad at her.

Pudding and spoon in hand Kanra sat at her desk glad to see the repairable damage had been fixed. Dropping down in her spinning chair she turned on the computer waiting for it to load. It couldn't have been more than a couple of hours since her lovers had gone to bed. The moon was still high in the sky.

With everything loaded Kanra clicked on various links. Mikado's best friend was weighing heavily on her mind torn between her instincts and the old Kida that Mikado had known. Or had they really ever known each other? Whilst Mikado had still been living in Saitaima, Kida had been causing havoc in Ikebukuro. The past and the current Kida. Who was to say which one was real?

Bringing up Kida's details, Kanra sighed resting her head in her hands. The blond's cheeky playboy smile had her second guessing herself. "Masaomi, do I trust you or not? Why do I think you're lying?" Shaking her head she tried to clear her thoughts and start again. It was Mikado's fault. There were too many memories between him and Kida. She wasn't Mikado any more. She needed to stop thinking like him.

"Late night snack?" A quiet voice asked. Kanra's head snapped up seeing Izaya leaving the bedroom. "You looked like you needed to rest." If anyone knew the truth about Kida then it would be the informant.

"I met Kida."

"I thought as much." Kanra blinked realising Izaya knew that Kida was back in Ikebukuro.

"You knew?" Kanra clapped a hand over her mouth wincing at how loud she had spoken. "How?"

"Who do you think attacked your friends? I wasn't sure whether or not to tell you. Unfortunately Kida-kun hasn't changed. He's come back to finish what he failed to do last time. It's up to you what you want to do. Be careful." Kanra nodded leaving her seat to step around the desk giving Izaya a hug.


	13. Observing the enemy

**Observing the enemy**

Kanra stared at her phone screen seeing Kida's message flash up. Mikado's best friend and her enemy. The teen that had set their home on fire and tried to kill her. The teen that had returned and tried to hurt Celty and Anri in the process and no doubt Masaomi was behind Mikado's parents arrival in Ikebukuro.

Now that very teen was acting apologetic and wanting to make it up to her. Both of her lovers had made their thoughts on the matter clear. Shizuo wanted to smash Kida to bits and Izaya with his cruel smirk was a little harsh with his response.

All three of them had agreed that something needed to be done. They couldn't sit back and wait whilst the blonde made a move. With a heavy heart Kanra had agreed to meet up with her...friend.

That was two days ago after deep consideration. Now Kanra sat at the fountain listening to the unimportant chatter around her and the trickling of the water. _Running a little late. _The message read. That was ten minutes ago and still there was no sign.

She had a little inkling that she was being watched. Kanra couldn't detect any maliciousness guessing that the watchful eye belonged to Izaya and probably Shizuo was close by waiting calmly ready to unleash his anger.

Putting her phone in her skirt pocket, Kanra turned to the side holding her fingers out close to the spray. Looking down she caught her reflection wondering when the last time she would look like this would come.

"Hey! Sorry I'm late. Got here as quick as I could." The teen grinned apologetically hands pillowed behind his head. Kanra gave him a once over seeing how relaxed he was. Not a single drop of sweat anywhere, breathing was normal too. There was nothing to prove Kida had rushed to their meeting place.

"It's fine. I wasn't waiting long." Kanra slowly stood smoothing down her skirt. "You wanted to meet, right?" Nervously toeing the ground she could feel a tingling in the bottom of her feet. The scars were still there. When she was anxious and stressed the nightmares still haunted her.

"I did." Kida grinned taking her hand. "You look cute. Is that something you chose for me or did your _brother _buy those for you?" Kanra looked at their joined hands. "I suppose it doesn't matter. Let's go on a date!" Kanra blinked eyes widening as she was pulled along.

"A d-date? I already have a boy-"

"Where should we go first?" Kida grinned. His gaze left no room for argument.

"Don't you have a girlfriend?" Kanra asked quietly trying to pull away. "Shizuo won't be happy about this." Neither would Izaya. Kida waved a hand darting through the crowd still holding her hand.

"Let's go karaoke!" The blonde shouted in the wind. Kanra sighed. Mikado's friend was stubborn and now unpredictable. His intentions were clouded and that was dangerous.

x-x-x

"Want a drink?" Kida asked standing at the door. Kanra shook her head looking around the small booth. The door was closed leaving them alone in a soundproof enclosed space. There was two long seats separated by a table. A screen was flickering with a microphone attached.

"No thank you." All in all it was about the worst place she could have been lead to. There were a number of booths in the building and although she had no doubt Izaya would find her, being alone with the guy that had tried to kill her was a little unnerving.

"Don't be so shy. I won't bite. I'll get you one anyway. There's a vending machine out here. I'll be back in a minute." Kanra said nothing relaxing slightly when the door closed with a click. Taking her phone out a small groan left her seeing her signal was dire.

To be expected in such a place. Then it was time to leave. Kanra decided standing up. But if she did...they were back to square one. Friend or foe. She needed to know just what the blonde's plans were. With a sigh Kanra sat back down smoothing down her skirt.

Moments later the door opened and in walked Kida with drinks in hand. "All from the vending machine." The blonde grinned placing several cans on the table. Kanra could see that not a single one had been opened. Why had the blonde brought so many? "So, it's been a while."

"Yeah. It has."

"We agreed to be friends again. This a little awkward." Kida flopped down on the other seat reaching for one of the cans. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"...you set my home on fire." Kanra pointed out not feeling like pretending.

"Like I said. I didn't realise who you were. You survived. So did the other two. What have they got over you?" The blond asked snapping back the tab on the fizzy drink.

"I love them."

"Is that so? You aren't together because of your act? That bastard is supposedly your brother and you're doing things like that with him? Not to mention the fortissimo. The man throws vending machines and you let him sleep with you?" Kida laughed taking a gulp.

"Don't insult my lovers." Kanra said quietly.

"Mikado really did die didn't he? You went too far again. I was forever pulling you away from the dangerous stuff and you run straight back in when I let go."

Kanra lowered her head. She didn't need to listen to the teen's words. They were poison. She could feel his anger and hurt.

"The more I think back on it the funnier it is. You attended your own funeral. How did it feel seeing everyone that cared about you crying their eyes out in mourning?"

"Masaomi..."

"That mask. How long do you plan to live a fake life?" Kanra shrank back the half empty can hitting the table where the blonde slammed it down. The raven jumped one eye on the door. "This isn't who you are, Mikado."

In one swift movement Kida was straddling her lap one thumb pressed against her lips. "My best friend, the leader of dollars now a cross dresser." Kanra could feel her lipstick smear across her cheek.

"Masaomi-" drip...drip... Crimson eyes looked at the orange droplets on her wrist. A cold wetness in her hair made her shiver, droplets trickling down the back of her neck caught by her bra. Raising her head she could see the blond holding an upturned can. Her skirt and top were ruined soaked through.

The can clattered to the floor left forgotten. Kanra stared up at Mikado's friend seeing not hatred but pity in the depths of his eyes. "Everyone makes mistakes, Mikado."

Kanra sat frozen the wig pulled from her head. She shouldn't have come. If Kida's job was humiliate her then it was a job accomplished.

"I've made them and now you're making one. It's okay. I'm not giving up on you. I'll save you." The blonde smiled holding the wig in a clenched fist.

"...Masaomi. I don't need saving."

"Your parents miss you. You don't see it do you? You fell into that bastard's clutches. He's not helping you. He's imprisoned you, forced you to dress like a girl. I can see you're not happy. That's why I'll bring you back to life. Izaya killed you off but I'll bring you back."

Kanra shuddered as Kida's arms wrapped around her. "Ma-"

"No matter what it takes, I'll make everything as it used to be. It looks like I'll need to get rid of your jailers first." Before Kanra could shield her face, the blonde had his phone in hand snapping her picture. "Your parents will be happy to know you're alive."

Kanra flinched hearing the mention of her parents. The image on the small screen showed her without her wig, make up smeared across her face. Reaching out for the phone she pushed Kida away from her knocking him against the table where the cans rattled.

"I don't need saving, Masaomi-kun. I'm happy with Izaya and Shizuo. You've hurt them enough." Kanra tugged at the raven locks trying to free her wig from Kida's hand.

The blonde caught her wrist yanking her down. Kanra crashed into the table knocking the cans flying. "I can't let you go back to them. Night night, princess." Disorientated Kanra grabbed one of the cans. If not for her training she would be out for the count. Flexing her wrist the raven rolled from the table ignoring the pain in her side and back and she landed on one of the cans.

Weapon out in front of her in both hands, Kanra snapped back the tab on the can. Fizzy cola shot out in a vicious spray soaking Kida and getting most of it in his face. Forgoing the wig, the raven snatched the phone as she stood up. Throwing it to the floor, Kanra slammed her foot down hearing a crunch as the phone became unusable.

Turning on her heel, Kanra ran for the door throwing it open. Breezing down the halls she ran past the other rooms heading for the entrance. "Izaya! Shizuo!" She called in desperation fishing in her pocket for her phone. From the corner of her eye she caught sight of a girl with really short hair. Too late she noticed the way the teen was looking at her and the foot stuck out.

Kanra flew down the corridor watching the ground rush up to meet her. Thud. With a groan she raised herself seeing the grazes on her elbows and knees. Stifling a whimper the raven limped quickly through the exit looking fearfully behind her.

"Go on then." Izaya sighed next to her. Kanra found herself swept up in Shizuo's arms once again carried like a princess. "Well? How did it go?" The informant asked shrugging his jacket off. Taking it gratefully she awkwardly put it on flipping the hood over her head.

"How do you think it went? stupid flea. Her make-up is smudged, she's dripping wet and her knees are bleeding." Shizuo growled.

"Yes, I can see that for myself, protozoan." Izaya sighed taking a pack of tissues from his jeans pocket.

"Then don't ask stupid questions. I said this was a dumb idea."

"As opposed to smashing Kida-kun to bits? That really would have helped."

"It hurts." Kanra muttered curling in closer to Shizuo's chest. Both of her lovers stopped bickering.

"Let's get out of here." Izaya waved a hand where a cab was already waiting. Opening the door he ushered them inside.

x-x-x

Kanra sighed leaning against Shizuo's broad chest on the sofa. Izaya was sitting next to the blonde leaning against his shoulder. For now she didn't have a wig and was free to go without one. Her make-up had been washed off and her injuries covered with small plasters.

After a shower she had changed into her nightwear. A pink flowing gown that reached just below her knees. Kanra sighed again looking up at Izaya

"Do you want to talk about it?" The informant asked one finger on her nose.

"Flea..." Shizuo growled quietly in warning.

"I'm okay, Shizuo. Just a little tired." Kanra closed her eyes wanting to fall asleep. She already knew it was pointless and that sleep wouldn't come. "Masaomi-kun is an enemy."

"Really? He tried to hurt you?" Izaya asked stroking her cheek.

"Not so much. He wants to save me. He thinks you two are my jailers and wants to take you out. He wants to bring back Mikado." Kanra explained panic in her voice.

"That can't happen. Mikado can't exist. If the gangs found out he's still alive...you won't be for much longer. This is how things have to be." Kanra climbed into Izaya's lap. "I gave you a choice and you chose to live."

"...I know." The younger raven rested her head against her lover. "I'm happy. I told him that. Masaomi-kun doesn't believe me. He's going to try and tell my parents I'm still alive. Physically he won't hurt me. It's you two that he's after."

"We can take care of ourselves." Shizuo grunted. "Guess it's pointless to talk."

"Guess so." Izaya agreed. "Where are you going, Shizu-chan?" Kanra blinked Shizuo kissing her and then Izaya.

"I'm going to check on Kasuka." The blonde grumbled not looking too happy. "Don't look at me like that. I won't go after anyone. I just need to check he's doing okay."

"Make sure that's all you do." Izaya grabbed his wrist pulling him in for another kiss. "In the meantime I'm bored so Kanra and I will find something to do together. Won't we?"

Kanra nodded smiling up at Shizuo. "Yeah. Can you check on Celty and Anri too?" Kanra giggled Izaya's hands sliding under her sides to tickle her. "C-cut it out."

"Yeah. Will do. Have fun you two." Izaya grinned arms enclosing around her.

"We will. See you later, Shizu-chan." Both of them waved their lover goodbye, the door closing. Kanra smiled and then Izaya was upon her distracting her from the painful truth.


	14. Broken down

**Broken down **

Mikado's best friend had left her in limbo. A month had passed since their confrontation and the blonde's declaration she would be saved from everything that made her happy. There had been no word, nothing amiss or any contact. Kida Masaomi had vanished from Ikebukuro to the point that not even her mentor could find him. It was unnerving knowing there was an enemy out there waiting like a wild animal teeth bared for its prey.

It was the waiting game. Either the blonde slipped up allowing her or Izaya- maybe both of them- to catch a movement or an inkling of what was to come. Neither of them could relax their guard. That was most likely what Kida wanted. A chance to strike.

Shizuo was on edge. Her other lover was spending his time divided between them and his younger brother Kasuka. Kasuka was slowly getting better yet at the same time becoming dependent on the blonde not wanting to let him out of his sight. Something Izaya hadn't been happy with-at all.

"Good morning." Kanra smiled safety nestled within Izaya's arms. Izaya remained asleep arms slipping around his waist. The bed felt too spacious. "Shizuo isn't-"

"He stayed with Kasuka last night. Makes the third night in a row." Not a lot of people could pick out the irritation in Izaya's voice but she could. It was there now worse than the day before. It wouldn't be long until there was yet another argument breaking out.

"Kasuka-san needs him." Kanra reasoned. It did feel lonely without the blonde by her side moreover Izaya didn't seem to be holding himself in check when their lover wasn't around.

"As do you." The informant whined. "Click your fingers I'm sure he'll come running for you. He always does."

Kanra sighed snuggling against Izaya a kiss upon his lips. Crimson orbs flicked down gazing into her own eyes. "Shizuo would do the same for you."

"Doubtful. That protozoan likes screwing and that's about it. We're over the moment he gets another man to stick their dick in his ass. Probably Tanaka-san. That man always had his eyes on the clueless brute."

"Hehe." Kanra giggled. "You're jealous."

"I am not!" Izaya defended. "The protozoan can do as he likes. It wasn't like we were friends before." Kanra grinned reaching over to swipe the raven's phone. "What are you doing with that?"

Kanra rolled out of the way flicking her thumb across the small screen. "Testing." She gave a small smile counting the rings. "One. Tw-"

_"Hey, flea." _Kanra was shocked at how tired and distraught their lover sounded. _"Something happen?" _The idea had been to hand the phone straight over yet the device refused to leave her grasp.

"...good morning, Shizu-chan." Izaya grinned looking just as worried as she did. There was something wrong.

_"Morning. Why are you calling?"_

"Kanra wanted me to check up on you. Don't ask stupid questions protozoan."

_"Oh. I should've called. I'm fine." _

"You don't sound it. Kasuka keep you up, Shizu-chan?"

_"Shizuo, go home. I can't imagine the floor is that comfortable." _Shinra. What floor? _"Fine. I'll be home in a bit. Let Kanra know." _ Shizuo didn't realise he was on speaker phone or ask to speak to her. Kanra listened to the silence that filled their bedroom.

"What was that?" She asked quietly looking fearfully at Izaya. "Did something happen?"

The raven shrugged returning the phone to the beside table. "Looks like it. We'll find out when the protozoan gets back here." Izaya sighed hopping out of bed. "In the mean time I'm going to have a shower. Want to join me?" Kanra smiled following behind.

x-x-x

"Who was that?" Shinra asked poking his nose in. Shizuo shrugged leaving the phone beside him. "You should go home. I'll let you know if there's any changes."

Shizuo lifted his head lazily lifting his hand to take a puff of his cigarette. "Nothing is going to change. I shouldn't have stuck my neck out for him. He hates me, Shinra. My little brother can't stand me. The one person that vowed never to be afraid of me."

"Shizuo. Go home."

"Yeah yeah. I'm going." Shizuo grumbled pushing himself up his legs felt numb from where he had been sitting curled up for so long. "Take care of him."

"You know I will. Do you want Celty to give you a lift?"

"No. She has better things to do. Later."

"Shizuo!" Shinra called catching his arm. "Your brother isn't himself at the moment. He won't be for a long time. Drugs are damaging to both the body and mind. Kasuka doesn't hate you."

"Guess I'm hearing things then." Cigarette perched between his lips he rolled his shoulders loosening some of the stiffness. "Don't look at me like that." Shizuo walked away leaving his brother in the capable hands of Shinra. Three pointless days and nights outside a damn door he could open as easy as tearing through cardboard.

It was a little chilly stepping outside the building and walking back towards his home. He was aware he probably looked like shit- hell he probably smelled like it. It was a pathetic joke how much of his heart felt like it was being gouged from his chest at his brother's words.

Logically Shizuo was no fool. He knew Shinra was correct in his diagnosis Kasuka wasn't of sound mind. His words were a jumble mixed up in a confused mind. His brother was an addict with a problem. A problem that he couldn't fix.

Believing every word that came out of his brother's mouth was a lie was only hurting himself. Somewhere deep down Kasuka was afraid of him. Hated him for what he had unknowingly forced his younger brother to become.

_"Get out. I hate you. I hate you." _Even now those words circled the forefront of his mind going around and around.

Izaya had done his best and failed. The media circled like hungry sharks ready to feast on a burnt out dying star. Shizuo raised his head looking across at the unmarked van. That was one. The man hiding in the alley. That was two.

Celty had dealt with most of them keeping out of sight. He had dealt with a large group when they had stupidly crowded him for answers.

Kasuka's career was in ruins. Every moment of his life exploited and Shizuo shuddered to guess when the confidentiality agreement would be broken. As soon as it was found out that Yuuhei Hanejima was Kasuka Heiwajima- well that was when the shit would truly hit the fan.

He could see the headlines now linking his brother to the monster of Ikebukuro. Shizuo looked away ignoring the click of a shutter close by. Kasuka didn't want his help. His brother had finally admitted the truth.

With a shudder the blonde flicked away his cigarette stuffing both hands in his pockets. Slowly he trudged back to where Kanra and Izaya were. They were the last. The last ones that loved him.

x-x-x

Kanra giggled running from the bathroom. She didn't get far a sly arm sliding around her waist pulling her close. "I'm not dressed yet!" She whined looking up.

She had only managed to sort her hair and underwear before Izaya gave her that Perverted predator look. "You want me to wait until you're dressed?"

Kanra gasped watching Izaya's hand slide over her belly. "No! I- I ah!" She squeaked falling back against the informant. "S-something's rubbing." The flush on her cheeks darkened.

"Mm." Izaya licked the shell of her ear. "That's my desire. Do you want it?" Kanra shivered nodding desperately.

"Yes. Yes please." Izaya ground against her. A pleasant shiver wound its way a up her body originating from the hardened flesh pressed against her panties.

"Good girl." Kanra nodded on tip toes arching against Izaya's bare chest. She wasn't aware when she had been turned around. She only knew her back had hit the wall, Izaya taking her weight around his waist.

"Ah!" Kanra gasped a sly digit sliding under the flimsy material. Izaya bucked his hips rubbing them together. "No. No teasing. P-put it in." Kanra smiled fluttering her red eyes. "Please, Izaya-nii."

The eyes reflected back at her were clouded with lust and need. Kanra mewled at the touches her legs squeezed tighter around Izaya's waist. "Who needs that protozoan? I can do anything he can. We'll let him join in if he gets here in time."

Kanra merely smiled. Her lover was jealous, worried and hurt. Shizuo would be returning home soon to join them. She missed seeing her other lover. "Yeah." She smiled. Shizuo would be home soon. "More."

Izaya obliged pressing another finger inside her. Kanra laced her arms around Izaya's neck bouncing against them. "Izaya!" She cried out. "Please. More."

The pair of them grinned lost in a haze of pleasure neither one knowing that their lover had come and gone or aware that something was disastrously wrong.

x-x-x

Shizuo glanced up at the door his thumb smoothing over the key. A small smile touched his lips as he unlocked the door. "I'm home." He murmured quietly looking around the apartment. The desks were empty. "Don't tell me you two are both in bed."

Closing the door, Shizuo slipped the key back in his pocket. The bedroom door was closed. Reaching for the handle he could hear noises coming from inside. Izaya and Kanra. Opening the door a smidge Shizuo froze. "Who needs that protozoan? I can do anything he can."

"Yeah." His smile fell hand dropping from the handle. He could see everything through that small crack. What exactly had he expected? Izaya and Kanra to be sitting in silence waiting for him?

Without a word Shizuo turned away leaving the apartment. On his way out he dropped the key on the mat quietly closing the door. His last act of kindness would be not to disturb the two happy lovers.

x-x-x

"Shizu-chan isn't back yet." Izaya sighed finally allowing her to get dressed. Kanra nodded pulling on her skirt. "Why don't you call the brute? He's probably still with his precious little brother."

She couldn't say anything in defence. Shizuo wasn't back. He said he would be. "Do you think Masaomi had something to do with this?"

"No. Shizu-chan just chose who was more important to him. That's all. I have a client to visit. Remember the rules?"

"Don't let anyone in. If it's a client verify their identity before letting them in or arrange an appointment and wait until you've done a back ground check. I know the procedure."

"Good." Izaya kissed her on the lips. "Be a good girl." With a grin and a wave the informant was gone. Out for the probably the rest of the day. Kanra smiled at the thought. Her gaze fell to the door mat seeing a silver key. Izaya had left his key behind.

That meant he would have to knock to get her to open the door. Smiling at her moment of freedom, Kanra ran into the bedroom shimmying off the skirt and blouse. Her bra and panties followed bunched up on the floor. The wig followed, the hardest to remove being the contacts. "Ow." Kanra winced poking herself in the eye in her haste.

Mikado panted flopping down on the bed. It had been a while since he had been himself. "I'm a boy." He murmured running the tips of his fingers over his flat chest. "I'm a boy. I'm a boy."

Moving his hand lower his fingers curled around his shaft. "I'm a boy." He whispered in a mantra tracing the thick vein. Opening his legs his fingertips brushed against his sac. "I'm a boy."

Mikado touched himself avoiding his butt. He could feel his hole twitching in anticipation. "I'm a boy. I'm a boy. His hand moved in slow desperate strokes. He tried not to think about Izaya's hands on him slamming deep inside creating maddening pleasure that left his body humming for more even after they were finished bathing in an afterglow. "Ah!"

With a defeated groan Mikado opened his eyes seeing his hand disappearing between his legs. Pulling his fingers free Mikado threw his arms to the sides sniffling as the tears began to fall. How long would it be until he did die leaving Kanra?

x-x-x

"This doesn't get back to anyone, informant-san." The woman in question stood with her hood up a piece of folded paper held between manicured fingers.

"Of course not." Izaya smiled breezily pretending not to know who she was. It wasn't like the hood and sunglasses were doing much. He could see the fist sized bruise across her cheek a dark purple that the foundation and concealer wasn't quite covering. "Shouldn't you be getting back?"

The woman backed away her trembling giving away her fear. Izaya waved like a child. If she wasn't careful she would be dead before he could use the information and he couldn't have that. She was bait after all for the final act.

Whistling to himself Izaya skipped along slowly unfolding the square piece of paper smiling down at the key information in his hands. It took only a moment to memorise. With a smirk his fingers tore the sheet one, then in half and half again.

His hand flew backwards as he spun around letting the information flutter like confetti blown in a gust of wind. "What to do now?" Izaya asked himself.

He could go back to the apartment and keep Kanra company. Though he supposed really he should go and see the protozoan. If there was a problem with Kasuka then-

Izaya stopped his gaze narrowing. There was someone that looked suspiciously like the blonde sitting outside a cafe with someone that looked like Tom. Izaya's brow twitched in irritation.

Skipping closer confirmed that the pair were his lover and Tom. Tom was the first to realise he was there. Shizuo was sitting with what looked like one of his sickly milkshakes.

"Shizu-chan, fancy seeing you here." The blonde flinched turning to look at him. "Decided to take a pit stop before coming home?"

"...flea."

"Well it looks like you're busy. Don't worry about me and Kanra we don't need you to rush around on our behalf. I guess you don't really care how scared Kanra was for you."

Izaya said nothing about himself. He didn't see the point in telling the protozoan he thought something had happened with Kasuka or perhaps been ambushed by a gang on the way home.

He didn't know what would make him angrier. Seeing the blonde sitting at a table with his boss or laying bloodied and beaten in an alley.

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya cut himself off mid rant. Shizuo was staring at him but not with rage. Moreover it was the same dead gaze that Kasuka held. "Oi! Protozoan!"

x-x-x

After leaving the apartment Shizuo did the first thing he always did when he was upset or after he had done something bad despite his hatred of violence. Sometimes- every time his body reacted against his will. Celty was the only one that could stop him. A monster like him. He would calm her and she would calm him. Shizuo's fingers took a while to move across the keys bringing up the message.

His limbs felt tired even though the blonde continued to walk on without a destination in mind. Well not quite. For the time being he could go to work. At least then he would have something to do.

His boss Tom was unmistakable in the crowd. "Tom." Shizuo called walking just a tad quicker. The man looked at him and sighed.

"...Shizuo."

"Sorry about the last few days. Stuff happened." Shizuo apologised.

"Shizuo...we need to talk."

Tom led him to a café ordering and carrying their drinks to one of the tables outside. "I'm sorry. The higher ups have told me to fire you. They said it was to be done as soon as I saw you."

Shizuo sat frozen. "Why?" He whispered quietly. "I didn't break anything."

"I know." Tom sighed.

"...but they don't need me?"

"No. I'm sorry."

Shizuo sat in silence shivering from the cold seeping into his bones. He no longer had a job. His senpai had given him a chance and he has ruined it all. Just like he had wasted the uniforms Kasuka had brought for him.

"Shizu-chan. Fancy seeing you here. Decided to take a pit stop before coming home?"

Izaya. Izaya had come after him. No- it didn't look like that was the case. Shizuo closed his eyes seeing the anger and disgust in those sharp crimson orbs hearing a faint buzzing in his ears.

"Flea."

"Well it looks like you're busy. Don't worry about me and Kanra we don't need you. I guess you don't really care how scared Kanra is of you."

Scared of him? Kanra was afraid of him? Did no one like him? Perhaps if asked the flea would give him the same answer. Hated or feared. What was the point of his monstrous existence?

Shizuo reached up clutching at the growing pain in his chest. "Shizu-chan? Oi! Protozoan!" Izaya tipped to the side. Shizuo stared at him a loud pounding defeating his ear drums. He could see Izaya's mouth moving. Slowly his eyes slipped shut. Idly he realised it was him that was tipping, falling off his his chair.

His heart felt cold. His body refused to move as he fell like a puppet with the last strings cut. Kasuka hated him, Izaya and Kanra were happier without him and Tom didn't want him. There was no one left. Shizuo gave one last smile before going still.


	15. Into the void

**Into the void**

Mikado jumped guiltily when his phone rang. A shrill chime that had been linked to urgent calls. Few people had the number and one of those was Izaya. Not urgent enough though that he couldn't quickly pull on his clothes once again becoming Kanra. If Izaya knew what he had been doing there would be trouble that he didn't even think Shizuo would be able to get him out of.

With the last piece on Kanra reached for the phone seeing that it was indeed Izaya. "Hello?"

_"What did I tell you about answering this one quicker?" _

"Sorry Izaya-nii. I was in the bathroom." Rubbing her tear stained cheeks she tried not to burst into a fresh flood. "What's wrong?"

_"I have something I need you to look into. I'm currently busy here. They aren't allowing any electrical devices so I'm not going to be able to contact you for a while."_

Kanra sat up bolt right deducing that Izaya was in the hospital. "Are you hurt?"

_"No. I need you to find out everything you can that happened to Shizu-chan this past month. Don't let him find out, ne?"_

"You've spoken to him?"

_"A little. Be careful." _

"I will. Love you." Ending the call Kanra ran from the bedroom to her computer. If it wasn't Izaya in hospital then it would be Shizuo. Something had happened and it was her job to find out what.

x-x-x

_"I will. Love you." _

"Love you too." Izaya sighed turning his phone off. Turning around he made his way back through double doors. Shinra would have been an easier solution. Instead Tom had called an ambulance.

At least with Kanra looking into Shizuo he could stay to watch over the protozoan. Back in the room he could see Tom sitting beside the bed holding the blonde's hand. Izaya opened the door a little more harshly than normal drawing the man's attention. The hand didn't move. "What were you talking about at the café?" He questioned seeing as Tom was the last one to see him.

"We were talking about work. I told him I was taking holiday so he didn't need to work for that period. I thought he'd be happy he got to spend more time looking after things. Instead he looked horrified."

Izaya sat cross legged on the end of the bed staring at his lover and the steadily beeping machine next to him. The doctors hadn't done much from what he could see. There had been no need for resuscitation since the blonde was breathing. It was as if the protozoan was simply sleeping.

"Things aren't good between the two of you?" Tom asked prying into his business. "Shizuo looked even worse after you arrived."

Izaya shot the man a glare. "Everything was fine between us."

"That's good. I want to see Shizuo happy."

"I bet." Izaya muttered. "Where is Shinra?" No one was coming to see them to tell him what was going on. Reaching over he smacked the older man's hand away putting an end to his irritation.

x-x-x

Kanra had a board. Much like Izaya had boards but hers was a big white one used for larger information. In the centre was a recently taken photo. There were only three categories. Herself, Izaya, Kasuka and other.

Along the bottom Kanra drew a time line from one end of the board to the other. The first week could be crossed off since Izaya had been on red alert not allowing them to leave each other's side. That left three weeks.

Kanra sighed highlighting the last three days. Those had been the days Shizuo hadn't been home at all. Shinra had confirmed with Izaya that the blonde had stayed at theirs during the time.

That still left an overwhelming gap. It didn't help that she had nothing to go on. Izaya had been vague in his task and now she had no way to contact him. With a soft gasp her tinted eyes fell to the mat where a silver key lay mocking her for her oversight. Now with the key in hand she could see the metal had been bent and re-shaped under a strong force. Something Izaya couldn't accomplish. The key was Shizuo's.

That meant that the blonde had returned to the apartment and then left again without bothering to say hello. Unless something was wrong. Kanra squeezed the key in her fist. Shizuo was the one in hospital. So then what had happened to him?

x-x-x

"What have you got?" Izaya asked standing right outside the hospital.

_"What am I looking for?" _Kanra answered sounding irritable. _"The first week we can cross off since he was with us. The last three days are the most suspicious since he didn't come home at all. Izaya-nii, Shizuo was at the apartment this morning. He left his key behind."_

Izaya closed his eyes breathing slowly to keep himself in check. That left them with three whole weeks. "Shizu-chan is unconscious. The doctors don't know why. I'm waiting for Shinra to turn up."

_"What? What happened?" _

"That's what I'm counting on you to find out. One of us needs to stay here. There's no point switching our positions. I need you as an informant right now. Can you do that?"

_"Yes. I'm looking for anything out of the ordinary or strange behaviour?"_

Izaya smiled proud of his lover. "Yes. Tanaka-san mentioned he told Shizu-chan he was going on holiday and the protozoan looked upset. I'm going to get a better time line from him. Contact Celty see if she knows anything."

_"Okay. Keep me updated, Izaya-nii." _

"I'll call you when I can." Ending the call Izaya retraced his steps seeing that Tom was still watching over the blonde. "How is he?"

"No change. Do you think this is my fault?"

Izaya shrugged taking his place on the bed. "I don't know. Kanra and I are putting together a time line. How has Shizu-chan been the past three weeks?"

"The same as usual. It wasn't until he started missing work three days ago. Today he seemed on edge...scared."

"Scared? Of what?" Izaya asked incredulously. The blonde didn't get scared. Guns and knives no longer fazed him. The only thing that did was..."Rejection. Shizu-chan looked like he had been rejected. Didn't he?"

Tom looked at him shocked. "...yeah. He did. It was the same as when we were teenagers."

Izaya got up pacing back and forth. The blonde had been acting strange for the past three days choosing to stay with Kasuka. Judging by what Shinra had said things hadn't been going well. Kanra had said their lover had returned to the apartment and left almost immediately. That would have been whilst the two of them were having fun.

If there were no physical wounds which he had already checked then that meant there was something seriously wrong inside of his lover's body or that it was psychological. "Izaya! Sorry I'm late. Celty wanted to come too but I told her to stay. Can't let Kasuka out on his own."

Izaya closed the door leaning back against it his head covering the small sheet of glass. "No one has been to see him yet. What's wrong with the protozoan?"

x-x-x

Kanra slumped in the chair looking at the board. Nothing suggested anything abnormal happening during the three weeks except for the past three days. The days that their lover spent with Kasuka.

If anything had happened Shinra and Celty would have contacted them. They cared about Shizuo. Unless they didn't know about it. Closing her eyes Kanra drummed her fingers on the desk trying to make some headway on what was going on.

_"Shizuo! Are you okay? You look..."_

_"Go ahead and say it. I look like a monster."_

_"No, I meant you look tired. Did something happen?" _

_"Nothing much. Had drinks with Kasuka. Kanra, I'm going to lay down. Tell the flea not to bother me."_

Kanra's eyes snapped open. Not three days. The beginning of the last week. Shizuo had looked haggard as if something had upset him. Swiping up her phone she dialled Shinra waiting for an answer before realising that the illegal doctor would be at the hospital.

With a sigh she cut the call taking her next best option-Celty. The message was pinged back almost immediately. _I was out that day to get the shopping. We didn't have any sugar or milk. Shinra said he wanted to try something. _

Kanra read over the reply. Shizuo has said he had drinks. Without milk and sugar? Not likely. Staring at the board her eyes narrowed. She was missing something.

x-x-x

"Well?" Izaya asked arms folded. They still hadn't been disturbed. No one had come to check on the blonde. They either didn't care or didn't see him as an emergency. Sad really.

"I'm going as quickly as I can. Everything seems to be in order. There's no outside interference or any symptoms to suggest anything wrong. Physically there's nothing wrong. Shizuo's heart rate and his other stats are stable." Shinra told him what he had already figured out.

"It's a breakdown then?"

"That's what it looks like. I was worried about him leaving my apartment. Shizuo was adamant that Kasuka hated him. I'll run some more tests but until he wakes up we won't see the extent of the damage."

"Helpful." Izaya scowled rolling his eyes. "When will he wake up?"

"That I don't know. Huh?" Izaya followed Shinra's gaze. "Shizuo's heart rate just spiked. Has he taken anything?"

"I don't know. He was with you for the past three days! I knew something like this would happen. Wake him up."

"Izaya, I can't-"

"Fix him, Shinra." Izaya left the room hating how fragile the blonde looked in the bed and hating himself for being unable to face it. He should have kept a closer eye on him. The problem was the brute's stubbornness.

The nurses ran past him finally doing their jobs and taking care of their patient. Izaya hurried outside switching on his phone. Kanra would be upset with the sudden change but there was nothing he could do about it.

_"Izaya-nii, I found something!"_

Izaya held the phone away from his ear. "Speak quietly, Kanra." The informant grumbled rubbing at his ear.

_"Sorry. I went back to the beginning of the week and Celty said she wasn't there because she didn't have milk and sugar. Shizuo said he had drinks with Kasuka."_

"So? They waited until Celty got back. How does this help?"

_"Because I checked the CCTV of the cafés close to Shinra's apartment. Shizuo was there at one of them with Kasuka." _

"What was that?" Izaya's voice dropped sounding icy. "Are you sure?"

_"It's definitely them. There's something else. Shizuo left his seat to order once. It looks like the waitress gave Kasuka something. It could be sugar-"_

"Or it could be something bad. What happened to it?"

_"S-Some of it was poured into Shizuo's drink. The rest went into Kasuka's pocket." _

Izaya laughed bitterly at the pure stupidity of his humans. "Kasuka-kun drugged his brother. Good work, Kanra. I'll be leaving the hospital soon."

_"Izaya-nii, will Shizuo be okay?" _Izaya could hear the undisguised worry in her voice.

"Should be. Shinra is here and we know that he was drugged. It should speed up the process. See you when I get back."

Izaya's expression was dark ending the call. Turning back to the hospital he wasn't surprised seeing Shinra standing in the reception. "They kicked me out. I shouldn't be doing tests on _their _patient. Why didn't you call me first?"

"Blame Shizu-chan's boss. Why didn't you tell me you allowed Kasuka-kun out of the apartment?" Izaya asked masking his anger.

"Because Shizuo was with him. It wasn't like he was on his own."

"Except that Kasuka-kun slipped him something. I hope you got a blood sample." Shinra deflated pulling a couple of vials from his lab coat. For his own personal experiments Izaya supposed. "Run a tox screen or whatever you do."

"Where are you going?" Shinra caught the sleeve of his jacket.

"To get some answers from Kasuka-kun." Izaya gave a sickly grin smoothing his thumb over the switchblade.

"What about Shizuo?"

"His boss is watching over him. I won't be long." Izaya skipped from the hospital hailing the nearest cab. If he said he hated the idea of roughing the actor up a little- he'd be lying. All that mattered was finding out just what Kasuka had given the blonde.

x-x-x

Kanra slumped spinning idly in the chair. She felt useless stuck inside the apartment. Her part was over leaving her to wonder what her lover had been drugged with.

The waiting was painful staring at her phone. Izaya wasn't calling. That meant the informant was in the hospital still watching over Shizuo. As soon as the blonde woke up then she would be the second to know.

Head in her hands Kanra clenched her fists in distress. She didn't understand humans as well as Izaya but she knew how desperate Kasuka must have been to spike his own brother.

Since the beginning Shizuo had been there for his brother and now his brother had betrayed the blonde just as Masaomi had her and Mikado. Did Izaya realise what was happening? That their loved ones were turning against them. The town was turning against them.

Kanra gasped wrapping her arms around her shivering body. She could feel everything closing in on her. A heavy weight crushing down on her shoulders. "Shizuo." Kanra whispered. This time Shizuo wouldn't be rushing straight for her.

Her hopes raised hearing the knock on the door. "Izaya-nii!" She called in relief running over to open the door. "How is Shi-" Not Izaya. Kanra realised too late staring at the couple in front of her. "Uh...Can I help you?" Mikado's parents. Not a client. Not Shiki. She had opened the door to Mikado's parents.

"Oh! Its you. You're the girl from before." Mikado's mother smiled sadly. "We're looking for Orihara Izaya. We were told that he's the best one to contact. Are you an informant too?" Kanra blinked numbly feeling everything inside her come undone. "Are you okay?"

"M-R- Orihara Kanra. That's my name. I'm Izaya's l-sister. My... brother isn't here right now."

"Well that's okay. Perhaps you can help us." Mikado's mother smiled stepping past her into the apartment. Kanra was left standing at the doorway numb. Her phone was on the desk and both of her lovers weren't at her side.


	16. Path termination

**Path termination**

"Open up." Izaya banged his fist on the door. "Hey! Open up!" The door opened Celty answering.

_How's Shizuo? _Was shoved in his face. The dullahan showed no sign of moving out of the way if she didn't get an answer.

"Still unconscious. I need to have a word with Kasuka-kun." Izaya moved to push past.

_Why? Is something wrong? _Celty wasn't budging planting herself stubbornly in his path. _Shinra said you were angry and stressed. _

"Shinra has a big mouth and needs to learn the meaning of patient confidentiality. I need to speak to that waste of space." Izaya slipped a hand into his pocket reaching for his knife.

_You're not a patient. Shizuo is. He won't be happy if you hurt his brother. _Ever the faithful best friend. Izaya rolled his eyes.

"Even if that brother is the reason Shizu-chan is unconscious?" The informant hissed. "I think perhaps you'd best let me in, Celty-san."

The truth wielded in such a brutal manner worked. The dullahan stepped to one side allowing him to place one foot over the threshold. That was enough for him to duck underneath her lax arm and into the apartment.

Izaya ran for the door he knew Kasuka was behind. He didn't get far before catching a slither of inky blackness shoot towards him. Side stepping the tendril Izaya span on his foot turning to face the dullahan. Friend or foe was difficult to determine when the dullahan was standing blocking what would be his escape exit. Shadows writhed low around her feet connected to the large, deadly looking sycthe held in two hands.

_You're wrong. _Shadows spelt out across the apartment wall. Izaya was mildly impressed. It wasn't a decent enough attempt to keep him distracted. _Kasuka wouldn't harm Shizuo. _

"You're willing to bet Shizu-chan's life on that, are you?" Izaya questioned hopping away from the thin shadow curling around his ankle. "Humans are full of greed. Bonds of blood mean nothing."

_Liar. I've witnessed humans as much as you have. They're kind and foolish_.

"I wasn't talking about Shinra." Izaya threw himself backwards to avoid losing his head. "I'm talking about the human that cut you open to see how you worked. The humans that exploit your existence across the news. The human that chases after you every time you go on the roads. Humans change!"

_Like your relationship with Shizuo? _

"Perhaps. I was thinking more along the lines of love and friendship turning to hate." Izaya groaned his shoulders slamming harshly against the floor. The dullahan was nice enough to cushion his head underneath a blob of shadow.

Celty stood over him crouching down. Izaya glanced at the screen. _You're wrong. Shizuo wouldn't allow Kasuka to do anything harmful. _

"Then you might as well go to the hospital now because depending on what that drug addled imbecile actor has given Shizu-chan, he might not wake up." Izaya bit his lip staring into the depths of Celty's visor. "Best say your goodbyes, ne?"

x-x-x

"Are you okay?" Kanra nodded numbly staring at the other side of the desk where Mikado's parents were sitting.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry. What can I do for you?" Under the desk her hands were clenched into fists. The pain she was causing herself was a distraction from the truth bubbling inside her. Both of them looked as if they were ageing years. They both looked haggard deprived of sleep.

"I'm sure you know about it. Mikado Ryugamine. He was our son. He died."

"...I've heard about it." Kanra answered slowly digging her nails into her palms.

"We thought you might have. It's taken us a while to come this far. Our son's death tore us apart. Recently we've been thinking that we didn't know what he was doing. Our request is for information on our son. We want to know who he was friends with, his school grades, if he had a crush on anyone. Everything."

"Ryugamine-san-" Kanra breathed.

"We weren't the perfect parents. Our home back in Saitama was safe. Mikado never adjusted. He would spend hours on end in his room. The only time he showed enthusiasm was when we brought him a computer."

Kanra averted her eyes hating to see the tears well up in the woman's eyes. The man was more composed-barely. For her it was torture. Punishment for being so selfish. Her actions- no Mikado's had caused this.

"If you'll excuse me for a moment." Kanra smiled apologetically. Slowly she walked from the apartment closing the door behind her. Her breathing was ragged even before she began running for the rooftop.

Vaulting up the stairs Kanra burst through the hefty door before the tears began to fall streaming down her cheeks. Her legs became useless flying out from underneath her. Knees scraping across the rough concrete, Kanra hung her head in her hands giving a soundless scream.

Izaya wouldn't pick up the phone, Shizuo was unconscious. Her lover's weren't by her side. Right now she was alone as Mikado had been in his home town.

x-x-x

"What's the plan then?" Izaya asked one arm thrown over his face. He had carelessly charged in full of anger like his protozoan lover. The result had been overpowered by the dullahan leaving him on the floor.

His knife was somewhere under the sofa, Celty's shadow wrapped around his throat in warning. She wasn't going to budge. Not until she had concrete evidence from him or Shinra. Even then she would probably only trust Shinra.

His ankles were bound together looking like the beginning of some bizarre mummification ritual. The shadow underneath his head seemed to be keeping it bound to the floor.

_I'm waiting for Shinra. _

"Of course you are." Izaya rolled his eyes reaching into his pocket. He did have another three knives but it would be a pointless exercise to flaunt those. Instead he pulled out the phone from his pocket. A tendril snaked around his arm. "I'm late for check in. Kanra has probably been ringing non-stop."

Celty's hold relented giving him easier access to the phone. Izaya's brow furrowed hearing the call go to voice mail. "Celty-san, where is Anri-chan?"

_Why? _The shadowy question slithered across the wall within his peripheral vision.

"Assuming you're not going to let me out even if I tell you I won't touch Shizu-chan's precious little brother, I'm loathe to leave Kanra alone for long periods of time. She tends to get in trouble quite often."

_I'm not letting you go_.

"Didn't think so. Send Anri around to see her then."

_Stay there._

Izaya managed a shrug. "Where am I going to go? You and Shinra must be into some kinky stuff." With a hiss his face whipped to the side. Poking his tongue out he licked at the cut across his cheek.

_I don't trust you. Did you do this to Shizuo?_

Izaya narrowed his gaze his mouth set in a thin line. "Watch yourself. I didn't do this. Did you forget that Shizu-chan is my lover? Last time I checked I didn't screw those I hate."

The informant was stuck waiting for an unknown conversation between Celty and Anri as well as Celty and Shinra. It was more of an annoyance waiting for something to happen. Still it gave him ample time to slip a knife from his pocket stabbing at the shadowy substance. Izaya was left disappointed as the blade bent to the side useless.

The knife clattered to the floor as his back crashed against the wall kept bound by more inky shadows. The wind was knocked out of him leaving him painfully vulnerable.

_I've asked Anri to go and see Kanra. _Celty shoved the screen in front of him.

"I suppose I should say thank you. Except I could be done with Kasuka-kun by now and there myself. If anything happens to Shizu-chan, I'm holding you responsible."

_Is that a threat?_

Izaya closed his eyes falling silent. There wasn't much to do suspended above the floor. He would have to trust Shinra and Anri to watch over his lovers whilst he got around the dullahan. Humans were easy. Legendary creatures- not so much.

x-x-x

Kanra took a deep breath wiping her eyes dry with her sleeve. "Sorry about that. Something urgent came up." Forcing a smile she returned to her desk.

"Nothing bad I hope." Mikado's mother looked concerned.

"We're here for you not me. Carry on. You wanted to talk about your son." Kanra wasn't sure how much more punishment she could take.

"Yes. We brought him a computer. Mikado looked so happy. He didn't need help setting it up. We wouldn't have been able to help any way. Computers weren't our thing. Mikado loved it unwrapping the gift, putting all the pieces together."

Kanra opened the desk drawer her hands trembling as she passed over a box of tissues. Mikado's mother was crying.

"Sorry about this." Mikado's father sighed placing an arm around the woman. "We haven't spoke about him in so long. Our counsellor told us that talking would help."

Kanra retreated back against the window pretending to check something. "I'm sorry, I don't have much expertise in psychological issues. Izaya-nii is much better at this sort of thing. I can reschedule-"

"That's okay." Mikado's mother sniffed. "This is helping. You remind me of him. The curiosity in your eyes. I thought so when we bumped into you. Won't you hear us out?"

Kanra nodded numbly her tongue felt thick and as useless as the rest of her body. Even if she wanted to run back the rooftop her legs refused to move.

"Thank you. The age of technology is advancing. On the news now you hear about people getting in trouble after meeting up with strangers in chat rooms. I can't help but think if we had monitored what he was doing- something like this wouldn't have happened."

"You're wrong." Kanra rasped speaking out before she could stop herself. "Your son loved you. He was thankful for everything you'd done. It was his curiosity that brought him to Ikebukuro. A sense of adventure to explore something new, something exciting. You did nothing wrong!"

Kanra flinched staring in shock at the woman standing up. "Thank you." Mikado's mother breathed arms wrapped around her. "Thank you. It warms my heart to know Mikado had such good friends. If you don't mind can we talk again?"

Kanra whimpered her own arms threading around the sobbing woman. "I think it's time for us to leave." Mikado's father stood gently pulling his wife back. "It was good to meet you."

"Wait!" Kanra cried out standing quickly arm outstretched. Her eyes widened seeing the front door open Anri was standing in the doorway. "...you'll have to let me know ahead of time." Kanra ended lamely letting her arm drop by her side.

"Thank you." Mikado's mother smiled sadly. The pair of them left the apartment. Kanra slumped in her chair.

"I can't do this." She choked beginning to shake. "I can't do this any more." Looking up she stared into Anri's eyes. "I don't want to hurt anyone any more." Kanra sobbed.

"...it's necessary." Anri whispered embracing her. "This is so you can live."

Kanra shook her head. "I'm living a lie. My- Mikado's parents are suffering! What am I supposed to do? I can't do this."

"Yes you can." Anri whispered softly. "You can do this. One day maybe you'll be able to become your old self. It's not over. You're still alive." Kanra raised her head tears streaming down her cheeks. "I believe in you."

"What if I don't? I don't know who I am any more."

x-x-x

"Aren't you going to get that?" Izaya drawled hearing the phone ring. A pointless feat since it looked like whoever was on the other end was forgetting that the dullahan couldn't speak.

Sliding his eyes to the side Izaya glared at the door he knew the traitor actor was behind. All of a sudden a voice came over the phone. _"Celty, Izaya is there right?" _

"Hey, Shinra." Izaya called out. "Can you call off your guard bitch?"

_"Izaya, you need to get back to the hospital. Now!"_

He could hear the panic in Shinra's voice. "What happened? Did you find anything on the tox screen?"

_"Izaya, Shizuo's gone." _The silence that filled the room was deafening. The illegal doctor didn't wait long to continue with the bad news. _"After you left the nurses started paying more attention to Shizuo. They said there were some tests to do forcing us from the room."_

"You left him alone?"

_"We didn't have a choice. We were forced to stay in the waiting room or be ejected from the hospital by security. We waited for a while. Shizuo's boss snuck back to check on him. The room is empty. The nurses have no recollection of him or a medical file to say he was even admitted. I can't explain it." _

Izaya slumped to the floor released from Celty's shadows now that she knew this wasn't his fault. Head in his hands he didn't bother reaching for his phone or a knife. There was only one explanation given the current events.

"Kasuka-kun, are you happy now? Shizu-chan was taken away. He's vulnerable and in no control of his actions." Izaya yelled out slamming his fist against the door. "Both of you are responsible for this. I won't forgive either one of you."

_I'm sorry. _Izaya slapped the phone away watching it skitter across the floor.

"Too late. If I were to take an educated guess Kasuka-kun was offered his fix if he drugged his brother. Of course the precious little brother wouldn't do something harmful." The informant laughed bitterly. "That's why he was told it wasn't dangerous at all. Maybe something to muddle Shizu-chan up a little. Am I right?"

Izaya didn't bother moving when the door inched open, the bedraggled actor looking worse for wear still sporting the grey hooded sweatshirt. "...it wasn't meant to do any physical damage. They said so."

"Pathetic." This time he did stand slapping Kasuka around the face as hard as he could before Celty pulled him back. "It causes psychological damage. Seeing as how Shizu-chan was before collapsing, it was a hallucinogenic of some sort. The protozoan thought everyone was turning against him."

Kasuka nursed his bloody cheek where Izaya's ring had scratched across. "...it's a misunderstanding-"

"That we could fix if he was here with us. If we can't talk to him we can't help him." Izaya kicked the wall in frustration. "I shouldn't have left him. Shizu-chan is gone."


	17. Ties that bind

**Ties that bind**

"I don't understand." Kanra whimpered rubbing at her tear streaked cheeks. Tears continued to fall freely as they had been since her lover had returned with bad news.

"I'll find him." Izaya whispered drawing her into his arms. "You know I will." Shizuo was gone.

"Shizuo...we shouldn't have left him alone." Kanra gasped burying her head in Izaya's chest. "We-we- this isn't fair. Kasuka-"

"Will pay for his part in the situation. Kanra, it's pointless to cry. I'll find him. I won't stop until I do."

"Who-"

"I can think of a few." The older raven's eyes were closed shutting her out. Kanra clenched her fists in the black fabric. Masaomi or Shiki. Perhaps the two of them together. It was her fault. Shizuo was gone because of her.

"Shh." Her remaining lover soothed stroking her cheek. "Don't cry. Shizu-chan can handle himself."

"But the drugs..."

"We believe in him. Can you do that?" Izaya pressed gently kissing her. With a stuttered sob, Kanra nodded. Shizuo was strong. Shizuo wouldn't let anything happen to him, not when they were waiting.

"Good girl." Izaya's arm hooked under her knees, lifting her against him bridal style.

"...I met Mikado's parents today."

"How do you feel?" Crimson orbs flicked down studying her reaction. Kanra closed her eyes.

"...I don't want to talk about it." She murmured.

"Understandable. I'm here if you need me." Izaya murmured carrying her into the bedroom. Gently she was laid on the bed, tucked up under the covers. "Get some sleep. It's been a long day."

"Izaya. Please don't go." Kanra begged snatching Izaya's sleeve. "I don't want-"

"Shh. I'll be back in a minute. Let me get my laptop. I need to begin searching, ne?" Reluctantly the younger raven let go, watching with wide eyes as her remaining lover left her alone.

The informant kept his word laptop under his arm, returning to her side. "I should help!"

"You should sleep." Izaya scolded lightly flopping down next to her. The bed felt too big with just the pair of them. She was on Shizuo's side of the bed. Reaching up her hands grabbed the blonde's pillow. Squeezing it tightly Kanra sniffled. "Shh." Izaya's hand rested lightly on top of her head.

"Sorry. I-"

"I know. Close your eyes." The laptop was tossed in the centre of the bed. Izaya shifted over pressed against her side. "I'm still here."

x-x-x

_Shizuo opened his eyes alone in a small bed- not his own. At least he didn't think so. He didn't remember anything. Looking around the strange room, he couldn't tell if he was in a familiar place or not. _

_"You're awake?" A young woman with a dark brunette bob questioned, her empty gaze examined him before she stood like a robot leaving the room. _

_"Shizuo-san!" A happy blonde grinned giving him a flourishing bow. "I was worried you wouldn't wake up. Maybe you overdid it a bit?" _

_"Overdid what?" Shizuo asked quietly gathering his wits. _

_"Being a puppet." Kida told him moving closer. "It's tiring now that your strings have been cut, isn't it?" _

_"What? I-" Shizuo shook his head in confusion. _

_"I guess you could call me the puppet collector. I seem to take in everyone broken by that bastard. First Saiki and now you. Your task has finished. You're another obsolete toy." Kida smiled sympathetically taking a seat on the bed. _

_"You mean Izaya-"_

_"Never loved you." Kida crawled straddling the blonde. "It's okay. I saved you. I'll fix you." Kida whispered taking his head in his hands, their lips pressing together. The pair slowly hit the mattress..._

x-x-x

"No!" Kanra cried sitting up. Her eyes were damp from the nightmare. To her left the bed was empty. Izaya was gone. Closing her eyes Kanra flopped back down against the pillows. What if that was what had happened? What if Masaomi was brainwashing the blonde against them?

"Kanra?" Izaya poked his head around the door. "What's wrong?"

"...had a nightmare." Kanra confessed. "What are you doing?"

"Making breakfast." Izaya told her skipping into the room to give her a kiss. "What do you fancy? I'll make you anything."

"Sorry." Kanra murmured looking down into her lap. "I'm not hungry."

"Oh. Do you want to talk about your nightmare?" Izaya offered flopping down on the bed. "A problem shared..."

"I dreamt Shizuo was with Masaomi. Masaomi was kissing and touching Shizuo." Kanra gasped shaking her head. It wouldn't happen.

"Hn. It's true Shizu-chan would be confused. I don't think Masaomi-kun would sleep with him." Izaya chuckled straightening her hair. "Ne, Kanra. I have a favour to ask. It's a big one. The Ryugamine couple called. They've asked for a chaperone around Ikebukuro."

"No!" Kanra cried shaking her head. "I can't!"

"I know. I can't do it because I have to search for Shizu-chan." Izaya stepped forward taking her hands, giving her that look. She couldn't say no. Not when the raven was looking at her so earnestly.

Hanging her head the murmured words of agreement slipped past her lips. Immediately she was filled with regret at what she had done. Once again she would be meeting with Mikado's parents.

"Thank you." Izaya smiled warmly pressing her against him. "Good luck."

"You too." It looked like her week was only going to get worse. There was nothing to be done. Not when they were one lover short.

Izaya continued to smile running his fingers through her hair. "Try to enjoy yourself, ne?"

x-x-x

The pair looked happy to see her, unfazed by the fact Izaya hadn't been able to attend to them. Kanra forced a smile reminding herself who she was. Kanra Orihara, informant, lover to Izaya and Shizuo. Extraordinary, nothing like her past life.

"Good morning." Kanra smiled. Inside she felt sick to her stomach, nausea making her feel faint. From the corner of her eye, she could see Izaya flit past. At least he had taken the time to see her meet them safely. "You've asked to know more about your son?"

"Yes, that's right." Mikado's mother answered. "Where he went to class, where he sat, what his classmates were like. We want to know everything."

"Is that going to be a problem?" Mikado's father asked eyeing her.

"No problem." Kanra reassured stuffing her hands in the pockets of her fur trimmed coat- well Izaya's. It was a comfort to have something of her lover's on her person. "Why don't we start at the edge of town?"

"The edge?" Mikado's mother questioned. "Why so far?"

Kanra raised her head feeling a cold metal touch her hand. It was one of Izaya's knives, right next to her fountain pen. Gripping it in comfort, the raven began to walk with a skip in her step. "You'll want to start at your son's old apartment, don't you?" What was left of it.

"..." The two parents glanced between one another. Kanra tilted her head seeing a sadness in the woman's eyes.

"You've already been there." Not a question. Of course that was the first place they would go. "It's okay. We'll cross that from the tour. Let's start with Raijin academy."

"Thank you." Mikado's father rested a hand on her shoulder. Kanra shivered clenching her fist tighter around the knife. "This means a lot."

x-x-x

Izaya raised his head, taking his focus from the computer. "Good morning, Shiki-san." The raven greeted cheerily despite the circumstances.

"Informant-san, you're short a person." The elder man glanced to the side, where Kanra's desk was empty. It had been a good decision to get her out of the apartment.

"Hm? Looks like it." Pushing away from the desk, Izaya span around in his chair. "What can I do for you?"

"When is the other one back?" Shiki pressed as Izaya knew he would.

"Ne, I won't do?" Izaya lounged back placing the tip of one of Kanra's pens between his lips. "I have more experience. Unless Shiki-san likes them young?" Izaya chuckled. "Uwah, that almost makes you a lolicon!"

"Informant-san, I am not amused. I will come back when your partner returns." The yakuza turned around striding from the apartment with his two goons trailing behind. Izaya's carefree smile slipped as the door closed.

"I bet you will." Reaching into his pocket, the informant hurled a knife at the door, watching as it buried itself into the thick wood. "You won't lay a finger on Mikado-kun."

X-x-x

"Here we are." Kanra held out her hands in a flourish to present the school. It helped cover up the nervousness she felt seeing the glass structure once again. "Raijin academy."

"This is where our son went to school." Mikado's mother sniffed dabbing her eyes. Kanra turned away strolling ahead, through the front gate. No one said a word to them. It looked like Izaya had already called ahead.

"That's right. I believe access has been arranged. You wanted to see the classroom, right?" Both parents nodded. "Then it's- Anri!"

"Anri?" Mikado's mother echoed. Kanra shook her head seeing that she wasn't alone for the tour. Standing at the entrance was Mikado's friend and one of her own. Kanra hadn't attended high school but the busty raven had and already graduated. Yet here she stood wearing the school uniform.

"Anri Sonohara." Kanra confirmed torn between horror and relief. "She was the class rep beside your son." It took some of the heat away from her, giving her precious moments to breathe. Another move from Izaya?

"Please to meet you, Ryugamine-san." Anri spoke quietly bowing gracefully as ever. "I was in the same class as your son." Kanra looked away seeing Anri's gaze on her. "Mikado-kun was polite, shy and he liked school. He befriended me when no one else would. I miss him."

Kanra felt a knot in her gut twist painfully. Mikado's mother stepped forward embracing Anri tightly. "Me too. He was such a darling child. I'm glad to see he had a friend like you."

It looked like things were going well, all things considering. Kanra couldn't let herself relax though, not when there was a dangerous element lurking somewhere outside the school gates. So far there hadn't been a single glimpse of a blue or yellow scarf.

The colour gangs had been children. It was a child's game for power. Mikado had been the leader of the colourless gang, as such he had been a target for the gangs cruelty. It was children that had tried to kill him. Kanra's main concern was that the gangs would come after the Ryugamines now that their son was deceased. Adults. Surely they wouldn't go after an old man and woman. Would they?

Since Izaya had let them go around without protection, it looked like they were safe-for now. Maybe no one knew that the elderly broken hearted couple were Mikado's parents.

"Kanra-chan, is it okay if Sonohara-chan comes with us?" Mikado's mother smiled sadly, trembling fingers clutching Anri's sturdy shoulder.

"It's okay with me." Anri gave a small smile. "I don't have any plans today." Like that their small group of three became four.

x-x-x

Someone hadn't realised Kanra wasn't at home. If they had they'd stop sending guests in. Izaya mused closing the door on yet another person asking for Kanra.

"If that's how you want it, Masaomi-kun." Izaya chuckled darkly turning away from the door. "It's not going to work." He had barely sat back at his desk, when the door went again.

With a business smile, the informant skipped back over for the umpteenth time to open the cursed thing. Why didn't he get this many visitors? "Yes?"

In front of him stood yet another scantily dressed hooker. Izaya sighed keeping his eyes to the wall behind the woman, since she was so short and looking down gave him a view of large breasts barely held in.

"I'm here to see Kanra Orihara." The woman smiled stretching against the door frame, her top rose up exposing a slim belly. "Would that be you, cutey?"

Izaya was tempted. So tempted to take in the naive prostitute and teach her a few things. His two lovers would probably cry if he did. No scratch that. One of them would break him in half. It wasn't the first hooker he had turned away that morning.

"_She's _not here at the moment." Izaya was already taking a step back. "Too bad." With that he closed the door wondering how long it would be until the next one. It looked like Masaomi was trying to convert Kanra away from men.

x-x-x

Mid afternoon. Mikado's parents had treated both of them to lunch after a long morning. Kanra hadn't had time to check her phone or worry about her missing tension had eased somewhat, Kanra finding herself having fun as she played tour guide to Mikado's life. The school, Celty's, Karaoke and Russian sushi. It was a good day.

The pair spoke a lot which felt like a hand wrapped around her heart, squeezing at steady intervals. Anri anchored her back to reality. She couldn't allow herself to slip. "Where would you like to go now?" She asked taking her phone from her pocket.

_Everything okay? _

Kanra smiled seeing the text flash up on her screen. Izaya was asking after her. A faint warmth heated her cheeks. "Are we interrupting?" Surprised the second informant raised her head, seeing all three of them staring at her.

"Ah. Sorry." The raven flushed apologising politely. Her fingers moved blindly replying to her lover's text. Moments later a message pinged back.

_Nothing yet. _

Shizuo hadn't been found. From the corner of her eye he could see a limo parked up. Leaning against the vehicle was a middle aged raven haired man, with a chain around his neck. Shiki. The man was looking directly at her, beckoning with a finger.


	18. If Izaya can't

**If Izaya can't**

What she was doing was a betrayal. Kanra checked her phone for yet another update only to find there wasn't one. Their missing lover was still missing and either Izaya didn't know where Shizuo was or he did and was hiding some sort of gruesome truth. Shiki popping up like a stalker throughout the tour, only prodded her to make a move. Izaya couldn't find Shizuo. Izaya was the best but he couldn't find Shizuo. If Izaya couldn't...

The moment the tour was over, Kanra found herself walking further into danger, allowing herself to be caught in the clutches of the yakuza. Wordlessly the door to the limo opened. Kanra eyed the darkness within before climbing inside despite her lovers' protests to avoid the man.

"Good evening." Shiki smiled sitting opposite her. The doors closed making her realise just how small the enclosed space was, that she herself had chosen to be in.

"Good evening." Kanra responded fingering the closed switch blade in her pocket. "You've been following me."

"I confess that I have. Your _brother _wasn't very forthcoming on your whereabouts."

"No, he can be a little possessive." She would most likely be punished if the informant found out what she was doing. "I shouldn't stay here long."

"Quite. I understand the fortissimo is missing." Kanra flinched eyeing the older man wearily. "It's a shame such a strong man was taken down so easily. Heiwajima-kun was the epitome of cool."

"He still is. Izaya might not have found him yet-"

"No luck, hm?" Shiki pounced like a hungry wolf on her slip up. "Perhaps all you need is better facilities. After all you haven't looked _yourself_. Have you?"

"I have other things to do. Izaya is the best."

"Only because you don't know better." Shiki shuffled closer to the edge of the seat, stippling his fingers. "You could outshine the informant." Kanra shivered blocking out the man's poison. She still wasn't accustomed to adult games. She was learning though. Right now she knew that getting into the limo in the first place was a really bad idea.

"I don't want to. If you'll excuse me. I have to go."

Shiki raised a brow. "Do you want me to drop you off?"

"No thank you." Reaching over Kanra pushed open the door, swinging her legs around to get out.

"Think about my offer." Shiki told her with parting words. Kanra closed the door running away from the limo in hopes no one she or Izaya knew had seen her.

x-x-x

"I'm back!" Kanra called out opening the door.

"Welcome back." Izaya called back. "The Ryugamines?"

"Escorted back to the hotel they're staying at." Kanra sighed closing the door. "Shizuo?"

"Nothing yet. How are you feeling?"

"Tired."

"Ah." Izaya huddled her in his arms. "A nice hot soak should help, hm?"

"I want to help." Kanra twisted trying to speak to her lover. "Two pairs of hands are better than one."

"Ne, I never said anything about not helping. I need you rested and alert." Izaya grinned kissing her cheek.

"Oh." The younger of the pair flushed at the assumption she had made. "Okay. D-do you want to join me?"

"Mm. You're getting brave, aren't you?" Izaya purred sliding his hands around her mid section. "We can't have too much fun without the protozoan."

"...right." Kanra broke away shaking her head. "I'll take one on my own. Find him, please." With yet another plead, Kanra trudged into the bathroom and closed the door.

x-x-x

When she came out it was to see Izaya on the phone. It looked like a serious call judging by the expression on his face. "Yeah...yeah...I know...okay...ah, Kanra."

"Everything okay?"

"Hm? Oh that? It's nothing you need to get involved in." Izaya was shutting her out. "Ne, can I ask you something?"

Kanra gasped knowing she had been caught out. Of course Izaya would find out about her little impromptu meeting with Shiki. That however wasn't it.

"Come. Sit with me." Kanra made her way over to her lover's desk, taking a seat on his lap. "What's your psychological state like, hm? It hasn't been easy for you. Have you developed a gender disorder?"

Kanra hung her head in shame. Izaya had helped her out from the start, giving her a new lease on a more interesting life. Wanting to be a boy again wasn't anything shameful. At least it shouldn't be.

"I see. Shizu-chan knew, hm? There are men's clothes hidden under yours." Izaya murmured quietly resting a hand on her knee. "There is no going back. This is your life now. Or do you regret it?"

"No! I-I'm sorry."

"Ne, Kanra. Do you love me?"

"Yes."

"And Shizu-chan?"

"Yes. I love both of you." Kanra clutched the hem of her shorts.

"Is that enough? You don't feel like you're being suppressed?" Izaya asked fingertips dancing across the skin of her knee. "Masaomi-kun seems to think you want the company of a woman. What do you think?"

Kanra flushed violently. "No! I have the two of you. It's all I want. Why are you being mean, Izaya-nii?" Kanra whined childishly. It was usually the way to cut things short.

"I see. That's okay then." Izaya smiled. The interrogation was over. "If you don't feel comfortable in women's clothes, I can find something else for you."

"Really?" Kanra brightened smiling hopefully at Izaya.

"Yeah. No frills or over the top colours. I'll tell you what, tomorrow you can wear those clothes that Shizu-chan tried to hide from me."

"Really?" She asked dubiously.

"Really." Izaya confirmed.

"You're not going to take them off?"

"Not unless you want me to." Kanra smiled swinging her legs.

"Thanks, Izaya."

x-x-x

The two of them sat at their desks ringing around the hospitals, listening to the news and chasing down bogus leads on the message boards.

Kanra put the phone down after another dead end. She had a suspicion that Shiki was involved, Masaomi too. So why weren't they confronting one or the other? Surely that was the best way to get an answer.

"Break time." Izaya sighed removing his glasses and setting them on the desk. The raven stretched his arms up over his head as he stood. "Do you want anything?"

Kanra wheeled her own chair away miserably. "No. I'm not-"

"That's not allowed. When Shizu-chan comes back, he won't be happy that you're skipping meals. You barely had anything for dinner." Izaya scolded lifting her like a sack of potatoes over his shoulder. "You can help."

"Put me down!" Kanra cried flailing wildly. "Izaya! Put me down!"

"Are you going to eat?" The informant asked patting her butt.

"Yes! Yes I'll eat!" The room span as she was quickly settled on her feet.

"Good. Hopefully there's some tuna left over~!" Izaya grinned. Kanra stopped in her tracks staring at her lover like he had another head. "What?"

"You have left over tuna?" Izaya never had left over tuna. It was gone within minutes.

"Probably. It was a busy day." The informant shrugged skipping into the kitchen. "Ah ha! Here we are." Kanra smiled shaking her head in disbelief. With a smile she took out her phone snapping a picture. "Hey!"

"It's for Shizuo. He's not going to believe me when I tell him."

"Fine." Izaya sulked taking his tuna. "There are only three pieces left. You can't have any." Kanra smiled peering into the fridge. "Ah! Don't touch Shizu-chan's pudding cups."

"I know." Kanra could see the permanent marker over them in Shizuo's writing. "This one runs out today. He wouldn't want it to go to waste." Taking the pudding cup, Kanra smiled.

"I'll make the drinks, hm?" Izaya took out the instant cocoa. "Looks like we need to go shopping. Shizu-chan will throw a fit if he doesn't have his way."

"Yeah. Izaya, we'll find him. Right?"

"Of course." Kanra smiled but she didn't feel any better. Izaya's promise felt empty.

x-x-x

Did Izaya care? Kanra knew it was unfair to be asking such a thing. Izaya did care. So then why was he sleeping like a curled up cat against her? Shouldn't he be pounding away at the keyboard?

Kanra sat up shivering at the lack of warmth. She needed Shizuo's bigger frame, his warm arms and the deep chuckle that reverberated pleasantly through her ears.

"Go to sleep." Izaya murmured moving closer. "We'll start fresh in the morning." Kanra paused shuffling back down under the covers. She had to believe in Shizuo, she had to trust in Izaya. It was all that she could do.

x-x-x

It felt strange. After an age of wearing snug fitting panties, Kanra tugged on a pair of new boxers. Izaya stood in the door frame watching her. "Are you really okay with this?" She found herself asking, still dubious.

"Yeah. It's good once in a while. We won't be leaving the apartment today so it's not like it matters what you dress like." Izaya skipped forward tugging open the drawer. "You'll look good in this hooded sweatshirt oh and these shorts. Hm, the protozoan actually has some taste."

Kanra clutched the clothes. "I'm not a dress up doll!"

Izaya simply chuckled ruffling her hair. "I'll leave you to it."

Sitting on the bed, Kanra pulled on the knee length shorts. The sweatshirt followed. Lastly was the white socks to keep her feet warm. Satisfied with the clothes, the raven hopped from the bed running into the living room. "Tada."

Izaya snapped a pic lowering his phone. "For Shizu-chan." He murmured before she could say anything. "Protozoan probably won't believe I let you dress like that. I have a few urgent cases to take care of. I'll leave Shizu-chan to you."

Kanra was floored. "What? You're giving up?"

"No, I'm taking a break. My clients aren't ones to mess around." Izaya shrugged.

"But-"

"I'll resume the search when I'm done."

Kanra clenched her fists, seething at Izaya's lack of care towards their situation. If Izaya didn't want to find Shizuo... If Izaya couldn't find Shizuo...

"Don't look at me like that. The requests are from Shiki." Izaya sighed. "He already appeared yesterday. It was lucky you weren't here."

"...Shiki-san?" Kanra mumbled quietly.

"Yeah. Be careful when you go outside, he might try and talk to you. Better me than you, ne?"

Kanra hung her head in shame. Izaya was doing everything he could. It wasn't fair to blame him. Still it was Shiki preventing her lover from searching for Shizuo. If anyone was to blame it was her.

"Kanra, should you be dawdling? Shizu-chan is waiting." Izaya ruffled her hair returning to his desk. Her lover was a master, graceful fingers poised above the keyboard. The faint clacking of the keys was a symphony of Izaya's talent. A talent she couldn't dare to match.

Silently Kanra stepped over to her own desk, fingering the power button. Her system whirled as it came to life, taking its time to load. Glancing to the side, she could see Izaya's brow was furrowed, pinched between finger and thumb. It was her fault. Shiki was overloading Izaya to prove his power over the informant. "I'm sorry."

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry. Shiki-san contacted me yesterday." Izaya visibly stiffened, pinching at the bridge of his nose. When he looked at her it was with a genuine sad smile.

"No, this is my fault. I should have warned you. What did he want?" Kanra shook her head not wanting to say. Izaya respected her privacy letting it go.

Wanting to change the subject, the younger raven thought about Shizuo and the reason for their lover's capture. Izaya had point blank refused to talk about Kasuka. Celty hadn't wanted to either, since it looked like she had stolen away the precious seconds that Shizuo could be saved. Eventually it was Shinra that told him, the disgraced actor had booked himself into rehab where he couldn't be tempted to hurt anyone else.

To Izaya and Celty that didn't make a difference but Kanra knew Shizuo would be proud of the choice his little brother had made to fix things. Shaking herself out of her thoughts, Kanra buckled down resuming her search for the fortissimo.

x-x-x

Izaya's business wasn't going so well. Kanra watched the informant rub at his eyes again, mumbling to himself. She stopped herself from reaching out in favour of chasing down a lead. She was going after Masaomi as they should have done in the first place.

It was coming up to lunch time, a phone call had Izaya shooting up from the desk. "Kanra, I need you to come with me." Before she could ask what was going on, her coat was tossed to her, Izaya putting on his own.

"But I'm dressed like-"

"Doesn't matter. Everyone knows you're Kanra Orihara. You can dress however you want."

"...okay. Is this-" Izaya was already ushering her out of the open door, keys in hand.

x-x-x

Kanra had thought it would be a lead to finding Shizuo. So why were they at the train station? Looking to Izaya for guidance, she found none. Her lover's poker face was up.

The two of them cut through the bustling crowd until Kanra spotted a familiar couple. "You should say goodbye, ne?"

"They're leaving? Already?"

"Yeah. They have their closure thanks to you. Anything you want to say, you can say now." Izaya rested a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Oh." Kanra blushed staring down at her feet.

"Orihara-san, thank you." Mikado's father shook Izaya's hand.

The four of them looked at the train that had arrived at the platform. Mikado's parents were going home. "No problem." The informant murmured leading them to the train. "Safe journey."

The pair boarded the train standing close to the doors. A few more moments to talk. Kanra stood in front of Izaya, his lover's arms draped over his shoulders. "Ne, Mikado-kun." Gentle fingers combed through her hair. "Don't come back." A harsh push in the centre of her back sent her flying into the couple's arms.

Before she realised what was going on the doors closed. Kanra tried to run from the train, held back in Mikado's father's arms. Her eyes widened seeing her wig in Izaya's hand. The informant was smiling as he waved, tears rolling down his cheeks. The doors closed, Kanra finally released, rushed over trying to open them.

Underneath her the train jerked to life, slowly rolling away from the platform. "No!" She cried banging on the door. "Let me off!" Izaya was out of sight now. Kanra ran through the carriages trying to get back to the starting point, Izaya wouldn't throw her away. He wouldn't.

The informant was possessive almost obsessed over her. Izaya wouldn't let her go. "Mikado." The platform was gone now. Kanra sank to her knees, tears rolling down her cheeks, hand pressed uselessly against the glass. "Mikado." She didn't respond as the elderly woman wrapped her arms around her trembling shoulders. She had lost Shizuo and now Izaya.


	19. Everything lost

**Everything lost**

_"No! Let me off! Let me off!" __Kanra pounded the doors with her fist. Behind her the old man grabbed at her arm, calling a name that wasn't hers. The train was getting further away from the platform. They were gone. Izaya had abandoned her just like he did the humans that bored him. _

_Too bad then that she wasn't one to give up. She still loved the informant despite his betrayal. The tears she had witnessed only served to give hope that Izaya felt the same. It wasn't goodbye. She only had to wait until the next stop. There she would get off and catch a train back to Ikebukuro- to her lovers. _

_Kanra smiled at the thought slowly standing, one hand pressed against the door. The elderly couple were trying to pull her away. "Mikado, this is for the best." But she wasn't Mikado. Sure her hair was shorter but that didn't make a difference. She was Kanra Orihara, informant. Lover of the two most dangerous in Ikebukuro. _

_"Son, we're going home. No one will hurt you again." _

_It was none of her business. "Izaya. Izaya Izaya. Izaya." The rocking of the train was making her feel sick. She couldn't wait to get off. Not long now. _

_"Mikado..."_

x-x-x

In the small town of Saitama, there was an ordinary house. In the living room was an elderly man whistling as he read the paper, catching up on the latest news, more importantly the gangs and other dangerous elements.

In the kitchen an old woman stood in front of a stove, endlessly making meals and snacks, whistling happy with the knowledge her child wasn't dead.

In the small bedroom of the house, someone opened their eyes looking around their barren surroundings. Tired blue eyes glanced down at the empty bookshelf that sat against the wall, a closet full of clothes that wouldn't fit and a large empty space next to a plug socket.

Once upon a time, an old computer had been there. It was gone now. As was every electronic device in the house. The television- gone. House phone-gone. The last link to Izaya and anyone else in Ikebukuro- gone.

A knock on the door was the only noise. It didn't take a genius to figure out who it was. "Mikado, I made breakfast."

The blue eyed figure stared at the tray in her hand. "..." Looking slowly around the room, it was clear there was no one else around. Which meant she would be talking to them. "...I'm not hungry."

"Of course you are. It's been a stressful time for you. Eventually you'll be able to go outside. Everyone in town thinks you're dead. This will be a huge shock for them." The woman continued talking setting the tray on the floor. "I'll put this here for you. Make sure you eat, hm?"

A warm fragile hand rested against their cheek, trembling as it stroked down. "I'm so happy to have you back." The blue eyed figure did nothing, arms flopped down on the covers. The woman was sobbing again holding tightly. "Make sure you eat."

Blue eyes blinked watching the woman take a step back to gaze lovingly, before backtracking from the room. The door closed with a soft click followed by the rattling of a key in the lock. Numbly getting out of bed, pain shot through their gut. Lifting up the hem of a pyjama top, revealed a reddish area around the abdomen. Curious fingers probed at the tender skin. The old man had more strength than he let on. Enough to knock them out.

Izaya would say that it was rational for a human to want something. They do stupid things because of their needs. The old couple had come back for them. "Not for me, for you. I was happy with Izaya-nii and Shizuo."

"So was I." Izaya hadn't abandoned them. It was the old couple that had taken them prisoner. "My parents."

"Nothing to do with me." The tray of food was ignored. They were hungry but it wasn't to be trusted.

"My parents wouldn't hurt me..."

"Why does it hurt then?" Stepping from the bed, they quietly made their way over to the door testing the handle. "It's locked."

"For my protection."

"For my imprisonment." The handle rattled as they tried to open it. Tugging harder summoned the old woman from the kitchen or wherever she was.

"Mikado, is everything okay?"

"The door is locked." They responded taking a step back.

"Is it?" The key twisted, the door opening wide. "Do you need anything?"

"The toilet."

"A bath."

"Right. I'll get your things together for you." The old woman made to step into the room.

"No, that's okay. We can manage." Closing the door, they went to the closet opening the doors. "Won't these be too small?"

"They'll do for now."

"If you're sure. These are all guy clothes. You pick. Make it quick."

"These will do." A hooded white and green sweatshirt along with a pair of knee length dark green shorts.

"I suppose so."

Opening the door, the old woman was still standing there. She was smiling kindly at them holding out a fresh towel and wash cloth. "For your bath."

"Thank you." Taking the towels they waited for the woman to turn away and go back downstairs.

"It's no problem. Who were you speaking with?"

"I was talking to myself."

"Not much to do when I don't have a phone."

The woman flinched away from them. "There's no need for pointless electronics. Why don't you come down and join us after your bath?"

"Maybe." Clutching the bundle, they walked the short distance to the bathroom. "It's small."

"Yeah. My parents couldn't afford much."

"Unlike Izaya-nii." Closing the door, the lock was tugged across, the bundle falling to the floor. Over the sink was a mirror. Looking into it reflected a young man with short raven hair and striking blue eyes. "We should find a away home."

"This is my home. Well my parent's home. They thought I was dead."

"So did everyone else. Are you really going to come back to life, like nothing happened?"

"Why can't I? I'm Mikado Ryugamine."

"I'm Kanra Orihara. You're a ghost."

"I was never dead."

"You might as well have been. You couldn't be seen or no one knew you still existed."

"...My friends knew."

"Yet they accepted the new reality. Anri, Celty, Masaomi-"

"Masaomi tried to kill us. He took Shizuo away."

"Masaomi tried to kill you. He's my best friend."

"Shizuo is my lover."

"Mine too. Why are we arguing?"

"Is there anything else to do? We need to get out of here. I have a bad feeling about Izaya-nii."

"I can't leave my parents. Not now. They believed I was dead all this time. Izaya sent us away on purpose. I know he's going to do something dangerous."

"Then I should be there to help out."

"What if this is for our protection? Izaya will come and get us when it's safe. Until then, let me spend time with my parents. Kanra?" Mikado sighed turning away from the mirror when there was no answer. "Thank you. Izaya and Shizuo can both handle themselves."

x-x-x

Mikado left the bathroom feeling refreshed, the hot water had helped ease some of the kinks in his shoulders. "I'm finished with the bath." The young man told his parents.

His father smiled at him as he entered the room. "Your mother is in the kitchen." Eyeing the newspaper he watched as it was folded and stuffed down the side of the sofa.

"Right. I'll be in the bedroom if you need me." His father stood ruffling his damp hair as he passed. "Sorry about your stomach."

"I forgive you." Mikado mumbled bowing his head. "I'm sorry I pretended to be dead. Things were..."

"You don't have to explain. Orihara-san already explained everything to us. You're safe here."

"Mikado, I made your favourite." His mother smiled stepping into the room. Her eyes were wide and panicked as if she was coming to terms with his return. Mikado didn't want to think about their reactions. Which raised another question. When did his parents find out? It was obvious now that Izaya had been the one to call them. Surely he hadn't started off with something that would make his parents angry. It could've been a prank call or the informant's trolling.

What evidence had been given that his parents hadn't lost their minds or kidnapped him?

"Speak for yourself."

"Sorry?" His mother's smile faltered. Mikado blinked shaking his head.

"Nothing. I was thinking aloud." He apologised taking a seat on the small sofa. Kanra had promised not to interfere. No she hadn't. Her silence hadn't been an answer at all. As it was his gaze was staring past his mother, cataloguing everything in the room. There was no phone. Shaking his head Mikado tried to focus on his parents. It was them that deserved his attention, after everything he had put them through. "Thank you."

His mother beamed becoming teary eyed. "...you're really here."

x-x-x

"Not the smartest tool in the shed, is she?"

"She's my mother." Mikado retorted climbing into bed. His clothes had been discarded in favour for nakedness. "She thought I was dead all this time." Pulling the covers around him, the raven snuggled under the covers not concerned when there was a knock at the door.

"Mikado, goodnight."

"Goodnight." He murmured back hearing the turning of a key in the lock. He had been locked in again.

"Tch, I suppose this is their thanks for such a great tour." Kanra grumbled turning away. "Izaya-nii needs us."

"Izaya abandoned us." Mikado muttered closing his eyes.

"Shizuo didn't."

"...no, Shizuo-san didn't..." But now that they were out of Ikebukuro, Izaya wouldn't have to worry about them. Shiki would have no reason to keep the informant occupied. Masaomi wouldn't have a reason for revenge or trying to save him. "Izaya-san will have more time now." There was no answer. With a small sigh, Mikado pushed all thoughts from his mind, waiting for sleep to come. Shizuo would be fine. Just fine.

x-x-x

One day turned into two and two into four, until Mikado realised he had been back home with his parents an entire seven days. His mother and father hadn't said anything but neither had he. He had gone along with everything as his path was guided.

Day by day he could feel his body becoming lax, the small amount of muscle he had gained was slowly weakening. His sharp mind was becoming dull to the tedious day to day, inside the four walls. Kanra was dying. Mikado could feel it inside him. She spoke less using his mouth. The raven couldn't deny that he was becoming ordinary. Away from Ikebukuro he was stripped of everything that made him extraordinary.

Yet it had all started in the very house he was currently in. Tired blue eyes flickered to the wall where his computer had once been. The computer he had used to first create the Dollars. It was all gone now and Mikado couldn't hate his parents for what they had done and continued to do.

Nor could he hate Izaya for the choice his lover had made. The informant must have weighted up the options before deciding to send him away. Even now he couldn't erase the last glimpse of Izaya. The raven staring at him with tears rolling down his cheeks.

"...it could be fake." Kanra murmured for the first time that day. "Izaya-nii is a master of manipulation. Maybe he didn't love us at all."

"That's not true. You know it's not." Mikado argued quietly.

"There's one way to find out..." Kanra supplied, her voice fading away to nothing. Mikado shook his head looking up at his mother as she entered the room. Wordlessly he set the crossword book to one side.

His mother joined him on the sofa, arms wrapped around him. Staying still Mikado let her confirm his presence. Her hands trembled as she pressed them against his back. "You're here. You're really here."

"Yes, I'm here." Mikado whispered his own arms around his mother. There was no amount of apologising that could make up for what he had put his parents through. It didn't mean he wouldn't try. His parents hadn't asked but Mikado could see it in their eyes. What happened in Ikebukuro stayed in Ikebukuro. It was why Izaya had sent him away. So why hadn't he just left in the beginning? Why hadn't he escaped the bustling gang warred town for the safety of his own home town?

Mikado felt his lips twitch into a smile. It had been boring. Everyday was one more thread of normality. Dull, uninteresting and tedious. Day after day had been the same. It was Izaya that had been his red string of fate, brightening his world. It was Shizuo that had shown him what extraordinary really was.

If he had returned to normality he would have been living everyday like he had been. Most likely he would still have access to the computer. The birth of Kanra had been an awakening. For their time together he had been one of the trio. The strongest threesome in Ikebukuro.

"You're giving it all up?"

"Mikado?" His mother asked giving him a strange look. The raven smiled reassuringly convincing his mother that he wasn't going mad.

"Thinking aloud." Mikado gave the excuse resting his head on the woman's shoulder. He wasn't giving anything up. Not his parents and not Izaya or Shizuo. "Just a little longer." He promised. A little longer before he threw himself back into the fire.


	20. Cruel truth

**Cruel truth**

Mikado was feeling the strain. His spirit was being crushed under the boredom of everyday life. The hours dragged painfully slow. His parents especially his mother tried to placate him with games but it wasn't enough. The loss of technology was a small blow compared to what else he had lost. His parents were accommodating yet he was starving. For the warmth of his lovers and the excitement of the town.

His legs felt useless since the bed was where he stayed unless using the toilet or when his father complained he wasn't spending enough time with his mother. Everything was becoming static, the raven stuck in a tedious routine. There was no need to think about anything. His path was set out before him like a clockwork toy. It wouldn't be long until his mother came to tell him dinner would be ready soon. It would be his favourite again. The same meal set in front of him like it was a loop. The same routine, the same food, the same questions.

"You were the one that wanted to stay." Kanra whispered quietly smothering a yawn. "The longer you stay, the worse things will become."

"No." Mikado disagreed shaking his head. "The door isn't locked any more. My parents are coming to terms with my return." At least that was what he hoped. His counterpart said nothing choosing to ignore him.

x-x-x

Mikado paced his room for the umpteenth time that morning. It was one simple question. One request that wouldn't necessary guarantee his death. All he had to do was ask his parents if he could go home.

Gathering his courage, the raven left his room in search of his mother and father. Both of them were downstairs sitting on the sofa. Taking the steps one at a time, Mikado paused eavesdropping on their conversation.

"You should be going back to work soon. My boss already called. There's only so much time I can take off without getting fired."

"I will. I wanted to make sure everything was okay here first. I'll go back tomorrow."

"Are you going to tell him?" Mikado craned forward trying to listen closer. "They were close."

"Not right now. He'd only want to go running back. This way our son stays safe." Wordlessly Mikado trudged back up the stairs. His parents had no intention of letting him go.

"It sounds like something happened." Kanra helpfully supplied.

"They would tell me if it was anything bad." Mikado uttered quietly. Only moments ago had he just heard his father say that something had happened. To his friends? To Izaya? Shizuo?

"You're sure about that, hm?" Kanra tilted her head, cold humour in her eyes. "Tomorrow there's only your doting mother in the house."

Mikado closed his eyes. He didn't want to cause his parents any more pain. "Let me see if there's any information in the house. If that doesn't work out..."

"Then we do it my way."

"Yeah." He just hoped it wouldn't have to come to that.

x-x-x

With his father's absence, Mikado's mother became his shadow following him around, giving him loving looks and genuinely messing up his plan to search the house. Every time he thought she'd left him alone, the woman would pop back up like a phantom. Her tenacity was terrifying.

So much so that an entire day had been wasted trying to avoid suspicion. Another day blind to the world trapped in a prison of his own making. Not that he let his disgruntlement show. No. Like the good, polite boy his parents loved, Mikado played happy families. Maybe if he closed his eyes he could believe this was what he really wanted.

"Ryugamine-san. What's the plan now?" Almost. Kanra was becoming more desperate. His parents knew something was up. It probably wouldn't be long until he was taken to a therapist. She did raise a good point though. Did his parents plan on keeping him in the house indefinitely.

"Mikado? What do you mean? You don't want to go back to that awful place, do you?"

"I didn't mean Ikebukuro." Mikado quickly took over. "I was talking about here in Saitama."

"Oh!" His mother looked pleasantly surprised. "We didn't think that far ahead. Do you think you're ready? Maybe a few more days..."

"Maybe. I just wanted to take my mind off things." Mikado smiled ending the subject. In the back of his mind he knew the good boy act wouldn't work. It was down to Kanra's methods.

x-x-x

"Did I mention I hate your clothes?" Kanra complained looking at his choice.

"Frequently." Mikado whispered. "Be quiet. We don't know if they're asleep."

"Yes we do. Can't you hear the snoring?" Kanra chuckled under her breath. "I'm surprised you got any sleep as a kid."

"They're my parents. Don't insult them!" Mikado tugged off his pyjama pants reaching for the jeans set out. "I don't want them getting hurt."

Kanra shook her head pulling on the white and green hooded sweatshirt. It was a little on the short side leaving her wrists on view. "Too late for that. I'm going back to Ikebukuro."

"Kanra..."

"If you don't like it, stay out of my way!"

Mikado stayed silent wanting no part in what they were about to do. Kanra was already tiptoeing across to his parents' room. The door opened a touch allowing their slim fingers to gently ease the door open enough to get through.

In the darkness they passed across the soft carpet towards the bedside table. Two sets of snoring could be heard on the bed. Slowly they dropped to their knees, crawling at the side of the bed. Mikado didn't utter a sound yet inside he was squirming at the crime they were committing.

In their hands was his mother's handbag. Clutching it tightly they lifted themselves to a crouch, quickening their retreat. Mikado quietly closed the door flopping down on the bed. "What did we just do?" He groaned quietly. "I just stole from my mother!"

"Oh shut up." Kanra hissed back emptying the contents on the bed. "Let's see phone, wallet, keys. There's enough in here for a ticket and maybe a couple of meals."

"I stole from my mother." Mikado repeated. "I'm a horrible son."

"Yeah you are." Kanra grinned taking the phone and the money out of the wallet. Stuffing the contents into the front pocket, they slipped out of the bedroom, tiptoeing down the stairs and out of the front door.

x-x-x

_"The number you have dialled is no longer in service." _Mikado listened to the same message for the umpteenth time. They had agreed on trying to call Izaya. Surely if it had come from his mother or father's phone then Izaya would pick up.

"Did you get the number wrong?" Kanra asked already typing in the number again.

"I know Izaya's number." Mikado argued. "See it's the same thing."

"So something happened to Izaya-nii?"

"Or he changed his number."

"Which means he didn't want us or my parents contacting him." Kanra concluded. "So we have been abandoned."

"Maybe not." Mikado sighed trying to think of the positives. Kanra was on tenter hooks as it was. Not to mention she was the craftiest out of the two of them.

They would find out soon anyway. The ticket for the train had been purchased, leaving only the waiting. "I'm not getting through. Do you think Shizuo abandoned me?"

"I don't think so." Mikado murmured through chattering teeth. Stuffing the phone back in his pocket, the raven folded his arms wishing he had brought a coat along for the journey. "What time is the train?"

"Last one is in fifteen minutes." Kanra answered. "Your parents shouldn't know we're gone until morning. There is one problem."

"What's that?" Mikado looked around in the darkness of the station.

"You're dead. To everyone in Ikebukuro I mean. It's going to be trouble if you turn up like that."

"I'm not dressing as a girl!"

"Why not? You think _I _like dressing as a boy? We both have to make sacrifices here or we'll be the sacrifices. I'd hate to think of what the gangs will do if they find you. Maybe another trip to the flames."

Mikado shuddered and not because of the cold. Kanra was right. The only allies he had in Ikebukuro were his lovers and those that were still his friends. His overprotective parents had basically imprisoned him upon knowing he was alive.

"Ah. The train is here." Kanra chirped rubbing their hands together. "At least we get to be warm whilst we wait."

"...yeah."

Apart from the two passengers that got off, Mikado was the sole person on the train. Walking through the empty carriages, he made his way to the front choosing the best seat that would hide him. Just in case his parents did find out he was gone.

"Shouldn't we get rid of the phone?" Kanra tugged the hood over her head. "How do you deal with short hair? It's so boring."

"I'm a boy." Mikado pointed out resting his head against the window.

"So? It feels good when Izaya-nii and Shizuo play with it. Right? You should definitely grow it out."

"I like it short."

"Well I like it long." Kanra sulked. "Do you think Izaya-nii found Shizuo?"

"You already asked me that. I hope so."

"So it's just the two of them together? Like a happily married couple."

Mikado shuddered feeling Kanra's mood drop drastically. "Izaya and Shizuo would never be like a happily married couple. They wouldn't have even got together if not for you."

"That's true. They'd be a mess without me. They'll still have their rough play. Did you know they go out of their way to be gentle with me? Izaya-nii will be so happy to see me."

x-x-x

Mikado sat still, curled up in his seat. The train was moving now. Kanra kept turning around to peer over the seat. The carriages were empty and there was no sign of his parents.

"We made it."

"Not yet. We're not in Ikebukuro yet."

"That's true. Will Izaya-nii really be happy to see us?"

"I don't know Kanra." Mikado was trying to be polite but the girl was irritating with the same questions.

"Boring. No wonder you died."

"I wanted to be extraordinary, not obnoxious." Mikado murmured staring out of the window. There was little to see except for the darkened sky and blurs of trees.

"I'm not obnoxious. I'm happy being me. I'm the opposite to you in every way." Kanra fidgeted sitting cross legged in their seat.

"The only thing we have in common is Izaya and Shizuo." Mikado sighed placing his feet back on the floor. "We're almost there."

x-x-x

Ikebukuro. Mikado stepped off the train minding other people. This time he didn't have any luggage with him. All he had was his mother's phone that didn't connect to the Internet and what was left in his mother's wallet.

"Let's go!" Kanra was excited to be back wanting to run ahead. Mikado was more reserved a dark foreboding stopping him from moving. "Come on! Izaya-nii is waiting."

Lowering his head, his fingers nervously tugged the hood down as far over his face as it would go. It was still dark out and that was when the gangs were most active. All it would take is one glimpse by the wrong person and they were in trouble. Everything he and Izaya worked so hard for would go down the drain.

"Mi-ka-do~! What's taking so long? Not scared are you?"

"We can't be here." Mikado clutched at his chest. "Not me. I can't be seen."

"We won't be seen. Let's call a cab."

"We don't have the money to pay for one."

"No. But Izaya-nii does. We can collect the money after. It's the quickest way home. You do want to go home, right?"

"Yeah." Mikado's eyes flicked from left to right as he slowly straightened up. "I want to see them just as badly."

"Doubtful. I love Izaya-nii and Shizuo the most!" Kanra grinned taking the phone from her pocket. "It's lucky your mother doesn't delete anything. Here we go."

x-x-x

"Why are you out so late?" The driver asked. Mikado sighed leaning back against the seat. "It would have been better to arrive in the morning."

"It was an emergency." Kanra answered. "We didn't even have time to pack. Thanks for still being open."

"Well it's for people like you. The streets are dangerous at night."

"That's true." Kanra grinned. "All the gangs and the nightlife."

"Not to mention the crazy shit that happened last week. You chose a good time to come back."

"Crazy shit? Like what?"

"You didn't hear about it? Where were you? Under a rock? The gangs went at it like it like they had nothing to lose. Half of the members on each side were hospitalised but get this. They say it was all orchestrated by one guy. Must be one hell of a guy to cause that much damage!"

"Hehe." Kanra smiled. "It's Izaya-nii."

"You're here to see your brother?"

"Mmhm. It's just down this road." Kanra instructed. "Third buil-what?"

"What's wrong? Oh that building? There was a fire last week. The apartment at the top was the cause. The windows blew out. The firefighters managed to save the building but it's burnt out. It's scheduled for demolition."

Kanra stared up at the blackened stone. There was nothing left, just a hollowed out shell. "It's not anything to cry about."

Kanra sniffled. "It's my home." The place where she, Izaya and Shizuo had been living.

"Oh. Well they didn't find any bodies or anything so...is there anywhere else you want to go?"

"I don't have enough money." Kanra sobbed.

"That's okay. I can imagine it's a shock for you. Is there anywhere else you want to go?" Kanra shook her head numbly. First Shizuo and now Izaya. Everyone was disappearing.


	21. Duality

**Duality**

The cab driver was nice enough to waver the driving cost but that was as far as the man's kindness went. It hadn't helped that neither he nor his counterpart had been very cooperative. Mikado stood outside the burnt out apartment, staring up at the place he had been so happy.

"Not you. Me." Kanra whispered.

Mikado said nothing taking the first step forward in disbelief. No matter how long he stared up at the damage, he couldn't believe Izaya would let it happen or that the informant was no longer alive. Another step forward and the raven reached one numb hand, wiping at his eyes. He was back in Ikebukuro. They were back in Ikebukuro and Izaya had yet to show. There had been no welcoming party or even a whisper about their return. Another step forward towards the police tape and Kanra piped up from the quicksand of misery the pair of them were slowing being swallowed by.

"...where's Izaya-nii?"

"I don't know." Mikado answered numbly, grabbing at the tape. "I don't know where he is." Wrenching up the tape, the raven ducked underneath trudging into the building.

"...it's unsafe."

"I know."

"...we shouldn't go in." Kanra murmured.

"It's our home."

"It's a burnt out shell. You know who's to blame."

Mikado closed his eyes, taking a step backwards. Kanra was right. What was left of the building was a death trap. Shizuo and Izaya would scold him non stop if they knew he had endangered his life. But that wasn't all. The air was stained with the cloying smell of fire.

Staring down at his knees, the raven witnessed the shaking of his legs. Even if he wanted to go further...he wouldn't be able to. Clutching at his hood, Mikado took one last long look at his home. Turning sharply he ran from the building blindly down the street.

x-x-x

"Where are we?" Kanra muttered.

"I don't know." Mikado answered listlessly. He had been walking without a destination in mind. Time to think was his goal and that had certainly been accomplished, along with getting lost in a town that thought he was dead.

His surroundings were getting easier to see, the sun beginning to rise in the horizon. Mikado might have uttered that it was beautiful in a less troublesome time.

"Where do we go?"

"I don't know." Kanra answered. "You're not safe here."

"...I don't care." Mikado shrugged trudging forward. His feet were aching from the long burst of exercise, given that he had been trapped in a house with nowhere to move. "If Izaya isn't-"

"Then what about Shizuo?" Kanra stopped them in their tracks. Mikado looked down bleakly at his hand. It wasn't his hand, it wasn't his will. Kanra was moving it, slapping him on the head. "We don't know what happened whilst we were away."

"We got sent away."

"Maybe it was for our own good." Mikado stared at his feet, watching as they moved forward one step in front of another. "We should rest."

"We will. As soon as we find somewhere safe. I think I recognise this place." Kanra took control pushing them forward.

"Do you?" Mikado asked hearing a car whizz past them. Lowering his head, the hood was tugged further over his face making him look like a street rat.

"...no." Kanra confessed slowing to a halt. "Sorry. Looks like-"

"We're lost." Mikado finished looking around.

"Yeah."

Slumping against the nearest wall, Mikado kept one hand on the hood in a tight grip and the other over his heart; the organ thumping like crazy, painful. The blood rushed to his head, the pounding getting louder. A panic attack, the raven realised slowly sliding down the wall.

"They're going to kill me." He rasped.

"Maybe maim you a little." Kanra supplied forcing their body to stand. "Come on. We can at least find someone to help. Celty or Anri."

"We're lost and-" tired blue eyes widened seeing his view blocked. A long black limo slowly pulled up on the road in front of them. Mikado shrank back as the door opened. "No."

Two burly men stepped outside striding over to him menacingly. Mikado went to run, caught between the pair. His foot made a connection to the back of the brute's knee and the man didn't flinch.

Kanra kicked, punched and clawed at the men trying to get free. The darkness of the interior was getting closer, Mikado flew to the floor hearing the door close behind him. At his eye level he stared at the black leather shoes and the ends of white pants. From above a chilling aura had him shivering where he lay.

"Mikado Ryugamine. It's been a while. Please sit. I apologise for my subordinates rough handling."

Scrambling up onto the seat, Mikado stared nervously across at the yakuza. "...That's okay."

"A lot has happened whilst you've been away." Shiki explained. "It's not safe for you to be wandering around like that."

"Where's Izaya-nii?" Kanra asked folding her arms. Leaning back against the seat, she was much more brazen and confident than he could ever hope to be. She was the one that looked the yakuza straight in the eye, demanding the truth.

"Ah. I'm afraid I don't know. I'd like to know that myself. There were quite a few cases pending before his disappearance."

"Our home was destroyed. Did you have a part in that?" Kanra demanded crossing one leg over the other. "Were you angry Izaya-nii sent me away?"

The elder man smiled leaning forward. "No. I didn't have a part in the fire. I was quite put out when I found out you were no longer available. Still you're back now."

"Then Shizuo! Did you have anything to do with his disappearance?"

"No. I didn't. Kidnapping isn't a method I use."

"You've kidnapped me now." Kanra pointed out. "I wasn't asked."

"For your safety." Shiki shrugged leaning back again. "Quite reckless of you to roam around without a disguise."

Mikado averted his eyes. "...we didn't have time."

"I assume you didn't know about Izaya or you wouldn't have run away from home."

"_This _is my home." Kanra declared. "Izaya-nii and Shizuo are my lovers. I want to see them!"

"Then perhaps we can help each other." The yakuza smiled. Mikado shuddered feeling the limo move.

x-x-x

Both Mikado and Kanra had their suspicions before but led to the little room, that feeling grew. Shiki was behind them flanked by the two muscled bodyguards. The room was a dressing room with a makeup dresser and a closet. Mikado warily eyed the bed and the door which would connect to an en suite bathroom.

"Use the room how you see fit."

"Wait! We didn't agree to anything!" Kanra spun around on her heel. The door was already closing. "Hey!" Click. "Damn. Another prison just a different place."

Mikado slumped against the door giving up on tugging at the handle. Locked. The room was bigger than his own back at home. "Maybe it's just temporary."

"That's what you said about your parents." Kanra grumbled. "Let's get changed and get out of here." Mikado scowled over at the mirror.

"I'm not dressing as a girl."

"I'm not dressing as a guy!" Kanra argued taking a seat. With a smile she took the makeup brush. Mikado smacked it away with his other hand. "Hey!"

"No makeup!" Mikado clutched the edge of the dresser hanging on tightly. Kanra wrestled for control trying to reach for the brush. "Please."

"Fine." His counterpart relented. "Let's put the contact lenses in. Ah, they're already ready." Kanra smiled gently lowering her finger into the solution. "Shiki is thorough."

"And dangerous." Mikado murmured glancing worriedly at the door. Looking back to the mirror he could see one vermilion eye staring back at him. Flinching back he whacked the small pot from the dresser.

"Hey!" Kanra snapped glaring at him. "What's the deal?" Walking over to the mess, the raven crouched down carefully reaching for the delicate lens. Mikado stood up crushing the lens underfoot. "What is your problem? I thought you wanted to live?"

"Not by becoming you. I'm not hiding anymore." Mikado spoke quickly. "I'm not being suppressed."

Kanra sighed shaking her head. They were back at the mirror looking at the reflection. "I suppose it's fine. It's a bit edgy. I won't wear any makeup. It's not like we need it."

"Really?" Mikado asked quietly. "What about the skirt?"

"We haven't got that far yet. Next is the wig." Kanra glanced at the mannequin head, lifting the long ebony wig to balance on her fingers. "Maybe it's a bit long." In the first drawer they found a pair of scissors. "I'll cut it."

Snip snip snip.

Mikado affixed the wig grimacing at both the length and the erratic cuts. His fingers pinched at the ruined ends. "Izaya trained you with a knife..."

"Yeah. What about it?"

Mikado sighed taking the scissors in hand. "...you can't cut straight with scissors."

Snip snip snip.

"Like you can do any better." Kanra smirked. "It's too short on one side."

"It's asymmetric." Mikado shrugged placing the scissors down. "Let's leave it and choose the clothes."

"Yeah." Kanra turned around glancing at the rails. "There's certainly a lot set out for us. No skirts, right?"

x-x-x

The door was unlocked. Kanra was the first to point it out. It had only been an hour since their arrival. Opening the door, two guards standing either side towered over him. "Boss wants to see you." The first grunted walking away.

Closing the door, Mikado followed tugging at the rollover of the sweater Kanra had decided to wear. The dark jeans were fine, they didn't have any outlandish patterns or girly qualities. They were a comfortable fit too.

Shiki was being very hospitable despite locking them in, going so far as to supply them with weapons. A small penknife which Kanra had no problem using. They hadn't agreed to anything except for accepting help in a disguise. It had been stupid to think they could get something for nothing.

Another room. This one was small with only a group of sofas. Shiki sat in the one facing the door. "I see you've found everything okay."

"Yes, thank you." Mikado spoke for them.

"What are your plans now?"

"To see Masaomi. If you didn't have anything to do with Shizuo disappearing or the fire then he did."

"I see. I wish you good luck." Mikado stared at the small bundle held in the bodyguard's hands. "A phone for you. Call if you need anything. My offer still stands. I won't force you into anything. Your payment for my help will be to complete Izaya's unfinished cases."

Mikado cradled the bundle to his chest, slipping the phone in his pocket. "T-thank you, Shiki-san." With a small bow they were permitted to leave. Mikado walked quickly taking a speedy glance back. The bodyguards nor Shiki were following them.

"I don't trust him." Kanra grumbled. "But we can use him." Mikado nodded in agreement. As far as allies went, having the yakuza in his back pocket wasn't bad at all. "How do we find, Masaomi?"

"We don't." Mikado smiled taking out the phone. "He finds us. No doubt he'll be checking the Dollars' forum."

x-x-x

It was a running joke between them. Words only his once best friend knew. Replies that only his best friend knew. Kida knew he was back in Ikebukuro. Now it was only a moment of waiting. An abandoned warehouse. Mikado stood alone slowly moving in panoramic view.

It was bigger than the one he had initially been rescued from. The floor was dusty with panels of metal and wood strewn across the brick walls. There were two entrances. Two large double doors big enough for a small van and the small door at the top, accessible from the balcony overseeing the floor.

Mikado was standing on the balcony leaning against the railing. His footsteps clanged against the thick metal sheet underneath. It was difficult to guess which entrance the blonde would use. The stairs outside or the main. The choice was fifty fifty.

"Are you going to be ready?" Kanra asked dubiously flicking the switch-blade open and closed. "This guy is your best friend."

"Was." Mikado sighed. "If he's hurt Izaya and Shizuo..."

"Good." Kanra smiled.

Below them the door rattled. "I win." Mikado told his counterpart. "No skirts for a week."

"Fine." Kanra sighed. "Being the leader of the yellow scarves, I was sure he'd be smart and use the better access door."

"Mikado?" His old friend's voice rang out echoing inside he warehouse. "Mikado?"

"Masaomi." Mikado called leaning over the rail. "You came. I hoped you would."

"I hoped you wouldn't." The blonde called up. Mikado eyed the baseball bat held in one hand. Not the sort of thing to carry around when visiting a friend. "Why are you back here?"

"Why did you set my home on fire?" Kanra snapped sending the blonde a heated glare.

"I was angry. I knew you'd gone back but that bastard still needed to be taught a lesson. You look good. Not sure what's with the new look but I guess you can't go around as your self."

Mikado recoiled hearing the truth. His old friend had been the one to destroy their home. "Where's Shizuo?" The raven steeled himself. Finally he was getting somewhere.

"No idea. Come down and we can talk."

"You're free to come up here." Kanra shrugged. "You drugged Shizuo. Where is he?"

"No idea. I just said that."

"Then Izaya. Where's he?"

"Don't know don't care. The bastard set the gangs on a path of destruction and vanished. I've got no idea where he is!"

"He's lying." Kanra whispered.

"I know." Mikado whispered back. Looking down at the blonde, he raised his voice. "You were the one that got Kasuka-san into drugs. You were the one that got him to drug Shizuo!"

"Mikado, I did that for you. To save you from them-"

"Where's Shizuo?"

"I don't know."

"Where is Shizuo?" Kanra raged running across the balcony. Slowly she made her way down the stairs clutching the knife.

"I don't know." Kida held the bat out in front of him like a kendo sword. "Come on, we're friends. I wouldn't lie to you. I don't know where either them are."

"Square root of three." Mikado murmured. Kanra ran forward swinging the knife down. "You took Shizuo from the hospital."

"That was the plan. The drugs made him confused and paranoid. I only wanted to break you up."

"Liar!" Kanra lunged forward, the blade finding purchase in the wooden bat. "Shit."

"Mikado, I saved you."

"And I'm going to kill you." Kanra cried wrenching the knife free.

The blonde jumped back swinging wildly to warn against any advances. "It looks like I have to save you from yourself too."

"So be it." Mikado shrugged reaching into his pocket. Shiki was nice enough to supply them with stationary too. Taking out the silver fountain pen, the raven weighed it in his hand, smiling at the familiarity. "I'll get the answers from you the hard way."

x-x-x

The glass clinked as it tapped lightly against the counter. The fridge door gave a small squeak as it opened. A carton of milk left the side door, the top opened and the creamy cold beverage sloshed against the inside of the glass as it was poured in.

The carton was left on the counter, the full glass carried from the kitchen into the adjacent bedroom. Quietly it was set on the small bedside table next to a large wooden bed.

With a small smile the curtains were pulled open letting light into the bedroom. The pillow on the left was fluffed and replaced, attention turning to the sleeping figure curled up on the right side of the bed. "Nii-san, it's time to wake up."


	22. Once bitten

**Once bitten**

After Mikado's exit...

That was it. Everything was over. The game had played out, the result determined and their precious lover whisked away to safety. The aftermath of those left behind though was brutal. Izaya stood numbly at the platform staring after the departed train. Reaching up he used the sleeve of his jacket to wipe away the tears streaking down his cheeks. "Strange." The informant murmured. He didn't recall ever feeling so empty. It was as if a piece of him had been ripped away.

The world however moved on. The parting of his lover was huge but to the rest of humanity, it was a pebble in an ocean. It would be another hour for the next train. A train going to the same destination. Izaya stared down at his feet perplexed. His legs refused to work. Still it was okay. He still had an hour to walk away, to make sure he didn't break his promise to the Ryugamines.

It was safer for Mikado to go back to normality. His parents would stop him from jumping off at the next stop. The teen wouldn't be back nor could Izaya follow after him. "...ah. Shizu-chan needs to know." The informant brushed his sleeve against his cheek. At the thought of his lover, a different emotion settled in his heart. Izaya clenched his fists, an icy cold calm blanketing the small flare of excitement and relief of seeing his lover again.

x-x-x

Calmly the informant skipped along the corridor stopping in front of the door. Slowly he reached out, lightly knocking on the door. Waiting patiently, the door opened.

"Yes-" smiling sweetly Izaya jammed his foot in the opening of the door, giving Kasuka his best 'I'll try not to kill you' smile. The actor was no match for him.

"Orihara-san." The monotone voice croaked showing a tinge of fear. "How-?"

"Did I find this place? Know it was you that took Shizu-chan?" Izaya was still smiling despite the urge to embed his knife repeatedly in the younger Heiwajima's back. "You look in good health."

"...yes, I-"

"Do yourself a favour and don't lie to me. Where is Shizu-chan?"

"...Through there. In the bedroom." Izaya nodded striding past. "Don't. I'll explain everything."

"No, I think I'll hear it from both of you." Izaya grinned pushing open the door to the bedroom. "Hey, Shizu-chan. Still feeling confused? Ah. There's a phone. You didn't think to call me?"

"Izaya!" His lover uttered his name in shock.

"Me. I have a theory and I'm hoping you can tell me I've got it all wrong. Because if I haven't..." Leaving the threat linger, Izaya pulled Kasuka into the room, pushing him roughly to the floor. "Let's recap, shall we? From the beginning..."

"Izaya..." The blonde stared at him in confusion. For now the informant paid no mind to the less than subtle changes.

"Kanra thinks you're cheating, instead it turns out it's actually your addict of a brother and you're doing everything possible to make sure he's okay." Izaya held up a finger indicating his first point.

Both brothers remained silent.

"When we find out the truth, Kasuka-kun here gets taken to Shinra and you still visit. Count the three whole days you spent with him and then you pass out only to disappear from the hospital. I can't believe I fell for it. Of course Kasuka-kun is an _actor_!" Izaya shot a glare at the actor.

"So the question is when did Shizu-chan know his precious baby brother was lying?"

"Not until I was taken to Kishitani-san." Kasuka answered quietly. "I really did get forced to take the first. Instead of confessing I continued meeting the guy that wanted to hurt nii-san."

"Shizu-chan? Is this true?"

"Huh? Yeah. I found out before I let Kasuka drug me." Izaya raised a brow.

"Let? You let Kasuka drug you?"

"Yeah. It was a chance to flush that brat out. Kasuka was watching over me, the same with Shinra. He would've noticed if anything happened."

"But he didn't. The drug did its work making you believe everyone had turned against you. Then after you passed out, Kasuka-kun had his friends take you to safety?"

"Yeah." Kasuka answered.

"Why?" Izaya asked dismissing the confused blonde for now. "Why go so far when you could have just asked for help in the beginning?"

"Nii-san was worried about Kanra-chan. Each time we spoke he mentioned how worried he was."

"That has nothing to do with you." Izaya spat twirling his knife. "Your punishment is yet to come. Get out."

Kasuka stared up at him pleadingly. "Please, don't hurt nii-san."

"OUT!" Izaya thundered pointing at the door. Kasuka quickly stood fleeing from the room.

"Izaya?"

"Shizu-chan." Izaya clutched the hilt of his knife, stalking towards the bed. "Feeling better?"

"Kasuka says I'm getting there. Not paranoid anymore." Shizuo sighed. Izaya smiled. No not paranoid, not anything. The blonde didn't pick up on his mood or the danger he would be in.

"That's what happens when you take drugs, ne?"

"Guess so. Kanra not with you?"

"...no."

"I suppose that's a good thing. She'll only worry." Shizuo sighed.

"Suppose so. Shizu-chan, repeat after me. Kasuka-kun is an idiot."

"Huh? Why do I want to say that?"

"To confirm you're back to normal." Izaya hopped onto the bed, straddling his lover's thighs. "Come on."

"Kasuka-kun is an idiot."

"Good. Next one. Shizu-chan is a protozoic moron."

"Tch. Charming." The blonde grumbled. "Shizu-chan is a protozoic moron."

"That will not be forgiven." Izaya smiled as he spoke.

"That will not be forgiven. I can hear everything fine now."

"Good." Izaya grinned. "I'd _hate _it if you took everything I say the wrong way. I suppose a congratulations are in order. You knew about Kasuka and decided to go along with it. I thought you had really been taken. I thought something had happened..."

"Flea..."

"I called Mikado's parents." Izaya chuckled. "I thought it was the best thing to do given the threats that kept popping up. I put our lover on the train back home. I did that for his safety." Izaya clutched the knife tighter. "I did that because of _you_!"

"Kanra's gone?" Shizuo echoed.

"Yeah. That just leaves me and you. I'm angry Shizu-chan. I'm angry and not in the forgiving mood. So you're going to lay there and let me inflict whatever I want on you. Because if it's not you, I'll hurt my humans. Do you understand?"

Izaya's hand quivered, unable to keep the blade pressed against the blonde's throat still. This was the best option, for everyone's sake. In his current mood he was likely to do something dangerous, stupid and reckless. Something like taking Shiki out.

"...I understand." The blonde muttered quietly. "Do what you have to. I started this. If I hadn't said anything to Kasuka..."

"Shizu-chan, don't play the hero. I keep telling you it doesn't suit you." Izaya tugged the comforter down, tearing at the buttons of the blonde's nightshirt. "Until I say enough, you're nothing but my bitch."

x-x-x

Rough play. It was something they did as a tribute to the old days. The heart racing throb of adrenaline and pain blended into one. Izaya had managed to perfectly induce it into their sex life. Izaya got off on causing the pain and Shizuo took it.

Today wasn't about the old days. Shizuo felt that at the first stroke of the blade, sharp across the scar that had never been allowed to heal. Like the red string of fate, the blonde had never been able to stop scratching at it, easing the scab off each time. Shizuo knew it was his collar, the mark of possession belonging only to Izaya. The first original cut had been made in defence, a greeting of their first meeting and cocky way to tell him he was weak.

Thanks to Kanra the mark had been renewed as one of love, still possession but the first thing Izaya sought to cut along each time they were intimate together. This wasn't anything like that. Shizuo clenched his fists at his side, grit his teeth and tried not to scream or defend himself. Izaya's knife this time was _meant _to hurt. To tear into the several layers of skin until the informant could gouge out his heart in vengeance of his betrayal.

The night shirt Kasuka had got him was useless and now covered in droplets of his own blood. Shizuo closed his eyes. He didn't have to right to get angry. This was his punishment. There were no words of apology. Not from him and certainly not from Izaya. Shizuo had known what he was doing when he had found out the truth and agreed to go along with his brother's lie.

Glancing down at his chest, Shizuo could feel the sharp tip of the knife cut down deep. Izaya's shaky hand moved fluidly across his skin like butter. What was on his chest he didn't know. The growing pool of blood obscured everything from view. Shizuo stared at it wondering how far it would go. Already thin trails of blood were falling along his side, seeping along the edge of his back. Still neither one of them spoke.

He didn't move a muscle or so much as blink when the bloodied blade danced lightly across his throat. Shizuo could feel it though. The wet warmth of his own blood. Outside the door he could hear the occasional knock, braved by his younger brother.

Izaya's hand rested in the small pool gathered at his chest. Shizuo watched as one creamy hand stained red, painfully dragged through the many deep cuts, down his belly.

The blonde knew what was coming. Knew the moment he risked gazing up into his lover's eyes. "I want to kill you, Shizuo."

"I know." Shizuo answered.

"I hate you!" Izaya spat through gritted teeth.

"I know." Shizuo switched his gaze between the anger in Izaya's eyes and the blade ready to plunge down above him.

"I can't forgive you!"

"I know." Shizuo dug his nails into his palm, clenching his fists tighter. The pain Izaya was going through wasn't something he wanted.

"...I love you."

"I love you too." Shizuo answered truthfully.

"...I hate that I still love you." Izaya shook his head, tears welling in his eyes unbidden.

"...I know." Shizuo hissed at Izaya's nails scratching over his abdomen. Izaya shuffled back tearing the covers from his legs. Shizuo simply stared at his boxers, watching as the elastic was cut from his waist.

"Why? Why did you confide in Kasuka-kun?" Izaya asked in barely a whisper.

"Because you wouldn't listen." Shizuo smiled sadly, his own tears glistening.

The informant laughed tearing the remains of his boxers away. The knife fell against the covers, Izaya hands on his butt cheeks, thumbs spreading his them apart. The pain was still nothing compared to what his lover was going through.

Shizuo already expected for things to go this way. Izaya liked to hurt him in the most intimate way possible. He can feel it, the brutal friction of his inner walls as his lover shoved past the tight ring of muscle. He can't bring himself to utter a single cry or complaint. Not when he deserves it.

Shizuo deserves everything Izaya gives him. Not love or kindness but the sensation of being ripped apart, the sharp crescent shaped nails stabbing into his thigh. There's no preparation as usual, there never is. This time is different. This time it's meant to hurt.

It does. Each thrust and pull back stings, pushing against the soreness of his torn ring. Shizuo bites his lip closing his eyes, telling himself he deserves it. That it's his fault. There's a metallic scent around him mixing with Izaya's own strange scent. Coupled with the iron taste in his mouth, it's a heady potent mix bringing out the masochist in him.

It's a side Kanra never sees- would have never have been allowed to or else the dynamic of their relationship would have been in danger. It doesn't matter now. Kanra is gone...and so is Izaya. Shizuo knows that all too well.

The informant is crying, a sight that stabs into his heart. His betrayal and the loss of their lover has destroyed their relationship. Izaya isn't enjoying this, neither is he. It's the end. Shizuo can feel it in the desperate uncontrolled thrusts. Izaya hasn't kissed him- he doesn't deserve it. This is punishment, there's no room for sweetness.

The feeling of fulfilment isn't satisfying in the least. It doesn't leave him weak at the knees or his nerves thrumming. Shizuo feels tired and empty as Izaya pulls out thankfully flaccid.

"...this will be the last time." The informant murmurs reaching into his pocket. "Best make it last, ne?" With a sad cruel smile Izaya shakes the small pot noting what it says on the label. _Viagra. _Because it's over. Izaya had decided that before he had arrived. His lover was repulsed by him, enough so that he had to use medication to get an erection. "Get up."

Shizuo does so mechanically, the drying blood from his chest trickling down his stomach. Izaya grabs a fistful of hair at the back of his neck, forcing his head forward. "Suck." The raven commands. Shizuo doesn't think Izaya has ever hated him so much, not even when they were enemies.

x-x-x

Izaya knows when to call it quits. The effects of the meds have worn off. Shizuo is laying on the bed sheets covered in a mix of blood and semen finished off with a layer of perspiration. The blood has all but dried and once the blonde washes it off, he'll see Izaya's name carved through layers of skin.

It goes without saying that the protozoan will treat it like the other mark. A precious reminder of their time together. The brute always was sentimental like that. Izaya waves a hand in front of the blonde's face but Shizuo stares blankly at the wall ahead.

With a sigh the informant zips himself up hovering over the blonde. The rage is still there and Izaya knows if he stays any longer, he may well kill the blonde. "...you're going?" Shizuo asks in monotone.

"Yeah. Goodbye Shizu-chan." Izaya debates whether or not to have one last kiss, choosing to do so before leaving the room.

Kasuka stares at him anxiously, nursing a kitchen knife. "...nii-"

"What did Shizu-chan want to know?" Izaya cuts the actor off.

"Nii-san asked me how I coped with acting a role? He wanted to know if I blended in with the character. I told him I could feel myself disappear letting the role play out itself."

"Ridiculous." Izaya shook his head. All that for a pointless theory. "Kasuka-kun, take care of Shizu-chan." Izaya put his knife caked with Shizuo's blood inside his pocket.

Reaching the door he heard a sharp intake and a soft gasp. "Nii-san!" Shaking his head Izaya clutched the handle, opening the door.

"Good bye, Shizu-chan." Stepping outside the informant closed the door to stop anyone else getting inside. Without a backwards glance the raven trudged down the corridor bidding farewell to his other lover. He managed to hold on until reaching the elevator. Behind the thick metal doors, Izaya wept.


	23. Those left behind

**Those left behind**

_"You're going?" Shizuo asks without a hint of emotion. He already knows the answer- half expected Izaya to walk out already. His body isn't sated, there's no after glow; just the pain settling into his overworked muscles. It hurts to move. It hurts to speak. Shizuo forces his lips to move, the only place Izaya hasn't ravished or abused. Lips were for sweet hungry kisses that they would no longer share. _

_"Yeah." Izaya answers without hesitation. "Goodbye, Shizu-chan." Shizuo flinches at the chaste kiss pressed almost lovingly against his lips. It's their last and the flea is so damn gentle it makes him regret everything he's ever done. Too late now. Izaya is already walking away from him and all Shizuo can do is stare at he space the raven no longer stands. _

Shizuo slowly opens his eyes finding his pillow damp. Kasuka is there with a glass of milk, the way he likes first thing in the morning. "Nii-san." It's not who he wants to see. The one he wants to see is gone. Like a worthless dog, the blonde knows he's been abandoned.

Everything still hurts but that's to be expected given that it's only been a day. One whole day since Izaya left him. Pushing himself up on an elbow, Shizuo allows the glass to be brought to his lips. It's cold and refreshing.

"Nii-san, how are you feeling?" Kasuka asks. Because it was his brother that had been left to take care of the aftermath whilst he stared at the wall doing nothing. Kasuka had grabbed a cloth wiping the mess from his body, running a bath and half dragging half carrying his body into it. His brother was stronger than he looked.

Shizuo doesn't answer. He doesn't know how he's feeling yet. There's a gaping hole of misery in his chest coupled with a vague emptiness. It was to be expected. He thinks solemnly. In the end a monster ends up alone with nothing.

"Thanks Kasuka." Shizuo says after length. It's almost funny how alike their voices sound now. His tone sounds listless and dead, like the world around has come crashing down and he's only a witness. It almost doesn't feel real. Izaya has let him go. The crafty raven had his claws in from the start, never letting go. Always including him in ridiculous not to mention dangerous plans as if he was a VIP. Shizuo had never been able to escape Izaya's hands and now he was free.

Freedom hurt. Even if it was with hatred, Izaya had still been giving him attention, still been coming into his world like a buzzing fly. Shizuo had never truly been alone. Izaya was gone and Kanra was gone. The two people he loved most in the world.

"Nii-san, are you okay?" Kasuka asks brow furrowed. Shizuo can't answer, can't find the strength to answer. Sure his brother had lied and risked his acting care but Shizuo had been the one to push his brother to act that far. His concern for Mikado had wrecked both relationships.

There was no internal damage- he thinks. Kasuka was the one to wipe him down, checking for any damage. 'To stop the risk of infection'. His sibling had said since Shizuo refused to allow anyone else into the apartment. Shizuo didn't feel embarrassed then and he doesn't now. At the moment he's apathetic. The empty glass gets taken away, Kasuka dabbing at his lips as if taking care of a child.

"Nii-san, you'll be okay." His brother's stoic lips crack into a small sympathetic smile, one calming hand lightly patting his hair. "Do you want anything to eat?"

Shizuo blinks struggling to register the question. It feels like he's being submerged, Kasuka's voice drowned out.

"Do you want anything to eat?" Kasuka asks louder breaking through the deafening crash of blood rushing in his ears.

"...not hungry." The blonde manages to choke out.

"...okay. Maybe something later then." Shizuo gives a grunt in response rolling his tired body onto the side. Lazily his gaze drops to his chest. The skin is bumpy, the irritation hasn't gone down making Izaya's name look like a bad allergy. Shizuo can still make out the strokes and given how his boyfriend...

The blonde takes a shuddering gasp scrunching his eyes closed. Ex boyfriend. They weren't together anymore.

...given how his ex is, Shizuo knows without a doubt it's Izaya's name carved in his chest. Izaya was possessive and not the type to scar him with insults. It could have said bitch or traitor, even whore but he knew it read Izaya's name. A cruel reminder of what he had and what he would never have again. Shizuo smooths his fingertips over the raised skin, feeling over the strokes. It's sore and it hurts. Still it slightly eases the pain of his heart.

x-x-x

"Nii-san, I made you some miso soup." Kasuka tells him in a dead tone, carrying the tray to the bed. Shizuo doesn't move choosing to stay curled up in fetal position. It's cold. The bed is too big for one person. "Nii-san, you should eat."

Shizuo grunts burying his head further under the covers. Above him he can hear a soft sigh.

"Try and eat some. You'll only make yourself sick."

Shizuo listens numbly to the retreating footsteps and the closing of the door. His nose twitches smelling the flavour of the soup. His stomach grumbles and his fingers twitch against his chest, taking comfort in the only part of Izaya he has left.

x-x-x

Kasuka finds out. The soup is hours too cold still sitting untouched on the bedside table. Like a nagging concerned mother, the covers are lifted. Shizuo flinches at being caught red handed. His chest is redder than it should be, spots of blood staining the cotton white sheet beneath him. His fingernails are caked in blood. "Nii-san." Kasuka simply says with a small disappointed shake of his head.

Shizuo is a disappointment. He can't do anything right. He's failed his ex lovers and his brother. Since he's not at work he's failed Tom too. "...sorry." The blonde mumbles. He's not sure who exactly the apology is for but he knows it's already too late.

The sheet has to be changed again. It's already been done once after Izaya had vented. That time Shizuo had been in the bath, letting the hot water nurse his exhausted muscles. He's not much help this time either. Kasuka drags him out of bed, guiding him to sit out of the way where Shizuo continues to wallow in self pity. "Nii-san, leave it alone or it will scar."

Even without his brother telling him, Shizuo knows the cuts will scar. It's not the first inflicted on him. Pressing a hand against his chest, his fingers twitch doing exactly what his brother had told him not to do.

x-x-x

"Nii-san, I've made you some dinner." Kasuka is at the doorway again, dressed in an apron of sorts and a ladle in hand. "You have to keep your strength up."

Shizuo stares at the door. All he can see is the ghostly echo of Izaya's retreating back. It's a sight he had gotten used to when they were at school together. Back then Izaya had kept his distance baiting and provoking the monster yet staying far enough away to run.

It used to annoy him seeing the black blur with that stupid white trimmed hood bobbing like some sort of rabbit. Shizuo had never told Izaya that he loved his face. He loved how direct the raven was and the strangeness of those jewel like eyes. Maybe if they had all been more honest, this wouldn't have happened. Mikado wouldn't be gone and he wouldn't be lounging around like a broken hearted girl.

Kasuka is still waiting for an answer. Shizuo tilts his head slightly seeing his brother's hand clutch the handle of the ladle tighter. It almost looks like it's going to be used to beat him. "Nii-san..."

"I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat." Kasuka scolds. "You'll make yourself sick."

"...in a bit." Shizuo relents pushing back to the covers to show he's making a move or at least thinking about it. Kasuka buys into it anyway, turning back towards the kitchen. Shizuo releases his weak grip on the covers, staring at the dried red crusted under his nails.

x-x-x

_You're going?" Shizuo asks without a hint of emotion. He already knows the answer- half expected Izaya to walk out already. His body isn't sated, there's no after glow; just the pain settling into his overworked muscles. It hurts to move. It hurts to speak. Shizuo forces his lips to move, the only place Izaya hasn't ravished or abused. Lips were for sweet hungry kisses that they would no longer share. _

_"Yeah." Izaya answers without hesitation. "Goodbye, Shizu-chan." Shizuo flinches at the chaste kiss pressed almost lovingly against his lips. It's their last and the flea is so damn gentle it makes him regret everything he's ever done. Too late now. Izaya is already walking away from him and all Shizuo can do is stare at he space the raven no longer stands._

It's dark when the blonde next opens his eyes in a cold sweat. It looks like he finally did fall asleep after pretending to at dinner. The other side of the bed is cold and empty, Kasuka sleeping in the guest room.

It's not a dream. Shizuo's dreams are as cruel as reality, playing their parting over and over again. It's another part of his punishment- to stay and face what he's done. After all if his dreams were merciful, giving him what he wanted then Shizuo wouldn't mind never waking up again.

His bladder protests to the fact he hasn't moved yet. Shizuo moves robotically climbing out from the safety of the covers. It's not hard to walk, it's just a pain. It's tedious and boring.

Reaching the bathroom the blonde relieves himself, washing his hands when he's done. It's not a conscious thought. Shizuo doesn't have to think about a routine that's been ingrained into him since he was a kid.

That's why his next stop is the kitchen, raiding the fridge for the half full carton of milk. Mechanically the blonde opens the top, letting the contents flow into his mouth. It doesn't taste as sweet as he remembers.

On the counter is a silver foiled package. Shizuo notices it upon returning the milk. Usually he would drain it cue Izaya moaning he had no milk for his coffee and Kanra had no milk for her cereal.

"Oh." Shizuo utters closing his eyes. The pain is there again, residing in his chest. Shizuo looks down at the blood smeared across it. It's only milk but it brings back a rush of colourful morning memories.

Under the foil is what was supposed to be his dinner. Its more of what you would find in a bentou that a full meal. Shizuo glances at the doorway half expecting Kasuka to be standing there.

The foil gets thrown in the trash, the plate set on the table. Taking a seat it starts off with small pokes to what Shizuo thinks is supposed to be an onigiri version of himself. Kasuka's way of cheering him up he supposed.

Shizuo lifts the shape to his lips. "...sorry." He murmurs letting the shape crumble into the plate. Pushing it to one side, the blonde stands trudging back to the bedroom.

x-x-x

"Nii-san." Kasuka is there again, hovering beside the bed with a cool glass of milk in his hand. Shizuo props himself on one elbow to take a sip. "I brought you breakfast."

"I'm not...it's a pudding cup." Shizuo mutters quietly.

"Yeah. You might as well eat something you really like." The glass is taken away set on the bedside table. Shizuo watches as the thin lid gets pulled back. The spoon has already been dipped in, a mouthful held out for him. "I'm not leaving until you eat, nii-san!"

Shizuo sighs, chomping down on the spoon. There's no explosion across his palette, no giddy childlike happiness- nothing. His jaw moves slowly chewing at what he can only describe as cardboard.

"Nii-san, what's wrong?" It's too late to school his expression. Kasuka knows something is wrong. If he doesn't say anything his brother would only continue to hold out spoonfuls of what used to be his favourite treat.

"...it's disgusting." Shizuo says flopping back down against the pillows. He doesn't recall his body every being this heavy. "Sorry, Kasuka. I want to be left alone."

"Nii-san...I'll leave this here." Shizuo says nothing as his brother leaves the room, closing door behind him. Shizuo lays on his side simply staring at the wall. His eyes sting a little but they stay open refusing to shed a tear or fall asleep. He doesn't need to see a replay of their breakup.

x-x-x

Kasuka keeps true to his word returning at lunch with a plate of snacks. Shizuo; a little slow to react, doesn't quite succeed in feigning sleep.

"I've brought you something." Shizuo hears the soft clink on the small table, doesn't get up to look though. "Nii-san. Do you want to talk about it?"

A different tactic. Shizuo doesn't answer gently flexing his fingers. There's a satisfying warmth over his fingertips. He thinks Kasuka will give up and leave again- it doesn't happen.

Kasuka sighs clambering onto the bed. Shizuo closes his eyes feeling his brother's slim arms around him. "Nii-san. You'll get over this. The pain will go away. You've healed before."

His broken bones. Shizuo wants to reply. It's too tedious to do so and there's no will to put any effort into anything. It hurts more than anything he's ever suffered with before. He wants to tell Kasuka that he'd rather have every bone in his body broken than deal with the ache.

His brother isn't listening because it's not what he wants to hear. Shizuo blinks staring at the navy shirt in front of him. Kasuka continues to hold him, whispering softly 'that everything is going to be okay'. It's warm and that alone brings tears to his eyes. Neither one of them says a thing when Shizuo breaks down, tears rolling down his cheeks and soft broken sobs smothered by his brother's chest.


	24. Hunted

**Hunted**

Izaya starts again. The informant is on his own the way it begun. There's no mercy in his actions and once he's set his mind on something, there's no stopping him. The streets of Ikebukuro are peaceful thanks to the quashing of the gangs. They were an eyesore and noisy in his time of grief. The informant had warned them and being humans they hadn't listened. That was why the raven cloaked in an aura of death had swept through taking care of the situation. No one had died. Instead they had all been hospitalised.

Ikebukuro was safe. Safe enough for Mikado to walk through as himself. It's something he should have done in the first place. Holding back had made things strained and complicated. There's no complications now. The informant didn't complain about how small the apartment was when he brought it under an alias. As long as it was close to the top of the building to warn of intruders. As long as he got left alone and no one knew where he was.

The apartment itself is unfurnished. To start with it was devoid of any homely sense. That hasn't changed since Izaya moved in. The floor is bare. Smooth floorboard panels instead of an expensive carpet or tatami mats. What is supposed to be a bedroom is an empty shell.

Izaya doesn't need a bed. He doesn't remember the last time he slept. There's no sofa either since the informant doesn't have any intention of letting anyone else in the apartment. There's one light, a small one on the back wall giving a soft glow overhead. That's all he needs to sit on a new leather computer chair at a smooth glass desk.

The desk is sleek and stylish, something that he can have now since there's no careless violence around. "Shit."

Izaya shakes his head, pinching at the bridge of his nose. He's thinking again. Thinking of those that held his heart, those that he's let go. Closing his eyes he tilts his head back trying to clear his thoughts. Starting from scratch is a little harder than he anticipated. Typical humans have killed him off saying that he perished in the fire. It's almost poetic. A fire started it all and a fire marked the end of it all. It's given him adequate enough time to decide what he's going to do.

Shiki was his biggest client and now that he's cut ties with the yakuza, Izaya has to rely upon the desperation and curiosity of normal civilians. It's a new start supposedly but the informant isn't sure how things will work out.

Reaching for his glasses, a yawn escapes the raven, smothered by one tired hand. The latest caffeine fix is wearing off. Languidly pushing the chair back, Izaya shuffles to the kitchen using his slippers on the smooth floor to give himself the momentum to move. There's no skip in his gait. The last time he tried that, he fell flat on his face. The price to pay for doing something he didn't feel like.

The only appliance in the kitchen is an overworked coffee machine. It sits on the edge of the counter close to the door so he doesn't have to walk that extra bit further. The rest of the counter is lined with empty coffee cups that haven't been washed out. Izaya hadn't found the energy to be bothered, instead using one empty cup after the other to push them up. There's no space now. That's why he's bulk brought styrofoam disposables.

The coffee is black because the milk has run out and Izaya doesn't want to go outside and buy more. It leaves a bitter taste in his mouth but he's getting used to it. Izaya slouches against the wall waiting for the cup to fill. There's no energy in his exhausted frame, his legs ache to stand. There's no point in sitting down because he'd have to use effort to stand up again.

Even then he's too slow watching the coffee overflow the rim of the cup. With a sigh Izaya turns the machine off ignoring the overspill. Cup in both hands the informant trudges back to his desk. There's a window in the apartment. Izaya made sure to hang the darkest curtains he could find. No balcony. No point since he has no plans to see outside. The desk is arranged in equal distance to the bathroom and the kitchen.

x-x-x

The coffee machine sits on the desk behind his laptop. It was more effort to move the appliance. Izaya knows it will work out better in the long run. It means less space for him to travel.

Izaya lifts his head glancing at the door to the bathroom. With a sigh he slumps in the chair. The apartment was too big. On the desk his phone lights up. A reminder that he hasn't eaten for a few hours. "...lunch time."

Stretching out his arm, Izaya grabs the first small bottle lined up beside the laptop. The lids are already off making it easier. Taking a single capsule out of each one, the raven lines them up on his palm. "Calcium,Iron, Zinc, vitamin c..." Smothering another yawn, Izaya finishes his meal tossing them back. The coffee makes it easier to swallow.

It's only out of pride that he continues to look into Shiki's cases. There's only three left and then that would be it. Pushing the glasses further into his nose, Izaya pushes himself up staring at the glaring screen in front.

x-x-x

They're done. All three solved and he didn't even have to leave the apartment. For him it's a new record, a testament to how good he his. Through back channels and a maze of data that can't be traced back to him, Izaya sends his findings through to Shiki's email.

The reward will tide him over for a bit. It will give Izaya time to rest or maybe leave Ikebukuro all together. There's nothing left for him anymore. An email pings back almost immediately. Izaya clicks it open sure it would say that the payment has been deposited already. Instead he sees another message.

_These requests have already been taken care of. I no longer have requirements for your services. _

Izaya reads over the message again. Taken care of? Dropping his head in his hands, the informant shakes his head in disbelief. "...after all that. Shiki had someone else in mind anyway." It didn't have to be Mikado. Izaya's fingers twitch, a spark of anger driving him to find out about Shiki's new pawn. What he finds is disturbing.

x-x-x

Izaya isn't sure how he's managed to miss it. This new informant of Shiki's has quite the popularity. There's plenty of rumours and eyewitness accounts. Most of them suggest that it's him back from the dead.

Dual. It's a stupid name yet it's seemed to grab all of his humans' attention. According to the rumours the informant has only been active for a week yet already there's a web page up for requests. The page itself is flooded with requests.

"It looks like I'm not needed after all." Izaya shrugs wincing at the ache in his shoulders. "Well then Dual-san, Ikebukuro is yours." It's a new start after all. This is only a temporary pit stop.

Clicking on the add request button, Izaya types in not a request but simply 'good luck'. He doesn't use an email or fill in the contact details. With a final click the message is sent and Izaya's final task as an informant is done.

All that's done is to leave. Izaya rests his hand on top of the screen, ready to close it down. A soft ping sounds in his inbox. Curiosity gets the better of him. Seeing that it's from the new informant, Izaya has to admit he's impressed.

_Found you. _

It's not an email he's been sent but a link to a chat room. Izaya clicks it wanting to have a least a small conversation with his successor.

_Nakura:- hello there. Found me? Were you looking?_

_Dual:- yes. I wanted to talk to you._

_Nakura:- I suppose so. I'm not giving any of my secrets away. _

_Dual:- I don't need them. I don't need any help from someone like you!_

_Nakura:- someone like me? We've never met. It's a bit harsh to judge someone isn't it?_

_Dual:- I know everything about you. _

_Nakura:- Scary. What is it you want then?_

_Dual:- I want you to suffer. _

_Nakura:- ah. I get the feeling you don't like me. What a shame. _

_Dual:- I hate you._

_Nakura:- too bad. If you'll excuse me I have a train to catch. Bye bye Dual-san. _

_Dual:- going to Saitama?_

Izaya froze staring hard at the latest message. Why Saitama? Mikado was in Saitama. Did the informant know everything?

_Nakura:- nope. I was thinking somewhere else. Ikebukuro is boring. Have fun._

_Dual:- after the chaos you caused, you want to run away?_

_Nakura:- there's nothing to run away from. _

_Dual:- we won't let you leave Ikebukuro. _

Izaya smirked tiredly at the screen. Like anyone could.

_Nakura:- we? There's two of you? I suppose that's why it's Dual. How unoriginal. _

_Dual:- if you leave we'll turn our vengeance to the ones you care about._

Izaya narrowed his eyes, fist clenching.

_Nakura:- go ahead. There's no one I care about. _

_Dual:- Shizuo Heiwajima. _

Izaya gasps bolting upright. They shouldn't know. The protozoan could take care of himself.

_Dual:- if you leave Ikebukuro, we'll hurt him. _

_Nakura:- I doubt that. Looks like someone didn't do their homework. _

_Dual:- we know his weakness. _

Kasuka or Celty but it was doubtful they would manage to hurt the dullahan.

_Nakura:- what did I do to piss you off, ne? _

Izaya didn't have the first clue about who he was dealing with. An adult? A teenager? One of the gangs? There were too many enemies he had made.

_Dual:- you know what you did. We won't rest until we destroy everything you hold dear. Run or stay it will be the same. _

_Nakura:- it's not good to provoke me, Dual-san. You'll regret doing so. _

_Dual:- I regret meeting you. Be prepared Izaya. We won't forgive you!_

"Ah. This looks troublesome." Izaya sighed closing the laptop. "I suppose I'd better warn Shizu-chan...or get Shinra to warn Shizu-chan." That way they wouldn't see each other. The raven didn't want his ex to see him in this state.

The phone skittered off the edge of the table onto the floor as he reached for it jarring the desk. The remains of his coffee spilled over the side seeping under the laptop.

Pushing himself up Izaya staggered, one hand pressed against the desk to steady himself. His vision span as he wobbled. "Shit." He gasped breathless.

Easing himself around the table, Izaya crouched slowly to reach the phone. His knees gave out sharply sending him to the floor. "Ugh."

Phone in hand the informant guided himself through the menu calling Shinra. Shinra would still be in contact with the blonde. Or if not then Celty would be.

_"Izaya!" Shinra's voice portrayed his friend's frustration. "Where have you been?"_

"Shinra...too loud." The informant growls shying away from the phone. It's been a while since he's spoken to anyone.

_"Are you drunk?" _Izaya looks at his place on the floor. He might as well be. It's a better explanation than the truth. Vitamins and coffee weren't enough to keep his strength up.

"...have you been in contact with...Shizu-chan?" Izaya asks choosing to ignore the question entirely. There's a long pause on the end of the line. It's not a good sign.

_"No. I haven't. I'll ask Celty." _Another pause. Izaya uses the time to sit up placing a hand to his head. The room is still spinning. _"She says he's with Kasuka. She hasn't spoken to Shizuo...I know my beloved...Kasuka has a press conference midday tomorrow."_

Izaya's brow furrows, his mind trying to work through the thick fog. "A press conference? Is this about the drug scandal?"

It's clear Shinra is sore about being lied to. More so that he was fooled by an actor. _"Yes. Celty says Kasuka is going to retire from acting. They'll be leaving Ikebukuro by the end of day tomorrow." _

"...t-they?" Izaya asks past the lump in his throat. The thought of the blonde leaving shakes him up more than he expected. "You mean Shizu-chan too?"

_"Yes." _Shinra answers bluntly. Izaya's eyes widen grabbing at his chest.

"Why?"

_"Celty says Kasuka didn't tell her. Tomorrow is your last chance to see Shizuo." _

"Where?"

_"I don't know. All we know is they're leaving."_

"How?" Izaya asks finding strength to clutch the phone tighter.

_"Like I said Izaya, we don't know." _Shinra sounds exasperated. _"If you want to see Shizuo, you'll have to turn up at the press conference."_

"...I can't." Izaya closes his eyes.

_"Then you can take Sonohara to the hospital tomorrow. Celty and I will be going to see Shizuo off."_

"Since when am I a babysitter?" Izaya grumbles. "Why? Is she hurt?"

_"Huh? Oh she's fine. It's Kida that's hurt. Well hurt is a bit mild. He's on life support." _

Izaya gapes at the phone as if Shinra can see him. Shizuo was leaving, Masaomi was on life support? What else had he missed? "Shinra...I'll text you the address. Can you get Celty to bring some IV drips?"

_"I thought as much." _Comes a long sigh. _"You're the second one to ask me that." _Who's the first? Izaya wants to ask but he has a feeling about the answer. It's the only reason Shinra would mention it. _"Izaya?" _

"Fuck! I'm still here." Izaya murmurs feeling his eyelids slip. He's managed to keep sleep at bay long enough, not it creeps along the edge of consciousness slowly closing in. In barely a whisper he says the address. The phone slips from his fingers, Izaya falls to the side collapsing on the floor, losing the fight against his current enemy that's been chasing him down for days.


	25. Ten seconds

**Ten seconds **

Shinra didn't disappoint. Izaya opened his rusted red eyes looking around the familiarity of the illegal doctor's sofa. Connected to his arm was a thin tube pumping the necessary nutrients into his weakened body.

"Ah." Shinra grins down at him. "You're awake. Both of you are idiots."

It's another reference to the blonde. Izaya bites his tongue so he doesn't ask how the protozoan is. Its none of his business, besides he doesn't want to poke at the thin layer around his heart. The numbness is fine. It's the memories of what he's done and the final kiss that haunts him. It's the sole reason Izaya doesn't want to sleep.

"...how long have I been unconscious?" Izaya asks twisting his fingers together. Part of him hopes the choice has been taken out of his hands.

"The rest of yesterday and what's passed of today. It's ten o'clock."

"Oh." Two hours left. Two hours until the blonde leaves Ikebukuro.

"What do you intend to do?" Shinra asks fiddling with the drip. "If you don't go, you'll regret it."

"Shizu-chan and I are finished." Izaya mutters closing his eyes.

"Like I said, both idiots. If you want to eat anything there's a bunch of food on the table."

Izaya shrugs sitting up. He feels better than he has since he walked out of Kasuka's apartment without a boyfriend. On the coffee table is a cardboard box filled with random packets of sweets, boxes of cakes and most noticeably pudding cups.

"This is all sugary." Izaya comments tossing the pudding cup back in the box.

"Is it?" Shinra shrugs. "I haven't looked through it yet."

Izaya glances at the contents again making the connection. "This is Shizu-chan's stuff. He was here?"

"To say goodbye, yeah." Shinra tells him offhandedly. "Are you worried he saw you?"

"No! I'm not...did he?" Izaya tries not to think about it. If the blonde had seen him and then still left...

"No. It looked like they were in a hurry. Shizuo didn't come in."

"How long ago?" Izaya looks over to the door.

"Hm, about ten seconds before you woke up. Celty went with him. They were close."

"You say that like you'll never see him again." Izaya murmured.

x-x-x

There's no chance for a sleep-in. Shizuo is dragged out of bed by his brother. It's the day Kasuka confronts the media about the scandal rocking his acting career. After that they'll be leaving. He himself doesn't know where nor does he care. This is what he needs- a fresh start.

The most painful part is the goodbyes. Shizuo empties the fridge placing all the treats Kasuka had brought him in a box. It will be a waste to let them run out of date. "Nii-san, what are you doing? I can buy more when we get to our destination."

"I'll give them to Celty." Shizuo shrugs hugging the box to him. "At least I can leave her with something." He hasn't contacted her once since his breakup with Izaya. Hasn't contacted anyone. Kasuka had done it all.

"...if that's what you want."

x-x-x

Shizuo tenses as the car slows outside Shinra's apartment. His nose twitches and his eyes water. Izaya. It's Izaya's smell assaulting his sensitive nose. Shizuo's breath catches in his throat. A desperate hand claws at the slim column trying to remember basic instinct.

Izaya is in the apartment. That much he should've realised. The flea and Shinra are best friends. Where else would his ex go? Kasuka is looking at him strangely. Shizuo is doubled over clutching at his chest.

"Nii-san?"

"He's here." Shizuo gasps.

"Oh. You still want to see Celty though? I'll send her out. Stay here." Kasuka pats him on the back, rubbing gently in large circles, as if its going to calm him down. It does to an extent leaving him feeling pathetic at how much damage his breakup with Izaya has done.

Shizuo is stuck waiting in the car, struggling with Izaya's cloying scent. It's so painfully nostalgic. He's not sure whether or not to say goodbye to Izaya. The raven will probably be glad to see the back of him.

Kasuka leaves with the box of goodies. The food he wanted to binge on but couldn't. His favourite snacks wasted on the cardboard taste in his mouth. The colours are gone from his world. It's nothing special. Shizuo knows he's heartbroken and pathetic. It's the same thing everyone goes through.

Except- he's given everything to Izaya.. All his feelings, all his love, everything he ever was- to Izaya. There's nothing left and that's what this journey is about. To find a new self.

A black streak bursts from the window, blurring down the side of the building at a terrifying speed. Shizuo sighs opening the door and getting out. A ball of shadow engulfs him.

"Hey, Celty. It's been a while."

The shape emerges as his friend. All he can do is wait for the messages to come flying. For now all Celty does is stand there holding him tightly. Kasuka has told her.

"I'll keep in contact. Once we've settled down, I'll let you know where we are." Shizuo promises gently patting his friend's back.

_You better. _Is the message he gets. _I'm sorry. I should have been there for you- _Shizuo takes the phone before the next word can be typed.

"This isn't your fault. There's nothing you could have done. This is what's best for me and Kasuka." Shizuo sighs leaning against the car. "Take care of yourself and...look out for the flea if you can."

_I will. Aren't you going to say goodbye? Izaya isn't conscious right now._

"What-" Shizuo bit the inside of his cheek shaking his head. "No. Don't tell me. It's fine this way. We'll only end up hurting each other again."

_That's not true._

"Celty...goodbye." Shizuo steps forward embracing his friend. "Thank you for everything."

_You better come back. _

"I will."

_And put on some weight. _

Shizuo looks down at his clothes, his arms were wiry and his shirt baggy. "I know. I can't sit around moping any more. Both Kasuka and I need to go."

_I understand. I'll miss you._

"Me too."

x-x-x

Izaya leaves the bathroom after relieving himself. The mood in the apartment has dropped, the culprit sitting on the sofa he had vacated. Shinra is circling the sofa looking worried and trying to pacify the dullahan.

She looks up as he comes into the room. Her shadows spike before collapsing into a runny black substance. Izaya avoids her completely. It's time to leave.

"My beloved, there's no need to cry. You'll see Shizuo again." Shinra says attempting to get closer.

Izaya sighs shaking his head. The movement doesn't go unnoticed, a spear of shadow shooting into the wall closest to him.

_This is your fault!_

"Actually it's-" Izaya narrows his eyes glaring at the woman. "I don't have to discuss this with you. See you around, Shinra."

Another spear fires past him. Izaya shrugs it off leaving the apartment. Closing the door he runs down the stairs, wasting the energy he has recovered. He doesn't have his coat or any shoes. Celty hates him. Blames him for the blonde leaving.

"Izaya-san?" Great. The raven looks down at the bottom of the stairs where Anri stands. "You don't have any shoes on."

"I suppose I don't." Izaya shrugs. "Are you supposed to be wandering around?"

"No. I wanted to see Kida-kun."

It's what Shinra wanted him to do. To play babysitter. Izaya decides he might as well do it. He wants to see if the illegal doctor's words are true anyway.

"What are we waiting for?" Skipping down the stairs, the ex informant takes Anri's arm leading her down the next staircase. "Do you know how Masaomi ended up in such a state?"

"No. Everyone thinks it's because of the gangs." The busty teen slowed down staring at him. "Are you okay?"

"None of your concern." Izaya shrugged. He already knew it was risky leaving Shinra's care. "Ne, I wonder which one of us is the babysitter...what were Masaomi's injuries?" Their speed was slowing drastically.

"He was stabbed."

"Stabbed?" Izaya asks.

Which reminds him that he really did need to get a warning to the protozoan. The new informant was out for his blood and Shizuo would be in the firing line. It was a good thing really that the brute was leaving. Once the town was his there would be no more interferences.

"Yeah. It looks like there were two culprits. One used a knife and the other a pen." Anri explained. "I don't know anything else."

"Two people...it makes sense. Looks like I need to have a word with the other leader."

"Kuronuma-kun?"

"Yeah. Right now he should still be acting as a guard for my sisters." Izaya clutches the banister waiting for the dizziness to pass. "Since you're here, why don't we make a stop off first?"

"To see Shizuo-san?" Anri asks quietly. Izaya scowls hearing his ex's name.

"Not quite. You can pass a message on for me."

"...oh." The girl looks disappointed in him. Izaya is disappointed in himself. "Have you heard from Mikado-kun?"

Izaya eyes the ravenette with distaste. "You like to stick the knife in, hm? No I haven't. Neither should you."

"Well as long as he's happy." Anri smiles.

"Hn. Let's get a move on."

"Orihara-san, you're the one slowing us down." Izaya says nothing. It's a waste of energy he doesn't have. The girl's attitude towards him is influenced by Shinra and Celty, he just knows it.

x-x-x

There's still just under an hour to go until the press conference. The disgraced actor is fashionably late. Izaya skirts around the scene- with shoes this time and a coat; although it's not his original nor does it have the trimmed fur. The thing doesn't have a hood.

It's what you'd usually expect. A small stage set up with a podium that looks more like an execution block. The multiple representatives from the media are behind red tape, clambering around with their microphones and cameras.

It's going to be painful for Kasuka, depending on what the actor has to say, things could turn nasty. "There's no sign of Shizuo-san yet." Anri helpfully supplies.

"I can see that. I'm tired not blind." Izaya retorts wondering why he's even here. It was his decision to leave the blonde. So why was there a rush of panic in his chest the moment someone threatened the protozoan. "They might be back at the apartment."

"Wouldn't it be better to wait?" Anri asks. "They should be here soon, right?"

It's a choice. One Izaya doesn't know how much he's going to regret making. In his current state it's hard to think. Would he be running away if he went or would it be cowardly if he stayed?

"There's still plenty of time." Izaya is already making his way past the crowd, heading in the direction of the apartment.

x-x-x

The goodbyes are done. None of them were easy. Saying it to Celty was the hardest. There's still time to search out Izaya if he wishes yet Shizuo can't bring himself to do so.

Kasuka doesn't look nervous but inside he knows his younger brother is a wreck. These are the consequences of his actions and something Kasuka has to face up to. In hind sight his brother got the brunt of it. He had only lost Izaya and Mikado, whereas Kasuka had lost his fans, his peers and was being thrown to the media like a ham bone.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Shizuo asks. It would be easy to change direction, get away from the carnage that would bear down on his brother.

"...yeah. This is my punishment." Kasuka shrugs. "What's wrong?"

They've arrived. Shizuo's nose twitches scenting Izaya through the barely rolled down window. "Izaya is here."

"Oh. Probably to enjoy my suffering." Kasuka doesn't look bothered about about it. "Or he could be here to see you. What do you want to do?"

Shizuo shakes his head needing a breath of fresh air, at the same time wanting to crawl under a rock and hide away at everything. Pushing open the car door, the blonde climbs out looking down at the greedy unforgiving press of wolves, his brother would be thrown to. "Your boss is a dumbass." Shizuo grunts.

Izaya scent is still there, still str- no it's not. The nostalgic smell is receding, Izaya is leaving. Shizuo looks over the crowd. There's no sign of the signature parker. He can't see anything in the growing crowd. "...Izaya." The distance between them is too great. He can tell his ex is right at the back of the crowd, going in the opposite direction.

Shizuo waits. He doesn't have the energy to go running through the crowd like a bull in a china shop. It's ten seconds before the blonde can move, turning away from everything. Izaya is gone and somehow Shizuo knew it would be like this. Even a goodbye was too much to ask for.

"Stupid flea." Shizuo curses, trudging back to the car. Kasuka is inside with his eyes closed.

"Did you see him?" His brother asks quietly.

"No. Doesn't matter." Shizuo shrugs slumping in the seat. "We're both cowards."

x-x-x

The apartment is empty and so are Izaya's energy reserves. His muscles are cramping from the sudden burst of exercise. With no answer, the ex informant had opened the door the old fashioned way. The apartment itself was bare. It looked strangely like the one he was currently staying in. Everything had gone, leaving it unfurnished for the next tenants to move in.

"Ah. Guess I should have stayed." Izaya groans dropping to his butt. It's going to be hard to move. "Do I want to see him again?" It appeared not with his subconscious working against him. "Why am I running around for that protozoan? Ow." Izaya rolls up his pant leg, using both hands to gently massage his calf.

"Because you still love him?" Anri says quietly. Izaya grimaces turning away.

"Tch. You're an annoying non human."

"You're not going to say goodbye, are you?"

"No." Izaya shrugged smoothing his hand over the rigid muscle. "We've already said our goodbyes. Call a cab. I'll escort you to the hospital."

The teen did as she was told, already on her phone. Izaya sighed leaning back against the wall. "Goodbye, Shizu-chan."

x-x-x

"It's time." Kasuka opened his eyes looking composed. "Let's get this over with. Nii-san, could you stay here?"

"What?" Shizuo asked shocked. "Why? I can come with you-"

"If you're there, you'll lose your temper. Do you remember what you did to the last person that insulted me?"

"That was-" Shizuo shook his head. "Fine. Don't let them get to you."

"You underestimate me, nii-san." Kasuka gave him a small smile, leaving through the open door. "I'll be back soon."

"Good luck." Shizuo returned the smile. The door closed and he was alone. Well the driver was there but sitting like a statue waiting for the next command.

Izaya hadn't shown up. He didn't know why he had been so disappointed when he had felt the raven leave- again. It was over between them. They had already said their goodbyes. There was no need for any more. "Goodbye, flea."

Shizuo closed his eyes listening to the distorted noise outside. "Excuse me, could you put some music on?"

The driver nodded in the mirror, soft soothing music filled the car blocking out the bad stuff outside. Kasuka was right, it would only make him angry.

He didn't know the song but the soft beat worked well with the rhythm- at least he thought so. "Sir, there is someone outside." The driver told him.

The beat was soft rapping against the window. It wasn't Izaya. Shizuo sighed shuffling over to the door. Pushing it open he moved to get out. "What is- you!"

Standing in front of him was a teen so familiar it wrenched his heart. One blue eye, one red gazed down at him. "Hello, Shizuo."


	26. The other side

**The other side**

Shizuo stares in shock at the teen; unrecognisable but at the same time he knows it's Mikado. "I- I thought-" Words fail him, his brain choosing to shut down as his heart rejoices. Climbing out of the car, Shizuo embraces the teen.

He knows Mikado shouldn't be here. Izaya sent him away, it's not safe for the teen. Not if he's to be protected from old friends turned enemy or Shiki. Right now he can't bring himself to care about the danger. Mikado is back. Maybe now Izaya could take care of the boy. Shizuo knew he had burnt his bridges. The connection with Izaya was gone, their relationship history. He'd prefer it if Mikado stayed with him but the one that needed the teen the most was probably Izaya.

"It's good to see you." Shizuo composes himself, standing up straight. "If you want to see...Izaya..." The name still hurts. Shizuo wonders if the pain will ever fade. Letting go of the teen, his hand moves to his chest, lightly scratching at the scars beneath. "...I don't know where he is."

"It's okay, Shizuo-san. It was you I came to see."

x-x-x

Mikado slides into the seat next to Shizuo, the blonde closing the door as if the sun is blinding. He notices how tired his lover looks and the longing sadness in his eyes.

"We broke up." It's information he already knows. It's clear that something happened. Just like Izaya sent him away, the informant has abandoned Shizuo leaving him broken hearted.

"I'm still here, Shizuo." Mikado smiles softly leaning against blonde's shoulder. "I'm not leaving."

"You should."

There's something under his lover's shirt. Specks of blood are coming through the crisp white. Mikado continues to smile, an art perfected now.

"You look tired." The new informant says gently.

"...Haven't been sleeping much."

"You can sleep now. I'll let you borrow my lap." Mikado sits up straight, patting his thighs invitingly. He gives Shizuo a warm smile.

His lover doesn't have any reservations about his return or giving in to old habits. Mikado smiles as the blonde's head rests in his lap, body curled up on the seats.

"I missed you, Shizuo." Humming softly, his hands gently sift through soft dyed locks. Mikado pushes Kanra back for now, she can have her share later. It's too early to let slip about her.

"It's okay." Kanra whispers. "He's asleep."

"That was quick." Mikado lifts back the blonde's bangs seeing his eyes closed, soft even breathing making the blonde's chest rise and fall. "Shizuo?"

"Of course. He's hurt. Izaya broke his heart. You heard the rumour. The two of them are supposed to be leaving today." His counterpart was right.

"We can't use him against Izaya." Mikado decides eyeing the spots of blood on the shirt.

"We have to. Let's take him with us."

"Not yet."

"Why not?" Kanra whined. She didn't like it when their plans didn't go as they should.

"It has to look natural. Shizuo will want to stay with me-"

"Us."

"Us." Mikado corrected. "We can't just kidnap him."

"So we wait for Kasuka." Kanra sighed. "I suppose so. It will do Shizuo good to get some sleep."

"Yeah." Mikado sighed softly. "I know what he's going through."

x-x-x

Izaya has the distinct feeling something is wrong. Years with Shizuo and the underground has taught him not to ignore such a feeling. It's not an animal's instinct as such, more of his subconscious warning him not to mess up.

Too bad his subconscious hadn't warned him about his ex boyfriend. Staring out of the window he could see the podium standing as the only shield between the hungry press. The cab had chosen to drive past, which Izaya didn't mind. It gave him another chance to check everything was okay. There was no sign of the blonde. Most likely Kasuka had instructed his brother to stay out of the way. That would mean the protozoan was probably in Kasuka's car or whatever they would use to travel around.

"Izaya-san? Do you want us to stop?" Anri asked quietly.

"No. There's no need." Izaya looked away from the window. The protozoan was no longer any of his concern.

x-x-x

"Are we going back to Shiki-san?" Mikado asked quietly. The last thing he wanted to do was disturb his lover.

"I don't want to. There's too many guards. It feels more like a prison. We could get him to give us an apartment like the one Izaya-nii had."

"Yeah. One big enough for the three of us."

"Not too big." Kanra sighed. "Shizuo won't be happy if he finds out about Shiki."

"We won't tell him." Mikado shrugs. "It'll be our secret."

"Good idea. We'll have to make sure he can't leave."

"Yeah. We can't let Izaya hurt him any further. We have to-"

The door opens, Kasuka slipping inside looking tired. "Nii-san, it's done. We can go- who are you?" The retired actor noticed them. "What did you do to nii-san?"

"Shizuo is sleeping." Mikado said quietly. "I'm Ryugamine Mikado, Shizuo's lover. Don't you recognise me?"

"Oh. You look...different."

"I didn't have a lot to disguise myself with." Mikado explained. "Besides, I'm hiding from Izaya."

"He broke your heart too?" Kasuka asked.

"Yeah. I heard what happened. I couldn't leave Shizuo alone."

"You know we're leaving in a minute."

"I know. It's a shame I can't come with you. Ikebukuro is where I've made my home."

"Nii-san, knows you're here. If I split you apart it will be as if you're breaking up too."

Mikado nodded his fingers stilling. "...yeah. I didn't think of that. I'm sorry."

Opposite them Kasuka heaved a heavy sigh. "Nii-san's friends are here and so are you. It will be better if he stays. Maybe you can help him get over Orihara-san."

"I-I'll try. I'm still a kid in Shizuo's eyes. I don't have a home or anything yet." Mikado lowered his head.

"I'll take care of that." Kasuka told them without blinking. "Anything you and nii-san need, I'll provide."

"T-thank you."

x-x-x

It was another goodbye. Shizuo didn't understand what had happened whilst he had been asleep, only that things had changed. Kasuka had decided to go on his own and buy an apartment for him and the kid.

"Take care, nii-san." Kasuka gives him a brief hug before stepping back. "I'll be in contact."

"...bye, Kasuka."

That it was it. His brother was gone and he was left standing outside an apartment block. Mikado smiled up at him taking his hand. It looked like the kid had picked him. Shizuo sighed staring at the key in his hand. Everything was happening so quickly it was making his head spin.

"Shizuo, is everything okay?"

"I need to lay down." The blonde grumbled shaking his head.

"Kasuka-san said he ordered furniture for us. It should be here within the next few hours."

"...right. It had to be the top floor."

x-x-x

"...had to be the top floor." Shizuo murmured once they were in the apartment. Big enough for the three of them with extra space for his own personal study.

Mikado smiled looking around. Kasuka had done everything to his specifications. It had to be the top floor. A perfect vantage point for incoming threats. The blonde didn't seem too happy with the choice- a reminder of Izaya.

It was all coming together perfectly. Shizuo knew the apartment and anything else they needed would be paid for by Kasuka. "Shizuo, you don't like it?" The teen asked hugging his lover's side.

"It's fine. I'll get used to it." The blonde hugged him back. This was all he needed. One was enough. The one that hadn't abandoned him. With a sharp gasp Mikado backed away.

"You're bleeding!"

"It's nothing." Shizuo covered his chest averting his gaze. Mikado felt Kanra stir. "The stuff should be here soon."

x-x-x

Izaya shoved his hands in his pockets, striding through the hospital towards the room occupied by Masaomi's comatose body.

The teen was indeed on life support covered in bandages and tubes, a clear mask over his nose and mouth. Izaya's eyes widened at the sight. "Kida-kun!" Anri gasped sharply at his side.

Izaya's attention turned to the chart hung on the end of the bed. Multiple cuts, head trauma and stab wounds made by more than one weapon.

"What are you doing here?" Saki demanded pushing past them.

"Ah, Saki-chan. Do you know what happened?"

"Why would you care?"

"Because I'm here on behalf of Anri-chan, here." Izaya shrugged returning the chart. "What have the doctors said?"

"There were two people. The obvious ones are knife wounds. The other ones are smaller and rounder. The doctor's believe it's a thin circular weapon, like a pen."

"Two people?" Izaya murmured. Immediately the newest troublemakers Dual came to mind. A knife and a pen. A dangerous combination. Masaomi had been taken out of the picture and he had personally disassembled the yellow scarves.

"So it seems." Saki didn't look too comfortable with him there. Anri was at the teen's bedside looking horrified. Izaya listened to the wheezing of the machine keeping the teen alive. "I don't really want to ask but can you find out who did this? I want them to suffer."

"As it turns out, the ones that probably did this are a thorn in my side."

"Thank you." Izaya glanced over at the bed. Whoever Dual were, they weren't to be taken lightly. The duo were dangerous. Their next target was probably the leader of the disassembled blue squares, Aoba. That would mean his sisters would be pulled into the mess.

"Anri-chan, are we finished here?"

"We've only just got here." Anri mumbled. "Just a little longer."

"It's not as if he'll be going anywhere." Izaya sighed ignoring glares from both girls. "Suit yourselves. I have a call to make."

"You're not supposed to use phones in the hospital."

Izaya sighed hanging his head. "Don't leave the room. I don't need those two on my back."

x-x-x

One after the other furniture for the apartment arrived, delivered through the door. Shizuo barely had to use his strength since everything was done for them.

Mikado smiled watching as the last piece was placed into the bedroom. The bed was made up, soft covers covering the sheets. His lover fluffed the pillow looking tired. "Shizuo, you can take a rest now."

"It's okay. Should probably wash first." Mikado eyed the bloodied shirt. The blonde was scratching at his chest again- a habit they had already noticed.

"Can I join you?" Kanra asked with a smile.

Their lover looked conflicted. "...sorry. I need to be alone right now." Mikado silenced his counterpart before she ruined everything.

"Oh. Okay. I'll unpack our clothes." Mikado smiled softly. The wig was ruffled, the blonde leaving them alone. Mikado stared after him fists clenching. "He's still pining after Izaya."

"Obviously." Kanra whispered. "Shouldn't you report to Shiki?"

"Yeah." Mikado took his phone out, speed dialling the yakuza. The call went as expected to voicemail. "We've moved into an apartment with Shizuo. We'll be staying here from now on." He wasn't sure how their new boss would take it but seeming as the yakuza had allowed Izaya to do it, they should be fine. "Done."

"Good." Kanra grinned. "What should we do about Izaya-nii?"

Mikado shook his head. A loud thud drew their attention. "Shizuo!" The teen ran to the bathroom opening the door. "Are you okay?"

The blonde was on the floor. "Yeah, sorry I tripped." Mikado's jaw dropped staring at his lover's bare chest. Izaya's name was carved into the blonde's chest. "What? Oh this? This is-" Mikado embraced his lover. Izaya had been cruel scarring the blonde permanently. "Hey, listen..."

"Everything will be okay, Shizuo."

"Maybe. Listen, I need to tell you something."

Mikado looked up seeing how troubled Shizuo looked. In his pocket the phone rang and he knew it was Shiki. "Sorry. I should get this."

"Oh, sure."

x-x-x

Shizuo sighed raking his nails across his chest. Mikado had seen it. He still needed to tell the teen that Izaya wasn't to blame. It was his fault. Before things got out of hand he would need to tell him.

Shizuo hung his head seeing droplets of blood deep from the open wound. He should have said it from the start. He should have told the truth and left with Kasuka.

The longer he waited the harder it would be. Already Shizuo couldn't bear the thought of parting with the teen. "I have to tell him." Damn it, it hurt.

"Sorry, Shizuo." Mikado apologised entering the bathroom.

"Your parents?" Shizuo asked. The teen smiled.

"You didn't want me to see that, did you?"

"No. This isn't as bad as it looks." Shizuo sighed reaching for his shirt.

"Can we bathe together now? I'll wash your hair."

Shizuo closed his eyes away from the teen's earnest gaze. Just a little longer. Until after their last bath together. Maybe after the pair of them had rested up or tomorrow morning.

"...yeah. Did Kasuka buy you a new wig?"

"I like it like this." The teen smiled.

"Oh okay, whatever you choose is fine." The truth could wait a few hours. Shizuo held out his hand, Mikado's smaller one fitting in his own. Tomorrow would be another day. Tomorrow he would confess his sin and say goodbye to his remaining lover.

x-x-x

_Nakura :- So what did you have against the leader of the yellow scarves?_

_Dual:- He was in my way._

_Nakura :- What's next? The gangs were already destroyed._

_Dual:- Only you._

_Nakura :- Riiight. You said you were going to use Shizuo against me. Too bad he's gone. Looks like you'll have to try something else. _

_Dual:- No. We can still use Shizuo against you._

_Nakura:- It's not nice to lie, Dual-san._

_Dual:- It's not a lie. Why did you carve your name into his chest?_

Izaya's fingers stilled on the keyboard. There wasn't anyone apart from the Heiwajima brothers that knew what had happened.

_Nakura:- Nice try. Shizuo is gone._

_Dual:- Too bad. _

A picture had been sent through. Izaya clicked on it, groaning as the picture opened showing what he feared. The blonde was fast asleep in a bed. The photo had been taken close up including the damage he had done.

Dual has left the chat room.

"No!" Izaya banged his fist against the keyboard. How? He had seen Kasuka. The pair should have left. But the picture was clear evidence. Dual had the fortissimo.


	27. Trapping the beast

**Trapping the beast**

Mikado smothered a yawn, calmly setting the laptop to one side. Everything was as it should be. Shizuo was fast asleep in their new shared bed. The fortissimo hadn't moved a muscle when he had snapped a picture. Izaya now knew that Shizuo hadn't safely left Ikebukuro as originally planned. However the informant didn't know that he and Kanra were Dual.

"Was that a wise move?" Kanra whispered tiredly.

"It won't ruin anything. As far as Izaya knows, we're holding him hostage." Mikado whispered back.

"Right and because we've left it with the photo, Izaya-nii will be panicking." Kanra grinned. "At least we'll get a decent night sleep. When are you planning to go back on the chat-room?"

"I don't. This will keep him guessing. Izaya won't dare make a move in fear of something happening to Shizuo."

"Izaya-nii always has something up his sleeve."

"Yeah but so do we." Mikado pressed a finger against his lips ending the conversation. It wouldn't do any good if their lover woke from his slumber.

"I missed him so much." Kanra whispered climbing onto the bed. Mikado hissed in warning. His warning went unheeded, slim fingers smoothing over the blonde's cheek.

"...Izaya..." Mikado flinched back at the sound of the informant's name. Shizuo was fast asleep and calling for their ex.

"No." Kanra murmured leaning forward to brush their noses together. "There's no room for Izaya here. We'll erase him. Every little thing he's done-"

"Shh!" Mikado hissed feeling the blonde stir. "Sorry, Shizuo." He apologised quickly seeing dazed chocolate orbs staring up at him. "Did I wake you?"

"Huh? Oh. It's you." Mikado forced a smile clenching his fist out of sight. "What's wrong? Couldn't sleep?"

"...no." Mikado mumbles feeling Kanra's distress. It's Izaya again. Izaya on Shizuo's lips and in clear view on his chest. It's sickening how wrapped up with the informant their lover is.

"Ah. Come here." Shizuo smiles tiredly pulling the covers back and gently gathering him into his arms. Mikado smiles back snuggling into the blonde's warm arms.

x-x-x

Mikado doesn't sleep. The teen almost does until he again hears a soft groan spill from the fortissimo's lips. It's coupled with Izaya's name which irritates Kanra to no end. He can feel her thoughts with his own. A gag would do but that wouldn't stop the feel of the crusted skin beneath his fingertips, spelling out the informant's cursed name.

Izaya needs to disappear. From Ikebukuro but more importantly from Shizuo's heart. However deep Izaya has managed to embed himself is how far they'll have to go to cut him out.

Shizuo's hand slips from his waist, moving to scratch at his chest. Kanra hisses whilst Mikado calmly reaches out clutching the blonde's hand. His fingers still move and the damning thing is that Shizuo is still asleep. Restless yet still asleep calling out for Izaya.

With a small sigh Mikado gently eases the blonde's hand away, moving his body up onto Shizuo's. Awkwardly he guides the arm around his back. Satisfied that he's disrupted yet more scarring of Izaya's name, Mikado closes his eyes, ear pressed against his lover's strong heartbeat.

"He'll try and leave us." Kanra whispers. Mikado's brow furrows knowing she's right. From the start there had been a guilty look on the blonde's face.

"We won't let him." Mikado's voice is firm. Shizuo's hand on his back twitches, trembling slightly. It's the cue for the blonde's lips to twitch. Mikado sighs clamping a hand over his lover's mouth. He can still hear the muffled 'Izaya' For now it feels good distorting the voice.

x-x-x

Izaya didn't sleep. It was one o'clock in the morning. Armed with another hit of caffeine to keep his eyes open, the raven stared at the photo on screen hoping for some clue to pop up. The photo could be fake. There was no way to tell since he hadn't seen the brute since the two of them broke up. From the way the blonde was positioned it was easy for him to see his ex was sleeping and not drugged as he had feared.

There were no mirrors or reflective surfaces that had captured an image of the person or people behind the camera. All he had to go on was a bed with his ex fast asleep. The blonde looked like he hadn't been sleeping at all. Dark patches circled his eyes. With a sigh Izaya reached out gently touching the screen. It was the first time he had seen his ex. It looked like the breakup had taken a toll on both of them.

Kasuka would give him the answer he was searching for. The younger Heiwajima _should _have left with the older one in tow. Ikebukuro should have been free from the protozoan- for both their sakes.

"Shizu-chan." Izaya's hand dropped to his side. "Why didn't you go?" Why had the brute let himself become a hostage of all things? "Protozoan."

Hanging his head, Izaya forced himself to look away from the screen. It shouldn't be anything to do with him. They were over. If the blonde wasn't drugged then everything would be fine when he woke up. The fortissimo's destructive temper would wreak havoc on the fools that tried to use him.

Closing down the picture, left him staring at the empty chat room. "Come on then, You have Shizu-chan. So what are your demands?" Izaya sighed watching the cursor flicker.

x-x-x

Mikado was the first to wake up. Lifting his head he picked out the specks of blood where Shizuo had managed to scratch after all. With a disappointed sigh, the teen slid from his lover.

"Well that didn't work." Kanra noted. "Does he want to be scarred?"

"Yeah." Mikado answered quietly. "Izaya isn't here any more. Shizuo hasn't let go."

"Neither has Izaya-nii. That mark is permanent." Kanra grit her teeth grinding them together. "I always did get left out of the rough play."

"It's going to take a lot of effort to replace Izaya."

"Then we're lucky there's two of us." Kanra grinned stripping down. "Let's get started."

x-x-x

Shizuo's eyelids fluttered, a pleasant warmth pooling in his abdomen. His limbs felt relaxed and for once the fortissimo woke up feeling normal or as close to normal as he remembered. No he did remember. It was when the three of them were together without a care in the world. Before he had begun to worry about his teenage lover.

"Huh?" Shizuo looked down seeing a bulge in the covers. Lifting them high, two different coloured eyes peered back at him. "What are you doing?"

"G-good morning, Shizuo." His lover smiled shyly. "You looked like you were having trouble sleeping." The teen poked his tongue out giving his shaft a small lick.

"You don't have to do that!" Shizuo moaned. "Listen, I need to-"

"Lay back and relax. I'll take care of everything." Mikado kissed the tip descending down on him.

"Izaya isn't-"

"Here." The teen finished for him hollowing his cheeks. "He left us."

Shizuo groaned falling back against the soft pillows. Mikado wasn't listening to him. The sooner the misunderstanding was cleared up the better. "Hey! Your teeth!"

"Hm?" The teen looked up at him confused. "Not good?"

"No, it feels good." Shizuo gently pressed against the raven's head easing him away. "We need to talk."

"You want to get rid of me?" Mikado murmured looking downcast. "I love you, Shizuo. I came back for you."

Shizuo's breath hitched, chest tightening. "I love you too but-"

"Then the rest doesn't matter." Mikado smiled uneasy. "Right? We can stay here. Just the two of us."

"Mikado..." Shizuo gasped. "No! Don't cry. Please don't cry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-shit. We'll do what you want, okay?" Shizuo reached out comforting the sobbing teen.

"R-really?"

Shizuo nodded brushing the tears away with his thumb. When the truth came out the teen would shed a lot more tears- a sight he never wanted to see.

"T-thank you, Shizuo." Mikado cried flopping down on his chest.

"...sure." Shizuo murmured gently rubbing the teen's back. "What are you doing?"

Mikado's hand was on his dick squeezing lightly. "I want to do it. We can't?"

Both of them were aroused. Shizuo bit the inside of his cheek. The basis of their relationship was a lie. But the teen was back between his legs sucking him off, gazing up at him with those deep eyes. "Why don't we have breakfast first?" Shizuo grunted trying to hold himself back.

"Won't it be uncomfortable if we leave things like this?"

Very much so. Shizuo thought fisting the covers. The teen was gazing at him with an adorable smile. "Shit. I-"

A soft melody floated through the apartment. Mikado blinked shooting off the bed like a rocket. "Sorry that's mine."

Shizuo stared after the teen dumbfounded by the sudden change. It was almost as if the raven was another person. With a sigh Shizuo got up heading for the bathroom. A cold shower would fix his problem.

x-x-x

"Hello?" Kanra answered the phone a little miffed that they had been disturbed. There was no turning Shiki away without facing the consequences.

_"I have a job for you, Dual-kun." _

"Okay. Email me the details and I'll get straight on it."

_"...you have forty-eight hours to get your affairs in order. After that I want a personal report from you. Do not disappoint me like your predecessor." _

"Yes, Shiki-san." Mikado looked around making sure Shizuo didn't accidentally hear him say the yakuza's name. From the clipped tone he knew the man wasn't pleased with him. The phone felt like ice in his hand.

Ending the call, Kanra sighed shaking her head. "We can't leave the apartment yet."

"Not until we know Shizuo isn't going anywhere." Mikado confirmed. "Do you want to take over?"

"Seducing Shizuo?" Kanra grinned licking her lips. "My pleasure~."

With a skip in her step, Kanra made the short distance between herself and the bathroom. The door wasn't locked as they had expected it would be.

"Shizuo?" Kanra called out stepping into the bathroom. A silhouette through the steam showed their lover was inside the shower. "Shizuo?" Kanra opened the door stepping quickly inside to press herself against the blonde's naked body.

"Mikado." The blonde breathed looking like he'd been caught out doing something naughty. With a scowl Kanra glared at the blood dripping from Shizuo's chest.

"Shizuo, I don't like it when you hurt yourself." Leaning close Kanra flicked out her tongue sweeping away the trail. She didn't give their lover time to speak. One hand reached out grabbing the soap from the small shelf- Mikado.

Her counterpart was already thinking ahead, sliding the scented bar along their torso. "Mikado." It was a little annoying that he wasn't calling _her _name. For now she would let it slide. The less the fortissimo knew the better.

"Aren't we continuing?" Kanra asked pressing their free hand on the blonde's chest. "It's been so long."

"Ah!" Mikado groaned softly slipping a finger behind his balls. Kanra gasped leaning against Shizuo.

"Hey! Don't push yourself. Come here."

"It's okay, Shizuo. You can be rough with us."

"Us?"

Kanra froze at her mistake. Mikado lowered his head. "Sorry. We always do this with _him. _Sorry."

"Don't be." Shizuo murmured turning off the water. "You'll see him again."

Doubtful. Kanra almost spat, if not for Mikado taking the initiative to kiss the naked blonde.

x-x-x

Not in the shower. Shizuo had made that much clear. He wasn't at full strength and the last thing he wanted was to hurt the teen. That was why he had moved them to the bedroom.

Mikado's desperation was understandable as was the reaction from his own body. "Shizuo." The teen breathed slowly lowering himself down. Shizuo groaned at the strangled tightness around him.

"You should have let me prepare you." Shizuo growled hating the pained look settled on the teen's face.

"I'm okay, Shizuo." Slowly the warmth around him began to recede as Mikado lifted himself up. Shizuo held his breath as if he was at the top of one of those high rides at a theme park. The teen smiled slamming down on his balls.

"Ah!" Both of them cried out. Wanting to reach out but knowing he shouldn't, Shizuo let the young raven take control. First Izaya and now Mikado. This time it didn't feel like farewell sex. Unlike Izaya, he couldn't make up his mind or find the resolve to spit out the damning truth.

Click. Shizuo blinks staring at the phone pointed in his direction. "What are you doing?" He asks calmly.

"Taking a picture." Mikado responds sheepishly. "I want it as a memory." Shizuo flinches as the first tear falls. "I don't know when I'll be left alone again."

"Mikado..." Guilt stabs into him like a thousand needles. "Okay. If it makes you feel better. Take as many as you need." If it helped with the raven's insecurity then he'd have to put up with the knowledge Mikado had a few dozen pics on his phone.

"Really? Thank you." The two colour eyed teen smiled snapping away. Shizuo sighed gently rolling his hips with a light thrust. "Mm."

x-x-x

Nothing. Izaya had wasted an entire morning waiting for a demand or some stupid task he would have to accomplish. Instead there was silence.

Ping.

Izaya's head snapped up hearing the sound on his laptop. Finally. "What are your demands, Dual-san?"

_Dual has entered the chat room. _

_Dual- Good morning. I trust you slept well. _

_Nakura:- Where's Shizu-chan?_

_Dual:- Not very sociable are you? I suppose that's why all your humans hate you so much. _

_Nakura:- Where's Shizu-chan?_

_Dual:- In the shower. Things got a little messy. _

At his desk Izaya froze fearing the worst.

_Dual:- what? No comment? Are you worried I left him bloodied? We did something way more fun together. After all we're in the exclusive club of those that got screw Shizuo Heiwajima._

Izaya's eyes widened, fist slamming down on the desk.

_Dual:- Are you still there? We're curious how you're feeling. Hurt? Devastated? Angry? Your puppy has a new owner. _

_Nakura:- You drugged Shizu-chan._

Izaya typed out the accusation, fingers trembling with rage. His eyes burned with fury, the only thought that cheered him up was what he was going to do to the pair when he got his hands on them.

_Dual:- Nope. He's drug free. This was of his own free will. Poor thing was starved of affection after the way you left him. _

_Dual:- Ah. I suppose you won't believe me. That's why I have evidence. _

Izaya stared at the small file waiting to be opened.

_Dual:- He felt perfect underneath me. _

Izaya opened the picture. It was true. The blonde was laying on the bed staring straight at him eyes wide. More pictures followed each as damning as the one before.

_Dual:- Something I guess you wouldn't know any more. I'd love to see your face right now._

_Nakura:- What a coincidence. I'd like to meet you too. _

_Dual:- Too bad. Here's a gift for you. Enjoy it. It's the last time you'll ever hear his voice._

_Dual has left the chat room._

A video file. Izaya grit his teeth clicking the file open. It wasn't a surprise that the screen showed the protozoan on the bed like the photos. "Here goes." The raven grimaced clicking play.

The screen moved rocking back and forth like a wave. The one behind the camera didn't utter a sound but the one in clear view was plenty vocal. "Ah. Shit. You're so tight." Izaya turned away thrusting himself away from the desk.

Dual had slept with his ex. Not only did this new informant have the blonde captive, the annoyance was sleeping with him. Hearing enough, Izaya picked up the laptop hurling it at the wall. It didn't break.

"Ah. More. Feels good." The blonde's moans filled his ears even though the screen was cracked inside. Storming over Izaya stamped on the device again and again in a fit of rage.

"No no no no no! I'm the only one that gets to play with Shizu-chan!"

x-x-x

Shizuo stared at the door to the study Mikado had taken for his own. Nearing the door he could hear laughter inside. "It's a shame we can't see his face."

"It would be something like this."

Shizuo knocked on the door before opening it. The teen looked up from the desk. "Who were you talking to?"

"A friend." Mikado smiled over at him.

"Oh. Okay. I'm making lunch. Do you want anything?"

"No thanks. I'm not really hungry."

"Are you sure? We did go at it for a long time. If you want we could go out and eat?" Shizuo suggested. Really though it was the last thing he wanted to do. His friends all thought he was with Kasuka outside of Ikebukuro. All the goodbyes felt pointless now.

"No!" Mikado cried standing quickly. "Kasuka-san ordered plenty of food. It would be a same to waste it."

"Yeah." Shizuo readily agreed. The teen smiled hurrying over to him. Warmth surged through him at the touch. "What were you laughing about?"

"Cat videos." The teen smiled leading him to the kitchen. "I'll show you later."

"Sure. I could do with a laugh. I should probably give Kasuka a call."

"Already done." Mikado waved the phone. "He said he'll be in a place that's low on signal for a while."

Shizuo shrugged. "Later then. Your hips feel okay?"

"I'm fine, Shizuo." The teen blushed.

"Are you sure? I didn't go too far?"

Mikado smiled embracing him. "Everything is good. What should we make for lunch?"

"Something small." Shizuo sighed. It would be a while before his appetite returned. Until then he had to take care of himself so he didn't worry Kasuka or the teen.


	28. Happily ever after

**Happily ever after**

Shizuo roused with a warmth in his heart and a weight on upon his chest. Cracking an eye open he caught sight of black fur sticking up like an angry cat. With a small smile he lifted one lazy arm from his lover's back. Distracting himself from negative thoughts biding their time, Shizuo gently patted the fluffy points marvelling at the teen's bed head. He hadn't thought Mikado would ever take off the skewed cut wig.

"...good morning, Shizuo." The raven smiled lifting his head to look at him with sparkling blue eyes with the depth of the ocean.

"Good morning." The blonde returned the smile. Or at least he hoped he did. Izaya was still a hefty weight anchoring his happiness down. The reminder was hidden under a loose button down he had worn to alleviate the worries Mikado professed. "You want breakfast?"

"Does that involve me letting go?" The teen asked softly.

"Fraid so." Shizuo mumbled lazily.

"Not hungry." Mikado muttered head on his chest.

"Yeah." Shizuo smiled craning his head to place a kiss on the raven's crown. "Me neither. A bath then?" The afterglow was pleasantly blissful. That would change when they were fully awake. Their bodies were slick with perspiration, the covers a corner gripping to the teen's back, in an urge not to fall from the bed.

"If you carry me." Mikado murmured in discomfort. Shizuo quelled the pang of guilt.

"Sorry."

The teen furrowed his brows, stretching to place a kiss on his lips. "Don't be." Smaller hands touched his forearm. "I'll work on my stamina."

Shizuo ruffled the teen's hair, bringing his arms down to circle the smaller male's back. "Mikado-"

"You've lost some muscle."

"I didn't have much to begin with." Shizuo shrugged letting the teen squeeze his arm.

"Not bulky. Firm. Your arms were sinewy and like steel."

Shizuo offered a small grin. "Steel. Huh? You make me sound like a superhero."

Blue eyes bore into his own. "You're my superhero."

"Can't be much of one." Shizuo sighed. Mikado's perception of him was all wrong. He should know the truth. Should know that Izaya was his hero.

"I believe in you. That's all that matters."

It didn't help. Shizuo hissed at the pain berating his chest. The punishment grew hot a reminder of his sin. His nails twitched like talons, ready to score his flesh until Izaya's name ran red.

"I can't imagine you in lycra."

Shizuo blinked backtracking to the teen's words. "Lycra?"

"Yeah. You'd need to pick something else. But a material that shows your muscles and your behind." Mikado blushed wildly still continuing to talk.

"You're a weird one kid. That your fantasy or something?"

"No. It was a dream I had once."

Shizuo drew his hands together touching the soft rump within reach. "An innocent dream I hope." He knew it was. Mikado was very vocal if it was a wet dream. Izaya told them in great detail his dreams. Ah. Izaya. He had wronged the raven and now continued to do so with each passing moment he continued to spent with their returned lover.

"Your costume was charcoal. It clung to you like a second skin defining..."

Shizuo noticed the flush. The teen lowering his head demurely, gazing at him under dipped lashes. The urge to tease bloomed from the adorableness.

"Defining what?" He asked lifting Mikado's chin with a finger.

The teen whimpered looking at him embarrassed, trying desperately to burrow himself in plain sight.

"I want to know." Shizuo pressed bringing the raven back to face him. The blue stood out more prominently through the lobster red. A small smile tugged at his mouth.

"...defining your p-pectoral muscles." Mikado stuttered. "And your abs."

Shizuo's grin widened. "And?" He gently prodded.

"Your behind." Mikado blurted.

"You like my ass?"

"...y-yeah but I prefer your..." The teen trailed off eyes wide in shock.

"Fuck." Shizuo growled possessively. "You could bring the sadist out of a saint." Curling his arm around the teen's waist, Shizuo pushed against the pillow rolling the raven underneath his bigger body.

The blue eyed minx touched his jaw with both hands staring up at him in wonder. "So could you." Mikado breathed in awe.

Shizuo tensed. His elbow locked watching the adorable creature beneath him. Slim fingers smoothed along his jaw without a trace of fear or pity. The depths of the ocean only held love and admiration for him.

"Listen kid," The blonde began in a hesitant whisper.

"I love you, Shizuo." Mikado interrupted placing a coy finger against his lips. Shizuo pressed his lips together kissing the digit. Poking out his tongue he flicked the muscle down the slim length.

The teen gasped. Shizuo parted his lips sliding them over the tip. "Watch what you put near my mouth." The blonde teased. "I have a sweet tooth."

Mikado whimpered throwing his arms around his neck. Shizuo fell between the teen's legs. Mikado's heart raced parallel to his own. Shizuo swallowed staring at the teen's plump lips. Kiss swollen from being ravaged by a desperate desire.

It was the sight of those lips that set him at a halt, pulling him back to the harsh reality. Shizuo was being rough with the wrong lover. As if noticing his hesitation, the teen's brows drew together. "Shizuo?"

"Y-" Shizuo licked his lips wondering why his throat was a dry well. "You're sore." With a will of steel the blonde pushed against the soft mattress.

"I'm okay!" Mikado shot up, reaching for him as he backed away. "I want you."

Shizuo sighed dropping his head in his hands. "No. I don't want to hurt you. I've already done enough."

Mikado reached for him again but Shizuo was standing away from the bed. The teen followed grimacing as he staggered with poorly disguised pain.

"Get back into bed." The blonde gently scooped the teen up laying him back on the crisp sheets heated to their core temperatures. At least that was the plan.

The raven's arms were locked around his neck refusing to let go. Shizuo tapped the teen's slim forearm in warning. "I'm still growing."

Shizuo paused in his attempts to coerce the teen to let go. "I know. You have a few years to go."

"I'll be taller, stronger, faster." Mikado babbled rising awkwardly to his knees. "I promise. I'll be enough. I-I'll make sure I increase my stamina. I won't leave you. I promise."

Shizuo sighed sitting back on the bed. Beside him the teen clambered into his lap. "What is this really about?" But he already knew. Mikado was trying to fill the void of their missing lover. "You. You're not Izaya."

Mikado lowered his head against his shoulder. "I know. I wanted to help you forget."

Shizuo slid one arm around the raven's waist. His other cradling the boy's shoulders. "I'm never going to forget. It doesn't work like that."

"Why? You're dead to him. He left you."

"I don't hate him. I know he's scarred me. I know we'll never be together again. That doesn't mean the feelings aren't still there."

"I hate him." Mikado said in disgust. "Do you want to go back to him?"

Shizuo smiled sadly shaking his head. "That would never happen. We're done. I don't know how much it's going to hurt when we do see each other again."

"That's why you wanted to leave."

"Yeah." Shizuo rocked back slowly falling onto the bed. Mikado cradled in his arms went with him. "Remember there's a thin line between love and hate." Shizuo kissed the teen's cheek, glad to see he'd calmed down. Closing his eyes he listened to the strong thumping pressed against his chest. "Did I have a name?"

"Huh?" Precious blue gems looked to him.

"Well if I was a superhero I'd need a name." Shizuo pointed out.

"Oh! You already have a name. The fortissimo." Mikado smiled.

"Lame." Shizuo commented. His fingers sifted lightly through inky bed hair. "We should do something."

"We are doing something." Mikado smiled kissing his jaw.

"Something productive."

"This is productive." The teen moved to his lips. Shizuo stiffened feeling desire flash through his body.

"Something that isn't going to hurt you further." The blonde ground out. His loins were full, pressed against the warmth against him.

"Shizuo," Mikado whispered. The softness in his eyes became steel, hardening into a rare burst of assertiveness. "You won't hurt me. I want this. You want this."

Mikado pressed against his chest, forcing his hand down between them. Shizuo growled. His fingers twitched in the need to ravage the teen until there wasn't a single unloved space left.

His jaw clenched, fists at his side. Bringing the shutters down, Shizuo took a series of deep cleansing breaths trying to regain control. He could feel the tips of the teen's fingers resting on his cheek. The ghost of a kiss against his lips.

"Shizuo." Mikado whispered biting down sharply on the shell of his right ear. "Fuck me." The hand on his cock squeezed. He should have put on pants when he had the chance. "I need you inside me."

"Y-you're sore." Shizuo rasped with a familiar dryness. He could strike a match against his windpipe.

"If I were sore then I wouldn't want to go another round." Mikado sidled forward rubbing the cleft of those small firm buttocks against the raging head of his cock.

"Kid." Shizuo growled in warning.

"Sorry, Shizuo." The teen said a bit louder. "I should have realised that you _couldn't _do it any more." Shizuo stiffened. "I'll give _you _time to rest."

Mikado sat up leaving his ear alone. Shizuo opened his eyes setting molten heat to scorch the troublesome teen. "On your knees." The blonde growled. "I don't want to see you cry."

"I won't cry." Mikado assured him crawling from his lap on all fours.

Shizuo eyed the puckered hole, licking his lips. Rising to the challenge, one arm encircled the teen's slim torso. "I doubt that." The blunt head slammed into his lover's passage without obstruction. Beneath him Mikado hissed crying out.

"F-feels good."

"I'll go slow." Shizuo muttered hating the thought of causing his lover pain.

"Don't!" Icy fingers locked around his wrist, small crescents marking his skin. "Don't go easy on me!"

Shizuo bit down on the inside of his cheek. He complied with the raven's wishes, flexing his hips to drive further into the teen. His fingers were talons digging into the small wooden end of the bed. His larger body loomed over the smaller.

Shizuo rippled like a beast in heat. His carnal desires were unleashed, slamming faster and harder inside the tight furnace. His teeth were bared in a snarl of lust and a shadow of regret. Underneath him Mikado held fast, limbs quivering like a new born foal.

Stamina unrivalled Shizuo continued even when Mikado's arms have way. His focus was locked onto riding out his own release when it exploded from his body. Explode it did, rushing out like a torrent on the high seas. The force gave him pause only to realise what he had done.

Pitifully he had allowed himself to be provoked. Shizuo berated himself pulling out limp slowly. "Sorry."

"Don't be." Mikado whimpered collapsed in a heat. "I wanted this. I wanted to see what you had. I know now."

It didn't make him feel better. "Sorry."

"You said that already. Can you carry me to the bath? I don't think I can walk."

Shizuo nodded gently gathering the teen into his arms. The wince didn't go unnoticed.

"I want it like that every time." Mikado told him blue eyes pained. "I want your truth. I want your everything. I'm an adult, Shizuo. I want you to treat me like one."

"Right now you're an injured princess." Shizuo muttered carrying the teen to the bathroom.

"I like being in your arms."

"You're a fool." Shizuo grimaced slowing his step.

Mikado fell silent giving him time to put the plug in and turn on the taps. "Can I ask you something?"

"We're not doing it again." Shizuo hissed through his teeth.

"Not that." The raven blushed back to his usual self. "Did you ever do that to Izaya?"

Shizuo shuddered at the thought. "The retribution isn't worth it."

"What do you mean?"

"A lion isn't a match for a poacher." Shizuo shrugged. Cradling the teen he reached over dipping his fingers to test the water. "It wasn't so much rough play as denial. The flea got off on having me helpless and under his command."

"Is that what you wanted?" Mikado whimpered as his backside touched the heated water.

"From him." Shizuo conceded.

"From me?" The teen asked quietly no longer looking at him.

"No. Not from you. It's normal with you."

"...you make it sound like Izaya is special."

Shizuo shrugged. "The flea was an asshole. It was our dynamic. Take your time. I'll get you a change of clothes." A set for himself too.

"You don't want to come in with me?" The teen asked looking at him pained. Shizuo drew in a harsh intake feeling like he'd kicked a puppy.

"I'll be back in a minute."

It took all his resolve to leave the room in search for clothes. His lower half was getting chilly. Shizuo was in the midst of pulling his grey boxers over his hips when he heard a small chime.

Letting the elastic snap in place, Shizuo left the small bundle on the bed going in search of the noise. It came from the room the teen had claimed as a study. The only room that had technology except for the television.

Shizuo heard it again, caught sight of the small glowing square on the mobile sitting on the desk. A message. Probably from Kasuka. Shizuo smiled at the thought of catching up with his brother. It hadn't been long at all since they had last seen each other but he wanted to reassure his concerned sibling that he was okay.

Picking up the phone, Shizuo glanced down at the screen. "Shizuo!" Came the shout of his name across the apartment. "You said you'd only be a minute." The raven grumbled when he returned.

Shizuo set the bundle down close to the door. "Sorry. It didn't want to stay in my pants. You have that effect on me."

In the bath the teen smiled brilliantly. Like one of those toothpaste commercials but sincere. Shizuo moved closer sitting on the edge of the bath. The ceramic was cold against the top of his thighs. "Thank you for coming back." He said softly caressing the raven's cheek.

Mikado's hand was both wet and warm covering his own. "I will always come back. For you. You should come in here."

"I'm already half dressed." Shizuo curled his fingers pulling away. One hand braced against the wall. Mikado tugged at the hem of the button down.

"Doesn't matter. The water is hot." Shizuo could see that a mass of fluffy white hills surrounding his lover.

"You should rest," The blonde gently disentangled smaller fingers.

"There's other things I can do."

Other things indeed. Shizuo struggled to watch the teen's face and hands at the same time. Their breakups had affected them all, although the blonde was sure Mikado's assertive side was becoming more prominent.

A small surprised gasp passed his lips. Breaking eye contact Shizuo eyed the teen's hand on his thigh, travelling inward. His gaze shot back to meet Mikado's innocent blue eyes.

Splash. With a tug Shizuo found himself sitting in hot water with his legs over the edge. His lover was smiling arms around his waist. It took a few moments to realise he was soaked through. His boxers weren't coming off without hardship. Something his lover didn't mind helping out with.

"I'll get you back for that." Shizuo eased the twisted material past his ankles. The button down followed leaving him naked. In the bath. Like Mikado wanted in the first place. "Move over. Might as well join you."

The teen nodded shyly as he lifted his long legs one after the other, sliding them underneath the water. Laying down Shizuo guided his lover into his lap? Encasing him with his arms. Placing a kiss against the teen's nape, Shizuo relaxed back against the tub.

x-x-x

"You're picking up the flea's habits." Shizuo commented leaning against the door frame to the study. Mikado sat at the desk looking focused. The only thing missing was a smirk and glasses to pull off Izaya's double. "Cat videos again?"

The teen's head snapped up sharply. Shizuo raised a brow in question. "No. Research."

"Ah. I made lunch. Come and eat," Shizuo uncrossed his arms stuffing his hands in his pockets. "before I eat your share."

"Coming." Mikado was up across the room, walking at his side. "I hope you made plenty. I'm starving."

Shizuo eyed the teen noticing the slight limp. "I wonder why? I made extra for both of us. I never thought I'd be glad to hear my stomach rumble."

They sat at the small table in the kitchen area. Too small for three but the right size for two. "This looks delicious."

Shizuo smiled pulling out a chair. He had taken one of the pillows from the bed to use as a cushion. "It's salmon fried rice. Nothing special."

"Maybe not to you." The teen murmured quietly taking a seat. Shizuo lifted the chair gently placing it close to the table. Taking his own seat he looked at the small mountain he would attempt to digest. "This is nice."

"Hm? You haven't touched it yet."

"I meant this. It's like we're on a date."

Shizuo shrugged. "It's no different from how it used to be."

"No." The teen looked at him from beneath hooded lids. "This is better. Just us. We're like newly weds."

"That escalated. We were dating a moment ago." The blonde teased. Neither one of them had touched their lunch.

"Like newly weds." Mikado repeated. "Shizuo. Marry me."

"Huh? You tried that with the flea. It didn't go so well."

"I didn't want to marry _him._" The teen spat bristling in his seat. "You let _him _mark you permanently. Why can't I?"

Shizuo didn't answer. His appetite had dissipated as quickly as it had arrived. Marriage was a life long commitment. He didn't intend to keep his precious lover. Mikado would go back to Izaya. Once the misunderstanding was cleared up, he would be left alone.

"Shizuo?" The teen's voice failed to penetrate his thoughts.

Shizuo stared down at his finger. A mark. That was what Mikado had called it. What better scar than a wedding band? He was the one that has wronged the raven. Shouldn't he be the one to choose the punishment?

"...is this what you want?" His head was lowered.

"Yes."

"More than anything?" Shizuo flinched at the hand resting atop of his.

"Yes."

"No matter what?"

"Yes. Shizuo I want to leave my mark on you. Something less painful than _that."_

Shizuo sighed sliding his hand out. "Okay. Let's get married." Lifting his head he stared at the raven sitting opposite him, eyes glittering with wetness.


	29. The scorned bride

**The scorned bride**

"Are you sure?" Izaya pressed a knuckle between his brows in frustration. "You might not believe it, Izaya. Shizuo left with his brother."

Typical. Shinra didn't believe him. His friend thought he was having a breakdown.

"I'm telling you, Shizu-chan has been captured." Izaya spoke through gritted teeth.

His friend was silent making him look up from the new laptop. The stupid thing was in the set up phase at thirty five percent. Shinra had his hands clenched, a nervous twitch in his knee.

"You know something." Izaya accused.

"I'm not supposed to say anything."

"What do you know? Tell me!"

Shinra lowered his head shuffling nervously. "...my beloved got an invitation."

"Invitation?" Izaya echoed. "For what?"

"Izaya, it might not be what you think it is." Shinra said quickly.

"For what?" He repeated in no mood for games.

"A wedding. Shizuo text her to come-alone."

Izaya gaped. A wedding? Shizuo was getting married? "Alone? That doesn't sound suspicious at all. Dual is threatening Kasuka. It has to be. Shizu-chan wouldn't get married. He wouldn't-"

"Izaya." Shinra stood up looking down at him solemnly. "Shizuo could have moved on. That's why he left. It is fast but maybe this is what he wants."

"It's not!" Izaya snapped standing to Shinra's height. His fists were clenched in an act to stop him breaking a second laptop. "It's not what Shizu-chan wants."

"Is it? Or is it what you don't want?"

Izaya scowled folding his arms. "Where did Celty go?"

"I don't know."

"Where is this wedding?"

"I don't know."

"Do you know anything helpful?" Izaya snapped. Somewhere in Ikebukuro his ex was about to get hitched. The thought made him sick. "Forget it. I'll look for myself. Shizu-chan is getting married over my dead body."

That was when the door opened and the dullahan walked in holding a bouquet.

x-x-x

The wedding was a small affair. Quickly arranged before either of them could change their minds. A minimum amount of people that included himself, Mikado, the priest and Celty. Shizuo hadn't asked Kasuka because his brother had only just left. He had been enough of a bother.

It was good to see a familiar face. Celty had a multitude of questions that only few were answered. She stood at his side whilst he and his lover said their vows, exchanged rings and then it was done.

He became husband to Kanra Orihara now Kanra Heiwajima. Mikado looked ecstatic about that. His lover was slightly less enthusiastic to see Celty. Choosing to stick to his side and invade every conversation she tried to hold. She had mentioned Izaya.

It was a simple ceremony. There was no church, no dressing up in tuxedos. The only things that had mattered were the rings that now sat on each of their fingers and the priest. The venue wasn't a church or any holy ground. It was in a hotel lobby closest to their current home.

It was over now. Shizuo looked down at the ring heaving a soft sigh. Celty's hand rested on his shoulder. _Congratulations. I hope you'll be happy together._

"Thank you, Celty-san. We will." Mikado interrupted. "Shizuo, we should be going."

Shizuo nodded seeing as the teen had chosen to forgo the wig and contacts. "Yeah. I'll see you later, Celty."

_Make sure you do. _

Shizuo nodded pulling the cap down over the raven's head. It offered a tiny bit of a disguise. They went their separate ways. Celty rode off on Shooter with the only wedding tradition they had gone along with. The two of them climbed into the waiting cab letting it take them back to the apartment.

x-x-x

"Are you sure that was wise?" Kanra asked.

"Getting married?" Mikado eyed the closed door. It wasn't uncommon for the blonde to walk in without knocking.

"Letting someone else be there. What if she tells _him_?"

"She won't. Celty is Shizuo's friend, not Izaya's. We have a more permanent mark on him now."

Kanra smiled smoothing her thumb against the band. "Yeah. We don't have to go by _his _name any more."

"All traces of Izaya Orihara have been removed." Mikado relaxed in the chair.

"Not all."

"Not all." The teen agreed. "I think it's time we dealt with the main problem at hand. We've had our forty eight hours. Shiki-san isn't going to wait any longer. Once we take care of Izaya we don't have to worry about Shizuo."

Kanra grinned wickedly. "Then let's go take down Izaya." She quickly fell silent hearing the catch on the door. Shizuo walked in holding a tray.

"I made you a drink. Do you want anything to eat?" The blonde asked setting the mug down.

"Yes please." Mikado smiled eyeing his husband's finger. With a smile he took the mug of coffee taking a sip. It was rich, bitter and burnt his tongue.

"Anything in particular?"

I'll have whatever you're having." A soft ping from the computer told him he had a message. Mikado smiled at his husband moving the mouse to open it.

_Nakura:- I think it's time we had a talk. _

Izaya. The informant wanted to meet. Well that saved them looking for him.

_Dual:- I agree. _

"More cat videos?" Shizuo asked.

"No. Just a joke." Mikado clicked off the window. "Can I help make lunch?" He asked hopping up from the chair.

"It's okay. I've got it handled." The blonde gently brushed him off turning to leave.

"Shizuo, I love you."

"Yeah. Me too."

_Nakura:- Russian Sushi four o'clock._

_Dual:- Nine o'clock. _

_Nakura:- see you there._

"See you there." Mikado closed the chat room. Tonight everything ended. Tomorrow he would rejoin Shiki as the yakuza's informant.

Xx-x-x

Izaya shot a glare at the flowers propped up in a tall vase on the table. Over his dead body indeed. An empty threat as it turned out. Shinra had told him too late. Celty had returned from the wedding.

Dual it seemed wasn't one for the big traditional setting. Had he known that...it would have still been too late. The yakuza's dog was one step ahead of him. Something Izaya intended to change with their meeting. Ikebukuro was his playground.

With the meeting set, Izaya looked over to the dullahan. Shinra was standing between them even though Celty could handle herself. She wouldn't give him any information in regards to Dual.

"...did he look happy?" Izaya asked quietly head in his hands.

A hand rested on his shoulder. With dread he looked at the screen held in front of him.

_Partly. _

Partly? What did that mean? Izaya shook his head ready to ask his next question. Celty was faster.

_Shizuo says he has it handled. If I get you involved it will only make things worse. _

"The protozoan is doing something dangerous again? He never stays out of trouble."

"I could say the same thing for you." Shinra laughed but there wasn't anything joyful about it. "You'll get him back."

"In a body bag if he continues like he is." Izaya scowled bitterly. "Celty, I- never mind."

Closing down the laptop, Izaya made to leave only for the dullahan to step in front of him. _You're up to something. _She accused.

"I'm always up to something."

_Don't interfere._

"I don't have a choice." Izaya sighed stepping around Celty. "Dual is my problem. Everything they're doing is to provoke me."

Celty typed something else but he was already out of the apartment hugging his jacket around him.

x-x-x

Marriage. It wasn't something he thought would ever happen. Shizuo's thumb smoothed over the silver band watching Mikado eat. As punishments went it was sweet. So bitter sweet he would choke on his own guilt.

It had been good to see Celty again. His best friend had looked happy. If not for the nervous twitch every time she typed. There had been few words between them that hadn't been witnessed. Shizuo knew Mikado didn't want him talking to his friends. The teen had no one himself. Not those he could see anyway. Izaya probably knew his lover was back. Knowing how persistent the raven could be it was a surprise they hadn't been found yet.

"Shizuo-san, you're scratching."

"Ah." Lowering his hand, Shizuo pushed away picking up his half empty plate from the table.

"Do you regret marrying me?"

"No. Never. I'm still...processing." On how much more he had betrayed Izaya. "I didn't expect things to happen so quickly."

"You're angry?" Mikado asked pushing his plate away. Shizuo shook his head pushing it back.

"No. Eat up. You'll need your stamina."

The teen flushed. "Um, I have to see a friend tonight. I have to be there for nine."

"Oh. Do you need an escort?"

"No. That's okay. I'll take a cab." Mikado smiled and resumed eating. Shizuo emptied his starting to wash up.

x-x-x

"Something wrong?" Kanra asked. Mikado shook his head making sure both the pen and knife were in his pocket. The jacket had a hood that would do nicely.

"Shizuo regrets marrying me."

"Us." His counterpart corrected.

"Us. He doesn't look happy." Mikado sighed making sure the computer was turned off.

"That's because he's pining after Izaya again. A problem we are taking care of."

"Mikado, the cab is here." Shizuo called. The teen left the study closing the door. His husband was by the window looking down at the street below.

"I'll be going now."

"Yeah. Have fun." Shizuo was in front of him giving him a kiss.

"We will." Mikado smiled embracing his husband. "I should be back by twelve."

"Do you want me to wait up for you?"

"No. I can let myself in."

"Then I'll be asleep." Mikado nodded leaving the apartment. Looking over his shoulder he could see Shizuo standing there with his arms crossed watching them.

"It'll all be over soon." Kanra said.

"Yeah. Not soon enough."

x-x-x

Shizuo stepped back into the apartment closing the door. So the kid did still have friends. Good for him. Leaning against the door Shizuo looked up around the empty apartment. It felt like so long ago since he had last been alone.

The apartment felt bigger than it was. The blonde didn't utter a sound in fear of would be echoed back. Alone was bad. Being alone meant there were no distractions. Nothing to keep him occupied.

Shizuo went straight to the bedroom stripping as he went. His nails raked across his chest. In the light he could see a part that hadn't scabbed over. It had scarred. A colour different from his own flesh much like the first original cut.

That distracted him for a few seconds before realising he was thinking about Izaya again. Throwing back the covers, Shizuo climbed into the bed rolling them around him like a sushi roll. Curling in on himself the blonde kept his hands to his sides, teeth gritted burrowing his head under the pillow.

x-x-x

Mikado stared out of the window. Kanra was humming happily stroking the knife. "Do you think it was okay to leave him alone?"

"Shizuo? Yeah."

"He looked depressed."

"Shizuo will be fine. He'll probably scratch at that wound again. We need to do something about that." Kanra flicked the knife open and closed.

"After this problem." Mikado sighed.

"You're not having second thoughts are you?"

Mikado grit his teeth. "No. This ends tonight."

"Glad to hear it. Mr cab driver, can't you go any faster?"

"This is fast enough." Mikado ignored Kanra's antics. She was eager to finish things but neither of them had seen Izaya since their return.

The informant had been the one to train them. To run, to use a knife, to love. How many of those past feelings would rear up and stop what needed to be done? The time the three of them had lived together was the most precious.

x-x-x

Almost nine o'clock. Izaya checked the time leaving Russian sushi. His belly was full with delicious tuna. Not that he could taste it. Still he needed to keep his strength up.

"So was there a point to me being here, or did you just want me to watch you stuff your face?" Aoba asked following after him.

"I'm meeting with Dual tonight. As the name suggests there are two of them. Two on one isn't really fair." Izaya shrugged as if that explained everything.

"So you thought I would be your second?" The teen laughed. "I don't want anything to do with you. Why would I help you?"

"Then why did you come? You owe me."

"How?" Aoba scowled. "Taking out the yellow scarves? Another gang will take its place."

"Sleeping with my sister."

The teen flushed choosing to look down at his feet. "We haven't done that yet." Aoba looked up at him accusingly. "I can't be the only one left to be your ally?"

Izaya said nothing. His silence made the teen smile coldly.

"I am aren't I? What happened to your lovers? You're not calling Mikado-sempai back? What about Shizuo?"

"...that's none of your business." Izaya scowled scanning the street.

"Aw. Did you abandon them or did they abandon you?" Izaya's fist clenched around his knife. "They were the only two to actually care about you."

"Shut up."

"I think you're finally understanding what it's like to be human." Aoba continued. "Now that you have nothing."

"I said shut up." Izaya snarled slamming the boy against the restaurant front. "You don't know anything. Shut your mouth before you join Kida-kun."

"That wasn't you." Aoba smirked up at him. "That was your replacement. The new informant. It's a shame Shizuo-san isn't still in Ikebukuro. Maybe Dual could replace you in that way too." Aoba laughed. It took every ounce of control not to smash the teen's face in. "Ah. I think your guest is here."

Izaya's head whipped around seeing a lone figure standing at a short distance away. They looked like a spectre with the dim light highlighting their present. Scanning the left and the right he tried to pinpoint where the other one would be.

"Looks like whoever that is doesn't like two against one either." Aoba pushed him away quickly escaping. "I'll give Kururi your regards."

Izaya let him run. His attention was on the figure that had turned to run away. "Oh no you don't." Kicking off the wall, Izaya chased after them. He was getting answers.

x-x-x

Mikado froze. A road's difference was between them. The informant wasn't alone. Something he hadn't accounted for. Still it would be two on two. Izaya turned around to face them and Mikado's breath caught. The reality sank in. Their old lover was in sight. The one they had loved wholeheartedly and the one who had betrayed them.

"Well what are we waiting for?" Kanra whispered.

"Not here." Mikado murmured. "Somewhere else." Turning on his heel he ran. Through the dim lit streets away from the brightly lit signs. Mikado fled to the darkness where the shadows swarmed covering his escape.

On the way to meet Izaya he had thought things through. The best way to rid themselves of the informant without causing any backlash. Kanra wanted to stab him with her knife over and over again. That would make them murderers. That would mean they couldn't stay with Shizuo.

Height. Mikado hissed eyeing the darkness of an alley to his right. Slinking inside he ran to the end smiling at the cold metal rungs heading up towards the roof.

Behind him he could here the slap of their pursuers feet against the concrete. Mikado closed his eyes ignoring the slither of fear curling around his joints. The noise he was making wasn't to conceal himself. It was to get to the top as quickly as possible.

Izaya was right behind him clambering onto the lower rung. The informant didn't speak, didn't throw insults. That made the silence that much intimidating.

Mikado hissed feeling pain in his ankle. A warm wetness trickled into his sock and he knew Izaya had cut him. Reaching the top of the roof, the teen jumped back landing on his butt when the informant swiped for him.

One red one blue eye widened unable to tear their eyes away as Izaya rose like an avenging demon, red eyes glittered with malice. Mikado quickly staggered up biting his lip at the pain. It was a paper cut. He reminded himself.

They weren't quite high enough. Not enough for the fall to be fatal. Mikado eyed his goal. Gritting his teeth he ran for the edge of the roof. The whiz of steel threw him down. Sharp knives sailing overhead.

Mikado cried out feeling one of the sharp blades slice his arm. Another paper cut. Izaya was gaining on him. Kanra forced their body to move only for Izaya to barrel into them knocking them back down.

His knees took the brunt of the fall. They were either grazed or bleeding. Either way it stung. "Caught you." Izaya's voice was cold against his ear. Colder than he had ever heard it. If they didn't kill him, he would kill them.

x-x-x

Dual was a teenager. Apparently only one of them saw fit to turn up. Izaya could use one against the other. This one was a boy judging by the tone of his cry. Izaya slammed his head against the brickwork keeping him down.

The yakuza's latest dog was a scrappy one, slamming an elbow into his rib cage. Izaya gasped releasing his hold. The teen's foot struck his stomach. Izaya quickly recovered slashing out to cut just below the teen's knee.

The boy cried out spinning around. Izaya hissed recoiling back as the sharp tip of a knife grazed his neck. Pressing a hand to the wound he stood watching as the hooded figure darted forward hurling himself from the roof.

It was a small distance, the teen already climbing the metal rungs. Izaya took three knives from his pocket throwing them at the boy's unguarded back. The three of them melted into darkness. Izaya glared running forward. His foot touched the edge of the rooftop propelling himself into the air.

With ease he landed on the same ladder a few rungs underneath the teen. Izaya pulled himself up feeling blood trickle into his top. A careless mistake. It was the knife wielder he faced. The muscles in his arms and legs burned, a tightness across his abdomen. Pain lanced through him as his current limitations kicked in. Not eating properly would do that.

The teen was ahead of him. Izaya heaved himself up on the next rung pushing his lead limbs. This building was higher and he knew that was the teen's goal. What the new informant didn't know was that he liked heights. Liked testing their limits and this wasn't about to stop him. The teen would have been safer down below.

Izaya pulled his body over the edge watching out for any cowardly attacks. The figure was standing close to the far corner crouched to attack. He'd been trained.

"Finally decided to stop running?" Izaya asked skipping to the centre. His movement were light despite his exhaustion but his aura deadly. His gaze roamed over the teen noting that the teen was more injured than him. His jeans were ripped, the jacket he wore was wet at the arm.

The boy had his hood up covering his face. What wasn't covered was a slim hand with a silver ring. Izaya's mouth twitched into a sneer. This was the one married to the fortissimo.

"You've caused me a lot of trouble." Izaya stalked forward flicking open his switchblade. "You've made a mess of my town and taken my toy. I want him back."

"No." Izaya flinched hearing the teen speak. It was painfully familiar. Rushing forward he tore the hood down seeing the skew cut black hair. One red eye one blue stared up at him harbouring nothing but contempt.

"...Mikado?" He asked in disbelief.

"You'd know us as Dual." His old lover smiled coldly. "Izaya-nii, die." Izaya blinked stumbling back as he was pushed. Too close to the edge. The knife was still in his hand but his fingers refused to move. They went lax the blade clattering to the rooftop.

His feet had frozen along with every muscle in his body. His eyes didn't leave Mikado's. Or was it Kanra? Izaya felt a hand against his chest, soft lips he frequently dreamed about against his mouth. Then the wind was cutting against his cheek and through his hair. The figure on the roof top smiled giving him a wave as he grew further away. Izaya watched him turn and leave.

He was falling. Izaya didn't know how far below the ground was. His back would be the first to feel the impact. The windows rushed past him. Izaya watched the moon fascinated. The corner of his vision blackened. Darkness rose coiling around his head.

The world tilted as something tugged harshly at his ankle. The ground grew beneath him, Gravity pulling him down. His body swung slamming mercilessly against the brickwork. Izaya groaned feeling his skull ring, arms hanging uselessly above his head.

Through the tinted grey, Izaya watched the shadows bunch together, gathering below him. A shiny silver sliced the air above him. Izaya fell finishing his fall. A thin layer of spongy shadow cushioned his fall. Badly.

"I've seen you save humans in a much gentler way." Izaya complained rubbing at his lower back glaring at the Dullahan.

_I told you not to interfere._

Izaya shook his head staggering to his feet. Everything tilted to one side. With embarrassment he realised he was held up in Celty's arms. "You knew." He accused.

_Shizuo has it handled. _

Izaya watched the letters blur. "You know what this means?" He mumbled slurring his words. Celty typed something else but he couldn't read it. "...I owe Shizu-chan an apology." At least that's what he meant to say. Celty dropped him. The helmet dissipated and Izaya passed out.

x-x-x

Mikado couldn't remember how he got back to the apartment. All he remembered was the shock of seeing Izaya fall. The need to turn and flee before watching his old lover's body hit the asphalt. Logically it would have made more sense to go to Shiki. His new mentor and a member of the yakuza. No one would expect it was him. There had been no witnesses. Aoba didn't know his identity.

Closing the door Mikado peeled off his shoes limping to the bathroom. The light was blinding. Taking off his jacket the teen examined his arm. Izaya hadn't gone easy. It would probably need stitches. His pants followed, crouching to check out the cuts on the back of his legs. There was one across his hips he hadn't felt or noticed. They had only taken Izaya down due to surprise.

Izaya hadn't known, hadn't expected. The truth had floored the informant giving them ample time to make their move. Mikado looked down at his hands seeing blood where there was none. The plan had been a success. Izaya Orihara was gone.

"Mikado?" Came a sleep deprived voice. Shizuo stood in the doorway looking haunted. "What happened?"

"I got attacked. I'm okay, Shizuo."

"That looks deep." The blonde growled. "I'll call the hospital."

"No!" Mikado reached out. "It's okay." A sob caught in his throat. Tears streaked down his cheeks.

"Mikado?" Shizuo was there full of concern. Mikado threw his arms around the blonde. The dam broke and he bawled like a baby. Izaya was gone. They had rid themselves of the betrayer. He just didn't expect it to hurt so much. In his head Kanra had fallen silent.


	30. Awake and alive

**Awake and alive**

"Well that was fun." Izaya drawled sarcastically.

"Be quiet." Shinra ordered bandaging his neck. "The dead don't speak."

"Good thing then or I'd be tearing Celty apart- verbally of course."

The dullahan was leaning against the wall trying to blend into it. Izaya wasn't in the best of moods having his brain rattle around in his skull for a bit. She could have warned him about the impromptu bungee cord wrapped around his ankle. His limbs were sore but his injuries were more psychological compared to what he had inflicted on the teen. That wasn't something he wanted to think about for the moment. Accusingly he shot a tired glare at dullahan.

"You should have told me the moment you found out."

Celty didn't respond. Izaya didn't think she would. Shinra had a tray of sharp pointy objects he wouldn't hesitate to use on him. With a pained shrug he asked his next question.

"You were there the entire time? Skulking around in the shadows." Izaya smirked. "That's quite stalkerish of you. Adding voyeurism to your skill set?"

He was angry. Angry enough to have a go at taking down the woman bathed in shadows. If not for the numbed emptiness in his chest cavity.

"Izaya, my beloved was only helping out a friend. This isn't her fault." Shinra defended Celty like he usually did. "Shizuo has things handled."

"That's where you're wrong." Izaya murmured with certainty. He didn't get to elaborate. Anri walked in looking around warily. She knew she had interrupted.

"The hospital called. Kida-kun has woken up."

"Great." Izaya clapped his hands. "This is just getting better and better. He's lost his memory right?"

Anri gave him a strange look. "No. He's awake and talking. He wants to see you Orihara-san."

Izaya raised a brow hopping up from the sofa. "Does he? I'm afraid I can't. I'm dead at the moment."

"Sorry?"

"Don't be. Terrible way to go. Irony is the worst."

The teen looked further confused. Izaya brushed down Shinra's clothes. They expected him to keep his head down. To keep up the pretence of being dead. To leave everything to the protozoan with a plan. Because the first one had worked out all too well.

Celty decided being a wallflower wasn't for her stepping away to join Anri. The dullahan draped an arm around her drawing her gently from the room.

"You're not going to hurl her across the room?" Izaya called after her.

"Don't be an asshole." Shinra rolled his eyes. "Do you have any other injuries?"

"Apart from my pride? I'm usually the one doing the molesting in the shower." Izaya quipped pacing like a caged animal.

"I was checking you over."

Izaya gasped covering his mouth. "Shinra! Whatever will Celty think?"

"Not that." Shinra looked disgusted.

"You're not my type." Izaya flopped back onto the sofa. "Being dead is boring."

"You were the one that fell off a building."

Izaya closed his eyes crossing his arms over his chest in classic dead fashion. "I was pushed. How does this look?"

"Like you're an idiot. You can't leave."

"Obviously." Izaya said without opening his eyes. "Can't go against doctor's orders. Although technically if I'm dead then you failed."

"Comatose then." Shinra stood over him. Izaya cracked one eye open. "Izaya. This is serious. If Celty hadn't been there..."

"I'd be dead. Which I am now." Izaya shrugged. "You've prepared a room for me?" He sat up regarding his friend. "Don't worry I won't be staying long."

"Moving on?" Shinra asked cracking a smile.

"Shinra. Anyone would think you'd really want me dead."

"No one wants that." Shinra shuddered no longer looking at him. "Last night could have been really bad."

"It was. I think I have whiplash."

"You're being an asshole."

"You're being judgemental." Izaya grinned pulling himself up so his hands rested on his knees. "Why don't you ask what's really bothering you?"

Shinra sighed giving him the once over. "How are you feeling...emotionally?"

Izaya schooled his features giving his friend a solemn look. "Dead."

Shinra shook his head turning away. "You should trust Shizuo."

"Oh I'm not worried." Izaya shrugged feeling the muscles in his shoulders protest.

"Then you won't interfere?" Shinra asked slowly doubting him.

"Not until I need to." Izaya grimaced stretching his aching body across the sofa. "I should do the whole safety suicide thing again."

"Izaya!" Shinra looked horrified.

"It was a joke."

"It better be. Do you need anything?"

Izaya closed his eyes. "I'm dead remember. I don't need anything. You might want to prepare a medical kit. Place it by the front door."

"You're not hurting Celty." Shinra scowled. "Oh. You mean Mikado?"

"If that's what you believe." Izaya turned slowly onto his side feeling pain travel down his back. It would be a range of shades in the coming days.

Shinra winced at his pain. Celty's half assed attempt to save him had caused the worst of the injuries.

"Shizuo is handling things."

"So you keep saying. I won't do anything. I'll stay in the apartment." Izaya could feel Shinra's doubt. "But if anything happens its on you and Celty."

"Trust Shizuo." Shinra repeated leaving him alone. Probably to tell Celty everything was okay.

Izaya sighed cringing in on himself. Trust wasn't the issue. He knew both of his lovers and what each one was capable of. Now that Dual's identity was revealed, Izaya was calm and once again in control. Everything had happened like his ex had predicted and attempted to stop. He wondered if the protozoan realised he had only made things worse. Mikado's hatred had been pointedly directed at him.

x-x-x

Thunk. Thunk.

Shinra came running at the sound, looking first at the wall where his scalpels were and then to glare at him. Izaya responded by throwing another surgical tool. This one bounced off the wall landing somewhere close by.

"My medical equipment isn't your toy." Shinra snatched the tray of remaining implements away. Which he should have done in the first place.

"Give me my knives."

"No. I thought the dead didn't need anything."

"I could be a poltergeist." Izaya shrugged making a mental note to stop doing things that caused him pain. "Is your phone fully charged?"

Shinra gave him a strange look. "You want to speak beyond the grave?" His friend was finally developing a sense of humour. "It's charging now. Celty was playing a game again."

"Make sure you keep it on you." Izaya said flexing his fingers. "Celty too."

The dullahan was seated in the kitchen. Izaya could see her eavesdropping. Now that everything was crystal clear, he thought back to the knives aimed at Mikado's back. He should probably thank her for safeguarding the teen. Then he felt pain coarse through him and decided not to.

"I get that you're worried-"

"I'm not worried. It's not my problem if you and your beloved presume to know my lovers better than I do."

"Exes." Shinra quietly reminded him. Izaya gave him his best smile.

"I'm bored." He whined childishly. Annoying the couple was going to be his new favourite past time. "If you're going to keep me here at least entertain me."

Celty strode out her hands clasped together. Izaya's interest was peaked holding out his hand like a small child awaiting candy. His smile slipped seeing it was a black spherical object. Soft and spongy.

"It's a ball." Izaya sighed squeezing it in his hand. A shadow ball. How boring.

_I believe in Shizuo. _A message too. Izaya rolled his eyes glancing at the words. He did too. That was why he was waiting for the inevitable. _I'm sorry if you got hurt in the fall._

Izaya laughed hurling the ball at the wall. It bounced back landing in his open hand. "If you really want to make it up to me there's something you can do." Moving his hand he beckoned the dullahan closed whispering his evil scheme.

x-x-x

Thud. The ball hit the wall coming back to him. Izaya threw it again briefly pondering if Shinra wanted him to do it. The illegal doctor hadn't stopped him this time.

On the table at his side was a second cold cup of coffee with an untouched sandwich. Celty was hovering around giving him a meaningful look. Well her body language was.

_Can we talk? _The dullahan finally approached his temporary bed.

"Well I can talk." Izaya pointed out the obvious. "I'm not sure if you can."

_You're angry._

"You're a therapist now?"

_Izaya! Please? _

Thud. Izaya caught the ball, setting his only entertainment for the moment down.

"What do you want to know? You're lucky I don't charge for my services."

_Do you hate me and Shinra?_

"No."

_Do you still love Shizuo and Mikado?_

Izaya tensed shrugging it off. "None of your business. Are we done?"

_I'm trying to help. _Celty bristled. _I know Mikado's actions hurt you_

Izaya looked away. "They didn't. I was angry before. I panicked. Finding out the truth has cleared things up."

_Mikado tried to kill you. You're not angry?_

Izaya shrugged wondering why he hadn't reminded himself not to do so any more. "Why would I be? Trying to kill me is a requirement for being with me. Shizu-chan started slacking."

_I don't understand. _Celty typed thrusting that screen in his path.

Izaya smiled not bothering to dignify her with a response. He went back to throwing the ball at the wall.

x-x-x

Celty's phone buzzed. Izaya looked over expectantly. Shinra did too, giving him a worried look. It wasn't the call. The phone was handed to Anri. The hospital then. Shinra visibly relaxed, shoulders slumping.

"Do you want to talk about it?" His friend asked meeting his eyes. Izaya smirked giving a small shake of his head.

"The day I need you as my therapist is the day we're all in trouble. Stick to sharp pointy things." Izaya waved him away. "I mean it Shinra. Stop asking about my feelings."

Shinra stared at him like a bug. Izaya could feel him trying to work out what to do. As long as it was away from him he didn't mind. The weight of Shinra's gaze was heavy. Izaya closed his eyes laying flat against the sofa. His back protested but he could suck it up.

Shinra wanted to poke and prod at him until he was dissected. Izaya blamed Shingen for that. It looked like his friend had finally got the message. Opening his eyes to slits he could see Celty pulling him away. The two of them vacated the room leaving him blissfully alone.

"Orihara-san." Or not. There was another nuisance waiting in line. Anri clearly wanted his attention standing at the end of the sofa.

"Hm?"

"Kida-kun's injuries. Mikado-kun did them?"

"Yes." Izaya answered simply. "Anything else?"

"No." The teen had already scurried off.

x-x-x

Mikado had slipped. Kanra had become another personality of sorts. The two of them had then become Dual, to fool him. Which had worked. What the blonde has tried to prevent had happened. What he had tried to prevent had happened.

Mikado was with Shiki. The teen had become the yakuza's pawn and that didn't come without its risk. The fortissimo could be sharp at times but dense at others. Both Celty and Shinra insisted that the blonde had everything handled. Why were they so certain? It wasn't just friendship. There was something else. Sitting up sharply Izaya bit back a cry of pain, going in search of Celty.

She was on the balcony resting her arms against the steel railing. Her body was leaning at an angle, curves fluid as ever underneath the black jumpsuit. Izaya let his gaze drop to the slim curve of her lower back. A small smile touched his lips at the thought of giving the dullahan a little push. Just to return the favour.

"Hypocrite." The raven murmured the accusation. "There's only one here that interfered and it's not me. What did _you _do?"

_What he asked me to do. _

"Which was?" Izaya demanded. He had a theory. He always had a theory. The answer didn't come from the dullahan but Shinra behind him. Izaya stilled at the knowledge feeling a cold chill spread through his body.

x-x-x

"It looks like you're feeling better." Shinra told the figure at the door. "Come in."

Anri eased the wheelchair forward into the apartment. Masaomi looked haunted. His eyes raised widening as if he'd seen a ghost. Izaya lounged on sofa draped in fluid shadow.

"I-I thought you said that bastard fell off a building?" The blonde accused with a stutter. His eyes never left his. Izaya kept his face impassive.

"He did." Shinra told him sadly.

"Oh." Masaomi continued to stare at him. "So can...anyone else see him?"

Shinra shook his head turning away. "We thought it would be safer for you stay here."

"...right." Izaya didn't need to be a professional to read the tortured features. "So...Izaya really croaked?"

Izaya smirked at the provided entertainment. It would be so easy to string the teen along. He would have done so if not for the more pressing matters. Celty's fault- again. "Your gullibility will get you killed." Izaya sat up dismissing the shadows around him.

"Cockroach." The blonde sneered. "Should've known you wouldn't be dead. He wouldn't-"

"Ah. We'll never know." Izaya shrugged standing tall over the chair. "What do you intend to do?"

"What can I do?" Masaomi snarled glaring at him. "You've dragged him down to your level. I tried to help and he did this. That's not my friend any more. That's a monster of your cultivation."

Izaya inclined his head. "Is that so? I can't take all the credit. His best friend did after all try and kill him first."

"Go to hell." The blonde brought a fist down on the arm of the chair. "You and Shizuo did this. Don't worry I understand perfectly now."

"Do you?" Izaya raised a brow shifting on one foot.

"Yeah. Mikado if that is who he still is, can't be saved. You want him. Take him. I'll be leaving as soon as I can."

"Kida-kun..."

Izaya said nothing. Their friendship couldn't have meant anything if the blonde wasn't running away not once but twice.

Celty stood close to the pair typing on her phone. Everyone stilled as the phone burst to life. The dullahan's helmet rolled off. Izaya took the phone without a word. Pressing it against his ear he could hear uncontrollable sobbing.

_"C-Celty-san."_ Mikado. This was the call Izaya had been waiting on. _"Help me. I-I did something bad. He's bleeding. It won't stop and I-I-I didn't mean it. Please! The address is-"_

Izaya tensed reciting the address in his mind. It wasn't even a block from the hotel the pair had gotten hitched at. Handing the phone back he grabbed his shoesand the medical kit Shinra had so dutifully laid out, running from the apartment.

Celty caught him before he reached the bottom. _It will be faster if I drive us. _

Izaya stiffened rubbing at the lump in his throat he couldn't dislodge. They had the address and the transport.

_What's wrong? Shizuo will be okay._

Izaya was thankful for the helmet materialising around his head. It was time. Their reunion was long overdue. Swinging a leg over the bike his arms held around Celty's waist.

"Go. Before I change my mind." Izaya pleaded closing his eyes. The motorcycle roared to life speeding towards their destination. Izaya pressed against her back feeling sick. Butterflies swarmed in his stomach. This was it.

x-x-x

Izaya hit the door as Celty rushed to knock. There was no answer. A wave of shadow rammed the door from it's hinges. Izaya forced one foot in front of the other. His gaze gravitated to the teen curled up on the floor covered in blood. At the noise blue eyes looked up seeing Celty.

Mikado screamed recoiling. Izaya smiled wryly. That was right he was supposed to have kicked the bucket. At the sound another figure came to meet them. The fortissimo was clutching his stomach, his right side covered in blood. The blonde looked over to him eyes widening and looking like he had seen a ghost.


	31. Three's a crowd

**Three's a crowd**

Mikado had undoubtedly lost his mind. It was to be expected after everything he had been through. At least that's what he reasoned. Kanra was no help whatsoever and wouldn't be for a while. He hoped it was only a while. Mikado had come to enjoy the company inside his head. It made things less lonely. That still didn't account for his hallucinations. Must be guilt. Why else would he be seeing Izaya skip around his apartment like he owned it? The man had fallen. He had been the one to push him off the top of that building just like his ex lover had coaxed so many before.

Mikado had stopped screaming after Celty had subdued him with her shadows. Moments after Shinra had come through the door complaining that he was the doctor. At least that's what he thought had happened. It was a whirlwind of bandages, shadows and demands.

Now that time seemed to slow the teen looked around observing what was happening. He was on the floor handcuffed to the bed frame. One silver bracelet locked around his wrist and the other his ankle. Mikado didn't feel the need to pull at his restraints. They were secure.

Shizuo, his husband was laying still on the bed looking like a corpse. Another body to add to the growing count. Mikado felt a cruel bitter smile tug at his mouth. He was well on his way to becoming yakuza. At the door he could hear a rush of voices. Two. Both male. Mikado cocked his head trying to listen in. It sounded like Izaya but that was impossible. The other one was definitely the doctor. Maybe the other voice belonged to Celty. He had never heard her speak.

Whatever was said he couldn't make sense of. He heard the door slam and then Izaya breezed back into the room standing in front of him. The informant stared down at him a range of emotions flickering in his eyes. Mikado stared back feeling guilt sucker punch him in the gut. He felt empty without Kanra. The extraordinary part of his personality had a name. Mikado knew that now that she was gone, cloaked in a thick haze meant to numb him.

Things hadn't been as they first seemed. Maybe if he hadn't acted like a petulant child on a revenge spree things would have turned out different. Izaya wasn't saying anything. Maybe he couldn't. At that thought it became more imperative he should say something.

"...hi." The teen murmured. As far as greetings went it wasn't terrible. Ordinary, boring, safe.

"Hi." Izaya answered back sounding as empty as he thought.

Mikado nodded trying to shape his words. "I-I'm sorry I killed you."

"Why?"

Instead of answering, Mikado voiced his own question, awkwardly drawing his knees to his chest. "Was it true? Shizuo...told me."

"Ah. Of course he did. What exactly did he say?"

Mikado choked on pained laughter. What hadn't his husband said? "He told me it was all his fault. He and Kasuka-san arranged everything. They forced you to abandon me. I killed you for nothing."

"You didn't." Izaya sighed crouching down to his eye level. "A valiant effort though. If you wanted to join in the rough play, you could have just asked."

Mikado let his gaze flicker doubtfully over his ex. Izaya was on his knees shuffling forward to place a hand on his cheek. Warm. It was warm. Tears sprang to his eyes brushed away before they could fall.

"H-how?" Mikado trembled.

"It looks like we have a lot to discuss." Izaya sighed looking between him and the bed. "First things first."

Mikado froze watching Izaya loom over him like an expectant wraith. A bubble of warmth washed around his shoulder taking him long pain filled moments to realise Izaya was hugging him. Small tremors rocked the informant stunning him into silence.

This wasn't the cruelty of being coldly abandoned. Mikado desperately sucked in cold aching breaths struggling to breathe. He had made a mistake. They had made a mistake. Awkwardly the teen tried and failed to bring an arm around the older raven. His leaden limbs flopped to the floor like a puppet with its strings snipped. His tears ran freely down his face betraying his own emotions and that was okay.

Izaya backed away abruptly sitting on his butt looking down at his legs while he crossed them. His eyes were dry but barely. "You came back." Izaya said raw.

"Yes." Mikado answered forcing out the word.

"You joined Shiki." Not a question. The informant already knew the truth he just needed to confirm it.

"Yes."

Izaya nodded sucking in a breath. One hand ran back through his hair. "You're...sick?"

Mikado nodded not trusting himself to speak. He was sick in the mind. Kanra was something that shouldn't exist but she was a part of him lost to drugs. Drugs that were used to cure the ill.

Izaya said nothing making himself comfortable. The raven hadn't said anything about the body on the bed. Mikado found his mouth sparse for words containing the blonde. Betrayal coursed like hot molten lava. Vaguely the teen realised he had only moved the cross-hairs of his vengeance to another.

Instead he focused on the informant studying him like a bug in a glass. Licking his lips he wondered if it was his turn to speak. Izaya seemed to be waiting for something.

"...what?" Mikado asked.

"Don't I get the pleasure of talking with your sickness?" Izaya tossed at him.

Mikado clenched his fists refusing to look at the body on the bed. Stupidly he found himself staring at the small wedding band glinting on his finger. "She's...gone." Izaya waited for him to elaborate. "I was given something."

"Ah. Maybe when it wears off then." Izaya rocked back looking like he was about to get up.

"Is that it?" Mikado blurted. "I tried to kill you."

"You did. Compared to Shizu-chan that was more of a prank."

Mikado flinched at his husband's name. "He's not dead either." Izaya shrugged. "That little wound is only a scratch to him."

The teen chewed at his lower lip torn between pain and relief. The anger was still there but not as it had been when he had first heard Shizuo's confession.

"Shinra patched him up and he insisted on...Shinra gave him something to help him rest." Izaya told him quietly not looking at the bed either.

"To stop him leaving." Mikado tugged at the ring on his finger. It bit into his skin a little too tight. "He never intended to stay." The teen wrestled with his finger tearing the ring and a layer of skin off. It left a reddened indent.

Izaya caught it as he threw it to the floor. "No. He didn't."

Mikado recoiled at the confirmation. He had known from the beginning that Shizuo was temporary. The blonde had always been looking to say something and now he knew what it had been.

"I thought it was you." Mikado explained numbly. "I thought Shizuo wanted to leave because of you. He was always thinking about leaving. You hurt him."

"I did." Izaya twirled the ring between his fingers. Mikado felt a sharp jab of possessives wanting his ring back. The meaning was empty but that didn't mean he wanted Izaya or anyone else to have it. "I was angry at him."

"And now?" Mikado asked sensing something different. The informant was relaxed. From his days at the raven's side he knew that meant the puzzle was complete. Izaya knew everything and that brought down a sense of calm and airy confidence.

"Relieved. The break hasn't been one I would take again." Izaya shrugged tossing the ring back. "You married him."

"Yeah. I wanted to make him happy. All he wanted to do was return me to you." Mikado scowled at the ring. "I'm not a parcel."

"Do you hate Shizu-chan now?" Izaya pushed himself up taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "Do you hate me still?"

Mikado opened his mouth to answer closing it again. "I don't know." He decided. "I was hurt and angry. I felt like you'd abandoned me to stay with Shizuo. Then suddenly it wasn't just me. There was a voice in my head to keep me company. I think I lost control."

Izaya laughed pain flashing across his eyes as they momentarily flicked to the blonde sealed in slumber. "You and me both." Mikado drew back rattling the small chains connecting the cuffs. Izaya's emotions were laid bare for him to see in their entirety. "...I would have come for you. I planned to right after I confronted Shizu-chan."

Mikado sighed slumping against the wall. The pillows from the bed had been propped up behind him. "...I came back to be with the two of you." He confessed closing his eyes. There was only so long he could look at the raven without feeling his heart crack. "Shiki found me first. I- we thought about using him to meet you. Then we found Shizuo. We thought you'd abandoned him too."

"It was supposed to be his punishment." Izaya's voice was growing quieter by the minute. Mikado risked taking another look. There was no lies, no ego. Just a broken man. "Turns out I damned both of us. I couldn't eat or sleep."

"Neither could Shizuo." Mikado whispered. "We tried to heal him. It wasn't enough. He wanted you. I was angry."

"I know." Izaya said nothing further standing slowly. It reminded Mikado of a zombie trying to shuffle forward. The informant wasn't comfortable in their exchange.

"Izaya. Can you let me out now?" Mikado smiled hopefully raising his hand as far as it would go.

"No. I need you stay there whilst I figure this out." Mikado dropped his wrist in his lap knowing how futile it would be to argue. Izaya was at the bedroom door with his back turned. "I'm glad you're okay, Mikado-kun. I'm relieved you turned out to be Dual. If it was anyone else..." The door closed and that was the end of that.

Mikado sighed staring at the closed door. Izaya's words rang clear in his mind. A small shudder worked its way along his spine. If anyone else had touched Shizuo they would have suffered. Izaya still loved the fortissimo his admiration crystal clear. He was loved too. He hadn't felt a lie in any of the informant's words. "Kanra. What do I do?"

His counterpart didn't answer.

x-x-x

Shizuo was no stranger to pain. The bullet that had torn a hole in his side paled in comparison to the arrival of his ex lover. Despite the belief Mikado had told him he had known couldn't be true, it had still been a shock to see Izaya walk straight through the front door.

Caught by surprise, Shinra and Celty, the blonde had found himself cleaned, wrapped and bound. A faint buzzing numbness spreading slowly through his body like a virus. They had drugged him. But he couldn't bring himself to be angry about it.

That had been the plan to help his husband. Mikado hadn't been mentally stable, his worst fears coming to the fore. At the wedding Celty had slipped him the medication. From there he had the difficultly of getting them in the teen orally through food or drink.

Mikado had trusted him implicitly whilst they were both in the apartment lost in their honeymoon phase. Shizuo hadn't wanted the drugged teen to leave keeping an eye out for the side effects.

Shiki. The blue eyed raven had been caught up with the yakuza. Both his and Izaya's worst fears had been realised. Mikado had come home suspicious and shaky finding the box and him dosing the coffee.

Shizuo closed his eyes remembering the pain and betrayal. Mikado venting at him at the top of his lungs and a gun. Shiki had given the kid a gun. They both had ammunition. He had been hit with the news their former lover was dead and he had hit back with the truth. Izaya was innocent. He had been the one to banish the teen.

His confession had been met with strained silence, disbelief, anger, pain and lastly the crack of a pulled shot by a jittery trigger finger. The bullet went through him yet all he had felt was a slight pinch. Shizuo had been more concerned in disarming mikado so he didn't do anything stupid.

The kid had called Shinra.

Opening his eyes the blonde tried not to inhale. His heart had stuttered at the sight of Izaya standing at the door. It felt like they hadn't seen each other in so long. The raven's scent choked him announcing his presence and the fact he was still within its walls.

Shizuo reached for his chest scowling at his fingers moulded to claw. With a sigh he looked at the empty side of the bed noticing the teen unconscious on the floor. Getting out of bed, Shizuo shuffled around the bed eyeing the handcuffs. Anger and sympathy ruthlessly tore through him at the sight. Like a candle blown out the rage died all too quickly. His job was done. He no longer had a say.

That didn't stop him bending low to gently snap the restraints like plastic or lifting the teen from the floor to rest on the soft mattress. Shizuo raised the covers high smiling faintly as the teen curled into them. It was time to leave.

They'd left him naked from the waist up but not without clothes. Shizuo pulled on a clean shirt leaving the bedroom. Izaya's scent wafted under his nose making him stagger at the potency. He would always be able to tell where the informant was. Right now he was behind the closed door of the study.

If anyone could help Mikado away from Shiki's clutches it was Izaya. Slipping his shoes on the blonde quietly opened the door ready to slink out of the apartment like a guilty secret.

"Not going to say goodbye?" Izaya's voice submerged him in guilt and longing. "Or hello again for that matter."

Shizuo chose to say nothing.

Izaya darted forward faster than a snake blocking the door. For the first time their eyes met. The raven was thinner looking like he was recovering from a sickness. His eyes were wide and haunted and Shizuo realised he had been expected to leave. Izaya had been waiting for him to try.

"You look like shit." The raven told him.

"Same to you." Shizuo reached out easing his palm against Izaya's shoulder pushing him out of the way.

"You're running away." The statement made him bristle. Shizuo held onto his anger like a lifeline. It was the only thing stopping him from collapsing.

"No. My job is done." Shizuo growled.

Izaya laughed at him. "Done? You married Mikado and now you want to up and leave?"

"I returned him to you." Still Shizuo wouldn't part with the ring. He was entitled to one memento. Izaya had left a scar it was only fair the teen left something too.

"So now what?"

"I'm going to Kasuka like we originally planned." Shizuo shrugged.

"I meant us, Shizu-chan. Are we enemies again? Is that what you want?" Izaya was glaring at him emotions flicking through his eyes in a slideshow that made him both dizzy and cautious.

"We're...nothing." Shizuo said quietly. "I won't see you again. Get out of my way, flea."

Izaya held his ground stepping forward. Shizuo hissed feeling a sharp pain in his side where the raven pressed harshly against his healing wound. Even without a weapon the damn flea was so annoying.

"No. I'm not leaving. Not this time. Mikado needs you."

"He hates me." Shizuo looked back at the bedroom. "You two can be together now."

"I need you."

Shizuo laughed at that pained and bitter. Exhaustion was setting in his tired bones. "Good- ugh." Izaya's fingers stabbed inside his wound tearing at the stitches. "You want to kill me?"

"No. I want you to stay." Izaya pressed him against the door slipping his bloodied fingers out.

"I don't want to."

"Tough." Shizuo closed his eyes hating how close the informant was. He was drowning and Izaya didn't give a damn. "I'm not letting you go."

Shizuo watched the hem of his shirt turn from white to red. Izaya touched his cheek so gently it burned. "Don't." He warned. "Not that."

"Shizu-chan, I can't do this alone." Izaya whispered looking like a beautiful demon. Shizuo faltered focusing on the pain.

"I said don't." He ground out slapping Izaya's hand away. "Something is...broken. I broke it. I need to go."

Izaya's eyes flared the raven's body rigid. "You're right. But not yet. I need your help. Shiki isn't going to give Mikado up without a fight. Not to mention the other threats."

"I-"

"Please, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo lowered his head. "Fine. I'll help you take down Shiki. That's it."

Izaya smiled patting his shoulder with a bloody hand. "Thank you. Take your shirt off. I'll take care of your wound."

Shizuo took a step back. "I agreed to stay. That's it. Piss off and leave me alone. I'll deal with it myself."

"Shizu-chan-"

Shizuo shrugged Izaya's hand from his sleeve. His voice dropped to a pained whisper. "Leave me alone."

Striding into the bathroom, Shizuo closed the door peeling the shirt from his body. Izaya had reopened his wound leaving a bloody mess. A knock on the door made him flinch knowing it was the informant. Clambering into the bath, the blonde reached out gritting his teeth to turn on the water. Already he was regretting his decision to stay.


	32. Tensions running high

**Tensions running high**

They were under the same roof but worlds apart. Shizuo confined himself to the bathroom moving to the kitchen only when he was hungry or when one of the others needed to shower or use the toilet. Mikado was confined to the bedroom. The handcuffs had been removed replaced with a much longer one that whilst still kept him chained to the bed, gave him freedom to walk the perimeter of the room. Izaya was the one in control tasked in the responsibility of watching over the troubled teen. He stayed in the study working over the cases Shiki wanted finished. Frequently he would check on the teen and occasionally catch Shizuo leaving the bathroom or the kitchen.

The gun was locked away- or rather the pieces of the weapon were locked away after the blonde had broken the mechanism. Shizuo as expected didn't want to talk. Once Shiki was taken care of he would leave, Izaya knew it. Not that he would let him. It was just a case of fixing what was broken.

The first step was communication. That was the reason for Izaya knocking on the bathroom door for the umpteenth time that morning. It was barely 11 o'clock.

Shizuo opened the door grumbling about his weak bladder before striding past him into the kitchen. Izaya watched him go noticing his ex was slower. Whether he was aware or not, one hand pressed against his covered wound.

The door slammed shut and that was all he would see until the next time he knocked. Stepping inside Izaya glanced at the bloodied bandages piled in the corner by the small bin. Next to them was an empty box of pain killers. Izaya picked them up to double check. It had been a new box last night.

Clenching the box in one hand he came to the conclusion that the blonde had overdosed. There was water in the bath tinted pink. Izaya grit his teeth at the bloody hand print on the edge of the bath. "Shizu-chan!"

At the kitchen he threw open the door seeing the fortissimo with a sandwich in hand. Izaya stood in the doorway holding out the box. "How many of these have you taken?"

"You've finished with the bathroom?" Shizuo leaned against the counter taking a bite of the sandwich.

"Answer the question." Izaya demanded.

"Why?"

"What?" Izaya faltered seeing his ex didn't care.

Why do I have to answer to you?" Shizuo elaborated. "I'm here to take down the yakuza. Call me when you need my strength until then what I do is my business."

"Your strength? You hate violence. You do everything to avoid it."

"Do I?" Izaya tossed the box in the bin taking a step forward. The rest of the sandwich joined it, Shizuo striding past. Lashing out he grabbed the brute's arm, letting go at the warning glare. Izaya shuddered hearing the bathroom door slam.

Mikado was much better company. The teen didn't argue with him or try to escape. He sat on the bed content with his situation. Izaya joined him on the bed.

"Your work for Shiki is done."

"Thank you."

"You've calmed down." Izaya noted studying the raven.

"There's a reason for that, Izaya-nii."

"Kanra. You always did like sleeping in."

"It helps when you're not drugged." Mikado murmured.

"So what's the plan?" Kanra asked. Izaya smiled pleased that he had no problem telling them apart. "Is it your turn to poison me?"

Izaya stared right back meeting the glare head on. "Why would I? I created you. It's only fair I take responsibility."

"...you're not going to try and get rid of Kanra?" Mikado asked looking doubtful.

"No. You can be whoever you want to be."

The teen slumped against him. Izaya risked touching him, one hand lightly on his shoulder. "Can I believe that's true?"

Izaya dropped a kiss on Mikado's forehead. "Yeah. You're perfect as you are."

"Ha. You're the only one that thinks so." Kanra scoffed quietly.

"Shizu-chan thought you needed help." Izaya sighed defending his ex. "He was trying to protect you."

"Kanra isn't harmful." Mikado whispered easing both arms around him. Izaya smiled ruffling the artificial hair.

"Prove it. That's the only way you'll convince the protozoan." Izaya paused. "Do you want to is the the question." The teen was silent but given what had happened it was expected. "It's almost lunchtime. Do you want anything to eat?"

The teen stiffened. So much for that. "You can make it yourself if you're still worried." Izaya soothed.

"When are you going to take off this chain?" Kanra asked making a show of lifting one foot.

"When I know your intentions."

"We're not going to run off to Shiki." Mikado backed up his counterpart.

"That's only one of them." Izaya shrugged. "It should be easier to deal with you one at a time."

x-x-x

Mikado knew Izaya wasn't talking about him and Kanra. As far as he could tell, the informant didn't care there were two of them. If it had been Izaya to know the truth first... His thumb smoothed over the surface of the ring. He couldn't part with it. "You mean Shizuo. Is his injury okay?"

"Probably."

The teen stiffened pulling away. Izaya's eyes were clouded with concern, his mouth set in a thin line.

"You haven't seen him?" Mikado asked in disbelief. There was no way Izaya would have left him alone.

"I've seen him." The older raven sighed. "I've seen the mess in the bathroom too. I stopped him leaving until we've taken down Shiki. He's confined himself to the bathroom. Typical protozoan."

"Then his injury?" Mikado pressed.

"The dressing is new. Shizu-chan must be in pain though." Izaya sighed his face looking pained. "Especially since he took too many painkillers."

"This is-"

"Shizu-chan always was his worst enemy." Izaya interrupted.

Mikado nodded. Shizuo was probably punishing himself for what he'd done to Kanra. Part of him felt bad about it. The small part under the avalanche of betrayal.

"Firstly you have to convince me." Izaya sighed standing again.

"What?"

"I'll let you out once you prove you aren't going to run off to Shiki." Kanra scoffed. "You won't try and kill Shizu-chan like you tried me."

Mikado stiffened eyes wide. "I wouldn't!"

Izaya merely gave him a look. He had pushed Izaya from the roof top. Just like he had stabbed Shizuo. Both could have been fatal. The first would have been premeditated murder. The second would have been manslaughter. Either way his soul had become rotten, shrouded in a darkness that clung to him.

Ikebukuro was its breeding ground. Hugging himself tightly the teen began to shake uncontrollably at the realisation. He was the monster. If he fell into Shiki's hands he knew he would sink deeper into the abyss. One that not even Kanra could pull him out of.

"Izaya-nii." Came a quiet whisper from his lips. "Help us."

"Of course. Shiki isn't touching what's mine."

Mikado smiled emptily failing to relinquish his hold.

x-x-x

Shizuo cursed grabbing a wad on tissue to staunch the bleeding. The waistband of his sweat pants had soaked up most of the blood. It wasn't bad. At least he didn't think it was bad. It didn't hurt any more. That could have something do with the amount he had taken.

A knock at the door made his head snap up. Izaya. Again. "Damn flea needs to see Shinra about his bladder." Shizuo cursed deciding to ignore the intrusion. His stitches had come undone again. Most likely the repercussion of having to do it himself after Izaya had torn Shinra's out.

"Shizu-chan. Open up." Izaya continued to pound on the door.

"Use a bottle or something." Shizuo snapped. "I'm busy."

"Doing what?" Came the response.

"What the fuck do you care? Piss off." Shizuo took a deep breath reaching for the lighter.

"Open this door! Now protozoan."

"I'm busy." Shizuo stroked the flint staring anxiously at the small flame. It would hurt. It would hurt more than the injury itself.

"Tough. You shouldn't have chosen the most inconvenient place to hide in."

Shizuo growled groaning as he felt liquid trickling over his knuckles. The lighter was a useless misshapen piece of metal. Grabbing a towel to cover himself, the blonde stormed over to the door ready to rip the thing from its hinges. Had he not remembered what it was there for.

Instead Shizuo controlled his breathing, calmly flicking the lock to one side. Grabbing the handle he opened it part way poking his head out. "What?" He grunted gruffly.

"I need to use the bathroom." Izaya said without a hint of desperation. The flea wasn't one to cross his legs and bounce up and down on the spot but still...

"Fine." Shizuo opened the door fully knowing Izaya wanted an altercation. The raven was always pushing his buttons and this was no different. Planting his body in front of the door he waited for Izaya to step aside. On the other side Izaya did the same.

They stared each other down. He could see Izaya's eyes flicking over him. "You're bleeding." Shizuo shrugged. It was dangerous having the flea so close. For a start he might end up with another bloody hole in his gut. "Have your stitches opened?"

"You mean the ones you ripped out?" Shizuo growled clinging to his anger. "For someone that can't throw a punch to save their life, you sure do have a violent streak."

"Maybe if a certain protozoan would do as he's told for once I wouldn't have to use such underhanded methods." Izaya retorted with a glower. "Let me see."

"Piss off." Shizuo hid a grimace seeing a few red blotches seeping through the towel.

"Shizu-chan." Izaya took a step forward. Shizuo stepped to the side making sure he was nowhere near those pain inflicting hands or that he could be pushed inside. "This is stupid. You're hurt."

Shizuo clenched his teeth. "What part of we have nothing to do with each other so you not understand?"

Izaya tossed him a lazy smirk poking him in the chest with a finger. Shizuo glared at it. "It's you that doesn't understand, Shizu-chan. You will eventually. If you'll excuse me I have to use the toilet. Or would you prefer to stay and watch? I know how much you love my dick."

"Go fuck yourself." Shizuo flushed slamming the door. With a sigh he slowly made his way to the kitchen. It was a pain in the ass going back and forth all the time.

The kitchen was occupied. Mikado stood at the counter making himself a drink. The blue eyed raven tensed. Great. One of them he could handle. Both of them would be difficult. Taking a step back, Shizuo left the kitchen. He didn't want to upset the kid. The good news was that the bedroom was now free and that was where he took sanctuary locking the door behind him. Now he wouldn't be called out all the time.

x-x-x

Mikado felt Shizuo behind him. It was impossible to miss the fortissimo's presence. He thought about saying something but wasn't sure what. His mouth refused to move. Izaya had told him his husband had locked himself away in the bathroom.

Kanra stirred in his mind not sure what to say either. No one said anything. Mikado slowly turned around already knowing Shizuo had gone without a word. Turning back, Mikado finished making his coffee and sandwich. Izaya had offered but Mikado simply didn't trust him. Things had changed. Emotions were jumbled and the trust had broken.

All three of them would fend for themselves. With a sigh the teen tossed the spoon in the sink carrying the mug in one hand and the plate in the other. "We've made the right choice." Kanra whispered.

Mikado nodded settling on the sofa. The bedroom door was closed. He had left it open. The bathroom door opened and out stepped Izaya. Mikado felt his heart quicken. Everything was so messed up.

"You want him to touch you." Kanra whispered.

"I-we can't trust him." Mikado murmured.

"Ah, there you are." Izaya smiled joining him. The informant didn't sit down. "Shizu-chan in the kitchen?"

"No." Mikado glared at the raven swiping half his sandwich.

"Locked in the bedroom then. At least he can rest properly now." Izaya took a bite sitting cross legged on the sofa. "Masaomi-kun." Mikado froze. Izaya took his coffee taking a sip. "Could be stronger. Your old friend woke up."

"He's not my friend." Mikado scowled snatching his coffee back. A few drops splashed over the edge onto his lap.

"He's not your enemy either. Not any more."

"Why?" Kanra asked suspiciously. "How much damage did we do?"

"Enough to put him in a coma but not enough to do any lasting damage. Masaomi-kun has given up. I imagine once he's recovered he'll leave Ikebukuro and you alone for good."

"Oh. It really is just Shiki then."

"Yeah. After that it's all over."

Mikado closed his eyes. If they could take down Shiki. Shizuo would leave and he would have to decide if that was what he really wanted.

x-x-x

The lock on the bedroom door was broken. Izaya had been the one to sabotage it. He had expected the blonde to take refuge in the bedroom. It meant the brute had comfort and proper medical supplies except for medication. Izaya had taken those locking them in the study.

He had spent the rest of the day with Mikado, the teen who had hated him with such ferocity. Things seemed to have calmed down now but with Kanra in the mix, it was hard to gauge the teen's emotions. What he did know was that the younger raven still wanted him. It was the way their skin kept touching for mere seconds. Mikado shivered blushing as he had always done. The damage wasn't irreparable.

Now that it was late at night, his efforts turned towards the blonde fast asleep on the bed. The only pills Izaya had left were sleeping pills. He had left two in box just in case the blonde felt tempted to take more than the recommended dosage.

Slamming the door back harshly, Izaya waited for the blonde to shoot up from the bed growling like an animal. When that didn't happen he knew for certain the pills had been taken.

Izaya sighed flicking the light switch. The medical kit was wide open spread across the floor. Watching where he stepped Izaya made his way over to the bed picking up the supplies as he went.

Standing over the bed, Izaya placed a hand on the blonde's forehead checking his temperature. Surprisingly it was normal. It wasn't decided if that was a good thing or not. He would have to confer with Shinra, loathe as he was to do so.

"What am I going to do with you?" Izaya asked the slumbering protozoan. Shizuo was wearing a pair of sweatpants hanging on his hips and a dark Jersey. Izaya gently lifted the jersey shaking his head at the haphazard bandages wrapped around the blonde's torso.

"Izaya-nii?" Kanra stepped into the room. "What are you doing?"

Izaya crooked a finger forward. "Help me sit him up."

The teen rushed forward to the other side of the bed. Together they pulled the jersey off. Mikado hissed seeing the blood sporting the bandage.

"Should we call Shinra?"

"No."

"But we're not doctors."

"I said no. Shizu-chan is our problem. We don't need to involve anyone else." Izaya grumbled tossing the jersey to the floor. His fingertips gently traced the scars of his name. Shizuo hadn't let them heal just like he had known.

"We tried to get him to stop scratching. Short of tearing off his fingernails there was nothing we could do." Mikado snapped his hand forward lifting the blonde's hand. "He's not wearing his ring."

"Oh." Izaya pulled the ring from his pocket tossing it to the teen. "Found it on the sink. Shizu-chan probably took it off to deal with his injury."

"Right." Mikado nodded squeezing the ring in his fist.

x-x-x

Mikado squeezed the ring. The symbol of his bond with Shizuo. His husband. The man who had betrayed him. He didn't like the thought of it being removed. Izaya wasn't looking at him. The informant was focused on Shizuo. The bandages had been pulled away, the dressing gently lifted. Mikado gasped at the wound beneath. There was a hole that seemed to have grown bigger. The edges were red and angry, surgical thread loosely holding the edges of the wound together.

"I thought as much." Izaya sighed bending to the floor. He lifted a paid of scissors and a small reel of thread before bending once again to pick up some latex gloves. "It's as if he didn't care."

Mikado nodded looking away from the wound. He had caused it. The gun should never have been in his hand. He heard each of the packages torn open, the snap of gloves and squelching. For a moment he looked seeing the gloves coated red. Blanching he turned completely not yet wanting to leave the room.

"Mikado. Go and get a damp cloth."

Mikado slipped from the bed doing as he was told. On the floor were small pieces of cotton wool covered in blood and a pair of ripped gloves. Izaya had on a second pair delicately holding a needle and thread.

Mikado gulped seeing Izaya's hands shaking. They should've called Shinra. He didn't understand Izaya's sudden need to be alone just the three of them.

"Yes you do." Kanra whispered. "You were the same."

"That was different. Shizuo wasn't hurt."

"Mikado." Izaya looked up. Mikado handed the clothes over. The first was folded in half placed across the blonde's forehead. The second was used to clean the area of the wound. "I need you to hold the skin together."

Mikado grabbed a pair of gloves climbing onto the bed. Gently he placed his hands either side. Izaya nodded his hands becoming sturdy as he made the first stitch. Mikado chose to watch Izaya rather than the wound being stitched.

The informant looked nervous, eyes narrowed on the task at hand. His mouth was set in a thin line, a bead of sweat rolling down his hairline. "You love him." Mikado murmured.

"Yeah." Izaya answered concentrating too hard to make a joke or sugar coat his words.

"D-do you love me?" Mikado whispered.

"Yeah. Keep your fingers still."

"What about me? His counterpart threw in.

"Yes, you too Kanra."

Kanra smiled. Mikado sighed once again being told about his fingers. At last he was allowed to let go. Another package was torn open.

Looking down again he watched a small square pad gently being eased over the stitched wound. Izaya was lovingly tending to the fortissimo. Mikado found himself squeezing the ring.

"Help me sit him up." Izaya instructed. Mikado nodded slipping an arm underneath Shizuo's shoulder blades. His forearm brushed against Izaya who slid his arm in the other way.

Together they gently eased Shizuo up, the teen propping him up whilst Izaya tore open another package and began wrapping bandages around the blonde's midsection. The wet cloth flopped down, Mikado noticed the wetness across Shizuo's forehead wasn't because of the cloth. With a small gasp he pressed the back of his hand to the overly warm wetness.

"Izaya."

"I expected as much." The informant grumbled shaking his head. Izaya finished wrapping the bandages tucking the last piece in nearly. "Watch over him. I'll see if there's anything we can use."

Mikado watched Izaya leave the room steps hurried. Opening his palm he stared down at the ring. His own glittered. It felt wrong.

"What do you want to do?" Kanra asked quietly.

Mikado closed his fist. "I don't know. Shizuo tried to get rid of you. Before that he-"

"What do you want to do right now?" Kanra interrupted. "What's bothering you? How can you fix it?"

With a sigh his hand opened. Reaching over he grabbed Shizuo's hand slipping the ring onto his finger.

x-x-x

Izaya rummaged through the medication he had confiscated. Reading each label he tossed them to one side wondering why Shinra had packed in anti-sickness tablets and laxatives. He threw them a little harder than necessary.

The protozoan was in no fit state to do anything until his fever broke. "Typical Shizu-chan." He might as well have overdosed on sleeping pills. He was useless in his current state but at least he couldn't leave. Izaya breathed a small sigh knowing it was his fault since he had been the one to rip out the stitches in the first place. Snatching up the painkillers and more sleeping pills Izaya returned to the bedroom.

Mikado hadn't moved from his ordered vigil. That fact gave him hope that things weren't hopeless. He himself had no intention of leaving either one again. Things would be awkward if the two of them didn't want to be together.

Izaya was glad to see the ring was back on the blonde's finger. Mikado still saw ownership. It was a start. Izaya checked over his work, making sure the cloth was still damp. Mikado watched him warily twitching each time he made a movement. Izaya tossed him a small smile moving to the other side of the bed. The teen froze.

"Move over. We should get some sleep."

The teen flushed a deep red. "I- I'll sleep on the sofa."

Izaya caught him around the waist before he scrambled from the bed. "Stay. Please." He added seeing the teen's indecision. "I need to know you're safe." That both of them were safe.

Mikado was tense against him but lay against his chest turned away from the feverish blonde. Izaya circled his arms feeling Mikado jump at the touch. Humming softly Izaya played with the teen's hair. His fingertips danced in small patterns slowly skimming the teen's hairline. Gently he changed to a series of small smoothing sweeps brushing against his forehead.

Mikado's eyes were clenched tightly shut, his breathing laboured. Izaya felt the shudder when he stroked the teen's cheek. A sharp intake of breath and he thought mikado would bolt for the door.

"Izaya."

"Hm?" Izaya murmured keeping his touches light. His fingertips gently circled a soft jaw.

"Don't."

"Hm?" Izaya paused waiting for the teen to elaborate.

"Please. Don't touch me. N-not like that."

Izaya nodded carefully shuffling into the middle of the bed closer to the blonde. Mikado rolled off of him staying at the edge of the bed with his back turned to both of them. Izaya lay flat on his back listening to the pair's breathing. He didn't get any sleep that night. Mikado lay on his left and Shizuo on his right. Neither one wanted anything to do with him. It was suffocating. Closing his eyes he vowed to fix things.


	33. Best laid plans

**Best laid plans**

Shizuo woke up with the mother of all headaches. His skull throbbed. His side hurt and his throat felt like a desert. Licking his lips the blonde coughed scratching at his throat.

"Don't do that." A voice chided next to him. The owner of the voice brought something cold to his lips. Water. Taking the bottle in his hand he gulped down the cool liquid greedily.

"...more." He croaked tossing the empty bottle away. He didn't see where it went and he didn't particularly care.

More was what he got. Another bottle touching his lips. Shizuo absorbed the contents trying for a third. "That's enough, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo growled at his pet name. There was only one that called him that. "...Izaya."

"I'm here." His ex spoke softly smoothing his brow.

"I told you-"

"I don't care. You can do what you want and I'll do the same." Izaya told him. Shizuo had a feeling he was smiling. Too bad his damn eyes didn't want to open.

"What do you want?" The blonde growled.

"You. In our bed. I want what we had before."

"Not happening." Shizuo scowled turning his head. "What happened?"

"You're feverish."

Shizuo grunted. No wonder he felt like his body was burning up.

"I restitched your wound."

"Your fault in the first place." Shizuo groaned rolling slowly onto his side. It hurt like a bitch but it was the only way Izaya would get the message. He wasn't welcome in his life.

"How are you feeling?"

Shizuo snorted. He felt like he'd been shot and someone had decided to fist the hole.

"We need you better."

Doubtful. They needed his strength. His bull in a china shop reaction. No one else would sanely go against a man that worked for the yakuza and handed out guns to teenagers.

"Shizu-chan, I forgive you." Izaya whispered. "Can't you forgive yourself?"

Shizuo decided he was hallucinating and pretended it was all a fucked up dream. That's how it was with what you wished most. Nothing was ever that easy. They wouldn't forgive him. But they would be happy. Izaya and Mikado would have each other.

x-x-x

"How is he?" Mikado asked feigning interest. Izaya would tell him anyway.

"Still feverish. He woke up for a bit."

"And?" Kanra leaned forward. "What did he say?"

Izaya sighed. "Same as he has been."

"Maybe we should call Kasuka." Mikado suggested.

"No."

"But-"

"I said no. No one else gets involved. This is between us. I don't want anyone else playing influence."

"Because Kasuka hates you?" Kanra asked.

"Partly."

"Celty doesn't think much of you either." Kanra continued with the harsh truth. "After what you did I don't think anyone would persuade Shizuo to get back with you." She laughed.

"Then it's a good thing they're not here."

Mikado smothered a yawn. "Yeah. What a shame."

Izaya shook his head. Mikado clenched his fists certain that the informant was disappointed in him. "I suppose I should be thankful you don't want to kill him."

"I could have been married to you." Mikado smiled stroking the ring.

"Nah. I'm not the married type. I best serve the temptation role. Don't you agree?" Izaya said smoothly offering him a wink. Kanra laughed.

"We won't know."

"Exactly. What's done is done." Izaya stepped closer to the desk he was sitting behind. His breath hitched looking directly into the informant's eyes. "You're married to the protozoan so it's your decision that counts."

"We know that." Kanra snapped.

"But it doesn't change the fact-" Mikado cut himself off hearing the door.

Izaya scowled. "Has Shiki ever come to this apartment?"

"No."

"I'll get it." A grumpy tired voice echoed.

Mikado got up from the desk following Izaya out of the study neither of them expected the blonde to be awake. Shizuo opened the door turning paler than he already was. "Celty." A blast of inky shadow shot into the apartment knocking Shizuo flying into the wall.

"Hey!" Izaya ran over to the slumped blonde. He didn't get there in time. Shizuo slid up the wall circled by thin sharp wisps.

"Suppose I deserve that."

Mikado watched Izaya flinch back, the dullahan turning to face him. He was sure at one point she settled on him too before returning to the feverish fortissimo.

Her fingers danced across the device shoved in front of the blonde. Neither he nor Izaya could see it.

"I know." Shizuo grumbled.

More typing followed.

"I know."

Celty continued shoving message after message forward.

"I'm sorry."

More typing.

"That's not-" The point of the shadow sliced his cheek. "I can't."

"Enough." Izaya grabbed the dullahan's arm. "Shizu-chan needs to recover." He was ignored. Celty was in mid rant and Shizuo looking ashamed only had eyes for her.

"I know." Shizuo said pained reading the latest message. "I'm sorry." His head slumped, the fever taking him again. Celty poked his cheek shaking him a little. She shook him harder before Izaya slapped her hand away.

"His wound opened." The informant explained. "He was recovering from a fever."

Celty had the decency to look guilty. At least that's what it looked like. Her head lowered, the bindings holding the unconscious blonde flopped away. Izaya took Shizuo's weight.

"Aren't you going to help?" Kanra whispered. "He might seriously be hurt."

Mikado retreated back into the study. Izaya was the only one that noticed him, acknowledging his decision with a shake of his head. Closing the door he tried not to let Izaya's disappointment gnaw at him.

x-x-x

Everything was his fault. Shinra had said as much, bustling in with his medical bag. He had looked disapprovingly at the unconscious blonde.

Celty hadn't done anything wrong. Why was he accusing his beloved. Blah blah blah. Shinra was blind to the dullahan's faults.

His own mistakes hadn't helped. "This isn't my work." Shinra noted examining the stitches.

"Why? Too perfect?" Izaya teased. He didn't like how pale the protozoan was. His bangs were plastered to his forehead. The blonde was sick. Hospital sick by the way Shinra was tutting and shaking his head at the results.

"Amateur at best. You should have called me instead of playing doctor."

"What so you can turn Shizu-chan against me?" Izaya stood close to the blonde's head. "It's a delicate situation. One that doesn't need your bias."

"Well I hope it was worth it. Shizuo needs to be taken to a hospital."

"No." Izaya growled surprising himself. "It's not safe."

"He needs proper medical care. The fever-"

"Was getting better if not for your girlfriend throwing a fit."

Shinra sniffed at the accusation pausing to lovingly pat the dullahan's arm. "It doesn't matter how it happened. Shizuo needs a doctor."

"Which you are. I say he stays."

"You're not thinking straight, Izaya."

"I'm thinking perfectly logically. Shizu-chan stays here."

Celty typed something but he ignored it. "I won't have either of them out of my sight."

"Then take the other one with you."

"I can't." Izaya snapped. "Outside this apartment he'll be watched. Shiki will be waiting for an opportunity to snatch him away."

"Then leave him here."

"Did you just hear me? No. I'm not separating us. I won't abandon them."

"You abandoned them both. What's so hard about picking one this time?"

Izaya closed his eyes holding himself up by the bed frame. "I won't. Never again."

Shinra blew out a deep breath. "Tough. This isn't your choice. You're an outsider, Izaya. Did you think you could skip back into their lives and everything would be fine?"

"Shut up." Izaya turned away.

"The decision goes to his husband." Mikado. The teen wanted the blonde gone. "Celty my beloved-"

"No!"

"Shizuo is-"

"Getting pissed off with people talking about him when I'm right here." A harsh growl rose from the bed. "So noisy."

"Shizu-chan." Izaya moved to support the blonde shooting a glare at the intrusions.

"Shizuo, you shouldn't be awake." Shinra reached for him.

"Shinra, I don't need to go to the damn hospital. Providing someone doesn't tear out the stitches again, I'll be fine." Izaya scowled when the protozoan looked accusingly at him and not the one who had thrown him into a wall.

"Shizuo, I strongly suggest-"

"You of all people know this isn't enough to take me down." Another pointed look came his way. "I've been through a lot worse."

Izaya craned his head trying to read the message Celty held out. "I know. Sorry I got you involved. I won't do anything stupid."

Whatever conversation went on between them, Izaya doubted the blonde's promise. "Are you done now?"

Shinra looked like he wanted to protest more but wisely kept his mouth shut on the subject. "It's not my fault you want to ignore my advice. Let's go, my beloved."

He watched them leave the room and hopefully the apartment. Concern creased his brows, running his fingers gently through the blonde's damp hair.

"Flea?"

"Mm?"

"Don't touch me."

Izaya flashed a smile at the brute. "I'll do what I want, Shizu-chan."

"I'll break your fingers." An empty tired threat. They both knew it. Izaya humoured him with a chuckle.

"Get some sleep."

The blonde closed his eyes and within seconds was out like a light. Izaya remained where he was watching over him.

x-x-x

Outside the door Mikado leaned against the wall. He had heard everything, felt Izaya's anger and his refusal to abandon either of them again. Tears filled his eyes threatening to fall.

"What now?" Kanra asked quietly.

Mikado sighed fingers on the door frame. Izaya looked back at him placing a finger on his lips. Stepping further in, his heart tugged watching Izaya trail his fingers over the blonde's hair.

Shizuo was asleep once again, freshly bandaged. It looked like Shinra hadn't needed to re-stitch the wound. Izaya held out his other hand, which he took holding tight.

The raven smiled pulling him gently into his lap. Mikado said nothing careful not to wake Shizuo. Izaya's arm was around his waist keeping him in place.

"We can't take Shiki on like this." Izaya whispered against his throat. Mikado shivered. "Shizu-chan is hurt."

"I can take care of myself, flea." Shizuo growled opening his eyes. When their eyes met he looked away. Mikado looked down at his lap.

"I thought you were sleeping?" Izaya grumbled.

"Like I can do that with you stroking my hair!" Shizuo snapped slapping Izaya's hand away. "You keep forgetting I'm different."

"You're not immortal, Shizu-chan. You can die from a gunshot wound or being stabbed."

"I know my limits, flea."

"Then stay down and rest."

"Piss off and leave me alone." Shizuo growled.

"No." Izaya was adamant standing his ground. Mikado watched them argue back and fourth.

Shizuo rose on his elbows as if that would give him more of a presence. Izaya leaned in closer squaring up to him. The two greatest forces in Ikebukuro glared at one another.

Kanra sighed shoving Izaya's head into Shizuo's and jumping off the informant's lap. Mikado stated as their lips touched. Neither one of them shrank away. Izaya took full advantage using it to get closer. His hand cupped the back of Shizuo's head.

The blonde's eyes were wide staring forward. Slowly his eyelids slipped shut, hand falling limply to the side. His lips melded against Izaya's.

Mikado turned to leave the room giving the pair some privacy. At the movement Shizuo's eyes snapped open staring at him. Pain swirled in their depths, Shizuo pushing Izaya away. Wiping his mouth with his arm he glared at the raven.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Shizuo snapped.

"Shizu-chan-"

"Get out."

Mikado shook his head. It had looked like the duo had made up, giving into the tension between them. What had gone wrong?

"It's you." Kanra whispered. "Shizuo thinks this is what's going to appease you."

"That's not true." Mikado left the bedroom hearing the argument go back into full swing.

"You know it is. Stop and think." Kanra told him retreating back into his mind.

Mikado locked himself in the study doing just that. Sitting in the chair he closed his eyes shutting out all his negative emotions. It wasn't easy and they weren't all gone. But it would do.

Shizuo had guessed what would happen with him and Kanra. To stop it he had manipulated Izaya into sending him away.

Mikado grit his teeth, stomach churning at the thought. That incident had made things worse. All his misunderstood hatred had been pointed at Izaya.

But Izaya didn't hate him. Shizuo he wasn't so sure about. Since his return the blonde had pushed him away forcing him back to Izaya.

Mikado jolted as a thought passed through his mind. Jumping from the chair he ran from the room, back into the bedroom. Izaya looked up subtly moving closer to the blonde. Shizuo didn't look bothered, looking away from him.

"Mikado-kun?" Izaya asked patiently.

Mikado's fingers clutched the door frame. "Did you let me shoot you?"

Izaya's eyes narrowed. "Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo wouldn't face him. His head was turned away. Mikado staggered at the unspoken answer. He had wanted to get married. So they had got married. Everything he had wanted the blonde had done.

"You did." Mikado lowered his head. Shizuo had thought he wanted him dead. Anything he said would be granted. Mikado shuddered. If he told the blonde to leave he would. He was the one that held control over the fortissimo's life. Shaking his head he took a step back. "Do as Izaya says and get some rest."

Shizuo gave a small nod still not looking at him. Izaya looked between them realising what was going on.

"You didn't make him leave." Kanra noted.

"No." Mikado sighed flopping face down on the sofa. "I have to forgive him now. He's offered up his life."

"Yeah. Be careful what you say." Kanra advised.

"Mikado?" Izaya stood over him. "Shizu-chan is resting. Are you okay?"

Raising his head he looked to the informant. Sitting on the edge. "If I told him to jump in front of a truck, would he?"

Izaya shrugged. "Probably."

Mikado nodded. "What do you want me to tell him?"

"That its okay to forgive himself. That its okay for us to be together again. The three of us."

"You knew?" Mikado accused.

"I guessed. The only one Shizu-chan will listen to is you."

"What about Shiki? What do you think we should do?"

Izaya didn't look at him for a moment. "I think we should leave Ikebukuo." Mikado felt a wave of deja vu wash over him. "All three of us should meet up with Kasuka or go somewhere else until Shizu-chan recovers and we find stable ground between us."

"Leave? You said that last time. It was going to be me and you." Mikado say up slowly urging Kanra for help.

"That was then." Izaya spoke softly. "This is now. We can take a train or a taxi. Whatever helps Shizu-chan travel better."

Mikado stood up quickly stumbling. "I-I'll think about it." Making a quick retreat to the bedroom he closed the door sliding to the floor. On the bed Shizuo was asleep. Izaya didn't come after him. "What do you think?"

"Do you trust him?" Kanra asked leaving him alone to his thoughts.

Mikado remembered being pushed onto the train. The doors closing and Izaya still standing on the platform. He could do it again. Mikado knew he would be leaving Ikebukuro no matter what. The question was whether Shizuo and Izaya would be with him.

It wasn't just his life. Trusting Izaya would mean risking himself, Kanra and Shizuo. The conversation with Shinra popped up in his head. Izaya had sworn he wouldn't abandon them. The informant had been adamant they would be together no matter what.

Pushing himself up, Mikado walked to the bed staring down at the sleeping blonde. "Shizuo." He called gently shaking Shizuo's shoulder.

"Hm?" The fortissimo woke almost immediately. Mikado regretted waking him instantly, seeing the pain in his eyes.

"I want to ask you something." He tried not to be put out when Shizuo looked away from him.

"...Can't you ask the flea?"

"No. It's about him."

"...Ah. Go on then."

Mikado nodded feeling a little hope blossom within his heart. "Izaya wants us to leave Ikebukuro. He says we're not strong enough."

"So?"

"Do you trust him?"

Shizuo looked at him nodding once. "Yeah. Is that what you wanted to know?"

Mikado shook his head. "No. Can I trust him?"

"It's up to you." Shizuo sighed closing his eyes. "But yeah. The flea will do anything for you."

"...Like you would for me?"

"...yeah."

"I thought you hated me." Mikado clenched his fists.

"You? Never." Shizuo murmured.

Mikado nodded swallowing past the lump in his throat. "It-it's okay to forgive yourself. If you want to be with Izaya you can. Izaya refuses to leave either of us alone so it's the three of us again."

Shizuo didn't open his eyes or acknowledge his words. With a heavy sigh Mikado left the room in search of Izaya. The older raven was sitting on the sofa looking at him expectantly.

"Let's leave Ikebukuro."


	34. The final trial

**The final trial**

Their journey had begun with the baptism of fire and it ended under the hail of bullets. A scene of carnage awaited after the noise had died down. Down the hall the door was hanging from its hinges. The plaster walls had been peppered with holes. The floor stained a thick crimson, pooling from the two unmoving bodies on the floor.

The first was a blonde man in late twenties. His white shirt was soaked mainly at the side. His eyes were open and unseeing, a piece of misshapen skin on his forehead indicating the execution style wound on his forehead.

The second was a raven man in his late twenties. The blood was harder to see underneath the black clothes. Overly dark patches clung to the body. His eyes were open staring out at perhaps the only religious belief he'd had. Blood trickled from his mouth.

Mikado was on his knees between them tears streaming down his cheeks. With a trembling hand he brushed their eyelids down giving them the appearance of sleep. A hand clamped down on his shoulder. Not in comfort. Behind him stood the cause for the carnage. The yakuza's suit was as crisp white as ever. Mikado was lifted forced to stand on his own two shaky feet.

**One day earlier**

Shizuo looked like he was recovering quickly. To Izaya's relief the blonde didn't push him away or slap his hand away when he touched him. He'd even managed to get away with a sneaky kiss here and there.

Mikado didn't seem to mind taking it in turns to watch over the feverish protozoan. It didn't look like he had to worry about suddenly killing them. Hopefully the teen's hatred had dissolved. It was the only way the three of them could be together.

For now Izaya stood back watching the pair reforge their bond. There wouldn't be a need for himself and the protozoan to fix theirs. It had never broken. His old lover had become very predictable. Humming softly he picked up one of the open empty rucksack they would take with them. There would be vending machines in the station for snacks. This time he was leaving Ikebukuro too. His life as an informant was truly over, the future was unknown if not a little scary, sent a thrilling chill of excitement down his spine.

"Izaya, it's your turn." Kanra smiled taking the bag.

"Right. The list of what we need is on the table." Leaving the bag with Mikado, Izaya stepped into the bedroom seeing the blonde sitting up with a bowl of fruit in hand. "Feeling any better, Shizu-chan?"

"Yeah. When are we going?"

"I haven't decided yet." Izaya shrugged taking a seat on the bed. Not the edge like he had been but right next to the blonde. "Maybe when the station first opens or during rush hour. We have to assume our every step is being watched."

"Just make sure you and the kid get out."

"You too, Shizu-chan." Izaya sighed snatching a grape from the bowl. "I don't know how many times more I have to say I'm not leaving either of you."

"You know it doesn't work that way. I'm not important to Shiki. I can take a cab and meet you there."

"No. We go together. I can't have you running away from me."

"It's risky."

"You're worth the risk. It's all or nothing, Shizu-chan."

"Then make sure it's not nothing." Shizuo sighed. Izaya nodded leaning over to place the grape at the blonde's lips.

"I'm not losing either of you." Izaya promised following the small ball of fruit with his tongue. Shizuo didn't bite down so he took that as an okay to continue. "I missed this. I missed you."

"Wasn't exactly a walk in the park for me, flea."

Izaya nodded moving in for another kiss.

x-x-x

"Aren't you going in there?" Kanra asked.

Mikado shook his head.

"I'm sure they'd welcome you."

"I'm not ready yet."

Kanra smiled sadly. "You don't trust them yet?"

"Do you think this plan will work?"

"It has to." Mikado clenched his fist. "If it doesn't we're all in trouble."

"Mikado." Izaya took the bag from him. His cheek was red. "I got kicked out."

Kanra laughed."You're pushing too hard."

"I didn't do that much."

Kanra being Kanra sidled up to the raven placing her hands against his chest. "Why don't you show me and I'll be the judge of that?"

"And how does Mikado feel about that?" Izaya grinned lifting her chin.

Mikado sighed. "Kanra can do as she likes."

For a moment he thinks Izaya is going to kiss them. Instead he shakes his head and ruffles his hair. "When you're ready." The informant smiles.

Mikado nods clenching his fists so they don't find purchase in Izaya's top. He doesn't hate him any more. Not now the misunderstanding has been cleared up. Kanra is more than eager to jump into their old relationship but something is holding him back.

x-x-x

Shizuo sits on the bed watching through the gap in the door. He still has a slight fever but nothing he can't work past. The flea wants him confined to bed and as for Mikado...the teen hasn't been in to see him since they last spoke.

They're leaving Ikebukuro. All three of them. Their destination is Kasuka. He owes it to his little brother to go. Shizuo doesn't know how he's going to explain Izaya yet. Everything in their plan is a work in progress. It's rushed and so many things can go wrong.

This is their last chance for happiness before Shiki moves in to take the kid away. It has to go right or they'll lose everything. His hand tingles where his splayed palm had slapped Izaya. He hates hurting people and Izaya is no different. All he's done is hurt those he cares about.

Celty's pain was justified. Shizuo didn't begrudge her for it. She was his best friend and all he had done was cause her pain by dragging her into his schemes. Too late now he was realising just how out of hand things had become. A little worry had snowballed into an avalanche destroying their bonds.

Izaya had picked himself up, bouncing back like it had never happened. Mikado was on speaking terms with both of them but wary. He had a right to be.

"Shizuo?" Mikado opened the door to check on him. "Are the painkillers wearing off?"

Shizuo shrugged. His side was numb. Pain rarely affected him except for the one in his heart.

"Should I get Izaya?"

"No. I was just thinking." Shizuo shook himself pasting a small smile on his face. "Is the packing done?"

"Izaya has taken over."

"At least nothing will be missed." Izaya was probably going through a checklist.

"I suppose." Those bright blue eyes were staring at him. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Fine. A bit hungry." Shizuo climbed out of the bed. It would be pointless to ask the teen if he wanted anything. It was just another indicator of their broken trust.

"Oh. I can make it for you."

"You don't have to." Shizuo looked down at the hand around his wrist.

"I want to."

x-x-x

The plan was risky. So much could go wrong. He had seen Shiki at his worse. Who knew what the yakuza was capable of now. He kept those that were useful and discarded those that weren't. Mikado had been deemed useful. He was still young and impressionable.

Shiki had thought Shizu-chan was cool. Whether that still applied now he didn't know. He himself was obsolete. The only one safe was Mikado but then the teen would be in the yakuza's employ. Shiki wouldn't make the same mistake. He had been given the necessary funds and the beginning of his care as an informant.

But he had done so many things that would make Shiki angry if he knew. He had his own way of doing things, his own goals, his own mind. Izaya refused to be manipulated by anyone. He refused to lose anyone.

With the packing done, Izaya took a seat on the sofa. Mikado walked past him carrying a bowl. Izaya watched a curl of steam rise. Seeing where the teen was taking it, he smiled. It was a good sign.

x-x-x

Mikado flushed watching Shizuo eat what he'd made. Without question or suspicion the blonde had taken the bowl with thanks and started eating. Shizuo trusted him. It meant more than he could say, so he stayed silent sitting on the edge of the bed. Kanra smiled inside him happy with the result. Slowly but surely they were moving forward.

"What? You want some?" The blonde asked through a mouthful.

Mikado shook his head. "I'm thinking. Are you worried this won't go right?"

"I'm more concerned about explaining this and Izaya to Kasuka." Shizuo had gone marginally pale holding up his hand. The wedding band glinted. He hadn't taken it off. Mikado looked down at his own one.

"Oh. You don't have to tell him about this." Mikado suggested lowering his head. "You could take the ring off and pretend nothing happened."

"No. It is what it is." Shizuo murmured continuing his meal. "If you want we could get a divorce after the six month mark has passed."

"I-"

"The packing is done." Izaya grinned. "Mm, that looks good. Let me taste, Shizu-chan."

"Get your own,flea. Oi!" Izaya stole the utensil from Shizuo's hand. Mikado watched the raven eat. "I said get your own!"

"Mikado only made enough for you." Izaya sulked. "That's not fair."

"Um, there's plenty left in the pot."

"Great. Then that's where I'll be."

"I'll get it." Mikado leapt to his feet, quickly exiting the room.

x-x-x

Shizuo sighed as the bowl was taken from him. Izaya was a sly flea. Mikado had left them alone avoiding his suggestion about their future. It would be too awkward now to bring it up again. Shizuo hated awkwardness and complications.

"Looks like it's just us, Shizu-chan." Izaya grinned setting the bowl on the small table opposite his side of the bed. To make sure he couldn't reach, the flea took the other side of the bed.

"Looks like." Shizuo growled crossing his arms. He wasn't happy he hadn't heard the answer from Mikado. Nor that his food would go cold. "Not going to try and jump me again?"

"Do you want me to?" Izaya winked. "Mikado doesn't want me to kiss him."

"So you want a substitute?"

"Shizu-chan, you have never been a substitute." Izaya snapped getting in his face. "Never."

"Right."

"You don't believe me?"

"It doesn't matter what I believe, flea." Shizuo sighed."Are we ready to go?"

"Tomorrow morning. We'll take a cab to the station. If it looks like we're being followed, I booked a hotel suite where we can detour. If not we'll go straight ahead."

"I'll leave it to you to keep him safe."

Izaya sighed. "Shizu-chan, don't deviate from the plan. If something does go wrong- no heroics."

"You sound like Celty." Shizuo grumbled.

"She's right. Of course you'd probably recover quicker without being thrown into a wall." Izaya snapped bitterly.

"She didn't hurt me."

x-x-x

So thick headed. Izaya struggled to keep his calm. Trying to get through the protozoan was like a thick stone wall. His old lover was stubborn to a fault. Every time it looked like they were getting somewhere, the blonde would clam up and he would be back at the start.

Dealing with the brute was like a puzzle game. It was a set path that had to be navigated. The correct piece needed to selected to continue. By now the puzzle should have been solved. But Shizu-chan could never truly be solved. Every move was unpredictable. Izaya knew he wouldn't have it any other way.

It was the same with Mikado. They both had their charm. He wouldn't change either one. The people around them had no such thoughts.

"Oi, flea. Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what, Shizu-chan?" Izaya left his thoughts. The blonde had inched further to the edge of the bed eyeing him warily.

"Like you want to eat me."

"Oh. But Shizu-chan, I-"

"Here you go." Mikado walked into the room carrying two bowls. One for himself and one for him. Izaya tried not to scowl as he took it. "Shizuo, did you have enough?"

"No. The flea took it."

"Oh."

x-x-x

The day passed quickly. Izaya helped him make dinner and all three of them ate without worries it had been contaminated. Shizuo had pulled himself out of bed now occupying the sofa. His eyes were closed but the slightest movement would wake him.

Mikado sat watching him whilst Izaya did the dishes. "You should get some sleep." The raven whispered one hand on his shoulder. Mikado noticed Izaya's hands were still warm.

"Did you do the dishes?" He asked just as quietly.

"I dealt with them." Izaya shrugged.

Mikado sighed. "You threw them away, didn't you?"

"We won't need them any more. Anything that's not a necessity, we'll leave behind." Izaya crouched beside the sleeping blonde. "Shizu-chan! Go sleep in the bedroom. You'll aggravate your wound."

"I'll be fine." Shizuo grumbled cracking one eye open. "You two can take the bed." Izaya looked back at him nodding subtly.

Mikado sighed. "Please sleep in the bed. You need to be at your best tomorrow."

Shizuo stared at him before dragging himself from the sofa. Izaya clapped his hands one arm threading through the blonde's.

"Nothing wrong with a little support, Shizu-chan."

"Piss off, flea."

x-x-x

It was hard to sleep sandwiched between the two ravens. Shizuo lay in the middle of the bed with Izaya on his left and Mikado on his right. Izaya's arm was slung haphazardly over his mid section and the teen was laying tense.

Izaya was being a bed hog deciding to sleep like a child. Shizuo didn't know how much longer he could bear Izaya's foot up his butt. Shizuo turned to glare at him but the raven was fast asleep.

The teen was asleep too- despite his rigid form- he was too close to the edge. Shizuo inched closer to Izaya gently guiding Mikado over to him. That of course caused Izaya to shift and treat him like a teddy bear. His own strength was nothing compared to the flea's when he was asleep. Izaya's arms curled around him squeezing him forward against his chest. For a moment Shizuo looked down at his side.

Rolling to face his old lover, Shizuo made sure Izaya kept away from his healing wound. "Mm. Shizu-chan." The raven murmured snuggling into him.

With a sigh he closed his eyes allowing himself to be Izaya's teddy bear for the rest of the night. It was going to be a busy day tomorrow, they needed all the rest they could get.

x-x-x

It was dark when Mikado opened his eyes. His bladder was full begging to be released. Sitting up he could see Izaya and Shizuo curled up with one another. The sight brought a smile to his lips as well as a spike of jealousy. For whom he didn't yet know. It could of course just be a trick of the eye. It was dark and all he could really see were two shapes close together. With a sigh the teen slipped from the bed padding quietly from the room.

"Nervous?" Kanra asked startling him.

"A little. I thought you were asleep."

"I sleep when you sleep and wake when you do."

"Oh. I guess that makes sense. You don't come out much when I'm with Shizuo." Mikado pointed out stepping into the bathroom. Rubbing his eyes he fumbled for the switch.

"The least I'm here the better for you. You know how this all started. We're almost there." Kanra grinned.

"No. For this...relationship...everyone needs to be accepting of you."

"Ooh. You said relationship. Are you planning to get back with them?"

Mikado bit his lip but he couldn't hide anything from his counterpart. Keeping quiet he emptied his bladder and washed his hands.

"You do. Don't you?"

"Does that upset you?"

"Why would it?" Kanra grinned. "You accept me. Izaya accepts me."

"But Shizuo doesn't." Mikado pointed out.

"No. Not yet. But he's talking to you. That's something."

"Maybe." Mikado answered. He doubted the blonde would accept Kanra. "We should put it to one side for now."

"Once you're out of Ikebukuro." Kanra whispered as they stepped into the bedroom. "You know, it's good to take the initiative."

Mikado sighed shaking his head as he climbed back into bed. Izaya had a grip on the covers he was refusing to relinquish. Turning on his side the teen moved so he had some of the covers. He tried not to think about himself pressed against Shizuo's back.

x-x-x

At five the alarm woke them. Izaya smiled as he released the brute from his hold. Mikado was up in a flash, jumping out of the bed. "G-good morning."

Shizuo was the last to get up. Like a bear with a sore head he fought to stay in the bed. "Shizu-chan, get up." Izaya told him. "If you don't I'll do things you wouldn't like."

"Don't you dare, flea." The blonde grumbled sitting up. Izaya reached out to check his temperature. "Don't worry about that. It's gone."

"Then you'll have no problem letting me check."

"I said no. Clear off so I can get changed."

"Are you okay if I make breakfast?"

"Knock yourself out."

x-x-x

Mikado ate. Izaya had made breakfast and the teen found himself eating without any worries. Then again Izaya had never tried to drug him...as far as he knew. It didn't matter. Today was far too important. Izaya wouldn't jeopardise their escape. Shizuo ate too. With a shirt on the wound couldn't be seen.

The teen fidgeted nervously. They had nothing except for their bags and each other. Shiki had the yakuza at his disposal and guns. Heavy weapons of death.

"For a last meal, this isn't bad." Izaya joked. Neither one of them laughed. They were eating too slowly. Mikado realised like him they were stalling. Here inside the apartment they had their safety. No matter how false it was.

x-x-x

Izaya called a cab. In fact he called a dozen cabs. None of them would take them out of Ikebukuro. He'd been given a nonsensical excuse from each one. Shiki had cut off the exit. One of them anyway. They could go anywhere around Ikebukuro just not outside it. He asked the driver to take them to sunshine 60. Given that they were trying to rekindle what they had, Shiki would believe they were simply going on a date.

The protozoan was slow. They had to take the elevator to preserve his strength. Izaya knew better than to say anything. Mikado kept looking around waiting for someone to jump out of them. Through the lobby they crossed the distance through the doors and outside where the cab was waiting. Izaya opened the door shifting the second bag over to his other hand. He climbed in first, followed by Mikado and then the blonde.

"Sunshine 60?" The driver asked. Izaya scanned the front section looking for a phone or anything that looked like a recording device.

"Ah. Change of plans. Take us to the station." Izaya sat back pulling his seatbelt across. The two bags sat in his lap. With a sigh he kept his eyes on the driver, his hand slipping into his old lover's. A small smile touched his mouth when he felt the brute squeeze back.

x-x-x

Something stank. The smell of Izaya's fear blended in with the betrayal he could smell from the driver. As a debt collector he knew how easily people could be enticed. This was no different. He knew Izaya had called every cab firm asking for prices.

Shiki would know too as soon as they left the cab. Next to him Mikado sat quietly hugging his bag. His own one Izaya had taken. Nothing strenuous.

"Flea."

"I know." Izaya answered his warning.

"Anything wrong?" The driver glanced back at them through the mirror.

"No." Izaya answered smoothly. "Is that your picture?"

"This? Yes. My wife and two children."

"Ah. They look like adorable little humans."

Shizuo said nothing. He left the talking to Izaya. He might be slower and still have a little bit of fever but he could still use his strength to stop the driver if it came to it.

x-x-x

Mikado stared at the looming sign of the station front. Both Izaya and Shizuo were acting strange. He was the first one out of the cab, nervous butterflies in his stomach.

Shizuo joined him and Izaya was last after tipping the driver. The two of them watched him drive off. "Right. Let's get going." Izaya grinned lifting the bags onto his shoulder.

The station was empty. Their footsteps echoed as they descended the steps. Shizuo had his head raised like a sniffer hound. Izaya didn't move forward until the blonde gave the go ahead. Mikado followed behind clutching the strap of his bag. It wouldn't be like last time. He reminded himself. This time all three of them were leaving.

Izaya brought their tickets handing him his. "Where's mine?"

"Shizu-chan, no stren-"

"It's a bloody ticket." Shizuo growled.

Izaya laughed. The only sound in the deserted place. It was early. It looked like the station had only just opened. They would be catching the first train.

Mikado slowed as they reached the platform. There it was. Long and empty. The doors slid open with a press of a button. "Let's go." Shizuo grunted nodding towards the door.

Mikado stared at the inside of the carriage. His feet refused to move. Shizuo already had one foot inside. "Mikado, come on." Izaya grinned.

His memory flashed back to that day. Izaya standing on the platform where he was now. Himself trapped inside the carriage helpless as it took him away.

"No." The teen whispered shaking his head.

"Mikado?" Izaya stepped forward teaching for him. Mikado took a shaky step back.

"No. Not again." He shouted trembling.

"Mikado."

"Not again." Turning on his heel. The bag slipped from his shoulder. As it hit the platform, Mikado ran from the station fighting the urge to be sick. Behind him Izaya and Shizuo called out his name.


	35. Time of death

**Time of death**

Izaya didn't believe in fate or destiny but right at that moment he was given a choice. One of his old lovers was standing at their getaway route. The other was running back through the station terrified he would be abandoned. It wasn't a choice whether to leave Mikado alone or not. The problem was the blonde. Izaya glanced back at him. If he told the brute to go then Shizuo would be out of Ikebukuro but away from him. Their bond was still fractured so there was no telling when they would see each other again.

But if he kept him behind there was a chance things could get messy. Izaya looked back at Mikado seeing the teen had reached the entrance. "Shizu-chan..."

"Get after him flea." The blonde shouted. "I'll catch up."

And like that the decision was taken away from him. Shizuo albeit slowly had left the train heading back the way they had come. Izaya sprinted across the station reaching out to catch Mikado's arm. The teen was quick using his absorbed training. Izaya felt pride well up.

"Shh." He murmured capturing the teen in his arms. "We'll find another way. It's okay." Taking the ticket, Izaya tore it in half. "See. No one is going anywhere."

Mikado trembled pushing away from him. Had the station been any busier someone would have intervened. Izaya sighed looking over the teen's shoulder. His eyes were on the blonde, scanning the area for threats.

"I'm sorry." The teen sobbed against him. "I can't."

"I know." Izaya murmured soothingly. "You tried. That's all you can do. We'll find another way." They couldn't go by cab or by train. Their only avenue left was for someone to drive them out. "Come on. I'll take you to our hotel room. It looks like Shizu-chan will need to rest."

Mikado nodded, a tearful mess that cling to him as soon as they were free of the station. "I've trapped us."

It was true. Izaya felt they were being watched. They were losing their escape routes one by one. Shiki was herding them into a corner. He'd thought about drugging the teen so he wasn't aware he'd faced his fear but that would only break them further apart.

"Shizu-chan?" The blonde was panting from exertion. It had been too early for the brute to move. Everything was going wrong.

"Don't give me that look, flea." The blonde snapped. "I told you to go on ahead. We're staying at the hotel, right?"

"Yeah." Izaya eyed his old lover warily. "Do you think you could make the walk?"

"Hah? I'll be the one carrying your lazy ass around." Despite his obvious fatigue, the brute ploughed on.

"Shizu-chan, you do know which hotel I've booked. Don't you?"

"Shut up. Stupid flea." The blonde growled but he didn't move forward.

"I didn't think so." Izaya smirked taking the lead.

x-x-x

Without incident- namely Shiki- the three of them made it to the hotel. Shizuo stood against the elevator holding Mikado, whilst Izaya sorted out their booking. It didn't take long but it felt an age. Shizuo cursed his own weakness. There was a dull throbbing in his side and he knew he'd done too much. The monster had a human body after all. Not that he wanted Izaya fussing over him. Mikado was the priority.

"All done." Izaya had all three bags slung over his shoulder. That was probably why the flea's feet were firmly on the ground. Not once on the way had his ex skipped. In Izaya's eyes this was all a game and they were losing. It was frustrating being run around like a weak powerless animal.

It was only the three of them in the elevator when the doors slid open. Izaya thumbed the button without double checking their keycard.

"Top floor?" The blonde asked.

"Second." It was access to a new escape point should they need it. Just down the end of the hall was a fire escape.

Both of his old lovers fell silent. With a sigh Izaya leaned back against the rail positioning himself in front of the doors. He would have preferred to take the stairs. Right now they were trapped in a box.

Finally the button for the second floor lit up and doors slid open. Izaya led the way out into a long hall. The doors on either side were a damning crimson, the same with the carpet beneath their feet. The walls themselves were a darkened cream.

Their room was at the end right next to the fire escape. The second keycard was for the second door on the right as they came out of the elevator. As an extra precaution he had booked a room on the top floor like he usually would and one on the first floor. For those rooms he'd used his real name. The one they were staying in was under an alias. He'd worked hard to create the perfect identity and now it was burnt if Shiki found them.

Izaya shifted the bags on his shoulder. Two of them had been fine. Three was a little heavy. Biting the inside of his cheek he slid the keycard across the lock and opened the door. Once inside he dropped all three bags walking around as he rolled his shoulder.

The room was the same garish red and cream as the hall but swapped. The walls were red and the carpet was cream It was a small room for what he had paid. The bed was a double pushed against the wall. Above it hung a picture of some flowers. On the wall opposite was a small TV held up by some brackets. In the corner was a wooden desk that looked like it had seen better days. On the desk was a coffee maker, a small kettle and a pack of plain biscuits.

The wall that followed was mostly window. Izaya opened the flimsy curtains looking down. They were quite high up but it was a good view point to see any incoming cars. To his right on the wall was a satellite dish and a little further on was the edge of the fire escape. He and Mikado could jump it no problem.

The only other door was to the bathroom. Which was smaller than the current room. Cramped together was a small bath, a sink and a toilet. The shower curtain was a murky cream. The toilet holder was empty and they had no soap.

Rolling his shoulder one last time he backed out looking mournfully at his old lovers. "Looks like we can't bathe together."

x-x-x

Shizuo scowled taking a seat on the bed. Mikado had meekly gone to stand by the desk staring at the coffee maker. "So how long are we staying here?" The mattress was solid and his feet touched the end of the bed.

"Not long. I'll find another way to get us out." The flea promised. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." Shizuo shrugged sweeping the remote from the small bedside table.

"Can I check the stitches are holding?"

"If you must." Shizuo switched on the TV turning down the sound. Izaya was at the side of the bed staring down at him. He made no move to take off his shirt.

"You're going to be difficult. Aren't you?"

"I'm not doing anything."

"That's the problem." Izaya muttered. "Suit yourself."

Izaya climbed onto the bed straddling his thighs. His nimble fingers quickly undid the buttons on his shirt letting it fall open. Izaya's hands gently eased the protective padding away but the tape still ripped along his skin. The wound was still there. An ugly red line held together by a series of small stitches.

"Like I said." Shizuo grumbled. But Izaya wasn't done. The annoyance pressed the back of his hand against his forehead. Shizuo slapped it away. Wide crimson stared at him and he knew he'd been found out.

"You're burning up." The flea snapped towering over him. "Mikado, get some water."

The teen nodded rushing into the small bathroom. He stepped out again a moment later his face ashen. "There's no water. I've turned on all the taps, nothing is coming out!"

"Fuck." Izaya swore.

"Flea, I'm fine." Shizuo sighed flipping the channel.

"You are not. Stay here."

"Where are you going?"

"To get ice." Izaya grabbed the bucket by the door. "Mikado, make sure the protozoan doesn't do anything stupid."

"Define stupid." Shizuo grumbled as the door opened and shut.

x-x-x

It was scary. Shizuo was sick. The strongest of them was crumbling and he couldn't do a thing. Mikado sat at the desk nibbling on a biscuit. They had no water. Was this Shiki's doing or just poor maintenance? Izaya was a long time. Did that mean their was no ice either? Were they being forced to go outside already? The apartment had been safer. Now Shiki knew he was trying to escape. The yakuza knew they were together.

Shizuo was oblivious to their worries propped up against the pillows and watching a nature documentary about lion cubs. With every minute Izaya was gone, a chill settled over his heart. When the time in the bottom right hand of the TV screen changed signalling an hour has passed, Mikado grew frantic. Something was wrong. If anything happened to Izaya, it would be his fault. His cowardice had stopped them moving forward. Right now they could be meeting up with Kasuka or standing free at another station.

"I-I'm going after him." Mikado ran out of the room and down the hall. If anything happened to Izaya...

x-x-x

So much for his shoulder. Izaya took the stairs one at a time. The hotel selection had been minimal at best and even then he didn't want to risk the food. Neither Mikado nor Shizuo would be happy to know he had gone shopping. Well the protozoan would be pacified with the overly sweet smelling cakes he had brought. Maybe enough to let him use the large bag of ice slowly freezing his shoulder. Just as he was thinking about taking the elevator, Izaya reached their floor.

With one last push he dragged himself along the hall to their door swiping the keycard with his mouth. "I'm back." He muttered through his teeth. Dropping the bags and sliding the ice from his shoulder, Izaya looked up seeing only one. "Where's Mikado?"

"He went looking for you." The blonde sighed sitting on the window.

"You didn't go after him?" Izaya scowled.

"I did." The brute turned away fists clenched.

Izaya took a deep breath. It wasn't Shizu-chan's fault. He was sick and currently weak.

"He won't leave the hotel." Izaya moved forward. "Besides he has Kanra with him."

"Hn."

"He'll be back soon." Izaya crossed over to the window circling his arms around the blonde. "The hotel didn't have ice. They don't have anything. I went shopping."

"What?" His old lover growled.

"I picked you up some of those cakes you like."

"That's not the-"

"The fresh cream ones." Izaya smiled.

"The ones with the little cherries on top?" The blonde asked eyes lighting up. Izaya nodded taking a step back before he was bowled over. So the brute was rummaging through the bags carrying them to the desk, Izaya wondered when it would be best to ask him to rest. His heart almost collapsed in relief when he heard the door.

"It's about time." Izaya yelled throwing open the door. "I told you to-" the cold barrel of a gun pointed right at him.

x-x-x

"You realise how stupid this is, right?" Kanra reminded him for the umpteenth time. "Izaya-nii can take care of himself better without worrying about us."

"I know." Mikado sighed. He'd checked the top floor first working his way down. He was now in the elevator to the ground floor. "I have a bad feeling."

"He's not going to be happy with you." Kanra remarked.

Mikado knew that. Izaya would be disappointed in him. He had left Shizuo and now he was in the lobby of the hotel. "Oh no."

Two men in dark suits stood blocking the doors. At the reception desk stood a small group of men. The one in front wore a crisp white suit. Shiki.

"Run." Kanra urged.

Mikado didn't have to be told twice. Bolting for the stairs he took them two at a time to the first floor. From there he ran down the hall to the fire escape. As he clambered onto the metal, a thunderous crack rang out above him.

"Hurry." Kanra cried. Mikado nodded running up the fire escape to the second floor. He covered his ears as more defeating shots rang out. Throwing himself through the window, his stomach sank seeing the door to their room was swinging open.

Tears welled in his eyes even before he reached the door frame to see the carnage inside. Everything was obliterated. It looked like a war had gone on. The window was smashed, the curtain blowing open. The desk was tipped over. The TV hung precariously from the wall. The dark walls had suddenly become polka dotted.

Mikado stared at the bed spread on the floor. Walking forward his sock soaked into carpet. Glancing over he could see the coffee maker had broken.

"Mikado." Kanra murmured softly. And that's when he saw it. A pale hand flopped unmoving against the floor.

Mikado threw a hand against his mouth trying not to scream. Shizuo was laying on the floor his eyes wide open. His bangs were swept back, a gaping hole in his forehead.

"No. No no."

Next to him was Izaya, one arm in the bathroom as if Shizuo had tried pushing him to get away. Their hands were joined. Mikado fell to his knees letting their blood soak through his jeans. They were gone. Reaching out he felt the footsteps behind him, the hand on his shoulder.

Shiki. He knew by the cold chill in his bones it was the yakuza. But he still looked over his shoulder. "Come."

Mikado let the tears spill down his cheeks. He let his anger and grief fuel him reaching for the gun beside him. Slowly his fingers clenched around the weapon of death.

"Mikado." Kanra whispered.

Spinning his body he shuffled back to the splintered desk holding the gun with both hands. He was trembling. His eyes flickered to the bodies of his lovers. He'd never made up with them. Not properly. He'd never told them that he still loved them. Now he'd never get the chance.

"Mikado." Kanra snapped.

"You did this." Mikado shouted pointing the gun at Shiki.

"They were in the way." The cold man responded. "Come."

"No." Mikado fired the gun. His first shot went wide as he fell back. Before he could get off the second the yakuza goons were on him dragging him from the room.

But he had been trained by Izaya and Shizuo. Their legacy lived within him and Kanra. Mikado used his speed breaking their hold. He kicked out slamming the base of his foot into the first goon's knee. Kanra took care of the second and then they were sprinting through the door back down the fire escape.

Heavy steps followed. Mikado flipped over forgoing the stairs. Letting go he let his body drop. At the next part he held on feeling the muscles in his arms wrench. He dropped again to the first floor looking below to see them waiting for him.

That was when he heard it. Sirens. Red and blue lights rushed towards them. The goons below looked confused before a rush of black waves took them down. Celty stood at the bottom of the escape holding her arms out. Mikado let himself drop.

_What happened?_

"S-Shizuo, I-Izaya." Mikado sobbed against her. The ambulance pulled up across the front of the hotel parked diagonally. The back doors flew open. "They got hurt."

His legs wobbled but he pushed himself running to the paramedics. "Second floor. Last door. The fire escape is quicker." Mikado pointed.

Grabbing their bags they hurried up the fire escape. Four of them. Celty was gone too in a blur she would be with Shizuo. Mikado fell to his knees guided into the ambulance whilst the remaining man looked him over. From the corner of his eye he watched Shiki and his guards walking from the hotel.

x-x-x

Mikado waited patiently gulping down the bottle of water he had been given. The doors to the hotel opened. The four that had gone in walked out looking downcast. Celty followed and behind her on shadow trolleys were Shizuo and Izaya.

"Mikado." Kanra whispered sadly as he jumped out.

Celty shook her head throwing her arms around him keeping him from looking over her shoulder. Her body racked with despair.

"No."

"They were already dead when we got here." He overheard one of the paramedics. Mikado collapsed his body lifted in Celty's arms. Kanra's voice echoed in his mind.

x-x-x

Celty vanished as soon as he'd been dropped at the police station. Mikado sat staring at the stark white walls of the room they had left him in. Protective custody they called it.

"Mikado." Kanra whispered.

He didn't want to talk. Or to eat. Mikado felt a numb hollowness inside him. The police asked him questions that he couldn't answer. Kanra took over for that allowing him to retreat inside himself. His clothes were stained with their blood but sitting on the corner of the cot was a small bundle.

"Mikado." Kanra pressed him for a response. "Remember."

"I am." Mikado answered sullenly fresh tears streaming his cheeks.

Then someone new came. His mother. She stood outside the room looking in on him. Mikado knew he would be going home. Standing up he followed his mother from the room and out of the station. His body still felt tired despite spending the night in a cot.

His mother smiled sadly leading him into the light. Parked outside was Shiki leaning against a black limo. Mikado clutched his mother's arm. "Don't let him take me."

"Of course not." His mother smiled patting his arm. She guided him straight to the waiting car. Mikado slumped in the back seat.

"Mikado." Kanra whispered. "Snap out of it."

Mikado's head lolled to the side staring blankly out of the window. Shiki was gone in a different direction. The yakuza could take him from Izaya and Shizuo but not from his mother. He should have stayed in Saitama.

"Mikado!" Kanra hissed.

"I'm sorry." Mikado said. "I've let everyone down."

"Oh honey, I'm just glad you're okay. Let's get you home."

"Home." Kanra urged.

Mikado closed his eyes. "Mom, I want to tell you something. I know you'll be surprised and disappointed and angry. But I want you to listen."

So he told her. From start to finish he told her everything. About Izaya and about Shizuo. Even about Kanra. He left out no details watching his mother's face shift through a variety of emotions. Mikado was crying again his tone flat. No one had mentioned Izaya or Shizuo's funeral. But they went anyway.

"I love them. Both of them." Mikado smiled sadly looking at the church as they passed. Izaya would be rolling in his grave if they treated him like everyone else. "They loved me, protected me and even after everything they died for me."

"Mikado." His mother stared back at him stopping the car by the graveyard as he'd asked.

"I can't let them go. Not after they abandoned everything for my safety." Opening the door he looked at the silhouette standing in front of the graves. Walking towards them, Mikado could see it was a slim woman with long black hair, a mid black dress and heels.

At his approach the woman turned around to smile at him, ruby eyes shining. "They didn't bury us together. I thought Shinra would have intervened. I guess it was too much for him."

"Hey." Mikado smiled through his tears. He'd almost lost it. If not for Kanra...

"Hey. Women's underwear chafes, hm?"

Mikado nodded wanting to throw his arms around the cross dresser. Instead he turned back walking towards the car. When they were both inside his mother drove away. Mikado wiped his eyes taking the warm hand held out to him.


	36. Something not right

**Something not right**

_A/N:- Last few chapters._

Izaya Orihara was loved. The funeral is a small event just like Shizuo's will be. The informant is buried with his family. Shinra has managed to stop the priest from saying anything overly religious. Everyone the informant ever helped attends sitting patiently in their seats to say their goodbyes.

Rio is one of the more familiar ones. Namie is there too, along with Seiji and Mika. Kadota and the van gang sit in stunned silence. Anri and Masaomi are there too. Shinra sits at the front frozen in shock. Unfortunately it's only the first of the two funerals. The illegal doctor has to say goodbye to one more friend before the day is over.

At the back on the edge of the other mourners, stands a woman in black, a wide hat sitting on her head. A long trench coat is drawn around her slim figure. She watches with a smile. The humans had loved Izaya after all. Turning from the crowd the woman leaves. Her only regret is putting Shinra through so much pain. It will take a long time for the bespectacled raven to recover. He'll be okay though. Celty is at his side.

x-x-x

Celty almost maims someone with her scythe. Shizuo Heiwajima has almost as many spectators as Izaya did. Sitting at the front are Tom, who's in tears with his head on the sealed coffin. Anri is there with Shinra, who's on the verge of a breakdown and Celty who's grief is palpable from the shadows drowning their feet.

Kasuka stands to give his eulogy. The retired actor looks distraught and empty. The words spoken towards the older Heiwajima are lifeless. Everyone understands.

The van gang sit in silence in the row behind with Simon. The woman in black wants to know why the sushi seller didn't come to Izaya's funeral. Instead she looks around, brow furrowing when she can't find who she's looking for. The guest of honour hasn't turned up to his own funeral.

x-x-x

The woman thinks about her future now that it's come to this. She stands in front of Shizuo's grave waiting for her visitor to appear. It's not her other half that steps up beside her but his brother. Glancing to the side he can see the young man isn't phased by the words on the stone.

"Good afternoon, Kasuka-kun."

"Is it?"

"It's a new day." The woman smiles. "A new beginning."

"Killing off my brother is hardly a new beginning." Kasuka tells him. There's a small bit of anger in his words.

"This is the way it has to be. This is the only way we'll be left alone. He wasn't at the funeral today?"

"No. He said it was too morbid. He'd hurt enough people."

"Shame. It would have been a good chance to see how loved the monster truly was. He meant a lot to everyone."

"He still does."

"Yes. You're taking him to your new home?"

"Yes. He needs to heal."

The woman nodded. "Maybe he will this time. I'll make my own way. Mikado will be here soon."

"Good luck." Kasuka handed him a scrap of paper with an address and contact details on.

The woman took it smiling at the address. Soon they would be together again. It was a pain her partner had to be left to another. More so that their was a niggling feeling in the back of her mind. Too late now. Kasuka had left and a car was pulling up.

Patting the headstone, she turned to smile at the teen walking towards her. "They didn't bury us together. I thought Shinra might have intervened."

Mikado nodded eyes wet. "Hey."

"Hey. Women's underwear chafes, hm?"

The teen nodded turning away. They'd already spent too long out in the open. Once they were both in the car, the woman relaxed taking Mikado's hand.

Mikado's mother drove away staring at her through the mirror. "And you would be?"

"I don't have a name right now." She smiled.

"This is Izaya." Mikado smiled leaning into him. "One of my lovers."

Izaya raised a brow in question. Mikado crawled into his lap stealing his breath away.

"Okay. I thought you were a woman. My mistake. Should you be making out when there still might be eyes watching you?"

"Your mother has a point, Mikado."

"I know." The teen grumbled slouching back into his seat. "I love you."

"Oh? It takes me dying for you to tell me?"

"I was stupid."

Izaya shook his head smiling. "It's okay."

"Excuse me. How are you not dead?" The teen's mother was looking back at him strangely.

"We had a plan. All or nothing." Izaya sighed stroking the back of Mikado's hand. "It wasn't enough for just the three of us. So I added two more. The first is you and the second is Kasuka."

"Me? I'm just here to take my son home."

"Exactly. You're the only one that can." Izaya explained. "Mikado wouldn't have been able to leave without you. We knew we wouldn't be able to leave by train but we tried anyway. Shiki would have been expecting us to try. I booked a series of hotel rooms. In the one down the hall was Kasuka."

"That's Shizuo's brother." Mikado supplied.

"Ah. Your...husband?"

"Yeah." The teen flushed.

"Kasuka is a retired actor who left Ikebukuro. No one knew he was back. He was the one who did all our make up and gave us a few cheats. He brought an artist to help so it was done in double time."

"The blood?" Mikado's mother asked.

"Real. It's from a donor."

"I see. Continue."

Izaya nodded squeezing Mikado's hand. "Once it was done we used a real gun to destroy the room. Kasuka left with his assistant moving to another room that his friend had booked. The yakuza wouldn't have laid a finger on her."

"It's another idol. The yakuza like her."

"That was when Mikado had to come back to find us. I called an ambulance and Shizu-chan called Celty."

"So you were in no harm?"

"Not quite. We took a drug to help us appear dead. Kasuka said he used it in a vampire movie. He had to be dead for a large chunk of it. If Shiki wanted to he could have shot us. It was all or nothing."

"You traumatised my son."

Izaya glanced over to Mikado. "I-I knew what was happening but when I saw them like that I forgot. I thought they were really-"

"Shh. No one died." Izaya soothed kissing the top of Mikado's head.

"Yeah. I know. Kanra kept me anchored."

Then it was a good thing she was there.

"I don't know how I'm going to explain this to your father. Or what I'm going to call you, young man."

"Izaya is a unique name. I won't be able to use it."

"One last question. Why are you dressed like a woman?"

Izaya laughed quietly. "Shizu-chan's revenge. He'd asked Kasuka to supply our clothes." Turning to Mikado he smiled. "They look good but these things aren't made for comfort. You can wear whatever you want."

"This...husband of yours, are we picking him up too?"

Izaya answered. "No. He went with Kasuka. We'll meet up with him when it's safe."

"Okay...is he dressed like a woman too?"

"No. He looks like a regular bad boy, I imagine. No hair dye, dark jeans, white top and a leather jacket. Those were the clothes I saw."

"It looks like both of you have been through a lot. Get some rest. I'll get us home."

Mikado nodded flopping against his shoulder. "Thanks mom."

x-x-x

Saitama. They were here and free of Ikebukuro and bad guys with evil plans. His father was home and up to date on everything that had happened. Mikado didn't know what his mother had said but it was accepted and life moved on.

Izaya was to stay in his room since they'd established they were in a relationship. His mother had taken pity on him offering to go clothes shopping. Izaya had taken up the offer and sent her off with some money. He'd withdrawn all his money from the bank and given it to Kasuka for safe keeping. They had enough to keep them going for a few months.

His lover was back in basic black looking a lot happier. If not for the frown that crossed his mouth every so often. Mikado knew he was worrying about Shizuo. He was too. The last he had seen of his husband was his deathlike appearance.

Izaya joined them for dinner and supper where his parents asked about the informant's life. Then they were both sent to bed. Mikado glanced at the lock on his door. Seeing the duo dead put a lot of things in perspective. Locking the door he moved to the bed laying next to his topless lover.

"Mikado?"

He kissed him. Full on the mouth one hand cupping his lover's cheek. He could feel Izaya smile kissing back.

"You sure?"

"Yeah." The teen nodded. "I need you. Prove to me you're still here. I don't want to wake up and still be in that room." Mikado pleaded.

"You don't want to wait until we meet up with Shizu-chan?"

"No. I need you now." Mikado kissed him again letting the older male roll on top of him.

"Keep your voice down, hm?"

"Yeah." Kanra giggled. "Wouldn't want your parents hearing you."

Mikado blushed. Izaya kissed him, not moving on from his face. It had been a while. Raising his hands he smoothed his thumbs over Izaya's cheeks and jawline. Izaya smiled patiently crinkling the sides of his mouth.

"You're here." The teen breathed tears threatening to fall.

"I'm here." Izaya reaffirmed. "I'm not going anywhere." They kissed some more, Mikado hugging Izaya to him. "I can't move like this." His lover grinned wickedly. "You do want to do other things?"

More than anything. Mikado settled for a nod urging Izaya to touch him. "Please. Touch me."

The teen shivered under his thin cotton pajamas. It had taken a lot to take off his blood soaked clothes at the station. They had given him what they had in the lost property. Now his top was pushed up exposing his torso.

Izaya breathed deep positioned between his thighs. His head rested on his abdomen. "I'm sorry. First the fire and now guns and blood."

"It was worth it." Mikado whispered smoothing his fingers through Izaya's hair. "I'm free. I'm here with you-"

"And Shizu-chan."

Mikado smiled. "Yeah. Kanra too."

"I don't think I can go any further." Izaya shrugged lazily closing his eyes.

"No. I think I just want to cuddle. We can do that, can't we?" Mikado asked quietly.

"Yeah. That we can do. I do want to touch you though."

"Me too."

"For now cuddling is good."

Mikado closed his eyes his body rolled on top of Izaya's. "I think it's because this isn't our home."

"Hm? Maybe. I love you, Mikado."

"Me too." Kanra answered not at all happy about being cut out.

"Yes. You too." Izaya grinned kissing their nose. "I guess we should include the protozoan too."

Mikado nodded lifting his head. Izaya already had his phone to his ear. Creeping up he listened to the voicemail service. "He's not answering."

"Remember Shizu-chan is still sick. We're going to see him tomorrow."

"Yeah. C-could you try again? Maybe leave a message?"

"Sure."

"You're worried." Kanra whispered.

"I have a bad feeling." Mikado murmurs watching Izaya try again.

"We're at Mikado's parents. We'll be coming tomorrow. Goodnight, Shizu-chan."

"Goodnight Shizuo." Mikado says when Izaya holds the phone his way. When the call ends Izaya pockets the phone holding him close.

x-x-x

Mikado knew as soon as he closed his eyes the nightmares would start. He found himself thrust back into that room seeing his lovers on the floor. This time it was Shiki that stood over them with a now empty gun.

He'd woken up in a silent scream finding himself curled up in Izaya's arms. Slipping from the bed, the teen unlocked the door hurrying softly down the stairs. In the kitchen he poured himself a glass of water and then he was outside in the fresh air gasping for breath.

Long shaky breaths spilling the water. Mikado sat down against the outside wall his head on his knees. A hand rested on his shoulder. Izaya. He knew it would be the older raven. "Nice night, hm?"

"Y-yeah." Mikado forced his head up to look at the starless sky. His eyes were wet and he knew he wouldn't be able to stop the tears.

Izaya sat down beside him one arm around his shoulders, helping to anchor him back to reality. "Everything will be okay. Once we catch up with Shizu-chan, it will be a new beginning for all of us."

"I know." Mikado nodded letting Izaya brush away the wetness on his cheeks. "I haven't spoken to Shizuo or seen him since the hotel."

"Neither have I." Closing his eyes he rested his head against the raven's shoulder. "You're not the only one anxious to see him again. Come on. You don't want your mother to worry about you."

Mikado nodded resting his weight on Izaya to help him up. "Everything will be okay, won't it?" The teen asked meekly, head bowed.

"I promise. Now come to bed."

"Oh? Finally getting it on?" Kanra teased.

"He didn't mean it like that!" Mikado flushed.

"Didn't I?" Izaya asked with a wink.

"I-"

"I'm joking. You'll have to take the initiative."

"You'll be waiting a long time." Kanra grinned. Mikado scowled. They were being unfair but it took his mind off of the bad things.

x-x-x

Mikado had never seen his mother look so happy. She pulled them out of bed early the next morning, fussing over them. Mikado was surprised Izaya had been shoved in the shower with him. Now they were eating breakfast, their plates laden with food. Apparently his mother liked Izaya. She looked at him as if she had gained a child.

"So I get to meet your husband today?"

"Y-yeah." Mikado filled his mouth reaching for his glass of water.

"Once we pick him up. We're going to Akabane." Izaya explained. "By train if it's okay?"

Mikado nodded.

"Will you need lunch?"

"We should be okay." Izaya smiled. "I'm sorry to take your son away from you again so soon."

His mother smiled. "You're coming back. I should go shopping. Prepare something special for dinner."

"Mom! No-"

"If you get a couple of cakes or anything dairy, the protozoan will be happy." Izaya shrugged.

"Izaya-nii, we should go."

"Let's go catch a train."

"I'll drive you to the station after breakfast."

Mikado nodded clenching his hands under the table. Would Shizuo accept his confession? The blonde hadn't called them back or answered the phone when they called again this morning. Izaya leaned over resting a hand on his shoulder.

x-x-x

It was strange seeing Izaya without his fur trimmed coat. Mikado ignored the looks they received on the train. Not because they recognised Izaya as he feared but because they were holding hands. Izaya wouldn't abandon him. Not again.

His heart clenched finding somewhere to sit. It was almost time. Mikado swallowed, his hands clammy. Izaya was the same but hid it better.

"How did Kasuka-san take the news?" He asked quietly. When Kasuka had arrived it had been a quick glance and a nod.

"He wasn't happy. After the state I left Shizu-chan in, I don't think he'll ever forgive me."

"But he helped."

"Yeah. Shizu-chan asked him to."

Mikado sighed squeezing Izaya's hand. "Do you regret it?"

"Regret what?"

"Leaving everything behind?" Mikado asked softly.

"I'd already quit as an informant. Either someone else will step up or they'll find another source elsewhere. I made the right choice." Izaya smiled kissing his cheek.

"Won't you miss your friends?"

"...yeah. Shinra thinks he lost both of us. This has probably hurt him the most."

Mikado nodded remembering their last exchange. "D-did you make up?"

"Yeah. I called him before we...died. It doesn't matter now. That part of our life doesn't exist any more. We can't go back to Ikebukuro."

Mikado nodded. "This train doesn't go through Ikebukuro?"

"No."

"Oh."

Kanra grinned. "He thought that because of your disguise."

Mikado shook his head. Izaya was wearing blue for a change. Dark indigo jeans that hugged his legs and a black tee with some logo splashed over it in white. A small silver chain hung from the belt loops. If anyone from Ikebukuro or Shibuya saw Izaya now, they would bypass him in a second.

"Hm?" His lover raised a brow. "You don't like it?"

Mikado looked away. "It looks good."

Izaya smiled lifting his chin forcing their eyes to meet. Mikado found himself staring at the raven's lips. "That's not what I asked, Mikado-kun."

"I- we shouldn't be drawing attention to ourselves. Anyone could get curious and take a photo."

Izaya nodded leaving him alone. "You're right. We have to be careful."

Mikado bit back his disappointment.

"So. I noticed there was a black skirt on the bed this morning." Izaya narrowed his gaze. "Was that for you or me?"

"Me." Kanra smiled. "We're negotiating. We're wearing the skirt tomorrow."

"At the weekend." Mikado corrected.

"Tomorrow."

"It looks like you both have things sorted. Let me know if you need anything." Mikado nodded blushing when Izaya ruffled his hair.

"Izaya-nii, I want purple contacts." Kanra smiled.

"I'd rather not." Mikado sighed.

"It's the contacts or a dress." His counterpart huffed.

x-x-x

The address was in Shimo. Izaya paid for the cab once they were out of the station. Their destination was a share house. Big enough for the four of them and two more. Izaya looked at it, that gnawing feeling was back again. It didn't look like somewhere a high earning actor would be living. The door slid open at his touch, opening into the thin hall.

The hall was empty, their feet echoing across the laminated flooring. Around the corner were steep steps and right next to them was the first room. Izaya poked his head in seeing it was empty apart from the tatami mats, a few scrolls and a television.

The kitchen was relatively small and unused as was the bathroom. Izaya kept Mikado close as they explored the upstairs. Six rooms and only one of them had a bed. The rest were unfurnished or had a single appliance. Izaya felt it before he'd opened the last door. Not once had he called out for the blonde.

"Where is he?" Izaya shrugged taking the piece of paper from his pocket. He had memorised the address but he double checked anyway. It was the right place. Taking out his phone he tried to call receiving no answer. "Damn it, Shizu-chan."

Had their old lover run away after all? There was nothing left for the protozoan, that was the only reason he had allowed Kasuka to take him.

"Izaya, where is Shizuo?" Mikado asked quietly tugging at his tee.

"I-" downstairs they heard a chorus of noise. Izaya led the way seeing a small group of what he'd estimate as university students. It was a mix of boys and girls, each lugging multiple bags or a suitcase.

"Oh. Hey. You're the guy from the phone, right?" One of the guys stepped forward. "Thanks for accepting our offer. We thought we'd end up in different houses."

"You're living here?" Izaya asked slowly to confirm.

"Yeah. You emailed all the forms across."

"Right." Izaya steeled himself leading Mikado from the apartment. The protozoan had run away from them. "Fuck." Mikado looked around as if it was all a prank. Izaya gathered him into his arms kissing the top of his head. The brute was gone.

x-x-x

Shizuo glanced at the time. It was reaching midnight and there was no sign of Izaya or Mikado. He'd been worried about sleeping in case he missed their arrival.

He wasn't alone but he might as well have been. The room was a strange shape closest to a trapezium. It was a double room with two identical beds. Too big for him alone no matter the size. The walls were a warm dark sunshine giving off a glow thanks to the ceiling lights. The mattress was soft, his injured body sinking into the white covers. Propping him up was half a dozen cushions.

Behind each bed was a framed picture. Flowers and a horse in this room. To the side against the window was a TV. Decorated around the rest of the room was a small table with a small vase of flowers, a small chair for one person and a three seater.

The most noticeable thing about the room was the window. Made to stretch to the height of the ceiling and the length of the wall. Shizuo didn't have to get up but he did so anyway. What met him was a landscape of skyscrapers and lights. With a sigh he looked out at the starless sky. The lights that were Tokyo tower would have outshone them anyway.

Mikado would like being here. So would Izaya, he would spout out facts and history he had researched. But they weren't there. Not yet. "Nii-san, you should be resting."

"Kasuka, you gave Izaya the address, didn't you?"

"Yes. Nii-san, you can't stay up all night waiting for them. We can't stay here long either. This hotel isn't cheap."

Shizuo nodded. Everything about the room screamed luxury. The bathroom en suite was a shiny black and glass. The bath was big enough to lay down flat. It was as expected of his brother. Yet again another debt he couldn't repay.

"We can wait another day." Kasuka walked over to him pulling the curtains shut. Just like that his world was reduced to one strangely shaped room. "On the condition you rest."

Shizuo nodded sure Izaya would turn up Tomorrow. Climbing into bed, he let the fresh scent of the covers to fill his senses. He wondered if Mikado was okay. What the teen had witnessed-even if it was fake- would be traumatising. He hoped Izaya was being gentle, guiding him safely from his nightmares should they occur.

Shizuo rolled into the middle of the bed stretching himself out like a starfish. His toes reached the edge of the bed. Too much space. It didn't feel right. Rolling back he made himself as small as possible, piling cushions to his left and right. For now it would have to do. "Goodnight, Kasuka."

"Goodnight nii-san." His brother answered from the other bed.

"Goodnight, Mikado. Goodnight, flea." There was no answer. Shizuo clutched the cushion feeling a part of him was missing. Maybe they were running late. Maybe something urgent came up. Izaya could turn up during the morning. He could suck it up for a few more hours.


	37. Let him go

**Let him go**

_A/N:- Last few chapters, almost there. _

Mikado didn't have time to cry. Truth be told he wasn't given time to cry. His mother and his father smothered him, telling him it would be okay and that he already had Izaya.

Izaya said nothing though he did scowl when his parents bad mouthed Shizuo. For his part he hadn't taken off the ring. The silver band was heavy on his finger. That's what his mother was most annoyed about; his marriage to Shizuo. She didn't like that he hadn't consulted her. She wasn't there seeing her only child on what should have been the happiest day of his life.

His mother's reservations went on and on forming a list that had well and truly screwed up the fortissimo's chances of playing happy families. Whilst his mother's opinion of Shizuo plummeted to depths he hadn't known were possible, her expectations of Izaya swelled.

They hadn't spoken to each other regarding the absence of their old lover. Mikado was weak, feeling sick at the mention of Shizuo's name. Shizuo had become a forbidden word in the Ryugamine household.

Mikado stood with his empty plate, walking around the table to collect Izaya's. As he took them to the sink his mother spoke. "You should get legal advice." Mikado flinched setting the plates in the sink. "Marriage is a binding agreement. You and Izaya-kun will never be able to get married."

"We don't need to." Mikado twisted the tap harshly.

"Well of course you do. If you want to be recognised-"

"We can't." Izaya answered taking the attention away from him. "I can't use my identity. Even if Mikado-kun managed to get a divorce, ours would be a forgery."

"But surely-"

"Mom, Izaya's a ghost." Mikado sighed head bowed. Because of him the older raven could never flaunt in public like before.

"As long as we're together," Izaya stood moving to his side. "nothing else matters."

"But that's not fair." Mikado smiled at the whine in his mother's voice.

"Perhaps not." Kanra clutched Izaya's hand. "What's done is done. Now we move forward."

"As for this husband of yours," His mother couldn't hide her disgust. "he's not welcome in this house."

Mikado nodded. Shizuo would never be on peaceful terms with his parents. Which didn't matter since he'd been abandoned. It was the sixth day since they'd gone to meet up with Shizuo, full of excitement and nerves. Only to return empty handed, sitting in silence on the train ride back trying not to cry.

"I'll finish the dishes. Why don't you two go and play." Mikado didn't argue, quietly shuffling out of the kitchen. He didn't look to see if Izaya was following, he knew he would be.

It hurt. Through all the planning to be together, he'd thought Shizuo had finally come around. They'd both thought he would stay with them. They'd both been wrong. Like Izaya, Shizuo was a ghost. There was no way to track down someone that no longer existed.

Shizuo had made his choice. The blonde was free from them, from his guilt and lingering regrets. Apart from the scars and memories that would follow him. At least he'd thought so, until Kanra had pointed out that they weren't permanent. The ring could be taken off and Izaya's name could be covered with surgery. It terrified him that one day they could pass Shizuo in the street and not recognise him. Kasuka would help reinvent him, from appearance to mannerisms.

"Mikado, watch your step." Izaya caught him as his foot went too far forward, kicking the next and stubbing his toe.

"Sorry." Mikado mumbled.

"Don't apologise." Izaya murmured taking his hand.

x-x-x

Another nightmare. Mikado was used to them by now. Opening his eyes he refrained from shooting up and panicking. Next to him Izaya lay still. "Izaya?" He whispered into the dark.

"Mm?"

Mikado rolled on his side, placing his hands against Izaya's chest. Izaya's arm curled around him bringing him closer. The tremors subsided in the raven's warmth. Mikado opened his mouth, swallowing past the lump in his throat. He didn't want to hear the truth but he had to know. "...D-do you think he left Ikebukuro?"

Izaya's breath was harsh as he exhaled too quickly. The raven's arms tightened around him. "Yes." That was it. No explanation or opinion. Mikado dreaded asking a follow up question but he needed to know.

"Why?"

"Because the money was returned."

Mikado shrank in on himself feeling stupid. Two hours after they had returned, the money Izaya had left in Kasuka's care was delivered by an unmarked van. The same bags were stashed under his bed.

"Mikado, I'm not going to leave you." Izaya smoothed his hair down, placing a kiss on top. "I promise."

"I know."

"Good. Try and get some sleep."

Mikado nodded closing his eyes. But he didn't sleep, he didn't want to open himself up to the nightmares hanging on the edge of his consciousness, ready to pounce. Izaya didn't sleep either. The raven was awake remaining still. Neither one of them said another word. It was how their nights passed, clutching hold of one another, trying to fill the void left behind.

x-x-x

Seven days. Mikado awoke unsurprised to see the dark bags under his eyes. Splashing a cool blast of water across his face, the teen rubbed uselessly at his eyes. His mother would notice he hadn't been sleeping. Turning off the tap, Mikado grabbed the towel to dry his face. Izaya was waiting for him when he opened the door in his pyjamas.

"Morning." He murmured.

Izaya gave him a once over, heaving a small sigh. "Morning. Breakfast is on the table."

"You made it?"

"Have to earn my keep somehow."

Mikado flinched. They couldn't stay at his parents forever. Throughout the week Izaya had made subtle hints that they needed to get their own place. They needed to move forward.

"Mikado!" His mother called up the stairs. "There's a call for you."

Izaya raised a brow and Mikado knew he was running every possibility through his head. As for himself, he flew down the stairs before the raven could stop him. In his heart the dredges of hope sparked.

Taking the phone from his mother, he fought not to cry Shizuo's name over the speaker. "H-hello?"

_"Mikado Ryugamine?" _Mikado deflated, shoulders slumping. It was a woman. Her voice breezy but clipped.

"Yes, that's me."

_"You have a room booked at our hotel. If you don't come in today, I'm afraid we'll have to give the room to someone else."_

Mikado shook his head. "No, I'll be there."

"Great. We'll see you later today."

Mikado hung up the call after taking down the details, finding Izaya standing over him. Likewise with his mother.

"Mikado? You booked a room in such a high class hotel?"

"Yeah." The teen answered quickly. His own thoughts were racing. "I completely forgot about it."

Rushing upstairs, Mikado grabbed a bag stuffing his clothes inside. The bedroom door closed. "It's not Shizu-chan."

"It could be."

"Or it could be a trap set for you." Izaya didn't look happy.

Mikado clutched the bag. "It's not. The only way I'd go is to look for you or Shizuo. No one knows you're still alive. It's not a trap."

He didn't understand why Izaya wasn't as hopeful as he was. "Then it's a last fuck you from Kasuka-kun." Izaya scowled leaning against the closed door.

Mikado shook his head. "We should check it out."

"No." Izaya folded his arms glaring at the bag.

"Why not?" Mikado asked clutching the strap.

"I don't want you to get your hopes up." Izaya shrugged.

"What's wrong with that?" He cried hating how Izaya was acting. "We need closure. We don't know anything!" The teen paused looking wearily at his lover. "Do we?"

"No-"

"Then this our best chance. This could be our last-"

"Enough." Izaya snapped. Mikado flinched back in surprise.

"Why? Why don't you want to try?"

"It doesn't matter." Izaya muttered. "You're not going."

Mikado pressed forward forcing the last of his clothing into the bag. He'd be covered for three days. "If there's a chance Shizuo is there, then I'm going."

"Let him go!" Izaya barked. "This isn't something Shizu-chan would do. He's not...smart enough. He doesn't know your address or phone number. "

"Then maybe he had help." Mikado threw the bag on the bed clenching his fists. "I- we need to do this!"

"No."

"Why not?" Mikado's voice rose, his skin felt clammy but he kept his eyes on Izaya's. "Don't you want to see him again?"

"Say we go," Izaya said softly. "what will you do if Shizu-chan isn't there?"

"Come back here." He'd be a little sad but he wouldn't regret going to check.

"What will you do if he is there?" Mikado opened his mouth to respond but Izaya wasn't done. "What if he doesn't want to be with you or me?"

"I-" Mikado shook his head. Shizuo loved them, didn't he? "It would break my heart." He finally answered head drooping.

"See, that's why-"

"But then I'd know his decision." Mikado interrupted. "I'd know there was no future for me and Shizuo. It would take time but I'd move on. I have you, Izaya." Mikado crouched down on his knees, bowing in front of the raven, his forehead touching his bedroom floor. "Please. One last shot. Then I'll give up."

Mikado squeezed his eyes shut, listening to Izaya's footsteps crossing the room. He felt the raven's shadow pass over him. Opening his eyes, he raised his head seeing Izaya crouched next to him. His eyes swam with sadness, one thumb smoothed against his cheek.

"Okay. One last time." Izaya said softly. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"I've been hurting already." Mikado rested his head on Izaya's shoulder. "I've learnt not to run away from things. We need an answer and this is it."

x-x-x

The trip wasn't a complete waste. It was ten o'clock and Mikado was currently gawking up at Tokyo tower, like a tourist. Or a child. It was as if all the worries the teen had fled his face leaving behind the innocence he had fallen in love with.

Izaya was a lot more composed taking on his new persona. The indigo jeans had to go, the same with the band tee. He couldn't be seen favouring one group of humans. He'd have to discard his habits.

"Look look." Mikado grinned waving his phone around. "How tall is it?"

"332.9 meters." Izaya answered softly. He didn't want to break the teen's happiness.

"Woah. So tall. Is it the tallest structure in the world?"

"Izaya chuckled shaking his head. "Not by a long shot. The tallest is 830 meters."

"Can we go and see it?"

"You don't know where it is." Izaya took the phone sliding through the pictures taken.

"It doesn't matter. We could go travelling, couldn't we?" Mikado looked painfully lost. Izaya nodded before the light in those shimmering blue eyes died.

"We'll see. Do you want to go up to the observatory?"

"Later please." Mikado smiled but Izaya could see his fingers red from clutching the bag strap too tight. He didn't want to see the teen's heart break. His own was frozen, slowly accepting the protozoan's decision. This was the last chance. If the brute wasn't inside the hotel there would be nothing for them. Izaya would never forgive him and if they did meet again, it would be as enemies.

"Let's go." Izaya turned his back against the view of Tokyo tower, leading Mikado through the doors of the hotel. He didn't have time to appreciate the beauty of the lobby. His feet carried him straight to the reception desk.

"Good morning, how can I help?" The receptionist smiled. A small woman with a baby face.

"We have a reservation." Izaya smiled tugging the cap down. He missed his coat. He missed the black of his attire.

"Name?"

"Mikado Ryugamine." Izaya answered smoothly before Mikado could. The woman began typing then broke into a beaming smile.

"You came." She whispered elated. "Shizu-kun will be so happy. This way."

The woman bounced around the desk. "Shizu-kun?" Surely the brute hadn't been stupid enough to use his real name.

"Oh. Sorry, he wouldn't give me his name so I play this game to guess his name. But he's quiet so I call him Shizu-kun. It's short for Shizukani."

Izaya nodded. It looked like the protozoan was here after all. "You were the one on the phone?"

"Shh!" The woman pressed a finger to her lips looking around. "I'll get in trouble."

"What do you mean?" Mikado asked poking around his side.

"I- it doesn't matter. Follow me." The woman charged on ahead leaving no room for conversation. They walked past the gym and through to a set of double doors. Through the glass he could see a swimming pool.

Izaya tensed as she opened the door, bustling inside. She grabbed a folded towel from the trolley conveniently parked by the door.

"Shizu-kun!" She called out. Izaya looked at the pool seeing a lone figure powering through the water. He wasn't facing them, going in the opposite direction. Izaya stared in disbelief. Mikado had been right.

Izaya watched the brute reach the end and touching the wall. His hair was a light brown, his eyes were covered with swimming goggles and as he rose from the water slightly, Izaya spotted something that looked suspiciously like bandages and cling film.

Oblivious to their presence, the blonde dove forward with a splash, bringing his arms forward. His head turned side to side as he swam, muscles flexing. Halfway the brute stopped, head snapping up. Izaya shivered feeling their eyes meet.

Then suddenly their old lover was at the end of the pool, pulling himself out of the water. The woman held out the towel but it was ignored. Izaya was blinded by a smile that made his heart ache. Before he could utter a word, the goggles were tossed at the poolside. The full extend of Shizuo's chocolate gaze hit him like cupid's arrow. He didn't care that his shoulders were wet, the pool water seeping through his clothes.

Izaya's stomach twisted into knots, inhaling the man's scent. Strong arms trembled around him, a hot mouth pressed against his own as desperate as he was. Izaya kissed back allowing himself to be pushed against the wall.

Skill be damned, Izaya wrapped his legs around Shizuo's waist using the brute to hold himself up. His fingers curled into damp locks. It was hot, needy, desperate and as far from control as he could be. He wanted to taste the brute, to devour him. Desire flared within him wanting to keep the man for himself, to lock him away so no one else could touch him. Because he wouldn't let him go. Not ever. Twice he had been foolish and twice he had dealt with the shattering of his own heart. No more. Izaya held firm breaking the kiss, his teeth drew a jagged line along his lover's jaw. His hands moved down to grab firm buttocks, the swim trunks defining his shape.

"Get a room." Kanra yelled happily. Izaya blinked looking over Shizuo's shoulder. Mikado stood blushing, looking envious. The woman looked caught between shock and horror.

"Oh." Izaya felt his cheeks redden. Quickly he swiped a towel from the trolley, thrusting it into the bandaged chest. "You got me wet, protozoan!" Pushing himself away he went to stand by Mikado, who dare to smirk at him.

"Wipe that look off your face." He glowered watching the half naked protozoan wrap the towel around his waist.

The woman blinked shaking her head. "I-I'll go and get your room key." She flew through the door leaving it swinging behind her.

All three of them stared at one another. Shizuo was happy to see them. He was like an excited puppy greeting his master home. "You're here." Shizuo and Mikado said at the same time.

"Maybe we should take this to the room." Izaya suggested watching droplets of water fall from damp hair.

"Ah, yeah. I'll show you to your room."

x-x-x

Mikado felt like he would burst from happiness. Shizuo was right in front of him leading them to their room. The receptionist didn't need to give them a keycard, Shizuo already had it. They were on the top floor, with a spectacular view. Mikado noticed a pile of clothes on the bed. Shizuo picked them up shrugging off the towel. "I thought you weren't coming."

Mikado opened his mouth but Izaya shook his head. They'd been wrong. It wasn't Shizuo that had misled them. Their old lover had been waiting patiently for their supposed arrival without knowing they hadn't been told a single thing.

"It's been a week." Shizuo continued clenching his fists. "I didn't know what had happened to you. I thought about going back to Ikebukuro to check if you were in trouble."

"We're here now, Shizu-chan." Izaya closed the door hearing the lock click. Mikado stood by the bed waiting patiently. "That's all that matters."

"Like hell it is. Where the fuck were you?" Shizuo growled. "Do you have any idea how worried I was?"

"Shizu-chan, enough." Mikado sighed watching Izaya step in close sealing Shizuo's mouth.

"That's not-"

"We were at my parent's house." Mikado told the truth. "My mother was the one that drove us out of Ikebukuro. We've been staying in Saitama."

"Oh." Shizuo sighed dropping down on the bed, head in his hands. "Guess your mother worried. Sorry I just- I need to take a shower." Shizuo stood heading towards the door.

"Shizu-chan, why don't you use ours?" Izaya reached for Shizuo but he moved away.

"...Kasuka will be wondering where I am." Mikado grit his teeth watching Shizuo unlock the door, holding the bundle of clothes against him. The door closed leaving them alone. Everything had been going so well.

"Why? Why didn't you want me to tell him the truth?"

"Because it would destroy him." Izaya answered. "He trusts his brother wholeheartedly. If we told him Kasuka gave us a fake address, he'd be forced to choose. Shizu-chan has already lost everyone he loves. He can't lose Kasuka."

"What about us?" Kanra demanded. Despite him wearing a dress and a sweater, his counterpart was docile and on her best behaviour. "He still loves us. You saw it."

"Felt it actually." Izaya sighed. "We have to tread carefully. I'm hoping Kasuka sees sense and doesn't force Shizu-chan to choose."

Mikado shook his head. First Masaomi, then Shiki and now Kasuka. For one reason or another they had tried to break them up. He couldn't allow that. "What do we do?"

Izaya groaned. "I think I have to get Kasuka to forgive me. If he doesn't we lose Shizu-chan."

x-x-x

"Nii-san, you're back." Kasuka looked up surprised. He wasn't usually back this early. The first day he had been on his best behaviour, dutifully laying in bed to rest. He'd slept on and off throughout the day and with nothing to hinder his injury, his recovery went as smoothly as it could.

On the second day, Shizuo had taken a leisurely walk around the hotel finding his way around. He stayed away from the gym, since he couldn't allow himself to accidentally use his strength. So he'd done the next best thing to help relieve his stress. Swimming.

As the week had progressed, Shizuo had slipped into a routine. He'd been waking up early to stare out of the window wondering if the duo were looking out at the same sky. At nine o'clock he'd go down to reception and ask if Izaya and Mikado had arrived.

The answer had always been no. So he'd get his breakfast and sit by the window closet to the entrance. After breakfast he'd sit in silence waiting with a glass of milk. Shizuo got frustrated easily so he'd vent in the pool. He swam length after length everyday.

Once he was calm enough, he'd return to reception and ask the same question. It was a no. After that Shizuo had spent hours sitting in view of the lobby. Sometimes pacing, sometimes sitting like a statue. As the week had progressed, he'd spent barely any time in their room.

Nothing had changed. Except today. The seventh day and the deadline. Shizuo had been in disbelief scenting Izaya. He'd thought he was dreaming. As soon as he'd realised he wasn't, Shizuo had been overwhelmed by raw primal desire. It could have been Mikado he'd attacked but it was Izaya's scent that had ensnared him.

Shizuo remembered being unable to stop. He'd been so relieved when Izaya hadn't pushed him away. He couldn't bring himself to kiss Mikado. Not yet. The teen needed to confirm what he wanted. He wasn't like Izaya and himself. Things just weren't that simple. They were here. The two of them looking well despite what had happened. Mikado was wearing a thin layer of makeup but he could tell there were dark circles around his eyes.

"I packed your bag for you." His brother told him. "It's been seven days. You promised, nii-san."

I know. They're here. Both of them turned up this morning." Shizuo couldn't seem to stop smiling.

"Nii-san, I know you want to believe they'll come but-"

"I'll show you." Shizuo took his brother's wrist gently pulling him from the room. Down the hall he knocked on the other door. Izaya answered.

"Shizu-chan, you're back." The raven looked past him at his brother. "Was there something-"

"See. We don't need to leave." Shizuo looked back at his brother with a smile. They'd cut it pretty damn close but Izaya and Mikado had made it.

"I see." Kasuka walked back to their room. Shizuo followed closing the door. Still carrying the bundle he headed for the bathroom peeling off his swim trunks. Things were finally looking up.


	38. The fifth wheel

**The fifth wheel**

Mikado regretted opening the door almost immediately. He'd been left alone in the hotel room and now with Kasuka. "Good morning." The teen smiled uneasily. "Izaya isn't here."

"I know." Kasuka answered deadpan. "It's you I'm here to see."

Not wanting to be rude or ruin Izaya's plans, Mikado held back Kanra and let his brother in law in. It felt strange that he and Kasuka were technically related. "We don't have much, I think we have a couple of tea bags-"

"I'm not staying." Kasuka stood over him, eyes filled with nothing. He couldn't begin to fathom the retired actor's thoughts. "How much?"

Mikado blinked in confusion. "Sorry?"

"How much for you to disappear?"

Mikado's heart sank. Kasuka was trying to buy him off. It pretty much summed up how the rest of the day would go.

x-x-x

Old habits were hard to break and so were new ones only a week old. Shizuo woke up early, showering quickly and wrapping his torso so the telltale scars couldn't be seen. Making his way to the lobby he caught himself avoiding the reception desk.

Mikado and Izaya were back. There was no need to be on lookout for them. The woman behind the desk smiled giving him a small wave. The least he could do was remember her name since she had brought them together.

"Good morning." Izaya greeted resting a hand on his shoulder. "You're up early."

"So are you. Mikado isn't with you?"

"I left them asleep. It's the first decent nights sleep he's had since you know what."

"Them? You're referring to Kanra?" Shizuo asked leading them to the food area.

"Yeah. You've got to acknowledge her sometime, Shi-"

Shizuo sighed. Since he'd only been a customer, he didn't need to give a name. The receptionist thought he was a hired bodyguard for the retired actor Yuuhei Hanejima. He'd need to pick a name for himself soon.

"Listen, I'm sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have done that."

Izaya narrowed his eyes. "Please tell me you're referring to leaving our room."

"You know what I mean."

"Are you still going on with this crap?" Shizuo flinches surprised at Izaya's tone. "What happened to the new start? _That _wasn't a mistake. Far from it."

"Keep your voice down." Shizuo warned seeing they were starting to garner attention. "You should get back to your room."

Izaya reached for him as he went to stand. "What happened? You were happy to see us yesterday. Why the change of heart?"

Shizuo looked away feeling his appetite go. "I- doesn't matter. You and the kid should go."

"We're not going anywhere." The flea promised taking his hand. "Let's sit down and talk about this."

"I thought that's what we were doing?" Shizuo sighed snatching his hand away.

"Ah but you're doing it wrong. You're not listening or being honest."

"You want me to be honest?" Shizuo asked quietly. "How about you tell me the truth?"

"What truth?" Izaya asked.

"Yesterday. You lied to me."

"What do mean?" Shizuo closed his eyes hearing the minute pause. Anyone else wouldn't have noticed it. However he was used to Izaya's lies and manipulation. He knew every single one of the flea's tricks and right now things stank.

"You told me you were at Mikado's parents."

"We were. Anyway Mikado told you that. I didn't lie to you."

"Then why do you stink?" Shizuo pushed his untouched plate away.

"Hey. I showered this morning."

"See you around, flea." Shizuo shook his head in either disappointment or disgust. It was hard to tell at the moment.

x-x-x

"Shit." Izaya cursed resisting the urge to slam his fists on the table. He'd forgotten about the protozoan's sharp instincts. Though it was true he hadn't lied, Izaya hadn't exactly been truthful in their circumstances and the protozoan could sense that.

By covering up Kasuka's betrayal, he had set them up in a bad light. The already fragile trust was breaking down and it was his decision that had caused it. With a sigh, Izaya pushed himself up taking Mikado's breakfast.

He took the stairs to save time. Swiping the key card across the lock, Izaya pushed open the door caught in the middle of an argument. Kanra and Mikado were at it again. The teen looked like he was talking to himself.

"I don't see why you didn't let me cut him." That was Kanra. It was easy to distinguish them. Kanra was more assertive, like a sharpened blade. That didn't make Mikado any less dangerous though.

"Because we can't hurt him." Mikado had his fists clenched, a bitter bite to his words. "You heard what Izaya said."

"Screw Izaya-nii. This isn't going to go smoothly." Izaya raised a brow stepping into the room.

"Did I miss something?"

Mikado turned quickly looking guilty, probably on Kanra's behalf. "Um-"

"You missed something alright." Kanra cried pointing an accusing finger. "That guy just tried to buy us off. 'How much for you disappear?' What kind of question is that?"

Izaya checked the door was locked, setting the plate down on the bed. "Breakfast. Don't let Kasuka get to you."

Mikado ate ravenously. Izaya sat back watching his younger lover. "What?" The teen asked with a blush across his cheeks.

"Shizu-chan knows there's something we're not telling him. We met at breakfast. He's a bit cold this morning."

"Oh. Shouldn't you be trying to warm him up then?" Kanra suggested.

Izaya grinned. "I was just about to do that. Are you two going to be okay?"

"Fantastic." Kanra dead panned. "Even better if you let me threaten Kasuka a little."

"No. We have to be smart about it."

"We'll be fine, Izaya." Mikado sighed.

x-x-x

Shizuo knew the moment Izaya had joined him. The raven was sitting at the pool side watching him swim another length. Changing direction he cut across the water, swimming the length to Izaya.

"Still here?"

"You didn't ignore me." Izaya said instead. "You're wrapped in cling film again."

"Can't exactly show off my scars." Shizuo shrugged. "Did you want something?"

"I didn't lie to you,Shi-" Izaya shook his head looking around. They were still alone. "But I did omit something."

Shizuo moved closer, standing in the pool with his arms folded on the edge. "Go on."

"Everything went smoothly. Mikado's mother took us to Saitama. We wanted to come and see you as soon as possible."

"Then why didn't you?" Shizuo asked quietly. He'd thought he'd been abandoned.

"Because we couldn't get hold of you. Mikado called you every morning and every night but we didn't get a response. We weren't sure whether you'd changed your mind or not. It was only yesterday that we received a call from this hotel. Mikado wanted to come as soon as possible."

Shizuo tilted his head. Izaya wasn't lying but the slight scent was still there. "I didn't receive any calls."

"Maybe it was Kasuka's phone then." The raven murmured.

"What aren't you telling me?" Shizuo pressed resting a hand on Izaya's knee. The raven smiled at the gesture.

"This past week has been hel. We didn't know what was happening. Mikado became depressed. His mother thought you'd run off and weren't coming back."

"I'd never-"

"We know that." Izaya said quickly. "As soon as we saw your _reaction _yesterday, we knew the truth. Just when you come back to Saitama with us, be prepared for a frosty reception."

Shizuo drew in a harsh intake of breath, resting his head on his hand. Izaya stroked his damp hair. "I missed you."

"I know. We did too."

"I thought you weren't coming."

"Miscommunication. We're here now."

Shizuo smiled closing his eyes. His body felt lighter. "Yeah. I love you. You know that, right?"

Above him the flea chuckled. "I love you too. How much longer are you going to stay in there?"

"Dunno. Calms me down."

"We have to discuss some things. Those swimming trunks are distracting."

"Let me get out first." Shizuo blushed suddenly feeling self conscious.

x-x-x

"Nii-san, you're back." Kasuka walked over to him as he walked through the door.

"Yeah. I'm just gonna grab a few things."

"Where are you going?"

"To talk to them. By the way-" Shizuo cut himself off. He didn't know why he didn't ask Kasuka about the messages. He'd have to do something about it on his own.

"Nii-san, I think you should be careful. I don't trust them."

Shizuo nodded unable to push aside his brother's reservations. "I'm just going to listen to what they have to say. I'll be back soon."

"Nii-san, I don't want you to get hurt." Shizuo smiled ruffling his brother's hair.

"Sometimes I forget I'm the big brother. I'm supposed to be looking after you."

"Then don't go!"

x-x-x

Mikado paced nervously around the room waiting for the knock at the door. Izaya had come back after his second trip, positive. The misunderstanding had been worked out, Shizuo would be coming to discuss their future.

Five minutes was acceptable. It was enough time to shower and walk the short distance to their door. Ten minutes was normal. It was enough time to have a quick bath. But it had been an hour.

"He's not coming." Mikado muttered glancing at the door.

"Give him time." Izaya replied.

"It's been an hour!" Kanra added.

"Give him time." Izaya repeated.

"How much-" there was a knock at the door.

"One hour apparently." Izaya put the laptop to one side. "Aren't you going to let him in?"

Mikado retreated to window. Izaya shook his head with a teasing smile.

"Hey." He heard Izaya say. Shizuo walked into the room looking nervous in his black jeans, white tee and damp hair flopped down unstyled. Mikado relaxed at the sight. Shizuo's eyes met his before quickly looking away.

"Coward." Kanra jeered quietly.

"Shut up." Mikado whispered chewing at his lip. Clenching his fists, he walked across the span of the room. When he reached Shizuo, Mikado stared at him, Shizuo stared back. Izaya moved out of the way, standing guard at the door.

Making the final step, Mikado wrapped his arms around the man. Shizuo flinched but responded. Mikado smiled in their embrace. "I missed you."

"Nn."

"You look good, Shizu-chan." Mikado tugged forward a little needing Shizuo further away from the door.

"You look like shit."

"Sleepless nights will do that." Izaya's smiling but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. There's a dark emptiness ripe with suspicion.

"...right."

Mikado knows something has happened. Within that hour, Shizuo has been back in his hotel room with Kasuka.

"Shizuo, could you show me around?" Mikado asks taking a step back. His hands clutch at Shizuo's biceps.

"Can't the flea-"

"We can all go." Izaya grinned. "It'll be nice to get out."

"Sure." Shizuo agreed. Mikado shared a worried glance with Izaya. "Was that all?"

"Yeah." Izaya shrugged. "For now. I'm still working on our identities."

"I'm going to go for another swim. Let me know when you want to go."

The moment Shizuo left, Mikado turned to Izaya expecting an answer. "Think about where you want to go. I have work to do."

Kanra laughed at his foolishness.

x-x-x

Shizuo felt sick. Holding a hand over his pocket, he walked to the elevator taking it down to the ground floor. The receptionist wasn't at her desk. It took a while for him to find some peace and quiet. As it turned out in the gym. He listened to the force against the punching back.

Shizuo didn't like violence but the sound coursed adrenaline through his body. Taking a seat on the weight bench, he dug out the phone he had stolen from his brother. It was a new cheap one that could be disposed off.

It wasn't even turned on. Shizuo thought the battery might be dead. That was until the start up screen played and then he was looking at a small symbol, stating fourteen voice messages. Izaya had been telling the truth. But he had known that all along. As soon as he had seen the duo's shocked faces at the swimming pool. Since Izaya had reciprocated their moment of madness, he had known they hadn't waited. They'd been delayed.

Typical flea had tried to be sneaky and cover it up. Shizuo knew. His brother's words of desperation, the guilt trips. It was all so he wouldn't go back. If he hadn't stood his ground for the past week, it was almost certain they wouldn't have seen each other again.

_"We're at Mikado's parents. We'll be coming tomorrow. Goodnight Shizu-chan...Goodnight Shizuo."_

Shizuo skipped to the next message. Both Izaya and Mikado sounded happy.

_"Good morning, Shizu-chan...Morning Shizuo. We're leaving after breakfast. See you soon."_

They'd come. They'd gone after him as planned. Shizuo stared at the phone. He wasn't sure he wanted to listen to the next message. He knew who it would implicate.

_"Shizu-chan." _Izaya. He sounded angry and hurt. _"Where are you? Why aren't you answering your phone? We came to get you but you'd already gone. Did you change you're mind? I thought we talked about this. Call me back."_

"I'm sorry." Shizuo murmured. He had no idea if they'd even been led to the correct place. Why hadn't he risked confronting Izaya one last time to give him the details?

_"Shizuo." _Mikado. The teen sounded upset. _"Are you mad? Do you hate us now? Are you even taking the time to listen to this? Izaya received his money back. Can't you speak to us? Please call me back."_

"I didn't know." Shizuo hung his head. "I didn't fucking know." But the messages weren't finished and neither was the damage to his heart.

_"Shizu-chan, you're not coming back, are you?" _Izaya again, sounding torn up. Bitterness tinged his words, crisp over the speaker. _"Always a protozoan, running away like a coward...shit. Just let me-us know you're alright."_

"I was missing you, idiot." Shizuo whispered closing his eyes. Kasuka. His brother had kept this from him. After everything they'd been through, his brother had become the last obstacle in their path.

"Hey, you using that bench or what?" Shizuo got up leaving the gym. His feet gravitated him towards the exit. Outside he was buffeted by a cold chill.

_"Shizuo, are you alright?" _Mikado. Voice rushed and full of panic. His breathing was harsh bordering on hysteria. _"You made it out of Ikebukuro, didn't you? I- could you let me know you're safe? P-please? I keep having dreams- nightmares. I know it wasn't real but- please...I need you...Mikado? What are you doing out here agai-"_

_"Shizu-chan." _Izaya. Sounding tired. _"You know things aren't so good here. Mikado's mother thinks the worst. It's hard to not say anything back. I can't make excuses for you, not when I don't know if you're coming back."_

_"Shizuo." _Mikado. Or not. _"Hey, it's Kanra. I know you don't want to hear from me but Izaya and Mikado need you. I mean seriously, all he does is mope around. You'd think someone died or something. Get over here before they move on. They won't wait forever."_

Shizuo leaned against the outer wall, trying to remember how to breathe. It wasn't his fault but he felt like he had betrayed them with every day that he wasn't there. Unable to take any more he forwarded onto the last two messages.

_"Shizuo." _Mikado. His voice was hurried, containing something different to the panic and hurt. _"A woman just called. She said we have a room at a hotel. It's you right? It's a message to let us know where you are? We're coming."_

_"Shizu-chan." _Izaya. He sounded subdued. _"Mikado believes in you. It's been seven days and still no word. One last shot. After this we're leaving. Shizu-chan, I love you. You know that, right?"_

Shizuo slumped, using the wall to keep himself upright. His stomach churned violently. His fists clenched as adrenaline fast tracked though his body. His vision blurred, ears filled with the sound of cracking glass.

"Shizu-kun?"

x-x-x

Izaya opened the door expecting to see Shizuo. He was left sorely disappointed. It was a Heiwajima but the wrong one. "Kasuka-kun."

"Have you seen nii-san?"

"Not since breakfast." Izaya shrugged.

"I don't believe you." Kasuka tried to push past him but Izaya stood firm. "You won't take nii-san away from me."

"There's no chance of settling this peacefully?"

"I've tried that already."

Izaya nodded. "If that's what you call trying to pay off Mikado. I can see why Shi- never had a boyfriend or girlfriend before us."

"You know nothing." Kasuka hissed. Izaya watched the spark of hatred flare in usually dead eyes.

"I know your actions are hurting him." Izaya scowled.

"You did that with your arrival here." Kasuka snarled so much like his brother, Izaya had to wonder if the retired actor would pick him up and throw him.

"About that," Kanra asked behind him, her arms around his waist, head on his shoulder. "Why book a room in Mikado's name? Why not leave things alone?"

Kasuka didn't answer. Izaya sighed. "Because he had no choice. Is that all?"

"Stay away from nii-san."

"Boring. You really are like a dead fish, Kasuka-kun. Let go of your brother complex." Izaya yawned moving to close the door. Kasuka's fist sailed towards him, but Mikado pulled him back by his shoulders. With a grin he closed the door, hearing a crack against the wood.

Mikado released him in favour for the phone. Izaya turned the lock on the door ignoring the pounding outside. If Kasuka was playing deaf then so could he.

"Izaya, it's a woman. She says she wants to speak to...Izaya Orihara." Mikado looked pale. Izaya felt his blood turn to ice in his veins.

"That's not possible." He murmured in shock. Taking the phone from Mikado, Izaya held it to his ear. "Hello?"

_"Izaya Orihara?"_

"Who's asking?"

_"Do you want to see Shizuo Heiwajima or not?"_

Izaya gasped. "What did you do to Shizu-chan?"

_"Room 256." _The call cut before he could respond.

"Izaya?" Tossing the phone down, Izaya ran from the room.

"Stay here." He ordered closing the door. Sprinting down the hall, Izaya made it to the elevator, quickly scanning the buttons for the one he would need. The doors weren't closing fast enough for his liking. Impatiently he pressed the same button.

The doors slid closed, the lift descending towards the unknown. Izaya patted down his pockets. No weapons, no plan. Wringing his hands together he paced nervously. Why now? They had been free. What had gone wrong?

On the correct floor the doors opened and Izaya breezed down the hall, glancing at the descending numbers. At 256 he slammed his shoulder against the door. Rearing back he slammed against it a second time, only to fall further forward than he thought.

"That was quick." The receptionist smiled.

"You? Where's Shizu-chan?" Izaya demanded lunging for her. If it was one woman he could take her.

"Oi, flea. What the hell are you doing?" Shizuo asked staring down at him.

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya composed himself feeling like a fool. "I could ask you the same thing."

"Ahahaha, I was right." The receptionist grinned clapping her hands. "After I saw what you did to the window, I knew."

"What you did?" Izaya looked to Shizuo's bandaged hand. "You used your strength?"

"Yeah. Sorry."

Izaya sighed walking to the phone. Dialling the room number he picked up the receiver. _"Hello?"_

"Everything's fine. We'll be back soon."

_"Really?"_

"Really. Stop worrying." Izaya hung up to the call. Shizuo was sitting guiltily on the bed. "What did you do, protozoan?"

"Don't worry, I reported that a couple of kids threw a stone through the window. It was at the side entrance. No one saw."

"What do you want?" Izaya moved protectively to the bed.

"Nothing. Shizu-kun is my friend."

"He doesn't even know your name." Izaya reasoned. "Shizu-chan, what made you so angry?"

"Sorry, I have to get back. I'll get in trouble with my boss." Izaya's gaze flicked to her closing the door.

"Sorry." Shizuo murmured slumping against him.

"It's okay, Shizu-chan. It doesn't look like she'll tell anyone." Izaya cooed bringing the brute's head to his shoulder. Shizuo's fist opened, bits of cracked silver trickling through the gaps of his fingers.

It wasn't glass. Izaya realised making out the crushed components. It was the shattered pieces of a phone. "I'm sorry."

Izaya closed his eyes kissing Shizuo's cheek. "You have nothing to be sorry for, protozoan. Come on, Mikado and Kanra will be worried."

"Flea?"

"Hm? What is it?" Izaya asked in quiet soothing tones.

"Do you have anyone left?"

"I have you, Mikado and Kanra."

"No one else?"

Izaya smiled sadly briefly thinking of Shinra. "No. I've made my decision. The three of you are all I need."

"...I see." Shizuo whispered falling silent.

x-x-x

Mikado jumped up seeing the door open. Izaya and Shizuo walked in safe and sound. "Where have-" Izaya shook his head, pressing a finger to his lips.

"I suppose we should get something to eat. Room service?"

Mikado shook his head. "I want to eat out. It's boring being cooped up in here. Sorry."

"Lunch it is. Shizu-chan?"

"Hm?"

"Lunch?"

"Oh. Yeah." Shizuo answered looking distracted. His eyes kept taking on a far away look.

"Great. Let's go." Izaya grinned holding the door open for them.

"Nii-san! There you are." Kasuka. Mikado held Kanra back standing behind Shizuo. "Do you want to get lunch together?"

"I've already agreed to have lunch with these two." Shizuo answered quietly not looking at his brother.

"Oh. I'll join you." Kasuka fell in step with them as they left. "Nii-san, are you hungry?"

Mikado glanced over at Shizuo noticing he hadn't answered. It was like walking next to a sleepwalker. His hand was gently knocked away by Izaya. The raven shook his head in warning.

"Nii-san, where have you been all morning?"

Mikado winced at the pained silence. Kasuka kept talking, asking pointless questions. Every single one was ignored.

"Um, tonight could we possibly go up to the observatory in Tokyo tower? I want to see what it's like at night." Mikado asked quietly.

"Sounds good." Izaya shrugged.

"...sure." Shizuo said sounding emotionless. "Not too late though."

Mikado shared a worried glance with Izaya. The raven shook his head, resting a hand on his shoulder.


	39. Say my name

**Say my name **

_A/N:- Last chapter._

Lunch was uncomfortable. Mikado wanted to leave before they'd even left the hotel. It was supposed to be the four of them and then Kasuka had forcibly joined them. He wasn't sure what was worse, the animosity between Izaya and the retired actor or the dreadful silence between Shizuo and Kasuka. The heavy atmosphere weighed upon his shoulders, sealing his mouth shut. A sense of powerlessness swept over him watching the others. It was choking. Mikado shuddered keeping his hands in a vice grip on the table edge.

His gaze fell to Shizuo's bandaged hand. Another injury. He'd used his strength. The one thing that would give them away. There was no one like the fortissimo. Shizuo was sitting in silence staring blankly at the menu in front of them. Izaya and Kasuka were glaring daggers at one another but the raven was smiling and Kasuka's face was stone. Mikado looked down at the menu, moving to pick it up. His fingers brushed it too far forward sending it skittering under the table.

"Mikado?" Izaya looked at him. Mikado took in a few precious shuddering breaths. "Everything okay?"

"T-toilet." He croaked sliding from his seat. His eyes scammed the outer room for the men's toilets, his feet carried him away from the oppressive table.

Hurrying through the doors, the teen ran forward bending over the sink. Forcing his head up he looked in the mirror at his reflection. Kanra stared back just as uneasy.

"Why didn't you try to help?" Mikado asked feeling drained.

"In that? You've gotta be kidding." Kanra gasped. "What the hell happened?"

"I don't know. We knew Kasuka wouldn't like us but what happened to Shizuo?"

"Why don't we ask Izaya-nii?"

"When we're alone." Mikado cringed at the thought of rejoining them. He was out of his league. "Maybe we should go back to the hotel. This isn't the place for us."

"We can't leave Izaya alone to fight for Shizuo."

"Mikado?" The door opened and in walked Shizuo. "You okay?"

"Nn." Mikado nodded. The two of them hadn't been alone. Not like him and Izaya.

"Of course not," Kanra snapped. "Don't you feel how suffocating it is out there?"

"Kanra." Mikado hissed.

"...she's right." Shizuo said quietly. "Sorry. I'll take you back to the hotel."

Mikado felt weak. He stared at Shizuo's held out hand. "I don't want to go back. Maybe we could go for a walk instead?"

"Now isn't really a good time."

Mikado hung his head.

"Mikado...Kanra, I'll be your shield. Stay for lunch. You can sit next to me."

"Shi-"

"Shh." Shizuo glanced at the open cubicles. "No names. Not even when you think you're alone."

Mikado nodded guilty. He should have thought about that. "What do I call you then?"

"Whatever you want." Shizuo shrugged.

"...okay. Did something happen?"

Shizuo's eyes were shrouded in shadow, his bangs down, mouth set in a pained line. "I heard you."

"Heard me?" Mikado asked oblivious. He hadn't said anything bad about Shizuo.

"Yeah. I need to think some stuff through." Shizuo left the bathroom and Mikado trailed behind him.

When they reached the table, Izaya and Kasuka were still shooting daggers and trying to kill each other in their minds. Shizuo sat down, patting the seat beside him. In their booth Kasuka now sat alone.

"Nii-san?"

"Has anyone ordered?" Shizuo asked.

"Nope." Izaya leaned back slightly more relaxed. "Let's see."

Mikado glanced over his own menu. Shizuo took his hand giving it a soft squeeze. "How did you sleep last night?"

"Like a baby." Izaya grinned. "He curled up on the bed and stayed asleep until morning."

"No nightmares?"

Mikado smiled. "None."

x-x-x

Hatred was a powerful tool but so was indifference. Izaya watched over his lovers, satisfied Shizuo and Mikado's hands were joined. Kasuka was stewing across the table, he couldn't place himself next to his brother now that Shizuo was sitting between him and the teen.

Around him he could hear the sound of something breaking. Kasuka would lose his brother because of his lies. He hated what the decision would do to the protozoan but it didn't look like there would be another way. To be together they'd had to make sacrifices, discarding everything they knew and loved. They had each other. As long as they had that bond, everything would be fine.

"Nii-san, what do you want to order?"

"Whatever."

Izaya frowned flicking through the dessert menu. "Shizu-chan, why don't you go back to the hotel? Mikado and I can order the food and bring it back."

"That's-yeah. Your room?"

"See you there." Izaya smiled reaching to pat his hand.

Mikado slid from the booth, standing to let Shizuo past. "Nii-san, I'll come too."

Izaya watched them go. His fists clenched. "What happened?" Mikado asked sitting next to him.

"Shi- he's gone to say goodbye to Kasuka."

"He made his choice?"

"No. Kasuka made it." Izaya sighed. "Our protozoan fell into an old habit after finding a certain device with our sentiments."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Oh."

x-x-x

"Nii-san, wait up." Kasuka called running after him. Shizuo kept walking his fists stuffed in his pockets. It wasn't until they reached their hotel room that he sat on the bed, he'd been sleeping in for the past week and looked at his brother.

"I'm not your brother." He said softly.

"Nii-san, whatever those two said about me, they're-"

"I found the phone." Shizuo interrupted. "You saw how much I was hurting. You knew everyday I sat waiting for them. You kept their messages from me."

"Nii-san-"

"You gave them the wrong address!" Shizuo shook his head. "This entire week has been hell."

"I was protecting you." Kasuka said. "They hurt you. They were going to do it again."

"No, Kasuka. The only one that hurt me was you. I thought I'd been abandoned. I'm never going to be able to make this up to them. Mikado suffered through nightmares." Shizuo hung his head. "Why would you try and ruin my happiness?"

"I need you, nii-san."

"No, you don't. I'm not your brother, Kasuka. Shizuo Heiwajima died back in Ikebukuro."

"That was-"

"I don't know who I am yet but I'm not your brother. Not any more."

"You don't mean that!" Kasuka cried crumbling at his knees. Shizuo stared down at him. "I love you, nii-san. Please stay with me. If it's about those two-"

"It's not. The flea has lost everything. He's given everything up to be with us. I have to do the same."

"No!" Kasuka shook his head, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Don't leave me. I don't have anyone else either."

"Yes, you do." Shizuo said softly swiping his thumb against Kasuka's cheek. "You have your identity. You have your life and our connections back in Ikebukuro. Go home, Kasuka. Mourn me like the rest and live your own life."

"Nii-san, please." Kasuka begged clutching his leg.

"Let me go, Kasuka. You shouldn't be holding onto a ghost." Shizuo swallowed past the lump in his throat.

"You're still my-"

"I'm not." Shizuo smoothed back Kasuka's bangs, placing a kiss against his forehead. "Goodbye, little brother." Shizuo stood up prying Kasuka away from him. He managed to make it from the room before breaking. Taking the card key from his pocket he made it to Izaya and Mikado's room before crumbling to the floor overwhelmed with grief.

x-x-x

Mikado found Shizuo on the floor. He opened the door rushing to the man's side. "Shizuo?" Izaya followed in setting the bag down.

"Help me get him on the bed." Izaya closed the door, crouching to lift the unconscious Shizuo. Mikado helped as much as he could, the two of them lowering him onto the bed. Izaya pulled the covers out from underneath him, resting them on top.

"It's done?" Mikado asked quietly.

"Looks like it." Izaya answered looking worried. "Leave him sleep."

Mikado nodded dividing their food up. He left Shizuo's wrapped on the bedside table. Izaya sat cross legged on the bed, laptop in hand.

"Izaya, do Kanra and I need to change our names too?"

"No. You two can stay as you are." Izaya said without looking up.

"Why is it taking so long?" Mikado asked curiously.

"I have to build a background. If anyone gets curious and starts digging, they'll need a trail. We can't just pop up out of existence."

"So it's not just choosing a name?"

"That's the easy part. The hard part is giving the name life." Izaya explained. "In high school classmates know each other by their surnames. I've picked a school and a class for both of us."

"But you'd have to have the same surname?" Mikado asked.

"Right. That's why I've researched the most common names. Shizu-chan was one of three in his class and eleventh in the whole school. There's probably more but I don't need to go that far. I'm one of two and sixth in the whole school."

"I get it. You're hiding in plain sight."

"Yeah. Mikado, you don't need to change your first name but your last name-"

"Needs to change." Kanra finished. "Me too, right?"

"Yeah. That is if you are separate to each other." Izaya watched them.

"We're separate." Mikado confirmed.

"Totally separate."

"Okay. It would be weird if all four of us had the same name. So we'll do it as two married couples living together."

"Is that possible?" Mikado asked. "My mother is going to have a fit if she finds out I'm married."

"You're not. Kanra is. We'll get married at a later date. That way your mother can see her only child walk down the aisle."

"And maybe she won't hate Shizuo any more." Mikado smiled.

"Hopefully. Kanra your name is now Kanra Sato."

"Sato? What's Shizuo's name?" Kanra asked.

"Yuki Sato." Izaya grinned.

Mikado looked back at Shizuo's sleeping face. "What's yours?" He asked dreading the answer.

"Ren Suzuki."

"So I'll be Mikado Suzuki." Mikado murmured.

"Yep. I'll buy you a ring later."

x-x-x

"Yuki-chan." Shizuo opened his eyes seeing Izaya laying on top of him, head rested on his folded arms. "Good evening, Yuki-chan. That was a long sleep."

Shizuo registered the name. "Oh hell no."

"Yep," the flea grinned. "Your new name is Yuki Sato."

"Do I look like a Yuki to you? Where the hell did you pull that name from?"

"A list of the most popular boys names in Japan. I think it's cute."

"I'm not cute. Pick another."

"Nope." Izaya backed away. "Hurry and eat something. Your lunch got cold. The sun is setting so we're going to the observatory soon."

Shizuo grumbled sitting up. "What do I call you then?"

"Ren Suzuki."

"Huh."

Izaya frowned. "What?"

"It's surprisingly normal."

"It has to be." Shizuo nodded.

x-x-x

Shizuo stood at the reception desk. The receptionist smiled. "I'm afraid your brother checked out an hour ago."

"Right." Of course he had. Kasuka had listened to him. "We'll be leaving tomorrow." Shizuo sighed. "And my name is Y-Yuki Sato."

"Ah, I guessed completely wrong." The receptionist smiled. "I'm Eva Wakaba."

Shizuo nodded. "I'll remember it."

"I'd be honoured." Eva smiled. "Your boyfriends are waiting."

"Yu-ki-chan~" Izaya's voice called out.

Shizuo grit his teeth together. "I'm going to kill him."

"Yu-ki-chan~"

Shizuo lowered his head cutting across the reception to the door. His cheeks flared. Behind him he could hear Izaya's laughter.

"Shut up, Iz-"

"Ah ah ah." Izaya chided pressing a finger against his lips. "It's Ren-kun. You can say that, can't you? Get used to it Yuki-chan, it's who we are now."

Shizuo sighed. "This is my punishment, right?"

"What would we punish you for, Yuki-chan?" Izaya shrugged. "Come on. Mikado has been waiting patiently to see this."

"Um, Y-Yuki. Are you okay?"

Shizuo deflated. He hadn't thought Izaya's name calling could get much worse. "Not really."

"Relax, it's just a name. Ren-nii named me and now he's named you." Kanra grinned. "Careful Mikado, you might be next."

"My name is already weird." Mikado cried.

"It's the name your parents gave you." Shizuo sighed ruffling the teen's hair.

"You're right, Yuki." Mikado murmured. Shizuo groaned looking pleadingly at Izaya.

"I can't change your name, Yuki-chan. I thought you'd like it. It makes you sound harmless."

Before their eyes the tower lit up, a beacon lighting their way. Mikado's eyes became wide pools of wonder. "Come on, the best view is up there."

"Nn." Mikado smiled taking his hand.

x-x-x

They were so high up. Mikado looked around in wonder. Above their heads were rows of round lanterns all lit up. Looking down he could see a small portion was glass, showing the view below.

"Look." He grabbed Izaya and Shizuo's attention. Izaya grinned enjoying the view as much as he was. Shizuo paled taking a step back.

"What's wrong, Yuki-chan? Fear of heights?"

"No. It just doesn't look safe."

"It's perfectly safe." Izaya grinned standing up. "Look." Izaya jumped on the glass.

"Flea!" Shizuo pulled him away keeping him locked within his arms.

"It was perfectly safe, protozoan."

"Not when I'm around, it's not." Shizuo murmured.

"Alright, I'll stay away from dangerous things." Izaya nuzzled back in Shizuo's hold.

"Tch, you'll try."

Mikado smiled moving across the spacious deck. It was as if the display had been set out for them alone. At one of the many windows, his hands pressed against the glass, gasping at the view. The moon gave a soft glow to the tops of the buildings, their own lights making them prominent.

"It's beautiful." Kanra breathed.

"If you're into that sort of thing." Shizuo commented standing at his side.

"It's only the first of many." Izaya grinned with a twirl. "This is where we'll be."

"What do you mean?" Mikado asked.

"Tomorrow we'll leave and go back to Saitama, where I can arrange for the official hard copy documents of our identifies. When that's done, you and I can get married. We'll go travelling wherever you want to and then we'll come back here to Tokyo. What better place to hide?"

"Hang on, flea. That's if the kid wants to. You can't make plans for other people."

"I want to." Mikado nodded. "You're married to Kanra. It's only fair I get Iz-Ren."

Shizuo shrugged. "As long as it's what you want."I guess we'd stick out too much in a small town."

"Exactly. You're learning, Yuki-chan."

"Shut it, flea."

x-x-x

They stayed until just before midnight when the tower closed. Izaya led them back to the hotel. He'd been worried on the effect Kasuka leaving would have but it seemed he didn't have to be. Shizuo was more concerned with their safety being so high up. It was sweet really, considering he'd dealt with higher heights.

Shizuo's belongings had been cleared from Kasuka's hotel room and moved to theirs. Upon their return they had seen the bag on the bed. Shizuo said nothing claiming the need for a shower. Izaya let him go. There was no need to worry, not any more.

Mikado stood beside the bed glancing at the bag awkwardly. The last obstacle to their relationship was gone. He should have expected the small portion of guilt left behind. "What are you thinking about?" Izaya asked.

Mikado looked at him with a sad smile. "You've both lost everything. This is my fault." So it wasn't only him.

"No, it's not. This was a conscious decision Yuki-chan and I made. I don't regret it."

"Really?"

"Really."

After Shizuo left the shower, Mikado took one and lastly himself. The bed was big enough to hold the three of them. The protozoan was on the right side with Mikado against him in the centre. Izaya took the left. His arms slid underneath the teen, one flopped over against Shizuo's. Izaya smiled. Everything was perfect again. Leaning over to give both his lover's a kiss, Izaya wished them goodnight and went to sleep.

x-x-x

Shizuo groaned at how hot his body was getting. Cracking one eye open he looked at the bulge underneath the covers, realising the warmth wasn't natural at all. Izaya grinned up at him, the raven nestled between his legs.

"What are you doing?"

"Sucking your dick."

"I can see that, Izaya. Why?" Shizuo grumbled.

"I thought you were supposed to always forget names, Yuki-chan?"

"Like I could forget yours."

"You need to." Izaya murmured around his shaft. "What better way to ingrain my new name into you, than this?"

Shizuo stared down at him. "Suppose so. Where's Mikado?"

"Gone to get breakfast."

"Couldn't you get room service?"

Izaya shrugged. "I wanted you alone."

"To molest me?" Shizuo asked.

"No, I can do that when they're here. I needed to talk to you."

"You can do that without attacking me."

"You like it."Izaya grinned.

"At least get my fucking consent." Shizuo grumbled without venom.

"Consent? Okay. Please Yuki-chan, can I suck your dick?"

Shizuo turned a dozen different shades of red, his mouth falling open at Izaya's shamelessness. He knew now he was in for perpetual teasing from the raven.

"Wha-"

Izaya sat back holding his hands up in a 'I won't do anything' gesture. "In all seriousness-"

"Since when are you serious?" Shizuo scoffed.

Izaya ignored his jibe. "Do you have any doubts about Kanra?"

"What do you mean?" Shizuo pulled a pillow out from behind his head, using it to give himself some modesty.

"Kanra and Mikado are happy to be treated as separate individuals. I need to know you're not going to do anything."

Shizuo sighed. "The kid's sick, Iz-"

"Ren." Izaya corrected. "What would you have me do? Send him to a shrink? Dose him up with pills that have way too many side effects? He may be sick but it's our fault."

"I know. I don't want that." Shizuo muttered. "I only want what's best for him."

"Then accept it. There's four of us in this relationship. There always has been."

"Fine. I get it. Was that it?"

Izaya shook his head. "No. How are you feeling about Kasuka?"

"Flea, I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay. I'm here when you do."

"I'm back." Mikado backed in through the door holding three stacked trays, one on top of the other. "Oh. Should we leave?"

"Nah. Damn flea tried to molest me in my sleep."

"Sounds like Izaya-nii."

"It's Ren now." Izaya sighed. "Leave the food over there and come here."

x-x-x

Mikado stared nervously at Shizuo. He wasn't sure if he still had reservations about Kanra. She was a part of him and he wouldn't let Shizuo hurt her. Inside him Kanra giggled, the two of them watching Izaya trying to snatch away the pillow, Shizuo was holding in place. Food forgotten he climbed onto the bed, hovering over Shizuo's mouth. Izaya huffed moving around to grab him.

"Fine. I'll play with Mikado and Kanra instead." Mikado liked the idea, his eyes on Shizuo as Izaya's hands glided along the skin under the blouse Kanra had forced him to wear. The raven's fingers rubbed, pinched and tweaked his sensitive nipples, reminding him just how long it had been since they'd last had sex.

His legs were open slightly giving Shizuo the view of his panties underneath the flimsy veil of the tights. Pressing back against Izaya, his head flew back in surprise. Shizuo's mouth was hot against him, tongue teasing as it tore through the material. Mikado moaned as Shizuo's tongue swiped over the silken covered bulge.

"Mikado, don't come yet." Izaya whispered pinching his ear with his teeth. Mikado nodded but when the silk was ripped away and Shizuo's mouth descended, he cried out covering his eyes with his hands.

"I'm so sorry, Shi-"

Izaya bit him, twisting one nipple in warning.

"Yuki." Mikado corrected. He needed to get used to their new names.

"Been a while, huh?" Shizuo wiped his face with his hand.

Mikado nodded feeling embarrassment flood him. Neither one of them said anything about it. Izaya licked a line down the column of his throat, nibbling softly. Shizuo lapped at the tip of his dick before taking the whole thing to the back of his throat.

"Ren, not there." Mikado panted.

Izaya grinned. "No lube."

"Don't care." Kanra answered.

"Okay, make sure you get them wet." Izaya's fingers eased into his mouth. Mikado grabbed his hand, sucking at the digits, coating them with his saliva. His eyes closed, thrusting Izaya's fingers back and forth. Izaya let him do as he pleased.

His hips bucked against Shizuo, pushing further into his mouth. Izaya chuckled pulling his fingers free. A wet trail glided down his back, Izaya's hand on his behind. Mikado jolted feeling the first press inside him.

Kanra cried out at the second. Both digits scissored inside him making his hole wet and slippery. "Yuki-chan, do you want to go first?" Mikado shivered at the look on Shizuo's eyes. Holding his legs open he smiled at his lover's body over his, the sharp pain in his ass and then everything was okay. Better than okay in fact. Mikado couldn't keep the stupid grin from his face. It was like old times. They'd taken their future back.

Mikado's nails clawed against Shizuo's back, his head in Izaya's lap rubbing against a hardened bulge. "Ren." The teen murmured fumbling with the button on Izaya's jeans.

Izaya did it for him, taking out his cock. Shizuo pulled out momentarily allowing him to roll onto his knees. "Ahn." Mikado moaned as it pushed back inside, his nose rubbing against Izaya's tip.

"Take your time." Izaya whispered.

Mikado shook his head impatiently. "I want you both."

"It'll hurt."

"Don't care. Now."

Izaya nodded humming a little as he sucked him off, imagining what it would feel like to have both of them inside. His dick twitched at the thought, earning a groan from behind him.

He was right. The two of them were being as gentle as possible but it still stung when Izaya joined Shizuo inside him. Mikado gave up flopping down on Izaya's chest as the pleasure overwhelmed him. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been reduced to a gibbering mess but he loved it. So did Kanra, writhing in their grasp.

Both of them cried out as they came. Izaya and Shizuo had found their rhythm again, groaning as they came together, flooding him with their hot warmth. Mikado couldn't move, couldn't find the strength to operate his mouth. His body was sated, too relaxed. Just as gently they pulled out gathering him against the pillows. Izaya smiled smoothing back a lock of hair poking out from under the wig. Shizuo ran a finger down his cheek.

Shizuo moved to get off the bed, Izaya grabbed his wrist pulling him back. "We're not done yet."

x-x-x

They were supposed to have left that morning. Morning became afternoon and the afternoon became evening. The four of them drowning in one another, over and over again, tracing every contour, every dimple. They reaffirmed their bonds over and over again until the only names they uttered were their new ones. They spent the night sleeping away, recovering from their exhaustion. Neither one of them remembered eating but they must have done since they weren't hungry or thirsty.

It was late morning when they finally left their room, carrying their bags through the lobby. The receptionist Eva gave them a smile and a wave as soon as she saw them. She was the unknown factor that knew the truth. They smiled back waving goodbye, leaving through the doors and into their future together, wherever it may lead.

End

_A/N:- And we're done. Big thank you for all your support. I may just may do one last part. We'll see._

_Revolution:- The honeymoon period is over and the bubble of reality bursts. They're back in Tokyo and it's time to settle down. It doesn't take long to realise their glaring flaws. Izaya is useless, Shizuo is in need of some serious anger management, Mikado is a high school dropout and Kanra is a free loader in more ways than one. With no friends or family to rely on, money is running out fast. To survive they'll need to learn to live as wolves in sheep's clothing and be normal._


End file.
